Life's been good to me so far

I don't even know where to begin.

I spent the school day continuing to work on our library (literal thousands of books on the floor, as we make donation boxes, dust long neglected shelving units, tape up kids' books that needed repair, and revamp our organizational system so we can actually find things again), washing dishes, and doing schoolwork with Jake and Elise. I really feel like I worked on the library for less than an hour (we started on it over the weekend), washed dishes for maybe 15 minutes, and did schoolwork with them for maybe 30 minutes. But the entire school day was somehow gone at the end of those three things.

Once I got Ananda and Aaron, everything promptly went fucking crazy. On our way home, I finally got through to our pediatrician and made Isaac an appt for tomorrow morning - I started leaving messages last week but he's been out of the office (anxiety, probably meds, Isaac's really been having a hard time). My sister called, saying some cryptic crap about me NOT LEAVING MY HOUSE and then hanging up, almost immediately after which my brother randomly showed up from out of town, with his girlfriend and a giant python, like "Surprise!" I barely got to say hi to them, because when Ananda changed out of her school uniform she was freezing up and panicking that she thinks a derby wound from her last practice is infected, and Aaron was shaking and almost in tears because while he was at school, a little hurt spot we'd seen on (his cat) Peter's forehead had turned into a giant swollen freaky spot emerging up out of his fur. Nancy started texting me loooooong messages continuously, about when we can get together during her visit down.

I started calling emergency vets, ignoring the texts coming in all the while, and had Annie heat water to stir up a salt water solution for me to irrigate her knee with. The first vet was too backed up. Laura arrived, with her kids. She took a picture of the knee wound, and texted it to her (paramedic) husband, who said he was working on an emergency. Bob tried to explain all about the snake, and agreed to pick Isaac up from STEM club, as I found a walk-in clinic to take Peter to. Grant agreed to take Isaac to his first counseling session with a new counselor, after STEM, since I would probably still not be back - even though Grant's supposed to be working from home. Annie cried about the saline on her leg, and fought with me about it, and finally agreed to at least sit with a rag soaked in it on the spot, even if I couldn't actually do any irrigation (which is basically just squirting over and over). Wincing, freaking out, etc. Brother in law texted Laura back to say they'd lost the patient.

The ride to the vet with Aaron and Peter was insane. It's barely over a mile from our house, but Peter somehow managed to get the door OFF the cat carrier we'd put him in, in the back seat. Not open, but off. So then he's running and yowling all over the damn car as I drive - he managed to step on the button to roll the back window down, Aaron was flipping out and yelling, Peter's abscess burst at some point and there was yellow puss dripping everywhere, I mean - this is all almost funny in retrospect, in a "laugh or cry" sort of way. Aaron managed to pin him in his lap and I got the window up and the window lock on.

The vet visit was great. They saw us right away, and since Peter's abscess had already mostly drained they just gave him an antibiotic shot, and us a bottle of antibiotics to keep giving him at home. The guy was nice. We were in and out in under 30 minutes. Aaron felt way better.

Back at the ranch, Bob had just gotten back with Isaac, and Ananda's leg looked a little better (and it looked better today than it did yesterday, when I DID do salt water irrigation that took it from dark pink and a little swollen, to light pink and just sore, around the broken skin - but after the vet it looked better than before the vet, with almost all of the pink gone...she just freaks about injury). While applying Neosporin and some gauze, I apologized to my unexpected guests that I basically had to turn around and walk right back out the door with Isaac, to go to counseling. Younger cousins continued to all play together with frisbies and ponies like they don't care what adults come and go, anyway.

Forms, insurance, and then an hour of "intake," as the counselor took a detailed history. She seems ok, and just needs to fully understand how smart Isaac is. He's very capable of real talk therapy and learning some new coping skills, but it seems like he's going to have to prove that to her before she moves past a "play and art therapy for kids who aren't ready for CBT" model... I hope it works out. It's another place within walking distance of our house, if it does. And he needs it. Play and art are both great and Isaac will like them, I'd just like to have some evidence based best practices going down, too. She kept stopping him to ask if he knew what words that she was using meant, like "stress" and "cognitive." He definitely does.

When we got home, Laura and Bob were gone, to their house and their city, respectively. My phone was still blowing up. Grant and I worked together to get more dishes washed, dinner cooked, figure out what Isaac needs for the rest of his science project, write down when his "family science night" at school is, swing by the store for a can of tuna to hide prescription cat antibiotics in, and make sense of Nancy's texts with our calendar. Planned a visit with her. The kids are very excited to see her - everyone wanted her down for this last Thanksgiving, since she'd been with us for the one before.

We finally sat down with Annie - she's been waiting 2 days since she brought it home, to show us all the art in her school portfolio. It has to go back, tomorrow. That was like half an hour, mostly comprised of her leading up to each piece with lots of disclaimers and then fretting over whether or not to show us the next one. Jake sat nearby with HP#5 in his lap the whole time, waiting pseudo-patiently for me to read to him.

When I was reading to Isaac, in his bed, Grant came in to tell me his mother's coming down in 3 days, with her husband and the twins, to stay here for 5 days. This IS good news... and she's coming to the derby bout Saturday (that Annie is hoping she can actually skate in...) which is great, just, uh - GAH. *sigh* My library is still half shambles, my kitchen is still not really clean, I'm overbooked morning, noon and night til they arrive - AND I HAVE A LOT OF SCHOOLWORK OF MY OWN DUE BY AND THROUGHOUT THE WEEKEND, MAN.

Right now I'm trying to think of how I can even begin to lie down in my bed and just sleep... I have to put away leftovers and then dig through the safe, for Isaac's post-assessment Generalized Anxiety Disorder diagnosis, from a couple of years ago, to take to the doctor tomorrow morning. It's very 50/50 that it will be there, and if it's not I move on to my desk via flashlight, since Grant's asleep in there. I'm supposed to get my shot in the morning - if I can squeeze that in, between the cat antibiotics/taking A&A to school, and getting Isaac up to his appt, with Jake and Elise. The office where I go says I can only show up for shots between 8:30 and 9 now, for some new reason I didn't question. After that appt, I have to get things printed at Office Max because we're out of stupid toner. There are things written on just about every day of our calendar for the next month - aside from things I've mentioned here, and our "regular" stuff, there's a filling, an oral surgeon consult, an out of town fieldtrip, a family roadtrip, a birthday...

I feel like a big scribble on a page. I've got gregorian chants on as I type, and am thinking of doing a stretching and deep breathing session somewhere nearby, before I brush my teeth.

I'm up late, lingering over the very last of the lovely holiday...in the beginning it was honestly sort of hell. I was just totally overwhelmed with trying to get the entire house clean and cooking so much, with company coming and time limits. I was doing school presentations and things the day before my Dad arrived, and I'm so freaking exhausted. I was taking 20 minutes once an hour to lie down, for an entire evening. Once things were underway, though, and it was too late to do any more than was done, I started coasting, and that has been wonderful most of the time since...

And Grant has had 9 days off in a row, Isaac 4, we've had so much cool intermittent company, put up Christmas trees, and blargh. This week is gonna be wall to wall, as all weeks tend to be lately. It's the end of the semester, and today I did two quizzes, some discussion board stuff and submitted a 5 page paper, online. The beginning of the end of the all too brief peace and lazing about. After we grocery/Christmas shopped, this afternoon, Grant took Ananda and Aaron to see Gravity, and I put a movie on for the littles and took the quiet hours for schoolwork...

Tomorrow I have to get Isaac to school; go by my doctor's office; go spend two hours getting fillings; then go to the school to make-up a theater exam, give the disability services people more documentation, and sell my textbooks back; make a power point presentation; write another paper; drive Aaron to dance; make dinner; read to everyone before bed... Tuesday I have classes, then a B-12 injection, driving people, feeding them, readings. Wednesday is counseling, gastroenterologist, blah blah blah. The three littles have a holiday concert instead of their normal music classes, after my classes, on Thursday. I'm trying to figure out with Nancy when we can see each other again before she leaves town in a couple of weeks, and with my sister when I can babysit so SHE can go to the doctor. Both of which are important to me, and more "good" than "work".

I make a point of scheduling leisure and downtime, lately. Tuesday evening, Grant will be here since he works from home Tues/Thurs, and we're going to watch a movie. Wednesday there are a lot of activities, but they're spaced out and local to where I can get a lot of quiet time at home with just Isaac and Jake, which is an unusual combination of kids to have home alone. Friday-day we will do nothing but guided schoolwork that they can't auto-pilot or do on the computer or whatever, since the rest of this week is low on that.

I'm just SO. fucking. TIRED. All the time. Friday, Saturday and today/Sunday, I've been going to bed around 1-2am, and sleeping until 1-3pm. Then I drink a lot of caffeine, and...take a nap. Still, I end up dozing off around 10 or 11. Second wind til bedtime.

I spent awhile up troubleshooting Ananda's chocolate chip cookies, with her, tonight, while everyone else was in bed. They came out hard as rocks and completely stuck on the pan, and she's very spoiled on early successes since she's made some challenging stuff like cheesecake and had it come out perfect. We talked a lot about the French law against face coverings for Muslim women, too, since I had to write about that earlier for school and she was interested - so many layers of racism and freedom and religious expression, etc...

I wrote another poem the other day. I've written a lot of poetry these past few months, for the first time in awhile. ( It's under here. )

Continuing with getting all of my November pictures posted!

Ananda's derby team had their first home bout this month, which was the first time I got to see her actually playing (not just practicing) in person - Grant and Gloria had previously taken her to away bouts. We got a lot of people to come out, including old high school friends of mine who are not pictured, and some of Annie's friends. Pre-bout tailgating included a big taco spread we brought along. Derby makeup, and nerves:


Gloria and LJ, excited:


Shaun and Cristy:


Aaron:


Possibly tipsy Grant, and Elise in mini-derby makeup Annie put on her:


I dressed up.


Half-time.


With Miguel and Izzy, all trying to look tough and then bursting out laughing as soon as the picture had clicked.


#1 fan.




It was fun. One of her coaches, who is on the adult team that had a bout after theirs, told her how well she'd done. She TOTALLY hero-worships this woman, and it made her flip. She was silly-stupid-happy for two days after :)

Back at the ranch - the chickens have finally started laying, as Jake and Elise wasted no time in RUSHING in SCREAMING to tell me ;)

Yes, it is a blue egg. And they roam free a lot, so it's like an Easter hunt every day :p

I randomly went outside for something else and found them wearing cut up cups as crowns.


Elise watching TV with Tom:


Isaac, sleeping with a special shell his penpal sent him :D


The cats use his bed, when he's at school.


One night, we had Miguel and Izzy and Izzy's brother Francois over, for dinner and a projector movie/sleepover. After the movie, Grant sat at the laptop projecting things on to peoples' faces. Like sunglasses, and clown noses, and celebrities.

Much laughter all around.

Next day:


New closed coils post-extractions, and new colors:


Our little Beasty's Girl Scout troop was in a parade up at the Falls - her shirt says "Keep Calm and Camp On," from this summer at GS camp.

Her brother's saved her a bubble necklace they'd gotten while watching the parade. You can see highlights from the rest of the parade (I didn't get any good shots of her group, unfortunately, and it seemed more important to scream and wave anyway) are here. <--They all get bigger. It's wild how the quality and variety of what is in a parade goes up, driving 30 minutes north :p

Sisters...


Some Thanksgiving pictures...it seems somehow ironic that these cuddly chickens were safely hanging out in the kitchen for part of the afternoon. They all just walk up to people and fall asleep in your arms, making little happy noises. It's ridiculous.



We were all SO. STUFFED. Nancy and Steve and their little dog Sundae, and my father, and Laura and Frank and their kids, and Gloria, and Shaun, and Grant and I and our kids. Delicious. And stuffed. And haha, you can see the picking my kids had done off of the edge of my clementine cakes.

Hours later:

That's Elise, (niece) Elizabeth, me, and Isaac.


You can see Gloria, Ananda, and Frank...we were still outside at 1am.

The only black Friday shopping we did was at Guitar Center...

Aaron, in Grant's hoodie and his new hip hop sneakers, drooling over expensive headphones.

Saturday was the Greater Miami Youth Symphony's 55th Anniversary Concert. Grant took Annie, and sent me these, while Aaron hung out with his friend Adrian and I took the littles to my sister's, since our mother was in town. I pretty much spent the whole visit catching my mother up on my latest lab results and apologizing to everyone for my brain fog and sleepiness. Sometimes, right in the middle of visits like that, I do stupid shit like tell everyone I'll run to Publix for a few things and then burst into tears and rant to my husband on my cell phone in the parking lot for 15 minutes until I feel like I can stay awake long enough to continue, uh, living.




Well hello, 3:30 O_o

Because it's on the way back from visiting Nancy, and he wanted to get something done. It's a deserted (for the weekend) section of the second floor of an office building. All the doors are ceiling height, there's a lot of glass and plush carpet everywhere and the children are currently sitting around a giant meeting table in cushy leather chairs watching hulu cartoons on a projector screen that comes down from the ceiling. We haven't really been in this particular workplace of his before (he's been here 6 months; it's 2 hours from our freakin' house).

Aaron, sitting at the head of the large meeting table: I am the CEO.
Me: You have something to tell us?
Aaron: I'm even wearing cologne. (takes off his watch) Today's topic is "Gshocks". Worth the money, or are you just paying for the brand name?
Me: Isaac, don't erase things from the (very complex and completely covered in writing) board!
Aaron: I think these chairs are probably, like, at least two dead cows each.
Annie: They're obviously fake.
Me: Based on what?
Annie: *glares at me*
Elise, sitting at the foot of the table: Now everyone has to pay attention to me *giggles*.
Jake, muffled from under the table: HEY GUYS THE MEETING IS DOWN HERE!
Isaac: Whoa, a golden doorknob! Did you know the doorknobs are golden here, Dad?
Me: You know what I think we should do? You and me, while they watch this movie?
Grant: I'm sure I do.
Me: There aren't cameras, right?
Grant: Not that I know of.
Me: Well.
Grant: I have stuff to do.
Me: I'm taking some pens and you can't stop me.

---

The meeting with Nancy was great. Ananda is taller than her, Aaron is almost as tall as her. We walked all around a park in Boca Raton with her pushing her dog in a dog stroller and updated each other on the last year of our lives, with Elise and Grant trailing after us when the conversation was too sensitive for small ears and walking alongside when not. Ananda rode a skateboard around, Aaron his unicycle, and Jake and Isaac mostly played at the playground. We sat on a bench and showed each other pictures off of our phones for twenty minutes. Eventually we caravan'd over to Whole Foods to eat. I'm meeting her alone in Davey next Sunday evening. It's a lot easier to say goodbye "til next Sunday" as opposed to "til next February".

So far today I've eaten:

-a tiny bit of canteloupe
-a few sugar snap peas
-a bunch of leftover roasted cauliflower from last night
-a donut
-some apple slices with cheddar cheese

It's kind of like that Sesame Street song, One of these things is not like the others...

I am extremely tired. There is not really a way to express this tiredness. I woke up almost panicking about how hard it seemed to get out of bed; "Am I pregnant?! Am I diseased?! Internal bleeding?!" (my guess is no, no and no,btw)

I just...I dunno. Monday was a whirl of blitzcleaning and dropping off our van to be serviced (tires and oil) and getting dropped off back over there to pick it up only to find it needed more work and I was stranded, and more blitzcleaning, and email and phone planning, as I anxiously awaited what Nancy would say about the portion of one of my books that I'd mailed her. Late that night I got replies, she said she was breathless, she'd cried, I gave her goosebumps, it was crazy! Crazily awesome.

Tuesday I got up on almost no sleep and ran out to the store in the prius, and Starbucks for caffeine, and did more last minute cleaning, and got all the kids up and dressed, and Nancy came. And it was a GREAT visit - we went through my partial manuscript and she gave me names and numbers for doctors and nurses she thinks I should quote and even sort of hinted around about writing a foreword for me, it was really exciting, but more than that she is just so WONDERFUL to have around in her own right. We ate and talked and laughed and I got pictures of her reading to all the kids. Grant and I managed to co-cook while she was here and she drove me to get my van out of the shop...where it turns out I had to pay $743. When I had just payed $512 the day before when it hadn't been done. New shocks, new brakes, they fixed the interior lights and on and on. ARGH we were not prepared for almost $1300 in sudden vehicle expenses. And then it was sad to have Nancy leave, but I was still happy. My mother in law called to say that Robby would be getting out of the hospital the next day (Wed) which is WONDERFUL and...I am so proud of him. When I visited him over the weekend we talked so much about how I can't help him if he's in residential treatment,a nd if he keeps taking so many unneeded meds he really will go crazy, and he actually took my advice and broke down and told the people in there that he was exaggerating and trying to get attention and quit acting. I am sure that was extremely difficult to do.

Wednesday is always madness, I have to get A and A to their 3 in a row dance classes up in Tamiami and get Isaac and Jake to AWANA down here in Homestead during the time the classes are going on. Everyone was on time, Ananda with her hair bunned and Aaron with his shoes found...Jake and Isaac with their vests on and books and dues in hand and verses memorized. Elise doesn't want to sit in the van that long - she stayed at my mil's this time, which they all loved. Including Robby, who was home. We worked out that he would come here for the next two days and then spend the weekend with her, when she's off work. So I had to go home and clean clean clean again because Robby's therapist was coming here to meet him, and read to everyone and blah blah blah. And go out and do late night shopping because I was going to have two teenaged boys here for Thursday and Friday, eating. The good news was that my brother's stupid transcripts FINALLY CAME IN THE MAIL FOR JOBCORPS. So he and I made a whole plan for the next day and I tried to get him to go to sleep earlier. He took it upon himself to shave with Grant's trimmers, wonders will never cease. Aaron was finishing all of his schoolwork for several days running, too.

Thursday was like:
-wake up at 7:45 (did I mention I got to sleep around 5 am?), nurse Elise back down to sleep
-take Bob out to JobCorps with bus fare for the return trip and a lot of instructions
-get home in time to meet Robby at the door arriving
-talk with him for half an hour while I made a heaping massive pile of french toast, turkey bacon and sliced oranges - he is very easy to talk with, I really enjoy his company
-get Ananda and Aaron up, the 4 of us had breakfast
-get Jake and Elise up and dressed, and then Isaac up and dressed, and serve the three of them breakfast
-enforce Ananda and Aaron's morning chores
-wake Grant up and get him breakfast and tell him there are frozen pizzas for lunch as I collapse for a nap
-up at 2, take a shower with G, check in with Bob about how it went at JobCorps, then rush everyone out the door along with a bag of packed snacks and some other accessories, to PATH
-Where everyone plays with friends, my kids did more physical fitness testing, I told my friends about Nancy's reaction to my book
-drive to Ron Ehman park, near the location of Aaron's special rehearsal - great driving talk and music with Robby. Tetherball, swinging, it was good, until Elise face planted in the sand off a swing badly - mouth, eyes and nose FULL of sand, one hand swollen and I thought it might be broken until she was nursing and calming down...her and Annie and I walked around the path alone, talking, and then Aaron sat on a bench with Elise and I for awhile talking, and then I snuggled with Jake until it was time to go
-we go drop Aaron off at his special rehearsal (for the dance competition at the end of the month, in Orlando. That his dance teacher is paying for, she wants him competing with her so badly. She begged me with tears in her eyes to let him do it O_O )While he did that, the rest of us made the trek to my mil's and back to get Robby's meds for the night and morning so he could just spend the night instead of coming back all early again. By this point I had a movie on in the van to placate the little ones and Robby was buying their compliance with mini-marshmallows. We talked about the autism spectrum, dairy, Lily Allen lyrics and our mutual... admiration for Taylor Lautner. With him and Taylor it's apparently sort of destiny, since Robby once stumbled upon him signing autographs at a Hot Topic AND he used to watch Sharkboy and Lava Girl when he was a kid. They're basically engaged.
-HOME. Everyone is starving and in and out of the kitchen while I make creamy mushroom chicken, roasted broccoli and some whole grain rice a roni.
-we eat. I give Isaac a bath with the special dyes-the-water-pink things he got for his birthday, and then Jake and Elise a bubble bath, and get them all in footed pajamas. Force Annie to brush her hair. Read to people and they go to sleep. Realize Robby is already out and cover him with a blanket. Argue with my brother about washing dishes.
-read a bunch of fan fiction til Grant gets home from work and we have some unusually strained conversation about his tendency to take after his dad and have expectations of me that lead to scolding when I don't meet standards
-come to some kind of resolution and black out in his arms - this was like, I don't know, 4 am.

Friday, I got woke up by people telling me Darrien and Naja had just arrived at 11:15. They were supposed to arrive at 1 so everyone was asleep and Robby let them in since he was on a couch near the door. They're my friend Kristin's kids and she's going through a divorce and doing CNA school on Fridays - so whenever her mom has something that interferes with her watching them on a Friday, they come here. They are great and no trouble, I just wasn't expecting them yet. Apparently the grandma was confused about a lot of details. This day turned out good though - partially because I went on my second Starbucks run of the week and refueled before I did anything else. We had nowhere to go but a potluck dinner at Kristin's later in the night and it was fun. I had Naja and Elise up on a step stool helping me make scones, Isaac had people to play cards with, Bob even went out and played with Darrien in the yard (Darrien idolizes Bob). I did catch Aaron and Darrien trying to light the grass on fire o_O Mostly it's surprisingly relaxed and not as loud as you would expect - we watched The Office by ourselves before G had to go to work.

When Kristin arrived from school my sister was in normal postpartum sahm crisis on the phone, stranded with no vehicle, and so we rearranged some carseats and rescued her. The potluck ended up awesome...I brought roasted cauliflower, sliced tomatoes and REALLY good lemon butter scallops. Kristin had HOMEMADE BUTTERNUT SQUASH RAVIOLI with a sage butter full of mushrooms on top, and homemade fettucinni with homemade pesto and OM NOM NOM. My sister brought her donut pans and made donuts while we passed Elizabeth around. Jake ate like...15 garlic rolls for dinner, and was in heaven. Brian, my sister's son, even did really well. I felt very useful corralling him off to be alone when he got overstimulated and taking him to the bathroom to "try" every so often.

It was REALLY BIZARRE when we all arrived in the driveway. Kristin's sister was there and they are the same height, same thin build, each wearing tight jeans and a clingy, long sleeved dark green top, with the same assymetrical, shorter in the back haircut. Keegan's is purple, but whatever. Different colored Converse. Laura and I both had on the same jeans, a black shirt, same proportions, basically same height and skin tone, different colored Kinos (flip flops). We're standing across the driveway in pairs aghast before everyone starts laughing. Carina, who's house Kristin is sharing, thought it was kind of hilarious and said if her sister was there it would have been even worse.

By the time the talking, the cooking, the eating, the dessert, and more talking were done, and we had gotten toys squared away and dishes and sweeping done and all of it, my kids and I got home at like 12:30. Snuggling, teeth, books, bed.

I woke up today and Robby had been picked up, people had eaten breakfast. Grant is off. The two of us walked over to a lot a block down and shot arrows. Now he's listening to some educational podcast with the 3 biggest ones.

THIS IS WHY I HAVE NOT BEEN UPDATING. How am I supposed to update?!

I have pictures I want to post and will try to.


IF YOU HOMESCHOOL: I have been meaning to tell everyone that Kumon workbooks, which are AWESOME, are currently 4 for 3 on Amazon, with free shipping. I ordered 14 of them for the older 4 of my kids, mid-week, and it was only $76 total. Which is a really good deal.

Also, if you go to cricketmags.com and use the code N401, you can get year subscriptions to really high quality, no-ad kids' magazines for only $24.95. Usually they are $33 each. I've been wanting a couple for a year now and finally went ahead and got Muse for A and A and Ask for Isaac.

Monday - Don't remember.

Tuesday - got up early-early, drove to Delray Beach, hung out with Nancy. We walked on boardwalks in wetland preserves, had lunch at a little natural market, and visited this new women's center called The Red Tent (!) that was awesome. It was a really great time, we caught up on everything in each others' lives and cried almost anytime we weren't laughing. She has such an uplifting spirit, and loves in this way you can just feel rolling off of her <3 On the way home it was me, a grande caramel macchiato, some really good music and then...I was almost out of gas. And stopped for gas. And my card wouldn't work. I'd checked the bank that morning - what I think must have happened is a security check since I was out of town and had already used it a couple of times? Anyway the (very cool) cashier chick had somehow let me pump the gas without paying yet and so I was standing there, like, uh....I can't pay you? She ended up paying for it herself and I wrote her a check. This is many in a long recent line of incidents that add up to what I believe to be lesbians hitting on me increasingly often. Trust me, you had to be there. Back at the ranch, I was so happy to take Elise and then Jake on bike rides, read to kids, generally get back into them and find them so happy to see me.

Wednesday - Normal Wed. chaotic lot of schoolwork and activities EXCEPT that Aaron told me his dance teacher wanted to talk to me, after I picked them up. So I went in by myself and we sat on the floor, and geeeeeeez people...she was tearing up twice talking about my son. Tawanna has choreographed awards shows, she's been on Arsenio Hall and danced with P. Diddy at the VMAs; she taught Usher how to dance. And she really, REALLY believes in my son, to the tune of "we'll pay for this convention it's a part of for him, but he has to compete with us in Orlando next month". O_O

Thursday - PATH was really great. Kristin and my sister were both there. PATH involves a 10 minute each way walk to and from my friend Michelle's car, these days, as she leans on me with her messed up knee. We laugh the whole way about the curbs being mountains and how I need to quit trying to make her sprint (like when I take a normal sized step). I did about 5 solid hours of house cleaning that night, with all the troops mobilized and helping.

Friday - Kristin's kids, Darrien and Naja, were dropped off at 9 am (second night this week that I was in bed for 4 hours). Elise idolizes Naja and A and A have a lot of fun with D, who also adores Grant and Bob. It was easy and I did A LOT of cooking in the AM - a VAT of strawberry oatmeal for everyone, big pots each of white bean chicken chili and kale and bean soup, a huge spinach and chicken salad for Grant and I. Kristin ended up staying after she came to get them - after a massive round of crude jokes and uproarous gossip (her own) - partially because they did not want to leave and partially because we had a date with "The Big Lebowski". Shaun came over to, we all had cheesecake, and then halfway through the movie people were falling asleep and it broke up.

Saturday - ISAAC'S BIRTHDAY! I have some pics and video I will post when I can. It was really good. I cannot believe one of my LITTLE kids is SIX! Aaron had a rehearsal for the competition and I drove him to that. While he rehearsed, I went to Lush again with money my Mama sent in my Valentine's Day card and got more awesome goodies, including Curly Wurly shampoo. We stopped to pick up party supplies on the way home. Isaac really wanted a store cake he had spotted, this year. Grant cleaned a ton while Aaron and I were gone, it looked great when we got back. And Isaac looooooved his party. Opa came with Patrice with presents, Oma came with Chuck and Robby and presents, my sister brought her kids, Kristin came back with Darrien and Naja, Shaun was over again, and he was basically in sugar and gift heaven all day long. We made his requested birthday dinner of shrimp, macaraoni and cheese and sparkling grape juice for a table of 11, as Patrice and Robby ended up spending the night. It is so fun to watch him receive things, he is so genuinely thrilled with each thing. For those who know what it means, his love language is TOTALLY gifts, and it really shows.

They are all out there now, it sounds like they've transitioned from making birthday cakes and cookies out of playdoh on the deck to indoor hide and seek. Robby is playing computer RPGs with my brother. He's wearing gray SPANDEX JEANS, with a black tshirt with neon pink and green designs on it, and a black suit jacket. And Ugg-ish black boots. All his hair is chemically straightened but thick and shaggy. And he's like 9 feet tall. Really though, he's towering over Grant and Bob at this (very narrow) point. It's crazy. He really dug looking through all my Lush goodies with me, as I suspected he would.

Grant is currently retrieving my sister's car key from her house so he can go to the fire station where Frank has parked their vehicle, with all the slings and the Kozy carrier in it, leaving my sister stranded.

I am hoping this day includes a long bike ride, and a good bath. Our tax return is in so we have some budgeting to do. And, it's Sunday, so I can eat chocolate, which I gave up for Lent. So far I had a breakfast of a soft cheese, pesto and prosciutto sandwich, leftover roasted broccoli and two cadburry cream eggs. Yeah, definitely a long bike ride ;)

I am going to leave you with this crazy video that Shaun showed me last night. Having watched it all the way through, I thought it was worth it.

Lately, it has been in the high 90s around here from around 11-3. With a "feels like" in the low hundreds. It does this every summer, though, and you can't just not leave the air conditioned house for months at a time. If you wait until later in the day when it's slightly cooler, the bugs are out in full force, which gets prohibitive.

So today while Ananda, Aaron and Isaac were at VBS, I took Jake and Elise on a walk. We saw butterflies, splashed in a puddle, picked a couple of flowers, pointed out some types of trees, as well as how people put their boats on trailer hitches so they can pull them behind their cars to the water, noted various sorts of customized mailboxes, turned bright red, sweated, panted, and came home. All in under 15 minutes. I really, really need excercise, and I really, really hate repetetive indoor excercising...I can't stand gym-type crap you sit and do over and over in one spot, it realy makes me nuts. So, I gave Elise a snack and made her drink a lot of water, pulled her hair back from her face and stuck her in her seat on the back of my bike. The bike at least lets you have some breeze of your own making. Grant took Jake to go pick up the other kids and Elise and I did our thing.

I went pretty far. I'm sure it was more than a couple of miles, and I kept getting to that point where it hurts a lot, and then past it to where it feels good again, which I love. I've taken plenty of 30-40 minute bike rides with Aaron riding alongside. In the later part of the day. With Elise on the back (which makes it considerably harder) I usually just ride around for 15 minutes or so. In the later part of the day.

So...yeah. I was really feeling good about pushing myself and straining through it the last 10 or so minutes, today. It was over half an hour, I don't know exactly how long. She fell asleep. I rode into our yard, where Grant had gotten back with the kids awhile before, and stopped and found that it was damn near impossible to get my leg up over the bar from the far pedal so that I could get off the bike. I was like, huh. Right. Interesting. Then I was standing on two feet, and suddenly very, very nearly vomiting. The nausea just hit me all at once like a wave. Grant came out and as he got Elise off the bike I stumbled in and collapsed into a red, sweaty heap and waited to feel even moderately normal again. After he went and put my bike away, since I am a ninny, and a couple more minutes passed, he looked at me and got alarmed, saying my face "shouldn't be that color" and I got into the shower. Where it occured to me that Elise could have fallen asleep, or could have passed out from heat stroke. *headdesk* On the one hand, she wasn't pedaling, had just drank a lot of water, and like I said, there is that minor biking breeze. On the other hand, she was wearing a damn helmet (I, bad person that I am, do not wear a helmet). A vented helmet with her hair pulled back from her face. But. I don't know. *sigh*

I can't decide if,
A. I need to be like my friends Alice and Kristin and just not use air conditioning anymore, so our bodies acclimatize to the actual environment we live in (THE HORROR!) - as it is my entire life has been mostly lived in ac'd houses and cars and buildings with the heat something you just run through on the way to and from the ac
B. It is obviously stupid to do anything strenuous outside in that kind of heat, wtf was I thinking (we had sunscreen on?)
C. I am just really out of shape (which is true regardless)

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I feel really productive this week. I've...

-cleaned three long out-of-control rooms of our house into spotlessness, and maintained them
-talked with Nancy and gotten her to agree to speak at a birthgirlz event, which is a huge boon for birthgirlz that caused much excitement
-studied the technique of rippling, in crochet, until it clicked in my head and I could do it without following patterns, and started a ripple blanket for Isaac (which he's been asking for, for months...)
-mailed things I needed to
-emailed long overdue things that took a load off my conscience
-had multiple opportunities to be generous and help someone that made me feel good
-made it to church as a family for the first time in way too long
-written a new short story

And we're all on a totally re-vamped early schedule because of preparing for and then going to VBS, for the first time in forever. And I'm the go-between setting up (HOPEFUL! potential...) sponsorship of the Great Green Family Festival by the winery. And we went back to the zoo and did new things we'd never done before in their Amazon exhibit, which seriously took my breath away with giant sea turtles swimming in a massive floor to ceiling aquarium and sting rays that swim up in a smaller pool so that you can touch them, and a jaguar THREE FEET AWAY FROM ME, at my same ground level, through nothing but a couple of rows of metal poles...and more. It was cool.

HUGE BOON: Grant managed to find a tutorial online and fix the dishwasher today! This is huge, I do a ton of cooking and we have a big family here...and, well, I HATE DISHES. I did enough dishes as a kid to last me a lifetime. And we have this high capacity awesome KitchenAid dishwasher we bought new when we moved in here, so wtf? They were piling up terribly over the past week. I am really thankful for WikiBooks, and my husband.

Little things...
*we found an area that has dozens of wild rabbits and field mice running around at dusk, and the kids think it's awesome. We can't get out of the van or they scatter, but we can pull up and open the side door and they just go about their business close by.
*Ananda keeps going to her dance classes in, like, shorts and tshirts, and I don't say anything because they aren't saying anything and there are a lot of other girls coming in and out of DE with similarly casual clothes on. She mostly wore shorts and tanks to class all last year, and only dressed up for the recital. Yesterday when it was time to go she came out in knee length JEAN shorts, though, hair down, and I was like, "Really? You're going to wear that to ballet and jazz?" and she was like, "Look at this" and lifted her leg up parallel with her torso so that her foot was over her head, and I was like, alright. Whatever. Talk about it with your teachers. So I went and wrote while she was in class and when I came back to get her, her hair was in a bun and she said, in a deadpan voice, "I have to get another leotard." I laughed and laughed. Apparently all three girls in this intermediate ballet showed up in street clothes with hair down today and Candace (her teacher) brought down the gauntlet. And also did Annie and another girl's hair when they each tried to say theirs wasn't long enough for a bun.
*between church, VBS (which they're all three LOVING), dance classes, Grant taking Aaron and Isaac out to the movies and a 5 hour long playdate at Michelle's that A and A had on Sunday, I am starting to feel as though I don't see my oldest kids anymore

( Cut for logistical ponderings on possible travel - very boring )

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PRODUCT ENDORESEMENT

We ended up going with strapless bras for Annie from Macy's online. They were $11 each, came today, and not only do they fit like a dream but still with lots of room to grow, but they are insanely comfortable for her and look like they'll last a long time. And they're totally not slipping or shifting. Also, the camisoles they sell for girls that I thought were $6.95 each? It's actually $6.95 per two pack, which is great because Annie really likes them, too.
http://www1.macys.com/catalog/product/index.ognc?ID=339490&CategoryID=25487

Man I should be sleeping right now. But I actually have things I feel like writing about!

Our babysitting ship has come in, and I shall call her G. I put an ad up on this site called sittercity.com awhile back and I've gotten a lot of very mainstream applicants, people who aren't bad but also just aren't what I'm looking for. People who seem surprised and confused that I want to meet with them prior to them doing any babysitting, which kind of blows my mind.

So G. G!! Wait, this will get confusing, because I sometimes call Grant G. Alright, for this entry G is the babysitter.

She's a DOULA, and a lactation consultant, with years of experience as a camp counselor with older kids. This all in and of itself is kind of amazing. Unlike most other applicants she also understands basic laws of punctuation and capitalization, and speaks fluent english. I know, I know, I sound horrible, but in practice those things are important to me - I want someone who can really communicate well with my kids.

So. I talked to her. AND - get ready for this, my gosh - SHE IS FRIENDS WITH NANCY! She lived in Boston for 2 years and worked with her!!!!!!!!!!!! What the heck is this, I get a therapist that read her book and fought for a vbac and then I find this babysitter, I am telling you God put that woman in my life. Nancy I mean, not G, although I'm starting to consider that too.

We spent 45 minutes on the phone on Friday. She and I both love the Ya-Ya books and have solidarity with our siblings after strange childhoods. She is my craft inverse, being better at sewing and just starting out with knit and crochet. She CRIED on the PHONE about my BIRTH STORIES. She's looking to forge a long term relationship with a family, she's read all the detailed info about each of my kids on my profile and...well...

Let's just say I'm excited.

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My poor sister has to get her baby root canals at a hospital under general anesthesia, to the tune of $5,000 (with insurance!). It's horrible. But she's really figuring him out, with sensory issues, and all his crazy hoohaw is falling into place nicely. Our ped is impressed with her prowess, I think.

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I am kind of freaked out about how much our lives are changing right now...we have some neighbors coming over on Sunday - tomorrow - to help G figure out putting in the wood floors. Really nice guy who is a plumber that's been doing work for us...they have a five year old daughter that's apparently dying to meet our kids. And our other neighbors, their kids went to the same VBS mine did and Aaron's been playing basketball with him outside a lot. So we've got new neighbors in place of the old, we have this babysitter coming for a first face to face on Monday, we're in this house. And -

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We bought rabbits today! Two female dwarfs that we're keeping in an outdoor pen on the grass during the day and in a cage on the deck at night. A and A had saved up over $150 combined in Christmas, birthday, tooth and other misc money over the past 8+ months, for this, and so they are "their" rabbits, though of course I have to oversee a lot of care...and will probably be footing the bill for some bug netting and spaying in the next few months, as well. We got them from a local bunny farm, they are only 45 days old and from the same litter. I anticipate them being spoiled rotten on organic spinach and apple slices and too much cuddling.

I have a ton more to say but Elise came and sleep walked onto my lap, and now I'm trying to type one handed on an unfamiliar laptop with a warm baby limp on me and making me sleepy with voodoo...So.

( Cut for pictures from going to a play, going to the beach, and hanging out with Naaaaaaaaaaaaancy )

Grant got the job I talked about a few days ago, except the day shift, which is an added bonus. It's every Thursday, Friday and Saturday, and every other Wednesday, 12 hour shifts (7:30am-7:30pm). $38k a year plus benefits after some period or other passes, with hours that will allow him to keep VeriFone, and the bank, and have whole uninterrupted days with us.

I don't know much of anything about Mike Huckabee except that he was on the Colbert show tonight, and cracking up with some double entendres as he played air hockey to try to "win Texas". That might be enough for me O_o I suppose I have to look up some more stuff. I've avoided bringing it up here thus far, but I am really anti-socialist policies. I want to keep my homeschooling freedoms, and I want women to have more birth freedoms, and I even prefer my own personal healthcare situation (choosing to pay out of pocket for our ped of choice who rocks, fighting for Medicaid but getting it in the end for Elise, her and I both getting all the emergent care we needed with bills coming later, all of it) than what I've heard of government health care. I really really REALLY like SMALL government more and more, the more I learn, even when it means that things I'm "Against" get to be done/legal/whatever (like abortion or guns). I don't want a draft, I don't want insane property taxes and death taxes on estates you leave to your kids and on and on, I don't want anyone up in my business. I'm a freewheeling libertarian Ron Paul supporter. I think :p Whenever I hear Obama or Hillary talking, they sound so freaking socialist and the end result is inevitably peoples' freedoms being taken away, in ways that scare me. It's like everyone's forgotten what we all learned in high school history - communism only works in theory. Capitalism DOES take care of (almost) everyone in the end because of the trickle-down effect wealth in a nation like ours has, and it gives everyone the opportunity to strive and reach further and achieve that American Dream if that's what they're after...

I think of really liberal, progressive areas of our country where people like Hillary are popular, like New York City, and it's like...people in New York have no birth freedom at all. They imprison midwives, Nancy told me when I was in Massachusetts that if I were to go into labor while she was in Syracuse for the ICAN conference, she'd have to cross back over to do my birth. They have all these seemingly great initiatives in place for new low income mothers, too...where they strongly discourage co-sleeping and widely teach that you must vaccinate and all this. Moms who do things in "unusual" ways that are ignorantly thought to be unsafe are reported to CPS. Homeschooling is extremely rare, it's just...crap, as far as I'm concerned. That's not what I want.

But of course you can't find a likely candidate who is small government AND cares about the environment (which I do). Enter Ron Paul. Who is not likely :/

I have to wash ye olde dishes.