(no subject)
Apr. 27th, 2009 01:41 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
altarflameAaron's cat, Peter, is still acting as though he just got back from 'Nam around everyone in the house - leaping from a litter box amidst a fine spray and diving under furniture as soon as anyone enters the room, and so on. Except with Aaron, of course, who he nuzzles and loves on and purrs loudly with. The other night I peeked in his room and Peter was in some kind of state, I could hear him purring from the hallway and he was acting like he wanted to fuse himself to Aaron's shoulder and face. He was laughing and scratching him and said, "Look Mom! Peter's in love with me! He wants to marry me, and make millions and millions of little cumans!" Oh, Aaron.
So. This has been Surreal Week for the Walker family. I have been having extreme dizziness from antihistamine withdrawal (OF ALL THINGS), Grant is in Tooth Pain Hell, and so both of us are largely useless as my mother calls with updates every few hours because my Nana is in the hospital. She had aneurysm (sp?) surgery a few weeks ago, and it seemed to go very well. We sent flowers and called her and it seemed all good. But it turns out that some thing they did wrong in there was blocking an artery from supplying blood to her kidneys. Two weeks of undiagnosed kidney failure later...and we're dealing with all kinds of horrible effects. She's in the ICU, with my poor mother who is still horribly grieving for her Dad that JUST DIED two weeks ago (her parents are/were only 61 years old here...) Nana has significant neurological damage from swelling around her brain from excess fluid buildup while her kidneys weren't working. She can't move one leg, can't see well, and doesn't know what year it is...this is my Nana who I lived with throughout high school, who we go to be with every year for Christmas Eve, who has a full time job and takes vacations...who's husband that is still fit and active is 18 years older than her.
As I've sat in my office with the room spinning, trying to avoid standing, trying not to dwell, trying to help Grant feel better with heating pads and liquid tylenol and chewable Motrin because he can't take pills and hot tea and distractions of every womanly sort that can be mustered when one feels that they're falling down while just sitting there...I've been doing a lot of browsing around online.
And I've found some awesome stuff! For instance. Alexander McQueen, who I think rocks, has designed some clothes for Beth Ditto. Who is fat. And unashamed of it. And beautiful anyway, in a way that SHOULDN'T BE SO SHOCKING. Like...ok. I am not someone who thinks all fat is good fat or that it's awesome to be huge, I understand there are real health risks and it's important not to forget that. But, I also know that you can take two people and feed them both the same thing every day, and one will get fat while the other stays thin. And I know that a large proportion of Americans are overweight, and yet we continue to idolize EXTREME thinness as the only thing fit to be displayed in any arena, and eating disorders and our young girls and blah blah blah. So anyway this singer who has so many cool things to say has nude magazine covers, she has spandex costumes for onstage, she says that growing up her mom and grandmother would tell her not to wear a bikini but SHE never thought she shouldn't wear a bikini. She thought she wanted to wear a bikini. She thought it was just her body and not so different from a lot of other bodies and what the heck was the big deal that the mere sight of her could offend?
One of the Alexander McQueen getups.
Singing for The Gossip at various concerts.
Covers.
Even though I am not really into nudity on magazine covers in general...I can't help but think how AMAZING it would be if there were more like THAT in the grocery store checkout lines. How different all the ladies might feel as they checked out. I mean, wtf, there are guys that like this. This is what was being painted as the pinnacle of beauty for, oh, THOUSANDS OF YEARS. Why do we try to program everyone to think only one thing is beautiful now?
I am also really hoping my kids join forces and buy me this for Mother's Day:
Browsing through it on Amazon is an ethereal experience.
It is really horrible to imagine my Nana permanently mentally impaired. I know so much about neuroplasticity because of all the lay reading I did when Elise was born, and I have some hope, but she has a lot of strikes against her...age, sedentary lifestyle, lack of enthusiasm for new/challenging activities. Still and all the word is that she is in a fighting mood and they'll be starting physical therapy. *sigh*
Aside from being freaked out that my grandparents suddenly appear to be dropping like flies just because I love THEM in their own rights (my Dad's dad has also recently been hospitalized, and I've been talking with him as well...) it's also terrifying to me to feel as though there is some buffer being removed that protects MY parents. Like...once my parents' parents are gone...they're next.
*sigh again*
I set up a flickr account to chronicle my stolen images, btw. I doubt I'll be posting them all here. I'm just altarflame there, too, like most everywhere.
I'm also doing incredibly well with super healthy eating, and feeling good about that...I'm sure I'll expound soon, probably with pictures of weird and wonderful things like cheeseless pizza.
Lastly, Elise's 2nd birthday is May 1. And I am very excited about it. How many THOUSANDS OF TIMES have the Boston peds' words rung through my head? We'll know more in a year - we'll know A LOT MORE in two years, that is huge... And the first, oh, five thousand of them, two years seemed impossible to wait for. "One day at a time", like being boiled in oil to wait and to see what would happen. I am ready to celebrate this miracle child.
So. This has been Surreal Week for the Walker family. I have been having extreme dizziness from antihistamine withdrawal (OF ALL THINGS), Grant is in Tooth Pain Hell, and so both of us are largely useless as my mother calls with updates every few hours because my Nana is in the hospital. She had aneurysm (sp?) surgery a few weeks ago, and it seemed to go very well. We sent flowers and called her and it seemed all good. But it turns out that some thing they did wrong in there was blocking an artery from supplying blood to her kidneys. Two weeks of undiagnosed kidney failure later...and we're dealing with all kinds of horrible effects. She's in the ICU, with my poor mother who is still horribly grieving for her Dad that JUST DIED two weeks ago (her parents are/were only 61 years old here...) Nana has significant neurological damage from swelling around her brain from excess fluid buildup while her kidneys weren't working. She can't move one leg, can't see well, and doesn't know what year it is...this is my Nana who I lived with throughout high school, who we go to be with every year for Christmas Eve, who has a full time job and takes vacations...who's husband that is still fit and active is 18 years older than her.
As I've sat in my office with the room spinning, trying to avoid standing, trying not to dwell, trying to help Grant feel better with heating pads and liquid tylenol and chewable Motrin because he can't take pills and hot tea and distractions of every womanly sort that can be mustered when one feels that they're falling down while just sitting there...I've been doing a lot of browsing around online.
And I've found some awesome stuff! For instance. Alexander McQueen, who I think rocks, has designed some clothes for Beth Ditto. Who is fat. And unashamed of it. And beautiful anyway, in a way that SHOULDN'T BE SO SHOCKING. Like...ok. I am not someone who thinks all fat is good fat or that it's awesome to be huge, I understand there are real health risks and it's important not to forget that. But, I also know that you can take two people and feed them both the same thing every day, and one will get fat while the other stays thin. And I know that a large proportion of Americans are overweight, and yet we continue to idolize EXTREME thinness as the only thing fit to be displayed in any arena, and eating disorders and our young girls and blah blah blah. So anyway this singer who has so many cool things to say has nude magazine covers, she has spandex costumes for onstage, she says that growing up her mom and grandmother would tell her not to wear a bikini but SHE never thought she shouldn't wear a bikini. She thought she wanted to wear a bikini. She thought it was just her body and not so different from a lot of other bodies and what the heck was the big deal that the mere sight of her could offend?
One of the Alexander McQueen getups.
Singing for The Gossip at various concerts.
Covers.
Even though I am not really into nudity on magazine covers in general...I can't help but think how AMAZING it would be if there were more like THAT in the grocery store checkout lines. How different all the ladies might feel as they checked out. I mean, wtf, there are guys that like this. This is what was being painted as the pinnacle of beauty for, oh, THOUSANDS OF YEARS. Why do we try to program everyone to think only one thing is beautiful now?
I am also really hoping my kids join forces and buy me this for Mother's Day:
Browsing through it on Amazon is an ethereal experience.
It is really horrible to imagine my Nana permanently mentally impaired. I know so much about neuroplasticity because of all the lay reading I did when Elise was born, and I have some hope, but she has a lot of strikes against her...age, sedentary lifestyle, lack of enthusiasm for new/challenging activities. Still and all the word is that she is in a fighting mood and they'll be starting physical therapy. *sigh*
Aside from being freaked out that my grandparents suddenly appear to be dropping like flies just because I love THEM in their own rights (my Dad's dad has also recently been hospitalized, and I've been talking with him as well...) it's also terrifying to me to feel as though there is some buffer being removed that protects MY parents. Like...once my parents' parents are gone...they're next.
*sigh again*
I set up a flickr account to chronicle my stolen images, btw. I doubt I'll be posting them all here. I'm just altarflame there, too, like most everywhere.
I'm also doing incredibly well with super healthy eating, and feeling good about that...I'm sure I'll expound soon, probably with pictures of weird and wonderful things like cheeseless pizza.
Lastly, Elise's 2nd birthday is May 1. And I am very excited about it. How many THOUSANDS OF TIMES have the Boston peds' words rung through my head? We'll know more in a year - we'll know A LOT MORE in two years, that is huge... And the first, oh, five thousand of them, two years seemed impossible to wait for. "One day at a time", like being boiled in oil to wait and to see what would happen. I am ready to celebrate this miracle child.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2009-04-27 12:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-04-27 05:04 pm (UTC)Thank you :)
no subject
Date: 2009-04-27 01:32 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-04-27 05:05 pm (UTC)I'm starting to really worry Grant has an infection, ugh...he has an appointment for tomorrow afternoon but I'm feeling nervous about him even waiting that long :/
no subject
Date: 2009-04-27 06:14 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-04-27 02:07 pm (UTC)As for the nudity...You know how you look at that woman and thing wow, well that's how I look at you. Your 'size' isn't an issue to me, you are so incredibly beautiful from the OUTSIDE. I cannot speak of your inside because there are no words to describe that beauty.
(now just blush and say thank you)
no subject
Date: 2009-04-27 05:06 pm (UTC)The Gossip
Date: 2009-04-27 03:33 pm (UTC)Re: The Gossip
Date: 2009-04-27 05:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-04-27 05:19 pm (UTC)I totally know what you mean. My fat is my lack of self control, my gluttony, my dissatisfaction with life in general driving me to eat, blah blah blah. Also my abdomen is surgeries gone by and wounds that won't heal, ugh.
Still and all I think there is value in seeing something other than runway models portrayed as sexy and sensuous.
no subject
Date: 2009-04-27 04:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-04-27 04:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-04-27 05:12 pm (UTC)I love that picture overall though.
As for shiny spandex, it is pretty ridiculous in general I agree.
no subject
Date: 2009-04-27 06:38 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-04-27 04:41 pm (UTC)It's hard to believe that 2 years have gone by in a flash Elise and your children are very special :)
I am going to visit my family out west in June I can't wait :o)
and I just thought you might be interested in a community here on livejournal it called "fatshionista" lots of interesting people and ideas there hope you look at it ..
take care !
no subject
Date: 2009-04-27 05:17 pm (UTC)I know about fatshionista....it doesn't really do anything for me. I am smaller than most of those chicks by kind of a lot and trying to lose, so I sort of feel out of place. Just like in stores :p I can't wear any standard sizes but plus sizes are too big. It's that in between-y 12-20 stuff. Although admittedly the high end of that range lately. That community also seems to be kind of a drama pit judging from some things I've seen referenced on my friends' page...
But thank you! And yeah, about visiting family ENJOY IT. It never crossed my mind to think "This could be the last Christmas Eve gathering" back in December, that is for sure.
no subject
Date: 2009-04-27 11:48 pm (UTC)anyhow I forgot to mention that I really like that last picture :)
no subject
Date: 2009-04-28 05:07 pm (UTC)