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altarflameOh man, this rollercoaster of a pregnancy I'm on.
I got woken up by the phone ringing - it was the birth center. Shari had someone else call to tell me that, no, I cannot meet Nancy Wainer there, and, no, I cannot have prenatal care there if she knows I've got a labor attendant lined up somewhere. I just don't know about that woman. She really has given me more of a chance than anyone else ever had, really did help make my pregnancy with Jake WONDERFUL, and really did take some major legal risks for her center by having me there. But in retrospect it's SO GLARINGLY OBVIOUS TO ME that if I had had what other women that go to her have - support, that is, and her experience at their disposal - I would not have ended up with a 4th c-section. I saw her with my sister, it was ok your contractions are coming right on top of each other and you're getting exhausted, lay down and let's have a backrub, or ok I can tell this bone is the only thing holding back that head, so let's change position like this and get him under it so he can slide out. I didn't get anything like that, I got "If you show up in transition, we have no choice but to take you", all with her knowing I'd never experienced labor at all and would be driving over an hour by highway to get there. I don't *blame her* perse because, well, I do understand that in a lot of ways her hands were tied...but I think it was BAD for me, looking back, to have that "kind of sort of maybe" as my labor plan. Life is a journey and all that, I guess...
Anyway, I was feeling rather deflated about that. And I have this other call I've been meaning to make - Nancy's friend Valerie, the midwife who "flies all over the world doing vbacs" and does vbacs after 3, 4, and 5 c/s "all the time". I was mostly doing this call to fulfill my obligation to call - as in, I wanted to be able to say "Yes, and she said ___" to Nancy next time she asks if I called her.
Well, the woman is awesome and now I really do feel like I have options. She's attended a vbac after SEVEN and a vbac after EIGHT c/s - and both of those women (gasp) had their babies just fine. We talked for awhile and it was really cool. I am in love with Nancy and her philosophies, because they both are very pro-attended (home)birth in the sense that a non-interventive, experienced midwife can guide a laboring woman along in crucial ways. I don't feel badly about other people choosing to UC, but I also feel like I personally want labor support that I can trust to not screw me over. I want someone there to say, "That amount of blood is totally normal, don't worry" or "This is weird, maybe we can try this to see if it helps". For instance Valerie was talking about how different my labor with Jake might have gone, had I had someone there to remind me to eat and sleep in the beginning, when I had the chance, so that I wouldn't be that much more tired later, or to give me ideas to do this or that thing to alter his positioning so he could descend. She said she's had mothers so enrapt with their newborns, cooing love and adoration, that they don't even realize the kid isn't breathing yet and needs some help. Nancy mentioned someone who transferred for something out of fear, and ended up sectioned, whereas if she'd had a midwife there to reassure her she totally could have had a natural birth. It does not sound fearful to me at all this way, just practical and beneficial. My hat is still off to anyone who has the intuitive inner peace and confidence that make a UC the best thing for them, it's just such a breath of fresh air to talk to these amazing women who believe women's bodies know what to do on their own and hospitals do more harm than good, but also would want support themselves, if they were laboring.
Anyway, we could go to Valerie, or she could come to us, depending on her schedule - she's gonna call me back tomorrow after she checks her calendar (she was out on a cell phone). I realized a little while ago that I don't even know where she is yet :x Generally speaking if we come to her, it's $3k, if she comes to us, it's $3k and a plane ticket, and both with the stipulation that if for any reason a vaginal birth with her does not pan out, it's only $1k because she did still work hard.
So I don't know what's going to happen exactly, only that I now have a choice of two attendants who are both uber qualified and TOTALLY AWESOME. Valerie seems cheaper, a little more friendly and casual, and she's older (65, though she doesn't sound like it at all). Nancy is a little more expensive, still very nice and polite just not quite as layed back. Valerie gets back to me with her schedule tomorrow, Nancy will be in Florida in about a week. The trip to Boston has the great perk of being a Tour Of East Coast LJ'ers ;) - but that can't really be what makes or breaks it for us.
I got woken up by the phone ringing - it was the birth center. Shari had someone else call to tell me that, no, I cannot meet Nancy Wainer there, and, no, I cannot have prenatal care there if she knows I've got a labor attendant lined up somewhere. I just don't know about that woman. She really has given me more of a chance than anyone else ever had, really did help make my pregnancy with Jake WONDERFUL, and really did take some major legal risks for her center by having me there. But in retrospect it's SO GLARINGLY OBVIOUS TO ME that if I had had what other women that go to her have - support, that is, and her experience at their disposal - I would not have ended up with a 4th c-section. I saw her with my sister, it was ok your contractions are coming right on top of each other and you're getting exhausted, lay down and let's have a backrub, or ok I can tell this bone is the only thing holding back that head, so let's change position like this and get him under it so he can slide out. I didn't get anything like that, I got "If you show up in transition, we have no choice but to take you", all with her knowing I'd never experienced labor at all and would be driving over an hour by highway to get there. I don't *blame her* perse because, well, I do understand that in a lot of ways her hands were tied...but I think it was BAD for me, looking back, to have that "kind of sort of maybe" as my labor plan. Life is a journey and all that, I guess...
Anyway, I was feeling rather deflated about that. And I have this other call I've been meaning to make - Nancy's friend Valerie, the midwife who "flies all over the world doing vbacs" and does vbacs after 3, 4, and 5 c/s "all the time". I was mostly doing this call to fulfill my obligation to call - as in, I wanted to be able to say "Yes, and she said ___" to Nancy next time she asks if I called her.
Well, the woman is awesome and now I really do feel like I have options. She's attended a vbac after SEVEN and a vbac after EIGHT c/s - and both of those women (gasp) had their babies just fine. We talked for awhile and it was really cool. I am in love with Nancy and her philosophies, because they both are very pro-attended (home)birth in the sense that a non-interventive, experienced midwife can guide a laboring woman along in crucial ways. I don't feel badly about other people choosing to UC, but I also feel like I personally want labor support that I can trust to not screw me over. I want someone there to say, "That amount of blood is totally normal, don't worry" or "This is weird, maybe we can try this to see if it helps". For instance Valerie was talking about how different my labor with Jake might have gone, had I had someone there to remind me to eat and sleep in the beginning, when I had the chance, so that I wouldn't be that much more tired later, or to give me ideas to do this or that thing to alter his positioning so he could descend. She said she's had mothers so enrapt with their newborns, cooing love and adoration, that they don't even realize the kid isn't breathing yet and needs some help. Nancy mentioned someone who transferred for something out of fear, and ended up sectioned, whereas if she'd had a midwife there to reassure her she totally could have had a natural birth. It does not sound fearful to me at all this way, just practical and beneficial. My hat is still off to anyone who has the intuitive inner peace and confidence that make a UC the best thing for them, it's just such a breath of fresh air to talk to these amazing women who believe women's bodies know what to do on their own and hospitals do more harm than good, but also would want support themselves, if they were laboring.
Anyway, we could go to Valerie, or she could come to us, depending on her schedule - she's gonna call me back tomorrow after she checks her calendar (she was out on a cell phone). I realized a little while ago that I don't even know where she is yet :x Generally speaking if we come to her, it's $3k, if she comes to us, it's $3k and a plane ticket, and both with the stipulation that if for any reason a vaginal birth with her does not pan out, it's only $1k because she did still work hard.
So I don't know what's going to happen exactly, only that I now have a choice of two attendants who are both uber qualified and TOTALLY AWESOME. Valerie seems cheaper, a little more friendly and casual, and she's older (65, though she doesn't sound like it at all). Nancy is a little more expensive, still very nice and polite just not quite as layed back. Valerie gets back to me with her schedule tomorrow, Nancy will be in Florida in about a week. The trip to Boston has the great perk of being a Tour Of East Coast LJ'ers ;) - but that can't really be what makes or breaks it for us.
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Date: 2007-01-26 07:23 pm (UTC)Then again, my mom is at St. Andrews like 3-4 times a week ;P
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Date: 2007-01-27 08:44 pm (UTC)