Paying Out of Pocket

[altarflame]

I am so over everything right now, SO READY for it to be like several months from now already :/

I've spent so much time in (3 ER trips at 2 different) hospitals this week, for Aaron's foot and Aaron's arm, and I spent 4 hours at the dentist yesterday with everyone and we found out Elise and Jake both need extensive dental work. I'm talking about EXTENSIVE, like knock Elise out in a hospital setting and extract several teeth and apply crowns to a few more and then get a couple of fillings. There's no brown or black, but there's a lot of aggressive irregular SHRINKING of her teeth that is obviously decay that is going to get into her gums and cause major problems eventually. Jake is not that bad but needs a couple of in-office extractions of back teeth and is on antibiotics right now for an infected cavity that was keeping him up at night :/

Grant feels insanely crushed about this as he has some ptsd-like trauma related to HORRIBLE BAD dentistry that's been practiced on him, and he has just also always had major dental problems and so he's blaming himself for passing it on and also dealing with the idea that it's going to be a part of their lives the way it's been a part of his. I'm trying to tell him it will be somewhat different and significantly better; they're not going to psycho dentist. They walked out of the office yesterday holding stickers and new little toys, excited about how brave they were. Jake likes taking "the pink stuff". We'll take care of it and not allow them to go on with terrible rotting teeth for ten years of (pre and) adolescence, which he did.

I've spent two hours arguing with insurance companies, in one go, it was HORRIBlE and so many phone calls and logic loops (our provider assigned our kids to a dentist who doesn't see children; the only way to get the coverage to a pediatric dentist is to get a referral; but this dentist can only refer someone they've seen, and they DON'T SEE CHILDREN; etc).

I've made a trip to the Office of Vital Statistics and filled out at least 30 pages of paperwork and had 2 Usborne shows and you know what I'm not doing? SLEEPING. Seeing my husband. Eating right.

I also keep getting back to my house and being like O_O and kind of tottering on my feet about the mess and then spending brief periods in hyper cleaning mode.

I have another hellacious ear infection, in the same one that just went wild a couple of months ago - I think probably the fluid never drained and so it was just waiting for more bacteria. The whole side of my face hurts, it hurts to chew, I can't hear on that side.

I'm on my period, too, and as I have really heavy, anemia-inducing periods I'm always extra tired this time of the month even when I'm loading up on supplements and things.

I have really been devoting a lot of mental energy to NOT THINKING about lumbar punctures, NICUs, how it feels to be in a hospital bed, and many other things that are triggering me like crazy the past few days just from signs on doors and things nurses are saying in hallways.

And then again in an interconnected way, Elise not having her front teeth, her smile, Elise's unforseeable reaction to something like general anesthesia....I feel like I could really freak out if I wasn't checking out, mentally.

And let me tell you...this shit is expensive. Everything is so expensive. Just filling two prescriptions and getting more children's motrin and tylenol and the calcium paste the dentist wants us to use every night and having to eat on the fly because we're stranded at Miami Children's Hospital for 6 hours is expensive, without actual medical bills factored in :/ We really needed to kind of lay low financially for awhile post-NY, not have a massive blowout of sudden huge expenses. (Jake's next office visit will be $100 even with insurance covering like 90%, and they're talking about 18 month financing for Elise...as though we had credit).


I am really getting to a point today where I just want to be like YOU KNOW WHAT? You guys make brownies all day and have them for breakfast lunch and dinner while I stare at the wall, KAY?! I tried to take a nap after I got back from the book fair with Isaac (who did have a good time)and it was a nonstop stream of questions and requests until I just gave up and got out of bed.

There are just too many things right now. Aaron is depressed and I can't tell how much is the cast limiting his mobility and his ability to get wet and just being annoying, and how much is SO MANY PEOPLE calling him "Jones" for the first time in years when he (apparently) didn't even understand that was still his legal last name anymore, as we use Walker in the community.

SO.

END RANT.

The good news is supportive people who love us, and the love we have for each other.

So I am thankful for:

-the fact that my kids don't act like fucking maniacs in waiting rooms and behave through exams and so on, as that would be way too much compounded
-that we can all veg out in the van listening to soft music and feeling sleepy the whole way home together
-that I'm not having to PESTER Aaron about keeping his arm elevated overhead or sleeping with it on his chest or whatever; he's (WHO KNEW?) mature enough to just keep on it himself
-the fact that Usborne Books is starting to seem like it will be a real source of supplementary income. Not like if I was working at a full time job or something; but it's increasingly realistic that I'll make at least a few extra hundred dollars per month to cover school supplies and field trips and outgrown shoes this way without having to try overly hard
-that my husband DOES NOT stomp around angry or put us all on eggshells when he's stressed; I know he's cracking up when, rather than going to his part-time on the side gig, he's got part of a halloween costume tied around his head and is coloring with the kids at the dining table
-Gloria and Lj came to MCH last night and hung out with the non-Aaron kids for a couple of hours, took them to eat in the cafeteria, and made them laugh and have fun as we left, which was more than I was up for at that point ♥
-Ananda really can make (damn fine) brownies with no help or input whatsoever, and I am eating some right now
-my sister is on her way here, armed with treats, kids to distract my kids, the ability to talk all night, and her own set of rants

---

ETA

VERY FREAKING GOOD NEWS: My ENT's after-hours service agreed to call in prescriptions for me so I didn't have to go to the ER or try to wait this crap out. So I've already got the first dose or oral antibiotics and ear drops and hopefully will be feeling better sometime soon. Also I remembered that I'm allowed to alternate Tylenol, ibuprofen 2 hours later, then tylenol 2 hours after that, etc, when the pain is this bad so hopefully I'll be getting some relief tonight and maybe (PLEASE?!) be able to sleep. It really interferes with sleep at this level :/

Crappy News: WITH OUR INSURANCE I still paid about $130 for the prescriptions and right now? And for the past few hours? I'm gritting my teeth and tensing my shoulders and squinting to try to deal with how bad this hurts. I paid Ananda $2 to read to the little kids tonight at bedtime. Ugh.

Comments

[noelove.livejournal.com]

so totally ok to be over shit. and to have issues with being in the ER.

stay strong.

[altarflame.livejournal.com]

<3

[sistersunshine.livejournal.com]

Dental issues suck. I had the worst teeth as a kid, and had to have my top four teeth extracted! Have you checked out mothering.com dental forum? They have a lot of natural advice on treating cavities.

I hope things start to settle down for you all!!

[altarflame.livejournal.com]

My sister is hugely into that forum, and several others. Her son, Brian, had very similar issues to what Elise is dealing with (but younger and slightly more rapidly advancing).

It's really bizarre to me; I didn't have my first cavity until I was 20 and nursing a second back-to-back baby; the dentist called it "decalcifying" and traced it to my nutrient depletion. So this seems...really extreme, to me, like...wow. I mean my kids drink almost nothing but water, they brush their teeth every night before bed and have nothing else after that. Ananda, Aaron and Isaac have never had problem one. *shrug*

(thanks, and me too)

[medland.livejournal.com]

I think some people just have really shitty teeth. My mother has a mouth full of cavities, fillings and dental work and her brothers don't have a single filling between them. They all had the same upbringing re tooth brushing and no sugar. I think maybe it's just the luck of the draw.

[altarflame.livejournal.com]

You are probably right. The first time I went to the dentist I was 17, and it was to get my wisdom teeth out. I was not a child who brushed my teeth regularly at ALL.

[mommydama.livejournal.com]

One day at a time. I'm sorry this is all piling on at once. I'm thinking of you and praying for you.

[altarflame.livejournal.com]

Thank you Dama.

[altarflame.livejournal.com]

Oh, also, when I talked to that lady at home office she said they did find the order so now it's just about whether or not they approve the commission. She was supposed to call me back today on my cell but so far, nothing. So probably she just hasn't heard yet.

Beth is asking me when I can spend 30 minutes in phone training again and I feel like I'd rather die than be on the phone for half an hour right now. I can only hear out of one ear. I'm going to try to explain to her how I am really not someone phone training is going to work for very often, but I DO want to learn more and am very open to emails, fb messaging, being pointed towards things to study on the ubam site, etc...and hope she understands.

[mommydama.livejournal.com]

Even if she doesn't "understand", it doesn't matter. This is YOUR business and you do what you can with it. Beth stressed major over this order that was placed "wrong" and she just doesn't want it to happen again. I think she called me 20 times about it so I don't want to think about how many times she called home office. Home office doesn't like to redo orders like this. It was NOT your fault though, and I honestly don't see how training would have changed much. Okay, I sort of see her point in that if you had known about purchase orders and Literacy for a Lifetime and stuff you could have alleviated their fears, and they might not have gone over your head. But it sounds more like they got in a hurry while you were in NY and I don't know how you could have stopped that. I didn't do training with her either except to read and listen to stuff online. I've NEVER done her "training calls". But I think she sees you as having a lot more potential and wants you to have the info even more than she wanted me to have it. Heh.

Anyhoo...this should probably be an email exchange. Sorry.

[altarflame.livejournal.com]

I had no idea she was stressed so much or making so many calls! I'm torn between feeling guilty, now that I do, and feeling like that's kind of insane.

It's probably really stressful in general to be making your full time, sole source of household income something that most of the people providing it see as casual/part time...I'll bet she's driven nuts by that dynamic pretty often :/

I don't really mind that it isn't email. I got your Usborne email and am talking to G about it now.

[ecosopher.livejournal.com]

Wow, poor you. (I really am being sympathetic, in case that sounds sarcastic). I haven't had ear infections for a while now, but I used to find it helped to wrap an icepack in a tea towel and hold it against the side of my face up near my ear. I'm not sure if it helped the swelling or made it number and easier to bear, but it did seem to alleviate the pain a bit. Plus I did the alternating pain-killers too.

[altarflame.livejournal.com]

For me, cold makes it (WAY) worse...heat helps some, sometimes. Grant or I periodically do this massage down from right behind the ear to along the jaw, that can help, but only as it's going on. Mostly this just sucks :/ I'm getting very close to exploring more invasive and serious options to stop this permanently. Not least because I'm going to end up deaf otherwise.

[ecosopher.livejournal.com]

Yeah, the deafness thing really worried me too, especially since my dad has been going steadily deafer all his life, for no obvious reason, so I'm on the alert for it happening to me/the children. The infections tended to flare up when I was under particularly severe stress - one of my friends used to say to me, "Rebecca, what is it you don't want to hear?!" I hope you're getting some relief by now.

[medland.livejournal.com]

I really hope you feel better soon. ♥

[custard-kisses.livejournal.com]

Earaches are just awful, my sympathies.
Oscar had two teeth pulled a few weeks ago at school. The were his top front two so he would have lost them soon anyway but still, the dental nurse said he was great with it all.

[altarflame.livejournal.com]

It blows my mind, the model you guys have of actual medical care wrapped up with and done in schools. Here, you would not believe the hassle and bureaucracy associated with something as simple as your child needing to take an over the counter medication during school hours - paperwork, meetings parents attend, it has to be kept in the office and distributed by someone who's been agreed upon. A "school nurse" in Florida is basically someone who checks for head lice and decides whether or not kids who say they feel sick should be allowed to call home for someone to come pick them up.

[theneolistickid.livejournal.com]

You know, one of the major projects and funding sources at HCN is the HCioS (Health Connect in our Schools) program, which has an actual medical personnel (I think it's just a nurse and nurse assistant) in a bunch of schools providing medical care for kids. Though we don't actually deal with them that much, it's a significant part of what pays our salary.

More at http://studentservices.dadeschools.net/hcios/index.asp