My Dynamic (and non-Neuro-Typical) Duo
Feb. 27th, 2008 05:24 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
altarflameI've been thinking about Ananda being dyslexic, as Aaron's reading and writing abilities rapidly approach hers (he's just over a year younger than her and more than a year behind in every other way, since she's so advanced EXCEPT for these areas). Some of you may remember me mentioning dyslexia as a possibility with her as far back as two years ago - her biological father has it and it is hereditary, so while I wasn't, like, on guard for it or anything I did think of it when she started doing the really stereoptypical things like not being able to tell b, d, p and q apart reliably or writing most numbers backwards. Some quick research showed me that was not AT ALL enough to make a diagnosis like that, though, and that most people aren't comfortable diagnosing a 5 year old, anyway. As months passed, I watched her do things like read "was" as "saw" and write whole sentences backwards - mirror image backwards, each letter backwards, each word, and the whole thing from right to left. As if you were seeing it in a mirror. And she would have no idea. I got my yearly FPEA (Florida Parent Educators' Association) "Guide to Homeschooling" last Fall and it really made me stop and think, yeah, this is her - it had a fairly extensive article along with a list of signs that was her to a T. It included things I hadn't connected with dyslexia before, such as not recognizing a new or unique word/name you're reading again and again, but continuing to be stumped by it each time you see it (within a single page, for example, we were seeing Mr Rosso every other sentence, and EVERY SINGLE TIME she had to stop confused and struggle to sound out "Rosso" - just no recognition). And not being able to read in the car or if a book is held up in the air, as well as if it's laying down on a flat, stationary surface (she almost can't read at all, if it's up or in the car). The article talked a lot about the advantages of homeschooling a kid like this because of the necessary extra attention and one-on-one, along with really saving their self-esteem from the suckiness of being singled out or put in LD classes.
Tonight I did more copious research and came across some identical and pretty comprehensive lists of symptoms that cover many areas - reading, writing, motor skills, cognition, behavior, all kinds of things. The entire list can be viewed here, among other places - http://www.dyslexia.com/library/symptoms.htm but I copied and pasted all the relevant-to-Annie bits under a cut here. Which was almost all of it. It was really like a revelation to read this and see it all interconnected...Grant and I both were kind of blown away. It's like, "Our daughter described and understood by strangers".
General
-Appears bright, highly intelligent, and articulate but unable to read, write, or spell at grade level.
-labeled "not trying hard enough," or "behavior problem."
-Isn't "behind enough" or "bad enough" to be helped in the school setting.
-High in IQ, yet may not test well academically; tests well orally, but not written.
-hides or covers up weaknesses with ingenious compensatory strategies; easily frustrated and emotional about school reading or testing.
-talented in art, drama, music, story-telling, designing
-Seems to daydream often; gets lost easily or loses track of time.
Vision, Reading, and Spelling
-Complains of dizziness, headaches or stomach aches while reading.
-Confused by letters, numbers, words, sequences, or verbal explanations.
-Reading or writing shows repetitions, additions, transpositions, omissions, substitutions, and reversals in letters, numbers and/or words.
-Complains of feeling or seeing non-existent movement while reading, writing, or copying.
-Spells phonetically and inconsistently.
Hearing and Speech
-Difficulty putting thoughts into words; speaks in halting phrases; leaves sentences incomplete; stutters under stress
Writing and Motor Skills
-Clumsy, uncoordinated, poor at ball or team sports; difficulties with fine and/or gross motor skills and tasks; prone to motion-sickness.
-often confuses left/right
Math and Time Management
-Can count, but has difficulty counting objects
-Can do arithmetic, but fails word problems
Memory and Cognition
-Excellent long-term memory for experiences, locations, and faces.
-Thinks primarily with images and feeling, not sounds or words (little internal dialogue).
Behavior, Health, Development and Personality
-Can be too quiet.
-Had unusually early or late developmental stages (talking, tying shoes)
-Unusually low tolerance for pain.
-Mistakes and symptoms increase dramatically with confusion, time pressure, emotional stress, or poor health.
I was just going to sit on this, but Grant thought it was so obvious that I present it to her honestly and without taboos attached. I'm so glad he's around to give me input like that:
I talked to HER about dyslexia, in a very neutral way - that her brain works differently and it makes sense, genetically with Bobby, and it explains a lot of things like how she used to stutter very badly when she felt self conscious, and how she gets so incredibly upset when I want her to read aloud, sometimes, and just REFUSES until it escalates into a battle of wills (when she's otherwise totally compliant). We talked about how we can work through it together knowing these things and also how it is part of why she has always been such a great painter and incredible dancer, and so creative with making up stories and building things. How she gets carsick. I think she's proud of it in the end and sort of relieved, because (G was totally right about this) she has definitely "noticed" something is up by now - I mean she'll get an entire page of math work right, but every single digit will be backwards and she has to go back and erase and write them ALL again. Almost every time. I explain something verbally, and she just looks at me confused, and I try again, and she's more baffled, and I get to where I'm thinking ANANDA YOU TALK LIKE A GENIUS AND UNDERSTAND VERY COMPLEX STUFF, THIS IS JUST SIMPLE DIRECTIONS. The other day she came up to me and said, "Why do you call these drinks 'Odwalla' when the bottle says 'DoWalla'?" Earlier she asked me, "Is 'unless' spelled 's-e-l-l-u-n"? We looked around Amazon together and ordered two books - The Gift of Dyslexia, which is mostly for me, and "My name isBrain Brian", a chapter book about a boy with undiagnosed dyslexia struggling through school and then figuring things out and getting better.
We had this talk along with Aaron, during our "the three of us uninterrupted" talking before bedtime reading. I also told Aaron all about SID for the first time. He was totally shocked to learn that when he was Isaac's age, he couldn't say anything well enough to be understood by strangers, and he only vaguely remembers demanding long sleeves and soft long pants every single day on pain of thrashing tantrums for more than a year. He thinks it's hilarious that he had to go to bed in pitch black darkness to sleep as a baby and REALLY hilarious that this is why we started doing massages and why we got a trampoline (deep tissue massage and jumping are two of the most useful therapies, though we also just "keep it in mind" all the time by pulling him aside to do things isolated from distractions and remembering that he doesn't always understand what's appropriate socially). And I talked up the awesome things about how it helps him appreciate beauty so much more than most kids, and it's why he LOVES just walking through JoAnn's touching every piece of fabric he can get his hands on, and why he can smell or hear something way before the rest of us. I think it seemed like a magic trick to him, that I realized all these things about him that he didn't and that there is a serious motivation between things he didn't realize I was purposely doing (like when he said, with a grin, "So THAAAAAT'S why anytime I'm going crazy you tell me to go jump on the trampoline"). In the end they were both actually feeling all special and unique, with expanded self-awareness, so I say I've done my job...I'm wondering in a way why we waited so long to let Aaron hear the letters "SID", but at the same time I'm glad we did because it's not really something limiting him now. He was like an SID case-study when we started understanding it...it's good to be able to say a lot of "remember" and not quite so much "That's why..." SID is actually something you can usually, hopefully outgrow, as long as it's well-treated, and he seems to be doing that. Ananda is alright with her "thing" being long-term since she sees it, in addition to making some things harder, as making her a brilliant artiste, and she is all about anything that can make her "weird" or "strange" lately anyway, saying "weird is cool!" and "strange is good!" constantly. Me all over again, that girl :p
I nearly died when at the end of this talk Aaron demanded, as if it all suddenly made sense, "So what the heck is wrong with ISAAC?!" We all laughed a lot while I tried to explain that Isaac is just "high needs", and "intense", some people say "spirited". Annie said, "Yeah, that means he's just a pain in the butt" ;) I think there are just lines with Isaac, that usually line up for people, but with him they don't - like for me, if things are awesome, I'm REALLY happy. If things are awesome, Isaac is a little bit happy. If they're good, he's neutral. If things are neutral, he's upset. If things are a little bad, he's totally miserable. It's like it just takes a lot more to push him "up", mood-wise. I have told Grant a lot of times that I really hope he can grow out of it, because I imagine him as he is turning into an adult that just doesn't know how to be happy, and basically never is. But a very clever, articulate, adorable miserable person with freckles and bright blue eyes :p
I am happily waiting on a whole gaggle of packages. I'll cut them because this is getting really long.
-journal for Aaron
-sandals, sneakers, a bathingsuit and new babylegs, for Elise, for her first birthday coming up
-6 new Fuzzi Bunz and one of the ADORABLE new Bummis print covers, since our old diapers that are on their third baby are really falling to pieces
-two dyslexia books and one new Shel Silverstein, from Amazon
Tonight I did more copious research and came across some identical and pretty comprehensive lists of symptoms that cover many areas - reading, writing, motor skills, cognition, behavior, all kinds of things. The entire list can be viewed here, among other places - http://www.dyslexia.com/library/symptoms.htm but I copied and pasted all the relevant-to-Annie bits under a cut here. Which was almost all of it. It was really like a revelation to read this and see it all interconnected...Grant and I both were kind of blown away. It's like, "Our daughter described and understood by strangers".
General
-Appears bright, highly intelligent, and articulate but unable to read, write, or spell at grade level.
-labeled "not trying hard enough," or "behavior problem."
-Isn't "behind enough" or "bad enough" to be helped in the school setting.
-High in IQ, yet may not test well academically; tests well orally, but not written.
-hides or covers up weaknesses with ingenious compensatory strategies; easily frustrated and emotional about school reading or testing.
-talented in art, drama, music, story-telling, designing
-Seems to daydream often; gets lost easily or loses track of time.
Vision, Reading, and Spelling
-Complains of dizziness, headaches or stomach aches while reading.
-Confused by letters, numbers, words, sequences, or verbal explanations.
-Reading or writing shows repetitions, additions, transpositions, omissions, substitutions, and reversals in letters, numbers and/or words.
-Complains of feeling or seeing non-existent movement while reading, writing, or copying.
-Spells phonetically and inconsistently.
Hearing and Speech
-Difficulty putting thoughts into words; speaks in halting phrases; leaves sentences incomplete; stutters under stress
Writing and Motor Skills
-Clumsy, uncoordinated, poor at ball or team sports; difficulties with fine and/or gross motor skills and tasks; prone to motion-sickness.
-often confuses left/right
Math and Time Management
-Can count, but has difficulty counting objects
-Can do arithmetic, but fails word problems
Memory and Cognition
-Excellent long-term memory for experiences, locations, and faces.
-Thinks primarily with images and feeling, not sounds or words (little internal dialogue).
Behavior, Health, Development and Personality
-Can be too quiet.
-Had unusually early or late developmental stages (talking, tying shoes)
-Unusually low tolerance for pain.
-Mistakes and symptoms increase dramatically with confusion, time pressure, emotional stress, or poor health.
I was just going to sit on this, but Grant thought it was so obvious that I present it to her honestly and without taboos attached. I'm so glad he's around to give me input like that:
I talked to HER about dyslexia, in a very neutral way - that her brain works differently and it makes sense, genetically with Bobby, and it explains a lot of things like how she used to stutter very badly when she felt self conscious, and how she gets so incredibly upset when I want her to read aloud, sometimes, and just REFUSES until it escalates into a battle of wills (when she's otherwise totally compliant). We talked about how we can work through it together knowing these things and also how it is part of why she has always been such a great painter and incredible dancer, and so creative with making up stories and building things. How she gets carsick. I think she's proud of it in the end and sort of relieved, because (G was totally right about this) she has definitely "noticed" something is up by now - I mean she'll get an entire page of math work right, but every single digit will be backwards and she has to go back and erase and write them ALL again. Almost every time. I explain something verbally, and she just looks at me confused, and I try again, and she's more baffled, and I get to where I'm thinking ANANDA YOU TALK LIKE A GENIUS AND UNDERSTAND VERY COMPLEX STUFF, THIS IS JUST SIMPLE DIRECTIONS. The other day she came up to me and said, "Why do you call these drinks 'Odwalla' when the bottle says 'DoWalla'?" Earlier she asked me, "Is 'unless' spelled 's-e-l-l-u-n"? We looked around Amazon together and ordered two books - The Gift of Dyslexia, which is mostly for me, and "My name is
We had this talk along with Aaron, during our "the three of us uninterrupted" talking before bedtime reading. I also told Aaron all about SID for the first time. He was totally shocked to learn that when he was Isaac's age, he couldn't say anything well enough to be understood by strangers, and he only vaguely remembers demanding long sleeves and soft long pants every single day on pain of thrashing tantrums for more than a year. He thinks it's hilarious that he had to go to bed in pitch black darkness to sleep as a baby and REALLY hilarious that this is why we started doing massages and why we got a trampoline (deep tissue massage and jumping are two of the most useful therapies, though we also just "keep it in mind" all the time by pulling him aside to do things isolated from distractions and remembering that he doesn't always understand what's appropriate socially). And I talked up the awesome things about how it helps him appreciate beauty so much more than most kids, and it's why he LOVES just walking through JoAnn's touching every piece of fabric he can get his hands on, and why he can smell or hear something way before the rest of us. I think it seemed like a magic trick to him, that I realized all these things about him that he didn't and that there is a serious motivation between things he didn't realize I was purposely doing (like when he said, with a grin, "So THAAAAAT'S why anytime I'm going crazy you tell me to go jump on the trampoline"). In the end they were both actually feeling all special and unique, with expanded self-awareness, so I say I've done my job...I'm wondering in a way why we waited so long to let Aaron hear the letters "SID", but at the same time I'm glad we did because it's not really something limiting him now. He was like an SID case-study when we started understanding it...it's good to be able to say a lot of "remember" and not quite so much "That's why..." SID is actually something you can usually, hopefully outgrow, as long as it's well-treated, and he seems to be doing that. Ananda is alright with her "thing" being long-term since she sees it, in addition to making some things harder, as making her a brilliant artiste, and she is all about anything that can make her "weird" or "strange" lately anyway, saying "weird is cool!" and "strange is good!" constantly. Me all over again, that girl :p
I nearly died when at the end of this talk Aaron demanded, as if it all suddenly made sense, "So what the heck is wrong with ISAAC?!" We all laughed a lot while I tried to explain that Isaac is just "high needs", and "intense", some people say "spirited". Annie said, "Yeah, that means he's just a pain in the butt" ;) I think there are just lines with Isaac, that usually line up for people, but with him they don't - like for me, if things are awesome, I'm REALLY happy. If things are awesome, Isaac is a little bit happy. If they're good, he's neutral. If things are neutral, he's upset. If things are a little bad, he's totally miserable. It's like it just takes a lot more to push him "up", mood-wise. I have told Grant a lot of times that I really hope he can grow out of it, because I imagine him as he is turning into an adult that just doesn't know how to be happy, and basically never is. But a very clever, articulate, adorable miserable person with freckles and bright blue eyes :p
I am happily waiting on a whole gaggle of packages. I'll cut them because this is getting really long.
-journal for Aaron
-sandals, sneakers, a bathingsuit and new babylegs, for Elise, for her first birthday coming up
-6 new Fuzzi Bunz and one of the ADORABLE new Bummis print covers, since our old diapers that are on their third baby are really falling to pieces
-two dyslexia books and one new Shel Silverstein, from Amazon
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2008-02-27 01:57 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-02-27 03:30 pm (UTC)He's made so much progress after we had a talk about and continue to talk about it. I think you're just an awesome mom (and Grant is a kick tushie dad.)
no subject
Date: 2008-02-27 03:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-02-27 04:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-02-27 05:44 pm (UTC)(That is how you and I graduated in the top of our classes without any real math skills to show in tow.)
"I nearly died when at the end of this talk Aaron demanded, as if it all suddenly made sense, "So what the heck is wrong with ISAAC?!"
Oh man, that is funny. I think that Isaac is just... an easily aggitated little hamster. But hamsters are cool.
BTW, when I saw the title of your entry I thought it was going to be all about the craziness that is Jake and Elise.