altarflame: (Default)
I think older siblings have been filling Elise in on the more extreme dangers of life. As I strapped her into a carseat last night, she happily said, "Seat, safe. No me die!" Then a little while ago she had a (non-vehicular) accident and when I went to change her shorts she said, "Yeah, shorts. No me butt OUT! Me Jail!" I was like, did you just say you'll go to jail? And she said, "Yeah! No me jail, me dressed! My butt outside, jail."

Mmm, right.




Yesterday we got two bantam silkie chicks. One was to replace Elise's lost chicken, and the other was to keep the first one company, because tiny chicks really shouldn't be alone in the beginning when they're under heat lamps and all. As we are all outfitted for chicks, and they all eat scraps and things (these are getting minute amounts of a mix of my rolled oats, whole wheat bread crumbs, flax seed meal, wheat germ and peas right now, with some sand mixed in for grit) they only cost the $3 chick price. We got one white and one blue, so when grown they'll look like this:



CLEARLY THEY ARE WINNERS.

Also, silkies are known as the affectionate, cuddly chickens (!), and did I mention they max out at like 6-8 inches tall and 1-2 pounds?! TINY CHICKENS. Elise keeps saying "My chichen mall, ME MALL, MALL CHICHEN!!!" We're calling them Big Bird and Cookie Monster. She does love Sesame Street. She and I are sharing them both.


They are smaller than normal chicks, even, though it's hard to tell with this sort of size reference!




Today is a surreal day. I got like, 4 hours of sleep. I got up early and cleaned like a madwoman because I knew we had people coming over. Right now Ananda's friend Sophia is over, and Aaron's guinea pigs and $100 have arrived (he is pet sitting for a family traveling all summer), and he is playing THE MOST AMAZING stuff on the piano...I really love the phase he is in. Annie and Sophia are crafting in the library while it echoes through the house. Grant went to the Kiwanis Fishing Tournament with his mother. This is not something I feel sad to be left out of ;)

Yesterday I actually got somewhere with the NYC trip, it is exciting. Ok, first, I walked into Dance Empire and Kelly immediately flagged me over and told me she somehow was talking to some agent about the kids in Bring Em Out? Like a talent agent, who was not interested at first but Kelly mentioned Tawanna (their super-credified teacher) and it caught the agent's attention. So next Friday when they rehearse, they're supposed to "dress cool" because this person will be there. Right now Aaron's idea of dressing cool is having his shirts on intentionally inside out, and he's rediscovered his love of glasses with the lenses poked out, so we will see. Kelly is also having Grant do some headswaps on some JUMP pictures to maximize group awesomeness. She is hoping they'll get included in casting calls for commercials or something. I am one part apathy, thinking most likely nothing will come of it (this is Miami, not LA), one part hesitation, like worrying about whether or not I want to enter that wirlwind, and one part excitement at possibilities. Aaron really wants to act and I just haven't had the time and money to make that happen in addition to dance. He and Annie did a short student film with our friend Shaun 3 years ago and he's playing the villain in another PATH kid's play, which will be performed at a church this fall, and that is about it. We'll see I guess.

BUT THEN!! Then I heard another mama talking about how she's still looking for a place up there she can afford and I immediately was like DO YOU WANT TO SHARE A HOTEL ROOM WITH ME?!?! And she was like OH MAN YES HOW PERFECT and now all is right as rainbows.

Well, not quite. That just means we're splitting the two grand for the weeks' accomadation o_O Really what it means is that for what I was gonna be shelling out for a hostel or Craigslist, I can now use towards actually being at the hotel where JUMP is being held, so we won't have to have subway riding or getting back to our place at the end of the day :D And when the other kids are all going swimming in the hotel pool or whatever he can come, and this is good stuff. I reserved the rooms last night with a giant gulp (though there is no cancellation penalty) because really, $1012 plus food for a week in NYC is still daunting the hell out of me, but this - this is progress. I was more than ready for some freakin' progress. And at least now I don't have to comb the haystack that is New York for the needle that is a really great cheap place in a good area, anymore.

I have had several private messages, anonymous comments and (awhile back) formspring questions of people asking if/how they can help Aaron get to NY to dance. Particularly after the most detailed Usborne Books post it seems like some people REALLY want to help but just can't handle that website or find anything they want. Someone on facebook also recently suggested it become a facebook "cause" for people who don't want books. I am not really comfortable with the cause thing, and keep thinking this is not an emergency or a crisis...BUT, on the other hand, I'll bet there are some people out there that genuinely want to help, and relatives who would send help for him. And it is really still teetering at the 75% we can definitely go mark, with some irresponsible spending and debt thrown in. So, to whoever has asked/genuinely wants to help: you can send paypal for Aaron's NYC trip to my normal email address (altarflame at yahoo) and rest assured that account is not in use for anything else and is easily earmarked in this direction. Also, thank you so much to the two people who already took it upon themselves to do that <3 Grant may or may not take to updating this page (as it stands it is somewhat inaccurate).

While he was in hip hop yesterday, I took the other kids over to Borders so Annie could use her birthday gift card. She got this massive Dragonology book full of models of dragons, which she built and displayed last night:


Twelve total, not all shown.




I cut my hair last night, about 4 inches off. It's still a bit past my shoulders, I just took all the straggly deadened hag hair off. It was starting to look like I was wearing a dead animal on my head. The problem is that when you cut four inches off my hair and then it curls you rapidly have a situation where my hair, which before on a good day was sexy or beautiful, is merely cute. Also I'm pretty sure I look fatter this way, without those extended vertical lines going down the front of me and stretching the visual lengthwise. BUT - it is way healthier looking and "nice" in general now, and as my bangs have grown out to about mid-cheek length when curling (or to the ears pushes to the sides) with the shorter style I'm starting to approach something that actually looks as though it's an intentional style.




One last thing....Andrea, or custard_kisses, formerly known as taniwha_grrl, is someone I've read on here for many years. She's definitely one of my favorites, with her amazing baking recipes, AMAZING knitting projects, AMAZING New Zealand mountain-and-streams backyard, and her super mothering (SHE HAS TWELVE KIDS...who I know by face and name and have watched change for like 5 years now). She is beautiful, and smart, and hilarious, and links me to most of the best hilarity I find on the internet. She is also now in the ICU in a medically induced coma, on a breathing machine, due to pneumonia....I keep finding myself tearing up and feeling heavy as one of her teenaged daughters updates on her behalf. They don't have need of financial help, but I definitely think we should organize something where we gift her upon homecoming with LUSH products, chocolates, whatever the best latest Twilight parodies are, and tea cups. If anyone would like to participate in putting together a package, please let me know. Also, if you pray, please pray for her swift recovery and rapid return to twittering about how horrible hospital food is.
altarflame: (Default)
1. I bought a cheapo flat iron at Target while I was there exchanging Elise's dresses, then when I got home, I straightened my bangs. Straight down this is not an improvement, as they are already too long that way. But pushed to the sides it's a HUGE IMPROVEMENT. Then, because it was hot already and a novelty and Ananda was standing there with me talking about my hair, I straightened it all for the heck of it. It's interesting; Aaron said I look really pretty in this awed tone and I know it's a more socially acceptable look in general. BUT. I really prefer the wild curly mess. I have a portion of wild curly mess on my bathroom vanity from when I cut my bangs, simply because I like to look at it, and by comparison? Yeah, even dismembered for more than a week, I like that better.

2. I understand a few of you have major problems with my informal, slang-ridden grammar. That's fine, and you can talk it up if you like. But I do not care and am not going to change. If I have to put up with reading things like "Jesus Fucking Christ", which I can barely even type, and "Crimmus" and "Giftmas" and things, you can deal with "Grant and I's last date" and "whatevs". I used to chronically mispell certain words without being aware: in those intances it was actually helpful for someone to say "Do you realize _____?" I don't need it to be pointed out to me that, say, I use "like" a lot or sometimes feature run-on sentences in my blog - I KNOW. There are surely some english professors our there recounting their days for your reading pleasure with a more appropriate level of smugness. I actually love a mixture of great vocabulary, metaphors, cursing, made up words and laughter - I think that's probably my ideal to listen to or read, so there you go. Do you know what gets ME worse than anything? When people lengthen the wrong part of a word. Like if people say they "loveeeeeeeee" something. I think you mean "looooooove", come on people!

3. My healing finger is weird, weird, weird. The actual wound where the incision was made is tiny and looks as though it might not even scar, at this point. The surrounding area is pink, as the old skin that was stretched by the swelling has since peeled away. But then my cuticle itself and some areas around it are ultra yellow, and I think I might lose the nail, as it moves far more than a nail should. Occasionally I wonder if it bad that my antibiotics have already run their course, but everything is at least the right size and shape again.

4. Jake keeps making these bizarre "jokes" today. He'll say something like, say, "Isaac, I dipped your toothbrush in poo water!" or "Elise, I'm sorry to tell you this, but your mom is dead. You can't have parents anymore." When someone acts shocked or offended, he goes "That's just a joke! Isn't that a great joke?!" and then laughs hysterically. He and Isaac were playing Truth or Dare (wth?) earlier and Isaac was daring him to do innapropriate things. I told him this, and so Jake said "Nevermind, I pick Truth". Isaac replied, "Ok, I TRUTH you to take off all your clothes and go outside yelling."

5. I have to step away from this formspring thing. Grant got one - http://www.formspring.me/theneolistickid and I'm having more than one three way conversation in the form of questions...it is EATING MY LIFE!
altarflame: (Default)
My children woke me up today freaking out about the ice on the windows!

Grant came back and said that it's 47 in Key West... breaking a record set in the 1800s.

And then I got on Facebook and saw that my aunt, who lives in Ocala now (so central Florida, where I got married) is seeing snow flurries. She's a native conch in her 50s and this is the first snow of her entire life. Would everyone who knows what I'm talking about take a minute to consider the idea that it's snowing at the Conference Center?!

Shit is cah-RAZY.

My friend Kristin has to find somewhere to spend the night tonight because their house doesn't even have heat.

I am considering my urge to go to Goodwill, buy the biggest coats I can find, and go passing them out to homeless people :/ Florida has a pretty big collection of the homeless, who I am guessing don't exactly check the 10 day forecast on weather.com daily. We also have less shelters than most places, again because of the weather. We turn schools and hospitals into shelters for hurricanes.

In other news, I'm now fighting an urge to cut all of my hair to match the bangs because then at least it wouldn't just look like a messed up accident or a southern twang that should go with too much lipstick. Plus it could all grow out together. Though I really hate the way my hair looks at just-above-shoulder length, A LOT. And Grant would be kind of devastated :/
altarflame: (deluge)
snip snip )

While I had the camera out, two shots of my kids bundled up for another cold night under covers in pairs. Well, most of them anyway.

I made that silly hat (for myself), but it doesn't quite sit on her head right because her head isn't big enough.



The low tonight is 37. This is getting really weird. The low Saturday and Sunday night is 35. I know, I know, this is nothing, blah blah blah but for Florida this is really bizarrely extreme stuff. We almost never have cold fronts that last more than a day or two - and usually "cold front" means upper 40s at night.
altarflame: (Default)
Yesterday was a decidely strange day. I had another two hour emdr session, but rather than being visualization based or meant to target specific things I'm suffering from now, this one delved deep into my past. I figured out a lot of things I'd never realized before about why I believe this or that and how such and such impacted me. But there wasn't any conclusion to any of it and I'm not even really sure I was in the moment and feeling any of it; it was a very detached, mental sort of excercise.

When I left the counselor's office, I ended up stranded at Wild Oats in the middle of a crazy sudden storm...the power was out, the thunder and lightning were insane, and rain was actually lashing the windows and doors (and coming in when they were open) from out in the parking lot, past the very wide sidewalk and overhang...strangers were lending each other cell phones to call home and there was even a police officer urging people NOT to try to drive, but to wait it out in the dark store. Where a sushi chef offered to share the area under his counter with me, should one of the threatened tornados come right through the store.

Then when I got back to our new house, where Grant was with the kids and various workers, a counter guy's truck had just dissapeared out of our driveway. In the middle of the afternoon. With the house full of people. After about 24 hours wondering if the area is really that theft ridden or there is more to the story, it turns out the repo man had followed him to our place and just waited for a clear shot at towing it away O_o I didn't realize they were so ruthless.

Last night I found a reserve of strength and energy I hadn't known was there, and after G went to bed early (work this morning) I stayed up as late as Jake and Elise needed me to, loving them, glad to feel them there, soaking in all the love and nursing and cuteness. I read to A and A with voices and accents and inflections, even though were way behind schedule, talked and combed hair and bathed people all late when they should have been exhausted and still found them charming - and then got everyone up early today without a hitch.

And had the kind of day I didn't think I could have anymore.

We were all 6 dressed presentably with shoes on our feet and out the door with spare diapers before 9 am, meeting with the counter and wall patching guys at the new place. A and A wrote a thank you letter and did Abeka workbook pages, respectively, I cleaned up, I made necessary phone calls. I invited Teresa/mil to come over and check out my nearly-finished tv room and library, which she did. We left and my babies took a nap, I did next loads of dishes and laundry here at Grant Sr's, and cleared some of the floor with Ananda. We all went to BJ's when they got up and shopped and I found incredible deals...including super soft "Throw" style blankets for each of the kids, each a different color and with a different animal head on one corner to make it like a hooded towel or something, super cute - for $7 each. Stowed away as Christmas presents...We also got a plain white cake from the bakery to make into our flag cake tomorrow, since our oven is broken, and the necessary berries for flagging it up. We hung out with Laura, Frank and Brian at the new place, got to show them all the exciting progress I'm starting to get giddy about, and then when we got home again I figured out what was for dinner, nursed, swept, swiffered, scrubbed the dining table, told Patrice she's invited to come to a parade and a fireworks show and make a cake with us tomorrow (she's thrilled, and so are my kids), vaccumed, and cooked - and it was crazy ridiculous yummy, to where Jake ate two big old bowls and Grant and I nearly injured ourselves with consumption. There was time for brushing everyone's teeth and reading to people and Rock Band on Playstation 3 before G had to even be in bed, Elise and Jake went down easily, and here I am updating my lj at only 12:30, which is my answer to 8 pm.

Possible theories of mine as to how this is possible:
-I am not really as bad off as I was thinking
-I am, but I've managed to bury it away in some new mental gymnastics that will come back to haunt me later
-The two, two hour emdr sessions I've had so far have really helped that much already, combined with the other 4 or 5 single hour regular talk therapy sessions.
-It is really, really helpful to me to get up early with a place to be by a certain time, which rarely happens and starts the day off right when it does
-It is really, really helpful to not be anywhere near a computer for most of the day, so I can't get stuck in some bad posture, refreshing-everything rut that saps the day of "rl".
-Everything really does have balance like I've always said, and it had simply been enough hard, unproductive days that I was just due for a good one and that will happen sometimes
-being at the new house/progress at the new house/knowing all the positive ways our lives will change in the new house are buoying me up

We're really close. Reeeeeeeeeeeeeally close.

Finished:
-replacing broken panels of glass in a couple of windows
-patching a couple of spots on the ceiling and one wall
-getting new carpet installed in the tv room and really large storage closet (aka, my kids' "secret club")
-roof replaced
-termite tenting
-old floors in bedrooms torn out
-hole in bathroom floor seamlessly tiled as it should be
-kitchen appliances, and washer and dryer, bought and delivered
-furniture for tv room and library, and the little boys' beds, delivered
-converting oven connection from gas to electric
-getting AC coils cleaned and thermostat replaced
-replacing one french door handle

In Progress:
-putting in new countertops in kitchen and bathrooms
-raising the double oven up and installing it properly

Still to Do:
-paint office
-install bamboo floors in bedrooms
-get water heater done and over with
-get futon and desk for office
-paint or replace certain bathroom tiles (for changing color, not any real problems with them)
-get fence up
-put together massive amounts of outdoor play equipment (trampoline, swing set, 7-seater jet looking teeter totter...what can I say, Grant bought that last one :p)
-installing HIGH hook and eyes on all the french doors
-phone service
-alarm hook up
-MOVE ALL OUR CRAP, after massive clean-up, clean out and general overall of stuff is finished...I'm trying to do it one small corner of this place at a time. Just today I've thrown away a large pile of stained, holey or hopelessly faded kids' clothes and a whole box of broken pieces of things from their room.

Whatever the case of feeling "back to normal", even if it is for just one day - I'll take it, by golly.


Aside: This is now my new favorite picture of Ananda and Aaron:


...Even with the horrible way grown out mohawk.

haircuts, birthdays and more! )

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