(no subject)

[altarflame]

Ok. Isaac came home two nights ago - he's on a high fiber diet with lots of water and miralax, and probiotics, as well as taking a walk every day and having a follow-up (GI) appt scheduled. Yesterday, he stayed home and relaxed. Today, he had his first day of school.

I was happy with how the morning went - I got him up really early, so he could play on the computer and eat breakfast and feel relaxed before we went in. I walked him to class since it's his first day, and the teacher I met at the door acted happy to see him and concerned about how he's doing. They were really sweet and concerned about him being at the hospital. I explained that he might have to use the bathroom more than other students and reiterated that he has a reading disorder (something noted on paperwork I'd previously turned in).



I was worried about him, because I'm feeling really vulnerable about him right now, and protective, but also proud of him - walking into a brand new class for the first time on the third day, he was really brave and calm about it.

So then, at about 1:30, I got a call from one of the teachers (it's a combined 2nd/3rd grade class with two teachers). Basically, she was really nice, and said Isaac is very sweet and tries really hard but 3rd grade is an FCAT year and he's going to fail if he can't read, and thus be held back. She doesn't want his self esteem to suffer from that being his first experience of school. She suggested we take him back out and put him in next year, when it's not an FCAT year.

I can't help but have it screaming in my mind that schools and teachers are graded based on student performance and that weighs in, here.

I asked if she didn't think we could maybe get him reading by the end of the year, and she talked about how hard the test is and how after her years of experience, no. She said they could give him time on starfall and have him in "intervention" every day, but it wouldn't be good enough. She also said that even kids who have been in real school for years sometimes fail this test O_O

I told her I'd talk to his father, and his counselor, and him, and think about it.

So I went and got him, and he was SO EXCITED as he got in the van, literally jumping in yelling, "I'm SO GLAD I WENT TO SCHOOL!!!" and telling me all these stories. This is what I was hoping for, since he ADORED GMYS camp over the summer (and last summer). He really seems to thrive in structured environments with other adults and non-sibling kids in a big way, he eats it up...

The teachers and some kind of ESE specialist came over to the van, too, and had these sort of apologetic polite smiles, and dude. I don't get this, ok? I was being HYPER POLITE, and not hijacking in any way, and they were just being so bitchy to me! Like totally appalled that homeschoolers don't get graded, confused/accusatory about how he's passed previous grades, dismissive and scornful about one proposed solution I wanted to run by them (registering him as a second grader to give him extra time to catch up, since he wouldn't have to even change classes for that to work).

I left feeling really frustrated, with Isaac relatively unaware and just prattling on in the backseat nonstop about RECESS and the friend he made and how he loves it.

I didn't even have Isaac evaluated at the end of this school year, which is necessary for promotion within the legal homeschool guidelines, since I knew he was going into school. I tried to present that as a possible loophole for how they could say he really should be a 2nd grader - holding him back in advance, basically - but "The county" and "already registered" and appalled because apparently they had no idea homeschoolers just "Get evaluated" and they were talking over/not even hearing me, and ugh. UGH. I mean I wrote in and verbally told them he has a diagnosed reading disorder, so why is everyone acting so surprised now that he can't read???


I can tell they want him out of there. But I don't think, based on what I've seen so far, that that will impact the way they treat him, if he stays. Part of me thinks I can just sit Isaac down and explain that he might be in 3rd grade twice and he'll be fine with that - Isaac doesn't give a shit about grades anyway, as a crazy vagabond homeschooler :p Isn't part of the whole self esteem crushing shame thing how it's handled, treated and presented? I also feel like it's very possible he'll be reading pretty well by the end of the year and that's it's bullshit on their part to assume that's not something that could happen.

It's not like it wouldn't have an emotional impact to have went shopping for supplies and for uniforms and counted down for weeks and have a great first day, and then get pulled out, either. Fucking assholes. How can you pretty much say to me in one breath that you think homeschooling is questionable and homeschoolers don't learn much, AND THEN ALSO that he should be put back in homeschool? You have basically just told me you don't actually care about outcomes for my child at all, only your establishment.

I have some fear that I should be worried about them pulling him out of that class and sticking him in a special needs class...he's not actually learning disabled in general, is above average intelligence and fine in math, science, generalized social studies and history knowledge. He has a huge vocabulary and very impressive comprehension.

They want to see my documentation now, about his reading disorder, which I get but am not necessarily thrilled about since it's grouped in with a lot of other information I'm not eager to share with them, since it's a whole-person, emotional/personality/academic/etc assessment and Isaac has had some issues I don't think are any of their business. Like Grant's and my personal fears and suspicions about him are in those papers, and examples of disturbing stories Isaac made up.


Basically everything I don't like about public schools (learning/teaching for a test, institutionalized mindsets, weird prejudices against anyone who doesn't fit in, not being able to cater to individual kids' strengths and weaknesses, having to adhere to all kinds of protocol even when it isn't effective) is at work here, and so maybe I should just be like YOU SEE!! ...but it isn't that simple. Because I really think this would be very good for him - maybe great for him - right now, on many levels :/

I'm trying to decide what an email to his teacher should say, whether or not to go in early tomorrow and meet with them, and whether I should take this moment to seize onto a determination to do extra work with him every evening and weekend and get him into external tutoring (because I DO feel like I'm hitting a brick wall with him, myself, here)...

They get a ton of homeschoolers over there, I've known many who come from or go into that school. We aren't some kind of anomaly in that, and so I can't really figure out how we could have gotten off on the wrong foot such that I'd be getting attitudes. I came in and met with them about him being in the hospital earlier this week (which I would assume would earn us some extra sympathy or at least less rudeness? Hello?), he showed up in his uniform, before class started, with ALL the supplies (I carried in 4 bags aside from the lunchbox and backpack he had). I answered the phone right away when they called, talked to them at pick up and am referencing having had him assessed and in counseling - isn't all this the kind of thing teachers want/like/wish for, from parents? Or do they just wish for good test scores from naturally advanced students?

I'm thinking about this, more, I guess... I also really wonder if the "getting him registered as a 2nd grader," bit might be totally plausible if I push through it and do my own research. I mean it's only the first week of school - my older kids' "official," state-run virtual school classes don't even start until September 1.

Argh.

ETA: This is the vocabulary definitions Isaac brought home, that I'm supposed to study with him.


Have these teachers not even heard of tenses or conjugation O_o GOOD GRIEF!!

Comments

[emilie1024.livejournal.com]

I'd keep him in or see if you can register him as a 2nd grader. Because of his reading issue he should be on an iep and getting rsp support. I wish you were in my area...I'd gladly put him on my caseload.

[altarflame.livejournal.com]

:)

I just edited this to add an image of some of his homework. Now I'm here thinking, OH. That's why you don't think you can teach someone to read in a year. RIGHT.

[(Anonymous)]

Oh my gosh I want to slam my head on my desk repeatedly. The fact that they even suggested this, on the very first day of school, before even formally evaluating him or exhausting all other options is appalling. Please call FDLRS. They will be able to get you an advocate to deal with all this bureaucratic nonsense, an IEP for him and whatever else he needs to succeed in school. We work with them for my son who has special needs and they have been a lifesaver. They are located off of miller and 90something and their number is 305-274-3501. Also, if you contact whoever it is that evaluated him previously, I am sure they can provide the county with whatever proof of the reading issue they need without disclosing the other stuff.

Maneuvering the system can be a pain in the butt. My son has immunodeficiency and missed a lot of school last year as a result. The administration at his school gave me crap about it and wanted to take away our district transfer that allows us to go to that school, even though we go to the school because he is special needs and they have the program he needs there. His immunodeficiency is even documented in his IEP! BUT he has thrived so much in school, and it is worth it in the end.

[altarflame.livejournal.com]

Thank you for this comment, I am going to look into your mentioned resources, and I appreciate the solidarity.

from eBirdie

[(Anonymous)]

Wow, ugh. Can you get Isaac's doctor to provide a document of the reading disorder diagnosis without the other parts? Or make a copy of what you have and just black out the stuff you don't want them to see (like they do to classified information in government documents).

I can see why they'd be concerned and want to work with you and Isaac to bring him up to speed, but the way they've approached it seems ludicrous. Honestly, if he'd have to repeat third grade, and second and third grades are already in the same classroom, making him a second grader seems the most logical and painless solution. He'd be with this year's second graders again next year anyway and that way they'd be saving him from the (apparent) stigma of being held back. To say "he's really behind and the best solution is for us to just not even try to teach him anything" just seems...senseless? I hope it all works out for you both. Good luck!

(And we get things like that vocabulary sheet back from my kid's public school all the time. It drives me and my husband crazy.)

Re: from eBirdie

[altarflame.livejournal.com]

That is a good idea, and I do think his evaluator would probably do that.

To say "he's really behind and the best solution is for us to just not even try to teach him anything" just seems...senseless?

Yeah.

Re: from eBirdie

[http://users.livejournal.com/_delphiki_/]

I was going to suggest to redact his evals as well. Also, it does sound like Issac needs an IEP. If you request an evaluation in writing, they have 45 days to decide if he needs an IEP or not.

Don't let them bully you. This is the same crazy nonsense I dealt with when I tried to get Maddox in school.

[emilie1024.livejournal.com]

Those definitions suck. I'm sure the text has a much clearer glossary or something. Oy vey. I agree with the other poster, get an advocate. Know your rights as a parent. The vocal parents get attention.

[altarflame.livejournal.com]

They don't really have textbooks! They have computer time and a laptop per child assigned, and they have a LOT of xerox'd worksheets, and copy things off boards, and do tons of hands on/group activities. Projects and arts stuff.

My concern is that this student body is rich in vocal parents - I'm not going to be that one pita mom at a regular public school...I'm gonna be one in a sea of complainers, who have all sought out this school that makes you jump through all kinds of hoops to attend.

But I'm definitely trying anyway, and the advocate idea is a good one...

[ecosopher.livejournal.com]

I'm just really appalled, firstly at the way this was handled, and secondly that this kind of thing wasn't discussed before he started. I really hope he can continue at school, for all the reasons you've mentioned wanting to send him. Is this a public school? Here, unless it's a private, fee-paying school, they can't legitimately refuse a child who's in their catchment area. The government guarantees a place for every child at school and the school would have to come up with some seriously good reason not to accept a child... and the fact that the child might not perform well on standardised tests is NOT a good enough reason.

[altarflame.livejournal.com]

It's a public charter school. They have a lot of somewhat ludicrous requirements for parents (volunteer hours, classroom supply donations, that kind of stuff) in addition to being stricter about their uniforms and standard supply lists and orientations and things than "normal" public schools - but I don't really know what power they actually have to kick anyone out. There are good things about them - Isaac's class is only about 20 kids and they have two full time teachers and a full time aid in that room. They incorporate the arts throughout the curriculum. The campus is insanely beautiful, all climbing vines, stained glass, mosaic tile and wind chimes. They have a wait list to get in and turn a lot of people away, and I think they're used to being in a position of power because parents come to them extremely frustrated with the bottom-of-the-barrel non-charter public schools we have around here, or the extremely expensive and unsustainable private ones (I know kindergarten at the Montessori or the Methodist schools closest to me is over $5,000, and it goes up hundreds of dollars every year).

[ecosopher.livejournal.com]

It's a shame that your first experience with them has been so unsavoury, considering that they obviously want to maintain a really high standard (although perhaps that's part of the problem, and that they are a little arrogant in their dealings with parents/students).

I know what you mean about private schooling... we looked into Montessori when S was only about 18 months old, and it was prohibitively expensive.

[yolen.livejournal.com]

Oh shit, a charter school...they can't legally kick him out from what I understand, but they can very well make your lives miserable so you just pull hik out. They have "cherrypicking" tactics that help boost their number :/. Good luck.

[altarflame.livejournal.com]

I met with the principal who seemed to be nothing but apologetic about the teachers' attitudes and eager to help Isaac. It wasn't even on her radar as an option to pull him, so. I'm glad for that, at least.

[yolen.livejournal.com]

That is very, very good to hear. Best!

[mercyorbemoaned.livejournal.com]

UGH

[glitterwhore4u.livejournal.com]

I second asking his doctor to write up a second documentation statement with just the diagnoses that will affect his education.

I work with students with disabilities at the college level and you would be amazed at the number of them who can't tell you what their disability is or how it affects their academics. Start talking to Isaac now and making sure he knows and can start advocating for himself as early as possible- it will make all the difference later on.

[altarflame.livejournal.com]

On the other hand, you have Ananda who wants to blame everything from dropping things on the floor to getting a math problem wrong on her spacial awareness issues because she is dyslexic!! O_o

:p

I know what you mean, though, and will try to keep that in mind. I think Aaron is a good balance of understanding he has SID in a way that challenges him to find good ways to cope and overcome challenges.

[sistersunshine.livejournal.com]

If Issac is so excited about school I really think it would not be in his best interest to take him out. :( I agree with the other poster about blacking out EVERYTHING in his report except the reading challenges section. I would not trust them with very private information about Issac at this time. I am so sorry they have been so rude to you. I'd push for him to go to the second grade class. It seems like it shouldn't be a problem since it is combined anyway. Is this the same school Elise is going to?

[altarflame.livejournal.com]

I'm trying to see if I can get them to write something up for the school specifically, that only talks academics.

And yes - she is loving it.

[aelf.livejournal.com]

Before you just place him in second grade, make sure he'll be evaluated no matter what. Some systems don't evaluate kids til late 2nd or 3rd grade (which is one reason holding kids back when they're young can be such a problem).

Since his comprehension is excellent,I also wonder if his IEP couldn't be written to have tests read to him? That should solve any testing issues, I would think. My daughter's test scores dropped this year (3rd) because of the required independent reading component. Her school was surprised because it's out of line with her other test scores, but I pointed out she's still easily fatigued when reading & she'll eventually get there (or not).

I'd be tempted to keep him in as long as he's enjoying it.

[altarflame.livejournal.com]

They're doing placement tests next week for everyone in his class, and are pretty aggressive about not letting anyone slip through the cracks.

I mentioned the reading-tests-to-him bit at my meeting this morning, and the principal said that while that is legal, it's extremely hard to get the district to comply with unless you're talking about a very extreme disability. She said in 15 years she's never actually seen it happen at a school where she works....we'll see how this goes (I have an eta on the next entry about the meeting).

[(Anonymous)]

What is his reading disorder? I find it very interesting that you failed to teach a third grader how to read.

[altarflame.livejournal.com]

Fascinating, isn't it? And non-specified, which is frustrating.