Life's been good to me so far

After a long stall in my weight loss, during which my hernia grew and my back pain increased and my eagerness to get in the freaking OR started to actually exist... I somehow felt incapable of (and/or uninterested in) putting any limitations on my eating. Too anxious about school, too sleep deprived to deal with any form of diet, too many roadtrips and whole days out of the house and too many priorities all around to make this tired issue another one.

The point is, I realized it sounded doable out of all the options, so I've went flour-free again. This is day 6, I believe, and the process has followed the same pattern I've experienced before - I get really depressed around day 3, less so on day 4, and then that part is mostly over. I feel way less bloated and experience less of the constant stomach discomfort I generally experience otherwise. I am hungry more often, and eat more overall. And, I lose at least half a pound every day, regardless of how I glut myself on meats, dairy, sugar, etc (in addition to produce, I mean, but nobody would expect produce to inhibit weight loss). I tend to feel way more flexible and comfortable when I haven't had glutinous things in awhile, and then I realize how used to feeling sluggish and hurting in ways that make me more sedentary I often am. It's also not hard at all, to just not eat the stuff. Considering how difficult most dietary restrictions are for me, that's pretty significant. Usually between 10-15 pounds down the effortless weight loss stops and I have to try in other ways, for that, though it is easier than it would be since floury shit is a lot of weight watchers points and I don't mind exercising as much when I'm not bloated all the time.

I was trying to figure out why I went back to eating flour last time, after about 5-6 months off that left me thinner and more energetic, and then I remembered - I was on vacation with Grant, just the two of us. We discovered a fabulous local farmer's market near our hotel, with fresh loaves of french bread, fresh mozzarella from some small farm, fresh organic herbs, heirloom tomatoes, artisinal salami, and great wine. It all seemed so wholesome and natural and irresistable, and it was a special occasion, so we bought it all and had it for lunch in the park, and then as a picnic dinner in the hotel room later.

And then, legit, it was NOT ROMANTIC AT ALL when I was in terrible pain and could barely button my pants, for the next 3 days. Also not romantic spending way too long in the bathroom over and over. But I had already messed up my system, so when we went to my friend Kristin's house up there and she started cooking me homemade pies and putting eggs and avocado on toast I went with it. By the time I got home from that trip, I was already getting used to my old-normal level of gastric discomfort, using the bathroom way less regularly, and regaining weight.

Then, in my quest to figure out pernicious anemia, my gastro tested me for celiac and I didn't have it, and some scientific articles came out that said the gluten free craze was a placebo-esque fad and I basically said, "oh, fuck it. Hand me a brownie."

Well. Whatever. This is very clearly a real and significant improvement, and if it's just a leap in the nutrient density of everything I eat and a reduction in empty carbs, so be it. If gluten really is an inflammatory substance that contributes to the horror show that is my leaky gut, well, I've got my bases covered.

Anyway, food related: I've been making frittatas 3-5 times per week, lately. I wilt a bunch of baby kale and spinach in irish butter, get it out of the pan, spray the pan (I don't have anything nonstick so this is necessary), put in a mix of 10 beaten eggs, almond milk, salt, fresh basil leaves, and tons of good shaved parmesan. Dump/spread all the wilted greens back in. Put more basil and parm on top. Move to the preheated oven til it's cooked through. Cut and serve with a pizza cutter. SO good. Ananda, Aaron, and Jake love it and tear it up every time. Isaac will eat a piece in a pinch. I tend to set it out for everyone with a lot of cut and salted tomatoes and avocados, knowing that is the only part Elise is ever interested in. Along with a huge freezer bag of belgium waffles from the last time we intentionally made way too much so they could be toasted as needed, greek yogurt, leftovers from whatever we most recently had for dinner, and a neverending stream of clementines and blueberries, this is what my kids subsist on until dinner every day.

Dinner tonight was Grant's creamy potato leek soup, which is really fucking good, but as he made some jazzed up cheesy herb bread for everyone else and I'm not eating bread I browned mushrooms and steamed/buttered broccoli, to throw in my bowl(s). Yum. I also ate a bunch of riesen while they had milano cookies. I'm telling you, this is really not hard ;)

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My day was great!
-Last night I met Kathy and her kids at Laura's, and we all had dinner/talked/generally hung out until late, when I returned home and watched shows and ate things with Annie until way too late, and it was all without consequence becaaaaause...
-Grant took Elise to Girl Scout Camp this morning so I could sleep in. She loves it there and does great stuff like swim, hike, craft, and sing songs all day, so I don't feel guilty at all watching Stats lecture videos, washing dishes, and watering/pruning plants for most of the afternoon after sleeping the morning away. She is the needy, energetic, more chronically bored child when home, who feels like she's really suffered if 10 minutes have passed entertaining herself, and the three little kids just bicker a lot when they're all here without structure and then tell on each other constantly. Her being at camp has made the days seem SO simple. Jake and Isaac just read their latest library books, play Minecraft, and build with Legos the whole day. They also took a walk and got some starfruit from one of our neighbors that is always giving us excess fruit off of his trees. I think Isaac + Elise is the killer combo, because usually Jake can get along fine with either of them for extended periods. And, picking her up is fun because she's exuberant and bouncy and full of stories about how amazing and wonderful camp was.
-I took the time to notice how pampered and generally blessed I am that I can do things like decide on a whim to go browse around one of my favorite stores for awhile, and swing by somewhere to pick up a few groceries on the way home from grabbing Elise. I also generally enjoy it a lot when Grant's working from home and I can take the car wherever I have to go, because it has air conditioning (moment of respect; this is serious - AIR. CONDITIONING.) and I'm just so over the van.
-SEX. Finally. So much better.
-Reading to the littles was fun at bedtime. I read Elise The Wolves in the Walls by Neil Gaiman, which I'd actually never read before even though we've had it here for years. She was almost absurdly into it. I should take video of her some time, she is truly hilarious. Jake and I are to the Department of Mysteries in The Order of the Phoenix, which means Shit Is Getting Real but also that's just a fascinating chapter as they move between all the rooms full of bizarre experimental magic. Isaac and I have started The Magician's Nephew, aka Narnia #1, and he is talking me into extra pages every time because (BWAHAHAHA) despite his concerns that they were going to be "kind of boring and dumb" he's been totally sucked in from the first night.
-I sat down with the big wall calendar and wrote all over it, and there is just something cathartic about putting it all down where everyone can see and feeling like I've got something under control.
-Jake finally agreed that I could trim his bangs, so he has eyes again.

My day was kind of awful!
-I'm really worried about Aaron. This is every day, as he's seemed chemically depressed for a long time, and before we figured out it was depression I thought he had some kind of chronic illness and was taking him from doctor to doctor because he gives himself tons of seemingly medical symptoms (periodic low grade fever, frequent swollen glands, stomach aches, headaches) with his misery. But every non-mental possibility has been ruled out. He is totally against therapy or medication and we've been skating a line that makes me feel obligated to force him against his will for a year or more, now. We talk about it increasingly often, even though I am normally dead against forcing anyone into talk therapy because that seems pointlessly ineffective. At 14, I also feel like he has a real say in the meds decision... He does everything you're "supposed" to do - go out in the sunshine, drag himself around to exercise, stick with things like dance and join roller derby even though he's sometimes loathing them because he knows exercise is important. He seeks social interaction and will sometimes just write everything he's thinking and feeling down, so that's good. He still likes talking with Grant and with me (about things other than his misery, which he never wants to talk about) and doing things with us. I struggle to get him to take every supplement ever shown to combat depression (probiotics, fish oil, folic acid). But...he cries randomly all the time, often at the drop of a hat, sometimes for long periods. Like there are never more than a few hours between his crying spells. He can't sleep at night. He feels and looks very, very, very sad almost all the time. The heaviness just radiates off of him in waves. Ananda has found ways to make fun of him for it that make him laugh in spite of himself, and Isaac and Jake tiptoe where they used to irritate him in little brother ways because they're actually worried about him. His girlfriend broke up with him and that set off this latest crescendo, but it's been over a month straight of this now, and he was also like this before that relationship (which really only existed via texting and only for like 2 months, not that 2 months of texting and a few hugs in the hallways don't matter when you're in 8th grade), too. Crying in classes at school. He's never mentioned anything suicidal but I really don't think he would, either. I waver constantly between thinking he'll be ok, he still has interests and hobbies and gets excited about some things, still smiles and laughs every day as well, he's a teenager...and thinking, fuck, should I like him checked in somewhere? I mean that's crazy and way too drastic, right? I've talked to my therapist about Aaron, and to Isaac's. They agree it's subjective and basically tell me stuff I already know (keep the lines of communication open, encourage him to blah blah blah, try framing x and y this way or that way). He's going to start dance intensives soon so he'll at least be having a better sleep schedule and more structure enforced, as I don't think this lounging and wandering sort of summer he's having is really doing him any favors.
-I have a deep crack on the outside of my left heel that's SO PAINFUL every time I step with that foot. I'm favoring it like crazy. I've ped-egg'd and buffed it down twice, and keep slathering it in lotion, but it's terrible. I toe walk on that side and limp around, when home. I grimace and walk normally out places. That foot is just a damn mess, I broke a toe last year and never went in for it and I think it healed badly. Ever since I have all sorts of stupid issues, a strange little new bump here and a really tender spot there. I suppose at some point I'm going to have to buckle down and go to a podiatrist but the thought of seeking out a new specialist and making more appointments for myself (I already get a b-12 shot and go to counseling every week, in addition to all the kid things I cart people to) is so unappealing that I'd honestly rather just limp and hope, for now at least.
-Also sat down with the budget today, after getting a bill from Isaac's psych and just...GAAAAH. So many extra things all piling up at once :/
-I'm basically ignoring texts from some of my favorite people because I just don't want to start a catch up conversation right now.

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Ananda came to me out of nowhere and asked if she can be homeschooled again and start dual enrollment at the college this fall. There are so many pros and cons involved. We've had two talks now, and I've hashed it out a bit with Grant. She's not 100% sure that's what she wants, and I'm not 100% sure I'm willing to do it, but it's looking like a possibility. She has places she wants to volunteer, and has spent a lot of time this summer with homeschooled friends who did/are doing dual enrollment. It will be a massive logistical pain in the ass for me if it goes this way, as homeschooled high schoolers who want real diplomas have to have real transcripts detailing every credit they complete, and must earn traditional grades that get averaged - otherwise, you can basically take the GED whenever you want. Between that and my not really knowing all the ins and outs of dual enrollment (credit minimums and maximums, what you have to fill out for the financial vouchers, who at the county approves it all, etc) it's fairly tedious before we get into things like me NOT wanting to have it out with her about completing work for me again, as I've gotten spoiled on that being between her and other teachers - and she "performs" for her teachers and does well as though there's no other option, unlike the endless procrastination and whining it started to be with me towards the end. And, it would mean acquiring outside help teaching her higher maths, when she has a great math teacher at her school, and that we'll be adding extra variables to daily life in the form of places she must physically get to regularly that other people aren't already going to.

I try very hard not to let things like "what is more convenient for me" play in to our choices for them. I'm not sure this is best for her on a purely "about her" level either, though. She LOVES her art teacher at school and the things she learns in his class, for instance, and the week of sleep away camp they do, and has a whole squad there that energizes her. I keep wondering how much of this is about relatively dumb shit, in the grand scheme of things, like not wanting to start getting up really early every day again, or enjoying having her hair dyed crazy colors for a couple of months and not wanting to switch back. Mostly when we talk it seems to be about a desire to have a diploma and AA sooner than she otherwise could, which, you know, why? Slow down. Enjoy your damn youth. Except that, obviously, nobody can learn to do that without hindsight. We have to decide before it's time to buy all the back to school stuff.

This makes about 12 filling bowls of soup that run about 9 Weight Watchers points apiece.

Ingredients:

-about 6 tablespoons of really good butter - spring for Kerrygold, it's worth it!
-a leek/big yellow onion/shallot (whatever you've got)
-5ish cloves of garlic
-4-5 carrots
-5ish potatoes
-some kind of sausage - I used artichoke parmesan chicken sausage, italian would be good, whatever
-about 6 cups of raw kale (it wilts down SO MUCH it's barely present by the end)
-couple of diced roma tomatoes (or one big one)
-3ish cans of beans - I used cannellini and small red beans
-10 cups of chicken broth
-water, if you feel like it (see Method)
-about 1/2 cup of white wine
-cup of cream
-salt and pepper to taste

Method:

I put my leek, garlic and carrots in the butter to sautee until they started to caramelize. Then deglazed with the wine, added the potatoes, threw in enough of the broth for them to basically braise in covered for a few minutes. At this point I was cooking sausages on the George Foreman - they could also be pan fried or just cooked in the soup, but I was taking Annie's portion out before I added meat to the pot. Following the potatoes, kale went in, and once that was about half wilted, the rest of the broth and the beans. I ended up adding about 3 cups of water somewhere in here, which worked out well. I finished the soup (off the heat) with the tomatoes, cream, salt and pepper.

I had it with the same wine I used in the soup, which happened to be this one but, you know, it probably doesn't matter which you use beyond not pouring pure vinegar in.

Everybody loved it. We had a (somewhat sophisticated, foodie of a) teenage dinner guest, but everybody in my family tore it up. I think Jake actually had fourths, but he was using a pretty small bowl :)

I baked this cake, yesterday, for Shaun's birthday. I multiplied the recipe by 1.5, because I was using 9" spring form pans and had a lot of people here. I only keep turbinado/raw sugar in the house, mainly because I way prefer the slightly more maple-y taste and like thinking it's less processed on some ephemeral, unscientific level, so that is what I'm always using in all baked goods I reference. I subbed almond milk for buttermilk, which is also pretty standard around here, and grass fed irish butter for vegetable oil because yum, but also because I've read enough about causes of inflammation to not ever buy vegetable oil again as long as I live. Re: various forums around the internet, I melted the butter before I put it in.

Overall it's a really easy recipe (put all the dry ingredients in the mixer, mix them, then add all the wet ingredients slowly as you mix, then bake). I just used my standard "wingin' it" chocolate frosting (powdered sugar, cocoa powder, soft butter, vanilla extract, added in what look like the right proportions until it's frosting). I typically have a really thin layer of frosting compared to what other people are into - I'm totally grossed out by bakery frosting layers. A really thin layer of buttercream was pretty perfect for this.

It was SO GOOD. Really really good. Grant is the kind of person who usually thinks most homemade cakes are too dense/heavy, and he loved it. A couple of my kids can think things are too chocolatey (I know, I know, I've failed them utterly), and they loved it. Ananda and I want everything to be INTENSELY, darkly chocolate, and as rich as possible, and we loved it. Laura's picky kids and Shaun's health conscious girlfriend loved it! Clearly, most importantly, Shaun loved it, and took home an awful lot. This is going to enter my rotation of go-to birthday cakes.

I was really going to do the New Years pics, but then I was thinking I never posted Christmas pics, and I've just made so many yummy things this week that it started me looking back at other yummy things...I'm sure you get the idea :)

( Best of eatin' in late November, December and early January )

I realized last night that we were relatively light (for us) on savory options - apparently, I've basically been planning a booze and dessert menu for the past two weeks. Somehow, I doubt anyone would mind that.

Anyway I am throwing together a couple of last minute, additional savory things, since I realized, such as a mushroom and sage stuffing and roasting the Neville Squash we've had on the counter all week. I had actually NOT EVEN CONSIDERED stuffing?!

So now, dinner will be:

-turkey, brined and roasted a la Alton Brown, which is really the only way I make turkey
-garlic mashed potatoes
-gravy, also a la Alton, like this
-sweet potato casserole
-green bean casserole that I've made with actual Julia Child, from scratch cream of mushroom soup this year :)
-mushroom and sage stuffing
-roasted butternut squash (I do it with a lot of butter and salt and pepper, and a tiny bit of brown sugar)
-baked brie with cranberries, pecans and honey, served with gluten free crackers
-cranberry sauce (I have a vat of it, albeit not a full on cauldron like last year)
-rolls from Knaus Berry Farm
-and Gloria's bringing these amazing brussels sprouts I adore

Drinks:

-Ananda's iced tea
-sparkling grape juice galore
-various hard ciders
-4 different kinds of wine

Desserts:

-Clementine Cakes
-raspberry and coconut macaroons
-warm pumpkin puddings ^<--All 3 (gluten free!) recipes easy to find via Smitten Kitchen with fresh whipped cream
-Knaus cinnamon rolls, that Grant and the kids stood in line for 2.5 hours to get yesterday


My house is not as clean as I wanted it to be, but it is much cleaner than it was last week and I am just not gonna worry about it beyond that. My Dad got here last night, and we stayed up telling stories while I cooked things until about 5am. Luckily I was still the one waking up all the kids at 11 (they'd stayed up with us til about 2). My nocturnal father is still sleeping :) We're planning to actually eat at around 6, so obviously the big thing to do for now was BLOG ABOUT FOOD, because Mmmmmm. It's nice, the kids are outside playing and all the doors are open with lots of wind chime noise.

I am also trying to suspend my disbelief about eating some gluten, because, you know, I have to before I go get more tests done next week. *shrug*

It's really *gag* SUMMER, now. I have to keep all my windows and doors closed again, FOR MONTHS, and worry that our chickens will die if they don't have water in the afternoon, and avoid fun outdoor activities completely between 11-3 so nobody gets burnt to a crisp by accident just playing in the yard. There are flies and mosquitoes and gnats everywhere (although to be fair, also dragonflies, purple martins and lightning bugs at night). To make this bitter pill extra hard to choke down, our van AC is not working O_O E-freakin-gads. We have missed our chance, at livable camping! I took Jake and Elise with me to get Isaac from school this afternoon and all three of them arrived home red faced and collapsed with shocked looks on their faces. I went around to each of them in turn and made them drink big cups of water. It felt like keeping my plants from shrivelling away!

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A tumblr post on wage disparity between the sexes had commentary below it about how women are PARTIALLY held back naturally, by their own choice to prioritize childrearing over climbing corporate ladders; I agree with this for the most part (and think women are free to choose whatever they want). I think, though, that the tiny tiny amount of female executives doesn't match up very well with the growing numbers of childless, educated women in the workforce. I keep wondering whether anyone is officially quantifying what I see anecdotally... because what I see is a greater prevalence of LARGE families, and a greater prevalence of childless and childfree people, but less and less of the "average" 2.whatever kids per household. Maybe this is just me?

I started mentally adding up all the women I know without kids, and realized it's a big number. It's definitely MOST women I know. Lots of women in my life (feel free to skim or skip the list), like...

-all the early 20s college students I met at my FIU orientation yesterday, and talked with about our lives
-the 20+ member adult roller derby team, -2 that have kids, all 25-35
-my friends Jenny, Angie and Courtney, from teen camps, who I keep in touch with (all early 30s) along with some faces I see on facebook in similar age ranges from camp who are friends of friends
-my good friend Jess from high school, along with at least a dozen nameable acquaintances from those days in school
-my x-step-aunt Joan (40something) and my actual Aunt Michelle (50)
-my former nanny turned friend (a nanny and doula), Gloria (3...6? I think?)
-literally every rotating NICU nurse we had at 3 different hospitals O_o I think this is a weird demographic thing
-my two favorite PATH Moms' sisters (both in their 50s) and my good friend Kristin's sister, Keegan (33)
-my first english professor; this 40+ woman who was a counselor when G and I were in school and is now a fb friend; one of his middle aged female coworkers; the waittress we had on our anniversary date; the trainer at the gym where my sister worked; Alex - this list could just go on for a very long time if I kept trying to include everyone, is the point.

When I think of families I know, online and IRL, I can think of a few examples with three kids, quite a lot with four, another fiver like us, and a handful in the "really big" category (6-12). Of the ones with three, one lost a child tragically and another couple are still aspiring to many many kids but just aren't there yet. Racking my brain for examples of two child families I come up with absolutely nobody, although I did remember that I know/know of at least half a dozen with singletons.

I now regrettfully inform you I am not getting to a point. Just thinking "out loud." Please forgive me :p

( Pictures are exciting, right? Food! And, our anniversary! )

For the past 48 hours or so, I've been totally out of butter and milk but had tons and tons of greek yogurt (like way too much). So, I've been doing research and experimentation. So far, I've made:

-scrambled eggs with tablespoons of greek yogurt stirred in after the first minute of cooking - they came out great (I put in some herby Mrs Dash and salt, too, when I beat the eggs)

-an Alton Brown carrot cake that calls for yogurt and oil (and I actually made cream cheese frosting without butter, too - just whipped the room temperature cream cheese with some vanilla extract and lots of powdered sugar, and threw in some shredded coconut I had in the fridge at the last moment). It isn't the best carrot cake we've ever had, but everyone likes it and it's definitely getting eaten

-cheese biscuits. There are easily google-able 3 ingredient yogurt biscuit recipes all over (though they're more like 6 ingredients for me because I had to mix up my own "self rising flour"). I just shredded some good cheddar into the dough, which is how I magically turn any biscuit recipe into a cheese biscuit recipe ;) Incidentally, those were to go along with this DRY ROASTED <--O_O chicken recipe that gets stellar reviews all over: http://1tsplove.blogspot.com/2011/07/thomas-kellers-roast-chicken.html I normally use almost a whole stick of butter to roast a chicken, between what I put under the skin and in the cavity and what I leave on top

Next: Nigella's lemon yoghurt cake, which I've made before and know we like :) I have it in her Domestic Goddess book but I'm sure it's all over the web. I think that will be for tea tomorrow.

For lunch, tomorrow, I'm making a variation on an old curried chickpea thing I've done a lot of times that adds in condensed cream soup and tomatoes. It's a little scary, but well reviewed, and I have gross canned leftovers from the holidays ;)


Before I started to see the weird surplus of things in our fridge and cabinets that we were allowing to equal "there's nothing to eat!" - when I was well stocked with that surface layer of food that gets eaten first after a trip to the store - I made Julia Child's french omelettes for the first time and THEY WERE EPIC. Omelette is, clearly, a french word, but basically a "french omelette" is just an omelette cooked briefly at high temperatures in a lot of butter, rather than for awhile at medium temperatures on, you know, PAM or something. I upped the ante by seasoning them with herbs and filling them with brie and mushrooms I'd pre-browned. Ananda, Jake and I each tore one up, and I used the same basic formula to make "french scrambled eggs" for Aaron and Isaac (Elise claims to hate eggs for the last few months).

Today turned out not to be a total bust, despite my being a bleary eyed mess and then taking a necessary nap.

The little kids got to camp, breakfast eaten, lunches packed, wearing clean clothes, and with instruments and folders in tow.

I mailed belated birthday cards to my Nana and brother, and a postcard to my friend who is still waiting on the Epic-est Letter of all Time. This was all bleary eyed. Then nap.

Then Aaron and I had about an hour and a half of really good, continuing talk about ideas that just keep stringing together...the other night this began with a discussion on the Anais Nin quote, "We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are", along with the concept of curiosity before judgement. Today this somehow led into the placebo effect, and self fulfilling prophecies, and finally the evolution in how our culture handles dead bodies and the myriad options open to people for what they wish to be done with their own bodies (which Ananda joined us for).

This was also the 6th time in the last few months that I've made contact with Dr Geraldi re: Aaron's persistently swollen glands and constant low level sickness. We just talked today; there have been 3 office visits and other phone conversations. He's referring us out to infectious disease at Miami Children's Hospital - doc is thinking mono, which makes an awful lot of sense and could conceivably have been picked up during some kind of gross sharing of wind instruments (Aaron plays flute with GMYS).

Several emails later, the chair of math is going to be working out my Statistics grade at the beginning of the fall semester, so I signed up to take the class again just in case. He sounds like he'll have the situation worked out to where my grade is raised and I can drop the repeat class in the first week without penalty, but it will be there in case. My understanding is that my teacher is impossible to reach on vacation or something.

I need a different book for that repeat course, so I went and sold my old one back.

I also talked to someone at Florida Virtual Schools about the forms I have to turn in for Ananda and Aaron as homeschoolers, and to someone at the charter school about the uniforms Isaac and Elise need.

And I had a really fabulous lunch, involving french bread I browned in a pan of melted butter, bacon, avocado and tomato. Please feel free to peruse Ananda's and my fabulous dinner from last night, here (pictures are clickable, albeit camera phone quality), and the ridiculously fulfilling splendour that is my bathroom, here. It's the little things ;)

Grant is out of state for work and, as usual, I find my web activity expands without another adult about the place in the evenings.

Last night I did have a half hour talk in our front yard with our (very, very nice) plumber neighbor, about the small leak that persists despite all he's done...somewhere (based on the meter continuing to spin). He'll be back some evening this week to investigate further, which has given me the opportunity to clear a path through our laundry room to the water heater.

And, Ananda and I watched Julie and Julia last night, after everyone else was in bed, which was inspired in part by these drool-worthy and luscious tumblr posts:
Boef Bourgignon
Chocolate Mousse
French Onion Soup

Hence, our dinner.

I've already decided Julia's old PBS shows (along with Carl Sagan's Cosmos) are gonna be part of our homeschool year - AND DID YOU KNOW that Cosmos is coming back on the air, but will now be hosted by Neil deGrasse Tyson??

This is getting disjointed, but it's cool to me to think of these Food Network kids seeing how it all started.

I will leave you now with two great videos from these wonderful little boys, who are growing and changing so much and are really not so "little" at all anymore.

Jake "cooking" last week - could use some editing, but I was impressed. It was one shot, no input from me, his idea. He's kind of a natural:


Isaac playing the recorder very well, albeit for just a short while, this afternoon:

He's getting ready for the performance at the end of their camp in a couple of days :)

I am working on a creamy mushroom soup that is ultra-healthy, vegan, etc. So far what I've put in the stock pot is:

-2 yellow onions
-red and orange bell peppers
-many cloves of garlic
-3 cans of chickpeas
-a can of black beans (both drained)

All pureed in the magic bullet with small amounts of water added to each run-through. I'm filling the pot up the rest of the way with chicken broth after all that boils for a few minutes and then simmers for a bit. Then I'm adding tons and tons of mushrooms and cooking it just a bit. Then I'm eating it.

I'll report back.

Yesterday I took Annie with me to class. Everyone assumed she was like 17, including the 16 year old there for dual enrollment. She sat behind me and continued with the book she's writing while I took my final, and then I took her and her duffle bag up to Cybele's where she staying for 4 days. She, Adrian and Sophia want to get their Future City project ready for submission later this month. I was like, did you remember your iPod and book (because she needs them when she can't sleep and everyone else is out)? And your deodorant (because she has serious BO now and doesn't always remember)? And x, y and z? She said, "I even accounted for the crazy weather Mom, I have a bathingsuit and a sweater." They're going to see the toned down, PG-13 live showing of Avenue Q on Tuesday, before meeting us at TLC.

As I left, her and Adrian were walking off down the street after their family dog that always escapes. Adrian is now taller than me, and she's like an inch shy of my height. And totally at ease, talking and laughing and gesturing.

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Grant gave blood for the first time last weekend. I think about giving blood a lot because I received a life saving transfusion in 2007. I figure I should wait until Elise is weaned and make sure it's nowhere near my already-dangerous periods if I do. Apparently I'm also prohibited because I got a piercing in the past year, AND because of said transfusion. The guy said if I had a rare blood type they sometimes overlook transfusions due to need, but I'm AB+.

I don't get this. I really don't. 1. They test the damned blood. 2. There is a blood shortage. 3. The dude even told me they give HIV+ blood to HIV+ people, so there is a need for all blood. I mean...(re: the questionnaire) NO GAY MEN CAN EVER GIVE BLOOD?!?! I am straight up horrified by this. No pun intended :p Truly what is that even about? How can that stand? This is not 1985. I mean, why can women who have had sex with men who have been who knows where give blood, but not men? Peoples lives are at stake, here. This is gross. As a person who would have died without donated blood, it's just gross.

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I was thinking about Ananda's various dyslexic "breakthroughs". Based on my reading and my observation of her, I think she is pretty severely dyslexic. She had the speech delays, the stuttering, selective mutism with trauma - words have just not naturally been a part of her thought process at all. And her extreme intelligence and artistic abilities - I think she's traditionally moved things around, mentally, for understanding A LOT. But there have been all these sudden, relatively spontaneous breakthroughs. When she could suddenly read (WELL) at 8. About a year and a half ago she quit writing numerals backwards, which was huge. About 6 months later, place values stopped being hard for her (that had seemed insurmountable for awhile!). For the past 6 months, she doesn't hate writing anymore. She writes A LOT - her creative writing assignments but also secret diary entries and stories she writes for herself and this book she's doing. It's crazy to behold...she writes with a very impressive vocabulary, clever phrasing, good ideas, and NO SPELLING ABILITY WHATSOEVER. A sample:

"She had ben wighting for a fish to come clos enof to cech for awal." (she had been waiting for a fish to come close enough to catch for awhile)

I don't do any correcting of her creative or independent writing (she does have grammar assignments that get corrected, and she understands that her spelling is crazy). I'm just astounded that she's doing it voluntarily. Sometimes pages and pages in a day. It's ridiculous when she's texting - "How do you spell 'was'? 'Will'? What about 'later'?" From the girl who's burned through The Hunger Games at about a book per day.

I feel very, very good about choosing to homeschool her and how she's doing.

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Gloria and LJ came by last night. We threw together a pretty fucking awesome impromptu dinner for company - Grant tenderized and marinated skirt steak and chopped a giant bowl of pico de gallo while the grill heated up. He made a REALLY GOOD pitcher of sangria* for the grownups and I made a big jug of Arnold Palmer** for the kids.

I don't know if it's previously come out (haha...ha...ha) but Gloria is a lesbian and Lj is a born female who identifies as a male but doesn't like the trans label (I'm sorry if I totally blew that, Lj...). Anyway I'm mentioning it here because I responded to a freecycle ad for free books and when I went to get them there were, in addition to mysteries and classics and self help, DOZENS UPON DOZENS of gay/trans/genre erotica collections. Bags and bags of, like, "bears" and biker boys and, uh, I honestly didn't know steampunk porn existed? What? So yeah we passed on quite a lot of that :p

Today, I covered some posterboard in black felt I had lying around from a bee costume of some Halloween past (along with yellow for a star), and then cut out a Christmas tree from some green felt I bought for a caterpillar costume, and a bunch of ornaments from red that contributed to a ladybug. Now we have a big Christmas tree feltboard the kids can decorate :) Aaron came up with the idea to paint white stripes on red candy canes and I sewed some little black hooks onto the ball ornaments.

I've also been working on Annie's quilt top (since she's not here) and made some scones we had tea with outside.

*Almost a full bottle of red wine, with a few glugs of rum, half a small bottle of pomegranate juice, couple of splashes of oj, single serving bottle of Sierra Mist, and slices of lemon and oranges floating about.

**Juice of about 10 huge lemons, to which I added a kettle with 8 cups of hot water, 7 bags worth of steeped english breakfast tea, and almost 2 cups of sugar. Added water and ice til it was almost 2 gallons. Came out super yummy.

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These two are months old, but I like them :)

Mostly because of Aaron peaking:


And because this is what happens to Elise most every day she gets home from preschool:


More recently - this is how people around here were dressed last week because it got down into the 70s. I'm not kidding, at all. It was 79 as a high, and no wind.

When I dropped Elise off at in shorts and a tshirt, her teacher (in a sweater, in the heated stuffy classroom) said "You guys must be snowbirds!!"

In the blood mobile.


He hates having his picture taken, lately.


So making this for Christmas.


Snuck and took this.

The guitars have been out a lot more lately. Ananda can suddenly read tab? And her and Aaron both want banjos, and they have jam sessions and play Nirvana songs they learned from Rock Band.

Terrible picture of Cybele, but her SHIRT!!


The seemingly brainless cat Elise's tortures daily, and Aaron's highlighter yellow cast.


After tea a few days ago, Elise fell asleep on Ananda's lap, out on the deck. Awhile later I came in for something, and then went back out to see if Annie needed help with her. They were gone. I found them in the library - Annie just carried her in and let her keep sleeping ♥