school
- wrote 5 page paper about the "Burqa Bill" France passed in 2011, and how it's impacting people/communities.
-wrote 10 page paper comparing and contrasting the Schoenstatt (Catholic, vigil to Mary) shrine and the Wat Buddharangsi (Theravada Buddhist) shrine, both out in the Redlands. Their live-in fulltime religious folks, their rituals and community events, their aesthetics and how they fit into larger movements. Accompanying 10 slide power point presentation.
-Psychology of Aging final exam, online
-12 slide power point presentation on medical aid to Haiti, and how and when racism and exploitation play into it, along with how that can be avoided, and the very good work many people are doing
-made up my theater midterm, in person
-tomorrow I take the theater final
-and present that second power point
-and watch Bucket List and start writing a MASSIVE paper due this weekend, about it and some other articles
-and, this weekend, write a 5 page paper on how race has impacted nation building throughout the Caribbean
-and get the rest of my documentation from my doctor and meet with the disability services people again
Kids
-we cut out, decorated, and baked a million gingerbread cookies
-there has been some great dinner on the deck time
-lots of my-bed morning cuddles
-much driving to their 7 million activities
-tomorrow afternoon Isaac, Jake and Elise will be performing in their little holiday recital with GMYS :) Isaac's school holiday performance, Aaron's dance solo in the Holiday solo show, and another GMYS concert with Annie are all coming up too. And another derby bout. And and and.
-Ananda and Aaron stayed up late with me tonight watching all the cleanest standup comedy I know and love with me, and laughing a lot.
-I got a couple more Christmas presents - we now have everyone's Christmas Eve pajamas and all the stocking stuffers except pomegranates done, along with about a third of the actual presents. I've never been this "behind" on this stuff, but my house feels quiet and glowy from Christmas trees when we're inside, and they've loved decorating and whatever, basically :p
-lots of conversations with an angsty Aaron who is feeling he wants to quit dancing forever
-lots of tiptoeing and reassurance with Isaac, who is having mega-anxiety
-a great hour out looking at the sky and taking pictures of it and each other, with Jake. Also an interesting hair styling time with him, this afternoon.
-two batches of failed royal icing with Annie, after her failed cookies :p she's sticking with it, though. Her iced tea and cheese sauce (for Mac n cheese) were great on thanksgiving, too. We had a 90s music video marathon on the way to derby.
Medical
-I got the first 6 of my 15 freaking fillings done, Monday. The next few will be at the end of the month. Dentist really had to do a lot of drilling, since he tackled the worst ones first, some below the gum line :/ He said, "borderline root canals." They look great now, but chewing has basically sucked for a couple of days.
-Second weekly B-12 shot happened. I don't even feel them, which is nice. They are also having no measurable effect on my (non-existent) energy levels, which is meh.
-counseling is really, really helping me - I'm truly excited about the PTSD strides I'm making. EMDR is very challenging sometimes, but worth it.
-gastro was interesting, I have more bloodwork pending and have to absolutely die of trauma because they want a STOOL SAMPLE *sounds of me flailing in panic like a baby*
personal
-emailing with Nancy DAILY to make sure we can hammer out a date/times that actually works for both of us, before she leaves the state for another year
-Grant's Christmas party is this weekend, and it's at a Greek place with belly dancers, this year. Looking forward to that :)
-I saw on facebook that one of my best friends is engaged, heard through the grape vine that another might be pregnant again, am psyched to see Kristin renew her online presence, returned a message to somebody I like talking to, am editing someone's AA story for them to share on a subreddit... and am generally like WTF about how I don't have the time or resources for more real life interactions :/ It really bums me out, sometimes, and is definitely something I hope might improve if we're in Maryland (because I won't be spending some 15-20 hours per week driving, there will be more like-minded people about, and also Kristin will once again be at close range).
-I'm reading American Gods (Neil Gaiman), since, hey, I have a signed copy and Grant's almost done with the audiobook so we can talk about it. Mostly just in waiting rooms and bathrooms, not that those don't add up.
-I've gotten kind of stupid depressed about a couple of pictures of me taken recently, I feel like I am just looking...old. In the face. And I don't like that. It surprises me when I see it, like - wha? That's not how I feel, OR how I look :p I honestly have a really hard time conceptualizing how I look in general, I really love some aspects and am really not into others. I'm usually very happy with mirrors but completely horrified with pictures, and am used to getting both degrading comments and unsolicited flattery - regularly. My standard reaction to it all is to shrug and go back to just, you know, living in here and looking out through my eyeballs. I'm extremely pleased with how my hair feels on my back and shoulders and how great stretching is, tonight, for instance, so I just roll with that.
- wrote 5 page paper about the "Burqa Bill" France passed in 2011, and how it's impacting people/communities.
-wrote 10 page paper comparing and contrasting the Schoenstatt (Catholic, vigil to Mary) shrine and the Wat Buddharangsi (Theravada Buddhist) shrine, both out in the Redlands. Their live-in fulltime religious folks, their rituals and community events, their aesthetics and how they fit into larger movements. Accompanying 10 slide power point presentation.
-Psychology of Aging final exam, online
-12 slide power point presentation on medical aid to Haiti, and how and when racism and exploitation play into it, along with how that can be avoided, and the very good work many people are doing
-made up my theater midterm, in person
-tomorrow I take the theater final
-and present that second power point
-and watch Bucket List and start writing a MASSIVE paper due this weekend, about it and some other articles
-and, this weekend, write a 5 page paper on how race has impacted nation building throughout the Caribbean
-and get the rest of my documentation from my doctor and meet with the disability services people again
Kids
-we cut out, decorated, and baked a million gingerbread cookies
-there has been some great dinner on the deck time
-lots of my-bed morning cuddles
-much driving to their 7 million activities
-tomorrow afternoon Isaac, Jake and Elise will be performing in their little holiday recital with GMYS :) Isaac's school holiday performance, Aaron's dance solo in the Holiday solo show, and another GMYS concert with Annie are all coming up too. And another derby bout. And and and.
-Ananda and Aaron stayed up late with me tonight watching all the cleanest standup comedy I know and love with me, and laughing a lot.
-I got a couple more Christmas presents - we now have everyone's Christmas Eve pajamas and all the stocking stuffers except pomegranates done, along with about a third of the actual presents. I've never been this "behind" on this stuff, but my house feels quiet and glowy from Christmas trees when we're inside, and they've loved decorating and whatever, basically :p
-lots of conversations with an angsty Aaron who is feeling he wants to quit dancing forever
-lots of tiptoeing and reassurance with Isaac, who is having mega-anxiety
-a great hour out looking at the sky and taking pictures of it and each other, with Jake. Also an interesting hair styling time with him, this afternoon.
-two batches of failed royal icing with Annie, after her failed cookies :p she's sticking with it, though. Her iced tea and cheese sauce (for Mac n cheese) were great on thanksgiving, too. We had a 90s music video marathon on the way to derby.
Medical
-I got the first 6 of my 15 freaking fillings done, Monday. The next few will be at the end of the month. Dentist really had to do a lot of drilling, since he tackled the worst ones first, some below the gum line :/ He said, "borderline root canals." They look great now, but chewing has basically sucked for a couple of days.
-Second weekly B-12 shot happened. I don't even feel them, which is nice. They are also having no measurable effect on my (non-existent) energy levels, which is meh.
-counseling is really, really helping me - I'm truly excited about the PTSD strides I'm making. EMDR is very challenging sometimes, but worth it.
-gastro was interesting, I have more bloodwork pending and have to absolutely die of trauma because they want a STOOL SAMPLE *sounds of me flailing in panic like a baby*
personal
-emailing with Nancy DAILY to make sure we can hammer out a date/times that actually works for both of us, before she leaves the state for another year
-Grant's Christmas party is this weekend, and it's at a Greek place with belly dancers, this year. Looking forward to that :)
-I saw on facebook that one of my best friends is engaged, heard through the grape vine that another might be pregnant again, am psyched to see Kristin renew her online presence, returned a message to somebody I like talking to, am editing someone's AA story for them to share on a subreddit... and am generally like WTF about how I don't have the time or resources for more real life interactions :/ It really bums me out, sometimes, and is definitely something I hope might improve if we're in Maryland (because I won't be spending some 15-20 hours per week driving, there will be more like-minded people about, and also Kristin will once again be at close range).
-I'm reading American Gods (Neil Gaiman), since, hey, I have a signed copy and Grant's almost done with the audiobook so we can talk about it. Mostly just in waiting rooms and bathrooms, not that those don't add up.
-I've gotten kind of stupid depressed about a couple of pictures of me taken recently, I feel like I am just looking...old. In the face. And I don't like that. It surprises me when I see it, like - wha? That's not how I feel, OR how I look :p I honestly have a really hard time conceptualizing how I look in general, I really love some aspects and am really not into others. I'm usually very happy with mirrors but completely horrified with pictures, and am used to getting both degrading comments and unsolicited flattery - regularly. My standard reaction to it all is to shrug and go back to just, you know, living in here and looking out through my eyeballs. I'm extremely pleased with how my hair feels on my back and shoulders and how great stretching is, tonight, for instance, so I just roll with that.
(no subject)
Nov. 4th, 2013 11:34 amWHOA I'm suddenly feeling completely overwhelmed by an avalanche of what seems, at the moment, to be totally unmanageable. Kid things, homeschool things, college things, house things, holiday things, doctor things, activity things, health things, budget things, just. *deep breath*
I remember a time when list making and pre-scheduling was a way to procrastinate. Now, if I DON'T do it - thoroughly - I'm totally screwed. There's just no other way to keep it all straight. Just this morning I got an email from Isaac's cheerleading coach that I didn't bring in the October payment (already sent apology) and then realized I had entered a due date for an online exam wrong and, as a result, had missed the deadline (still working out how to approach that issue with professor). I'm also realizing I have to let the woman I carpool with for dance know that I can't do the northward trip Wednesday afternoon, and really frustrated that the receptionist at my rheumatologist cannot get my email address right so that I actually receive some blood test orders NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES I CALL AND REPEAT IT, LETTER BY LETTER, VERY VERY SLOWLY. It's just altarflame, fyi. Not super complicated. So far we've gotten altarslame, altarflane and that old classic, alterflame. I've spoken with this woman 3 times, and left her 2 messages, starting last Monday morning.
A friend of mine is asking to come over and I sat and thought, and thought, and could not think of a single time when I could invite her that wasn't either scheduled in some way, or necessary to use for things I have to prioritize (kids' school work, the dishes, my homework, reading to kids, etc) then since so much time IS scheduled. Part of why I'm screwed at the moment is because I chose to spend good time with my husband, ignoring everything else, for too much of the weekend. We're at a place where to procrastinate is to court doom, and I started procrastinating late last week when I just felt triggered, and done, and everything seemed to double in weight for a couple of days. Overall, I am happy to report that counseling is going well and I feel less nuts all the time :p
Just a few random tidbits from my swirling thoughts:
-We've spent over $3,000 out of pocket at the pediatric dentist and orthodontist, since August, which has only really been possible because August was when Grant received a quarterly bonus and I got my student aid refunds. Annie still needs her last 3 baby teeth extracted this month, before our monthly ortho financing payments kick in (for her braces). I'm happy to report that EVERYTHING that was wrong with Isaac and Jake's teeth has been fixed, Elise's one cavity is filled, Annie's big ortho mess is well on it's way to being better, and all five of them have sealants on, now.
-But I went to the dentist last week, for the first time in what turned out (somehow) to be FIVE YEARS. My teeth look pretty good at a glance, and never hurt, but apparently I have some fierce demineralization around the gum lines from the "antibiotics of last resort" I was given while septic - dentist said he sees that and it's a thing, apparently...and, thus. I NEED FIFTEEN FILLINGS. FIFTEEN. As my sister so aptly put it, "that is basically dentures." I'm torn between being horrified and being really, really grateful that I got in there before the need was for root canals or worse.
That is the tip of the iceberg of the swirling thoughts, but if I really start writing I will write for a very long time, and I just don't have the time to do that, unfortunately. I have to go write various tiered and prioritized plans, turn off all social media, hide my phone, and systematically work through as many things as possible until, you know, I lose consciousness or something.
My tumblr queue is very full and will be posting automatically for at least a week, and I have some great pictures that I'll hopefully find time to throw up here at some point in the next few days :)
I remember a time when list making and pre-scheduling was a way to procrastinate. Now, if I DON'T do it - thoroughly - I'm totally screwed. There's just no other way to keep it all straight. Just this morning I got an email from Isaac's cheerleading coach that I didn't bring in the October payment (already sent apology) and then realized I had entered a due date for an online exam wrong and, as a result, had missed the deadline (still working out how to approach that issue with professor). I'm also realizing I have to let the woman I carpool with for dance know that I can't do the northward trip Wednesday afternoon, and really frustrated that the receptionist at my rheumatologist cannot get my email address right so that I actually receive some blood test orders NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES I CALL AND REPEAT IT, LETTER BY LETTER, VERY VERY SLOWLY. It's just altarflame, fyi. Not super complicated. So far we've gotten altarslame, altarflane and that old classic, alterflame. I've spoken with this woman 3 times, and left her 2 messages, starting last Monday morning.
A friend of mine is asking to come over and I sat and thought, and thought, and could not think of a single time when I could invite her that wasn't either scheduled in some way, or necessary to use for things I have to prioritize (kids' school work, the dishes, my homework, reading to kids, etc) then since so much time IS scheduled. Part of why I'm screwed at the moment is because I chose to spend good time with my husband, ignoring everything else, for too much of the weekend. We're at a place where to procrastinate is to court doom, and I started procrastinating late last week when I just felt triggered, and done, and everything seemed to double in weight for a couple of days. Overall, I am happy to report that counseling is going well and I feel less nuts all the time :p
Just a few random tidbits from my swirling thoughts:
-We've spent over $3,000 out of pocket at the pediatric dentist and orthodontist, since August, which has only really been possible because August was when Grant received a quarterly bonus and I got my student aid refunds. Annie still needs her last 3 baby teeth extracted this month, before our monthly ortho financing payments kick in (for her braces). I'm happy to report that EVERYTHING that was wrong with Isaac and Jake's teeth has been fixed, Elise's one cavity is filled, Annie's big ortho mess is well on it's way to being better, and all five of them have sealants on, now.
-But I went to the dentist last week, for the first time in what turned out (somehow) to be FIVE YEARS. My teeth look pretty good at a glance, and never hurt, but apparently I have some fierce demineralization around the gum lines from the "antibiotics of last resort" I was given while septic - dentist said he sees that and it's a thing, apparently...and, thus. I NEED FIFTEEN FILLINGS. FIFTEEN. As my sister so aptly put it, "that is basically dentures." I'm torn between being horrified and being really, really grateful that I got in there before the need was for root canals or worse.
That is the tip of the iceberg of the swirling thoughts, but if I really start writing I will write for a very long time, and I just don't have the time to do that, unfortunately. I have to go write various tiered and prioritized plans, turn off all social media, hide my phone, and systematically work through as many things as possible until, you know, I lose consciousness or something.
My tumblr queue is very full and will be posting automatically for at least a week, and I have some great pictures that I'll hopefully find time to throw up here at some point in the next few days :)
Pictures! An even 50 of them :)
Sep. 30th, 2013 02:08 amThis evening, while Grant got the grill going, I ran up to the store for a couple of dinner ingredients we were missing. Got home, and Elise had on dark sunglasses and a jacket tied around her waist. Arms crossed over her chest, she started doing squats and chanting in a deep voice, "Emo, emo, emo!" Meanwhile, Jake ran past me with a hamster puppet on a wooden sword, yelling, "We're having roast hamster tonight!!!!" Then Aaron appeared, asking if I wanted to see how deep he'd cut his finger while he and Adrian were whittling with Adrian's homemade knives as though I was going to be REALLY impressed.
My house :)
( Right this way to the pictures (and one short video)... )
My house :)
( Right this way to the pictures (and one short video)... )
Writing | Dentist
Sep. 6th, 2013 04:46 pmI have not had much time for actual writing, lately. I wrote two poems I'm happy with, while I was in Maryland, but other than that I am just so busy with school and life at the moment. I worked on the nieces and nephews children's books, and looked over my novel plans, between semesters.
There is still a lot of "writer stuff," though. This past week...
-I awarded a new contest winner, on tumblr.
-I got an email from Nancy, saying she ordered "another 6 copies," as she's continuously giving them out as gifts ♥
-I got an email from a former english professor of mine, saying she loves it, and asking my permission (as if I would say no!) to make it one of the 8 books her students choose from, to read and then write a major paper about! I was with my sister when it came in, and pointed out my leg goosebumps to her :p
-I got more painting-progress text images, from my wayward Illustrator.
We had the first round of follow-up dentistry, today - Ananda and Isaac. She had sealants put on all of her teeth, and an extraction of a baby tooth that was not going anywhere on it's own. He got his first 5 fillings, which covers one side of his mouth :/ They both did great, though - she has a cold, so lying back with a nitrous nose bulb thing was no fun. Isaac really blew them away. They normally give one or two "Main Street Dollars" to kids who do well during procedures, that can be accumulated and traded for movie tickets, but he got three. Sometimes I am still shocked by how calm and mature my former-tyrant is, these days.

Isaac, watching the Chipmunks while the gas kicked in. The sunglasses are so the exam lights don't blind you with glare :)

Yes, that is my 13 year old with the sides of her head shaved, wearing the skateboarding shirt, listening to Bach's cello suites while she waits...

You can see the tiny bit of her tooth that was actually sticking out, and the (comparatively) giant roots O_o
Jake let her know that the tooth fairy gave HIM $20 for an extracted tooth with big roots attached, years ago, so now I'm screwed, which Ananda clearly thinks is awesome, although she is definitely not letting on that she KNOWS there is no tooth fairy (since that would negate all benefits ever after). It's pretty funny.
There is still a lot of "writer stuff," though. This past week...
-I awarded a new contest winner, on tumblr.
-I got an email from Nancy, saying she ordered "another 6 copies," as she's continuously giving them out as gifts ♥
-I got an email from a former english professor of mine, saying she loves it, and asking my permission (as if I would say no!) to make it one of the 8 books her students choose from, to read and then write a major paper about! I was with my sister when it came in, and pointed out my leg goosebumps to her :p
-I got more painting-progress text images, from my wayward Illustrator.
We had the first round of follow-up dentistry, today - Ananda and Isaac. She had sealants put on all of her teeth, and an extraction of a baby tooth that was not going anywhere on it's own. He got his first 5 fillings, which covers one side of his mouth :/ They both did great, though - she has a cold, so lying back with a nitrous nose bulb thing was no fun. Isaac really blew them away. They normally give one or two "Main Street Dollars" to kids who do well during procedures, that can be accumulated and traded for movie tickets, but he got three. Sometimes I am still shocked by how calm and mature my former-tyrant is, these days.

Isaac, watching the Chipmunks while the gas kicked in. The sunglasses are so the exam lights don't blind you with glare :)

Yes, that is my 13 year old with the sides of her head shaved, wearing the skateboarding shirt, listening to Bach's cello suites while she waits...

You can see the tiny bit of her tooth that was actually sticking out, and the (comparatively) giant roots O_o
Jake let her know that the tooth fairy gave HIM $20 for an extracted tooth with big roots attached, years ago, so now I'm screwed, which Ananda clearly thinks is awesome, although she is definitely not letting on that she KNOWS there is no tooth fairy (since that would negate all benefits ever after). It's pretty funny.
Inception:
I thought this movie took an amazing, mind-blowing concept and then dropped the ball with it. I realize this is going to scandalize some people on my friends' list, but throughout the whole thing I was overwhelmed with how shared dreaming and layers of consciousness are just such badass concepts to stick in a film, and it was totally unrealistic and overly Hollywood the way it was executed. Examples of what I mean ( Are Behind the Cut, and rife with spoilers )
South Florida Pediatric Dentists:
Dr Smitely at Main Street Smiles is amazing. Jake had a filling and an extraction last Tuesday and I sat in the room for it, and was so impressed. She is friendly and sing-songy to the kids, and does so many "extra" things - she kept all the scary instruments covered at all times, put sunglasses on him to block the harsh light from his eyes, and let him pick the color of his nitrous nosebulb to match his crocs. He was watching Ice Age as she went about her business, and because of how well she numbed his gums with gel first and came in from below at an angle, he never knew she was giving him novacaine shots. Or saw the syringe. It was so good.

She explained every single thing to him in a kid-friendly way before she did it - letting him feel the cleaner and the vaccum on his finger before she put them in his mouth, talking the whole time to him about what was going on. She also seemed to understand that he was ignoring her sometimes in a very obvious, conscious way as a coping mechanism. There were about 3 minutes during the filling when he started to freak a little just because there was SO MUCH in his mouth...but then that passed and he was alright again. The extraction part was like nothing, he was totally cool for that.
He got to pick two treasures and two stickers afterward, and she gave him his tooth in a tiny treasure box that we could take home and put under his pillow.
We let him eat all the ice cream (which turned out to be the entire half gallon box), yogurt (a 6 pack) and applesauce he wanted the rest of the day and he's looking forward to going back in a couple of weeks to get the other side of his mouth done.
HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!
JUMP's Broadway Finale show at the Hammerstein Ballroom
IT WAS SO BADASS! I was thinking, ok, this isn't really gonna be a Broadway show, it's gonna be a kids' dance show that just happens to be on Broadway. And I was wrong. Anyway JUMP posted the opening number in a video on facebook that I wanted to share. This is all the JUMP National VIPs for 2010 and please keep in mind that this is something they choreographed and rehearsed completely during the ONE WEEK we were all in NYC for the event!
http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=462781662844#!/video/video.php?v=462781662844
I thought this movie took an amazing, mind-blowing concept and then dropped the ball with it. I realize this is going to scandalize some people on my friends' list, but throughout the whole thing I was overwhelmed with how shared dreaming and layers of consciousness are just such badass concepts to stick in a film, and it was totally unrealistic and overly Hollywood the way it was executed. Examples of what I mean ( Are Behind the Cut, and rife with spoilers )
South Florida Pediatric Dentists:
Dr Smitely at Main Street Smiles is amazing. Jake had a filling and an extraction last Tuesday and I sat in the room for it, and was so impressed. She is friendly and sing-songy to the kids, and does so many "extra" things - she kept all the scary instruments covered at all times, put sunglasses on him to block the harsh light from his eyes, and let him pick the color of his nitrous nosebulb to match his crocs. He was watching Ice Age as she went about her business, and because of how well she numbed his gums with gel first and came in from below at an angle, he never knew she was giving him novacaine shots. Or saw the syringe. It was so good.

She explained every single thing to him in a kid-friendly way before she did it - letting him feel the cleaner and the vaccum on his finger before she put them in his mouth, talking the whole time to him about what was going on. She also seemed to understand that he was ignoring her sometimes in a very obvious, conscious way as a coping mechanism. There were about 3 minutes during the filling when he started to freak a little just because there was SO MUCH in his mouth...but then that passed and he was alright again. The extraction part was like nothing, he was totally cool for that.
He got to pick two treasures and two stickers afterward, and she gave him his tooth in a tiny treasure box that we could take home and put under his pillow.
We let him eat all the ice cream (which turned out to be the entire half gallon box), yogurt (a 6 pack) and applesauce he wanted the rest of the day and he's looking forward to going back in a couple of weeks to get the other side of his mouth done.
HIGHLY RECOMMENDED!
JUMP's Broadway Finale show at the Hammerstein Ballroom
IT WAS SO BADASS! I was thinking, ok, this isn't really gonna be a Broadway show, it's gonna be a kids' dance show that just happens to be on Broadway. And I was wrong. Anyway JUMP posted the opening number in a video on facebook that I wanted to share. This is all the JUMP National VIPs for 2010 and please keep in mind that this is something they choreographed and rehearsed completely during the ONE WEEK we were all in NYC for the event!
http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=462781662844#!/video/video.php?v=462781662844