Life's been good to me so far

1. What did you do in 2009 that you'd never done before?
-had a plastic surgery consult
-Went away for a vacation weekend with just Grant
-rode around with my daughter, just the two of us...with her in the front seat
-had writing (AND ART!!) accepted for publication
-spent the night in a chair by a hospital bed
-ate coconut curry and lime leaves
-baked shortbread cookies
-sewed a quilt
-was a mother with no children in diapers
-saw a cat hit by a car
-got my nose pierced

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I didn't make any. I think I wanted to get over the worst of my PTSD, and I think I did. Tomorrow is my first day back on Eat to Live's 6 week plan, but that doesn't really count as a whole year resolution, obviously. I do have a HUNCH that 2010 is "my year" re: writing.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
My sister, just a couple of days ago now. And my cousin, several months back :) Little girls for both.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Not exactly...but I took my mother to see her dead father, who's always been in and out of my life. We also lost Aaron's rabbit, Hoppy. And came to terms with the idea that my Dad's Dad has little time left :/ Two non-close friends lost their husbands to commuting car accidents.

5. What countries did you visit?
...the Conch republic?

6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?
More money. Membership in the Catholic Church. A book contract.

7. What date from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
I don't really notice dates. But I will by reminded of death and birth dates by others probably forever.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Losing 26 pounds in 6 weeks was nice, as was all the entertaining we did (great birthday parties for both girls, potlucks, Paige and Dama's longer visits, Thanksgiving with my Dad, sister's blessingway, a fire recently...), and I'm very proud of a lot of the writing I've done in the past year...but I think #1 is getting myself back to a place where I can help other people. I've been able to babysit friends' kids, send cards in the mail, take people dinners, bake extra for guests and be there for Laura as she had a baby. Take in my brother. It feels REALLY GOOD after how incredibly needy, dependent and USED UP I was for a couple of YEARS there.

9. What was your biggest failure?
The laundry? Getting us on a better schedule? I don't really care about those things, honestly. Probably it has something to do with this overwhelming and bitter feeling I get that I'm failing at everything sometimes, even though I know that really I'm not. So...failing to stay close to God even when I see the incredible help and strength when I do.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Not really.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
Hmm...craft supplies? Or maybe A and A's loft beds, which were such a good Craigslist find.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
My Nana's Pa has really been THE MODEL of what a husband is supposed to be, as my Nana goes through life post-stroke. From continuing to send out the cards and gifts to grand and great-grandkids like she used to, to spoon feeding her with jokes and smiles and handling all the insurance bills and...it's amazing, it really is. He kisses her goodbye and changes her diapers.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
My brother's, at times. My Dad's girlfriend's at one point I don't want to talk about while they were here. My in-laws in disallowing Robby to withdraw and sign up for Virtual School.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Probably groceries.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
DAMA COMING FOR A VISIT WITH THE GIRLS, IN OCTOBER!! Elise's 2nd bithday party in May. Being back in action for fair rides and fun, especially re: Santa's Enchanted Forest.

16. What song will always remind you of 2009?
Probably Lily Allen's whole second album and a few Dresden Dolls songs. And "Heavy Cross" by The Gossip. NO WAIT! It's Feist's "I Feel It All".

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
Thinner. Restless.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
SLEEP.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Looking at stupid websites that mock people and situations.

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
I already wrote about this.

21. Did you fall in love in 2009?
I feel like I just keep falling further and further everyday. I'm in deep.

22. What was your favorite TV program?
The Office

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
I think I hate less people.

24. What was the best book you read?
The Silent Mountain; The Glass Castle. Both nonfiction.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Shannon Wright? Thrice? New Pandora stations that come out awesome and imeem as it was before this MySpace takeover were probably the greatest discoveries.

26. What did you want and get?
To stop having nightmares all the fucking time. An extended social network and deepened ties with some friends.

27. What did you want and not get?
For my belly to not be like this. Sex about a hundred times more often. RCIA classes.

28. What was your favorite film of this year?
Hmm. I was happily surprised by how good Up was. But I think Grant and I had the most fun watching I Love You, Man. WAIT! I might say Julie and Julia. I saw that with Kristin, Jackie, Michelle F, and some others at an advance screening and it was really fun.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
28 - Grant and I went to Benihana by ourselves, got the Writer's Market book from B&N, and I ordered something I can't remember right now.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Getting enough sleep at night or actually having enough money the last half of the year.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?
I discovered that if I wear decent, modern maternity jeans I can wear jeans, and with the right shirts, nobody is the wiser. So dark jeans and hip length shirts of various styles. I've moved back to Converse (burgundy lowtops) and crazy socks (mismatched argyle today) and discovered I really like myself in dangly earrings.

32. What kept you sane?
St Jude, Grant's parenting help, and Starbucks (as a place to write and a brewery of happy potion)

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Hmm....I kind of got a little case of Team Jacob. But mostly that kid is, well, a kid. With too much neck. Stuck in some really bad movies. I reaffirmed my undying love and near crush for Helena Bonham Carter several times over and was kind of surprised at how hot Jake Gyllenhall was in Brothers the other day. I'm not really too into fancying celebrities overall.

34. What political issue stirred you the most?
Gay rights.

35. Who did you miss?
Oh geez. Kathy. My Dad's side of the family when I wasn't there. My mom, all too often. Nana and Pa like crazy in the weeks leading up to Christmas Eve. Grant, because there were two toddlers between us in the bed.

36. Who was the best new person you met?
Michelle. The PATH one.

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009.
The Prayer of St Francis. I could keep learning from that my whole life, but I spent a really long time this year just trying to figure out exactly how I can ever even pray it sincerely, like truly want to ask for what it asks for - let alone get there in my actions...

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace;
where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Master,
grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood, as to understand;
to be loved, as to love;
for it is in giving that we receive,
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life.

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
With You and I, it's everything all of the time.... (Radiohead)