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Jakey playing with Tom. This is mostly where my yarn has gone, lately.



Tonight, Jake stopped me from reading to him to ask why I have a nose ring. "Is it just because you like it? That's the only reason?" I said yes, and he said, "So what about those metal things on Robby's teeth? Are those because he likes the way they look, or is it to keep them all from falling out?" We talked about braces.


Most enormous 7 year old, ever.

He made a picnic for Isaac, Elise and himself, and I found them out there like this:


That is Isaac's attempt at NOT having a big fake smile. Painful.

Sometimes they make it a little too easy for me to have personal and existential crises while they do their own thing. I always find them with scrabble out on the floor, or all five gathered around a giant drawing pad, with colored pencils or something, and basically go, "well, clearly periodic neglect is working best and I need to stick with that."

Elise has been demonstrating a lot of the sort of higher level thinking that makes me really happy, coming from her. For instance, the other day it was just she and I in the line at Pollo Tropical and after a minute of quiet she asked, "Do you think the people who work here like their jobs?" She finds things outside, like tiny baby spiders or a blue jay on the fence, and runs in to grab brothers and drag them out to see.

She also has a somewhat distinct fashion sense.


And is great at K'Nex accessorizing.


And UNO.

These pictures are actually from different days. She really loves that outfit.

And, she's so photogenic!

This picture made me laugh so much. HORRIBLE! She was not expecting the flash.

She'll be 6 on May 1. Six, my baby, my beastie. It's APRIL of 2013. There is so much about time that I just do not understand, lately.

Like how the fuck do these hats still fit?



I mean, honestly, is it just me or is that kind of weird?

My big half-hour-long, one on one talks with them, lately, have focused on things like which drugs are not safe to ever experiment with even once vs things that people can actually experiment with and then move on with their lives. Aaron is and has always been SO intrigued by drugs, it kinda terrifies me. He is not a kid who will even listen to blanket judgments on things he's curious about or that authority will matter much to if he has opportunities to do what he wants. I have to give him information that actually makes him think, if I hope to have any effect at all on his behavior down the line - how pills are often unlabeled and many other drugs are made in peoples' kitchens (by drug dealers...) and so you can't really trust what it all is much of the time, and interactions, and overdoses, and addiction and legal trouble and good grief. We've had so many drug talks, focusing on everything from the Mexican drug cartels to Aunt Mindy and my friend David. Date rape, drunk driving, "bad trips" - I really love the way we talk, though...even if he's looking the other way or blushing he always asks me about things. I don't know if it's SID or just him (one in the same beyond a certain point) but he has no boundaries, about fears or development or anything. He made me painstakingly explain what "That's what she said" meant over the summer when he overheard it at music camp, while Annie stood by with her palm to her forehead, exasperated with him. I love him a lot.

Ananda acts super nonchalant when we talk and only lets on that she wants to hear anything I have to say by seeking me out anytime I'm talking to anyone, and not interrupting or changing the subject, even when there are lulls. If she asks a question it's in the most ridiculous, COMPLETELY CASUAL way possible - like the other day when she asked me what a clit is. We watched Juno together last night, and it actually made me cry at the end to see this teenager with a baby, with her watching it, too.

Last week she needed a band-aid. I was making a smoothie and watching her struggle, like, "Mom, I need a band-aid for this...._____" After a minute of her silently struggling I was like, "Oh just say owie, honestly" and she burst out laughing and we laughed together. She was like, "you know the only synonym for OWIE is - " and we said "Boo-Boo" in unison. "Injury" sounds like Aaron breaking a bone to both of us, so she just does not know a more sophisticated wound-like term :p

Heading out to the skating rink just for fun, with her derby team:


We've been overdue for new chicks for a few months now, and have kept putting the kids off when they ask about it. So these were in their Easter baskets:

They were thrilled. We gave them to the littles first since A&A were on to us (we made them sit down in the library and wait for their baskets, and locked up all the cats, and chicks make noise). Elise and Jake instantly flipped, they just started glowing and gushing, but Isaac was like, "Wait what is that? WHOA it's ALIVE?" Baby chicks are such a THING in the early weeks, in the house with their heat lamp - it seems like we're changing their newspaper and scrubbing their filthy water dish every two hours.


I keep thinking of cool things that have happened that I don't want to just let slip away, and never archive.

Like going and spending the day with Nancy, in February. We ate lunch out and then spent about 6 hours in her hotel room. First of all, let me just say, this woman is something to aspire to - in the last year she's been in couples therapy with her boyfriend, buying her clothes off of Etsy, moved into a new condo, attending births fulltime, speaking at conferences, catered her son's wedding, worked on her latest book, and had a month in Italy...and she's almost 70.

These are her silly laptop key stickers, and the dress she had just gotten for a wedding that Saturday.


And this is her sitting on the bed next to me, ordering 10 copies of my book and working on an Amazon review that had us both in tears (she read it last year, when it was a file on my computer).

She says she's ordering another 10 soon, and it's what everyone is getting for Christmas. It was really wonderful. She's my friend, but it still makes up for some of what I just do not get from my parents. I didn't really realize that I was missing that, until I watched her choose every word so carefully and fill her cart up.


Also, I went with my friends Gloria and LJ - with Annie - and saw the Indigo Girls at the Culture Room in Ft Lauderdale. I wore my new red dress.

With black tights, not shown.

And Ananda actually got asked at the door if she was going to be drinking, for wristband purposes. This is basically the crowning achievement of her entire life, in her mind, I think.

She ended up having a really good time and raving about it - these pics are from the lackluster opening act's set. Once the IG were up she could sing along with half of what they played, as things she's heard since she was BORN, and the energy just improved significantly.

That venue is TIIIINY. And it was packed. We were about 5 people back from the stage.


We had a lot of super tough and buff bear/leather daddy type guys in front of us, and at one point I told Annie, "I'll bet you've never seen so many muscular, tattoo'd bald guys dancing around happily making out with each other before" and she laughed a lot.

Tiny clip.

Afterward Gloria took us all to the Peter Pan Lounge, where LJ fell asleep on the table and we ate really good omelettes. I've never been anywhere else that has a TEN PAGE menu after midnight on a Tuesday. As far as I could tell the place was completely filled with gay couples, us, and a HUGE group of nerds taking up the whole center of the restaurant playing Dungeons and Dragons. Because Ft Lauderdale is awesome, and we should move there ASAP.


About a month ago I went to a roller derby match with Gloria and LJ, for Gloria's birthday. I hit the liquor store for her present, and then texted her a picture of her gift when I was done, titled, "I crocheted you something special."

That thing is actually awesome, I made it such that it can come off and go on other bottles pretty easily.

Gloria posing with part of our team and another friend, and a match shot:



Saturday, I spent the afternoon at my friend Kathy's house, FINALLY meeting her "new" (basically 4 months old) baby. Look at this beautiful little girl-chub!


And I am such a ninny, that I basically went, "Aww, your baby is adora- WHOA LOOK AT YOUR DIAPERS WOW ARE THOSE GOODMAMAS WHAT ELSE HAVE YOU GOT I'LL LINK YOU TO MY OLD STASH PICS ON LJ ASAP"

I mean...that is an Edgar Allen Poe diaper, people.
By the way, Kathy, I did find that old post: This is from when I was pregnant with Jake, and I sound like a complete lunatic


Aaaaaanyway, moving on to some more random pics...

This is how I look when I'm really, unbearably tired.


But this is how my I'M SO TIRED texts to my husband look.


Aaaaand this is what happens anytime I brush my hair.

The really scary part is that I used to brush it way, way more frequently.


Can you believe I caught Isaac blowing on the tower he was hiding his face behind, during my turn?? So dirty.

An adorable little screech owl Grant and I saw on a walk last night...

He was very patient and curious with us, as Grant adjusted the flash and angle and we kept coming closer.

How I spend my Thursday afternoons, at PATH...


Late night at the Falls, trying out the front acing camera on my phone.


My husband looking especially dashing one night.


He was very adamant that I respond to the "gay" questions on that entry two posts down, and on tumblr, saying, "If I end up single, the ladies need to know." Sometimes we talk and it's easy, even funny. Sometimes it's absolutely horrible. Mostly a little of both.