altarflame: (deluge)
[personal profile] altarflame
So I'm doing something completely different.

Exercising. <--I know, right, who knew that was even possible.

I downloaded the Couch to 5k (c25k) app on my phone 2 weeks ago, after doing some research, and being inspired by someone I know who has WAY more obstacles than I do, and is still pushing through this program.

Let me just say, I haven't ran in years (aside from a few feet at a time to tickle-chase someone or something like that). Many years. Like it was multiple major surgeries ago, before I had this hernia, shin splints that resurface, and the beginnings of arthritis. I also weighed probably 75 pounds less than I do now. I'm also getting over some kind of chest congestion/cough, AND was on day 1 (aka spotting, and cramping) of my period. But...I've had the cough for almost a month, that happens to me a couple of times a year, and I'm on my debilitating period for like a week out of every month. The point is I had been motivated for awhile and was tired of waiting. No time like the present, blah blah blah.

So, much to my mortification, I was not at all capable of doing the proposed day 1 of C25k. AT ALL. What I was able to do was the initial brisk 5 minute walk warmup, followed by 60 seconds of jogging, then 90 seconds of walking, then 60 seconds of jogging.

Then I laid down, near hyperventilating, red-faced with my heart pounding, on some bleachers and honestly thought I was going to puke for several minutes. Instead I very gradually got past some weird dizziness and finally limp-panted to the bathroom to splash water all over myself, and then to my car, where I spent awhile in a semi-recline with actual rivulets of sweat running down me, trying to recover.

I'm not exaggerating at all, here, which I realize is ridiculous. What blows my mind is that I walk (and ride my bike) kinda a lot! For longer periods of time than that, multiple times per week. I'm rushing across the giant FIU campus, running late, for 15 minutes multiple times a week. There are even bursts of stairs, and inclines, there, and I don't struggle with that. I bike and walk around our neighborhood with my kids regularly (sometimes with someone on the back of my bike with me). I had no idea little 60 second increments of jogging would basically cripple me.

I mean, wtf. Live and learn.

Later that evening my legs were on fire and I was wincing from having to use the freakin' gas and brake pedal to go to the airport and pick Grant up. I was also deeply convicted that I never want to be this out of shape again - not even when I'm 70. I mean OF COURSE I can't lose weight no matter what dietary changes I make, I have barely enough muscle to move around, my metabolism is basically stopped.


Anyway, that was Thursday, Aug 1. The following Wednesday morning (7th), which was a little later than I'd wanted but not terrible (given that I hadn't wanted to go when I was REALLY bleeding since activity amps that up), I went over to a local park to try again. I had made peace with the idea that I'm going to need a pre-week1-week (or two...) to get up to speed for the actual program. Cough has not subsided, and I've had some bizarre flare like tiredness (and hand red spots, and inability to grip...) too, but overall feeling ok.

That time, I did the 5 minute warm-up power walk, 60 second jog #1 AND COULD STILL BREATHE AND IT WASN'T TERRIBLE JUST HARD, then 90 second walk, 60 second jog #2 AND NOW IT WAS JUST LIKE JOG 1 HAD BEEN THE FIRST TIME, a third 90 second walk, and 60 second jog #3.

My aftermath was just as dramatic - almost panicky inability to catch my breath for whole minutes, heart still pounding after a bathroom face-splashing trip and the (short) drive home, red faced when I walked in and collapsed, etc. BUT, I was not as sore afterward as I'd been the first day, AND I'd completed an extra jog. I was actually bolstered by this meager accomplishment, because it meant I was already stronger than I'd been a week before.


If there's anything I've learned in the past few years, it's that I can move my life in the direction I want it to go. It might be very gradual, or in fits and starts, but motion is still progress - whether that be with writing and publication, or my kids' educations, or earning degrees, or therapy for myself. I feel like this is a very simple but very powerful concept: it keeps me from being overwhelmed by the size of the hurdles or length of waiting, which in turn makes almost anything (at least eventually) possible. With that in mind, I feel really really good about this whole fitness process.

Part of what makes patience and big time frames more doable in my perception is just the way time FLIES, now...my mother in law is down, right? And she told me on the phone last week before she came that she hasn't been down in a YEAR. I almost couldn't believe it, when she said that - but it's true, after I sat and thought about it. A whole fucking year. HOW DOES THAT EVEN HAPPEN? That's life, though. It's somehow been almost a year since I saw my Dad for 20 minutes, and a year since the time before that :/ If it takes me a year to be stronger, faster and more energetic, that's basically nothing. That's, you know, something that would already be done now if I'd started a year ago (i.e., yesterday).


Today was day 3. My goal was just to do 4 jogs instead of 3, and keep increasing the number of jogs one by one like that until I get to where I can actually do the proposed, actual C25k day 1 (which is to do the brisk 5 minute warmup walk, and then alternate 60 second jogs and 90 minute walks for 20 more minutes - which is 8 jogs total). Then, days 1, 2 and 3 of week 1 are all the same/repeats. It doesn't get harder til you've done it three times, in other words, which will probably work ok once I get there.

Today, I did not just do 4, I actually did 5 :) And the first one was EASY and I was actually catching my breath during the walk after the SECOND ONE. This is big! Both my progress and my ability to glory in it!

I don't know what exactly clicked in my brain about this that made exercise seem less horrible, but, I'm happy about it. For most of my life what I'm describing here would just seem like the sort of horrific, painful, embarrassing shit I'd have no interest in. Maybe it helps that basically everyone I know over 25 who is NOT in any way infirm or losing some degree of mobility, exercises. Nancy is 70 years old and still walks or swims hard every single morning, and it seems obvious to me that that plays in to her overall health and general with-it-ness.

I'm kinda considering the idea of using a treadmill sometimes, since we have a YMCA membership and that's supposed to be easier on joints. Maybe after I get to actual day 1 I will, sometimes. My shin splints started to get intense, today, towards the end. Somehow I still feel more self-conscious about exercising in a gym with (the horror :p) GYM PEOPLE, as opposed to out at a park where half the people are sitting on benches watching little kids play, or enjoying the wi-fi.

My goal here is to eventually be doing C25K (and after those 8 weeks, some other thing like that) 3 times a week, and doing arm exercises with handweights some of those other days. I can't use other styles of weights because of my hernia, but because of that hernia and it impeding my lifting anything for years, my arms are (somewhat swollen) wet noodles.

Great visual, eh?

Anyway, yeah! Onward and upward! I'm sore and I like it! Whatever else I should say here, except really!

Date: 2013-08-12 12:41 am (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
Glad you've found a good path! I used to dread running a mile in high school, but now 10 (slow) miles can be a wonderful start to a Sunday morning. Running is so rewarding, because the progress comes so quickly (as you've already discovered!).

I just want to advise you to not run through the pain of shin splints. From experience, I know that doing so can cause major setbacks, as the pain only gets worse (and leads to stress fractures, etc.), and the time-out required gets longer. It sucks to take breaks when you're so motivated, but please take care of yourself. :) Shin splints mean you're doing too much, too soon.

Aaaalso (standard disclaimer) please make sure you have good shoes, and I'd suggest reading up on joint-friendly running form (i.e. taking short, light strides; avoiding heavy heel-striking and over-striding).

Can't wait to hear more!!

Date: 2013-08-12 01:00 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] altarflame.livejournal.com
I'm using Asics gels that I bought in NY a couple of summers ago (when I first developed TERRIBLE shin splints, that have never fully went away...) and have basically never put on since. They fit well and are pretty supportive, although I guess they're probably not the best shoes I could possibly have. I was reading some info on some forums this morning about lightweight, more minimalist shoes. Usually, I live in flip flops. I had to go buy socks!

I'm thinking one important and challenging component here is going to be wearing "good shoes" more often when I'm NOT running.

I'm not going to go out again while I'm still sore, and will progress slowly, but I have to admit there is a part of me that feels like I HAVE to push through various pain or else exercise in general just isn't going to work...I have misaligned hips that cause one of my legs to be slightly longer than the other, a pretty major hernia that causes me ongoing back pain, etc etc - but I can't get any of it fixed at the weight that I am. Chiropractic adjustments revert back to the default before I'm out the door, and nobody will operate on me until I drop a lot of pounds.

I am paying attention to form, though! And trying to listen to my body (as I get into a mode of ignoring it as much as possible...)

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