altarflame: (Default)
I'm finally starting to sort of, almost be able to bear this "up early, bed at a decent hour" (day in and day out, the horror) shit. Clearly, I still haven't figured out how to update my lj while on this schedule, but I've stopped constantly feeling depressed and surreal about it in the back of my mind. Keeping in mind that I am someone who didn't even sleep at night much as a kid and that my long term life plans involve having an afternoon-evening psych practice and/or writing books late at night.

Sometimes, like yesterday as I served all of my kids breakfast and assigned their schoolwork before leaving the house at 8:30 AM to bike Elise to preschool and myself to biology, I swear I can hear Rocky music drifting into my house from somewhere.

Today I got up early enough to take a shower and study before I woke them, which was before preschool and biology O_o I even crocheted a chain for a pendant I thought would go with my outfit, on my way out the door ;)

Biology in 6 weeks is pretty intense. We had a test on an entire chapter when we arrived today, then an entire chapter's worth of lecture for an hour and a half (the kind where you have to scramble and flip around in the book and still can't copy all the notes effectively), and got the test on that before we left. I felt like a complete badass because even though I was last to receive the 2nd test (sitting so far from the teacher), I had finished it, gotten my stuff together and was out the door while everyone else was still frowning down at their papers.

FYI, teacher-guy has added lawsuits leveled against the FDA, various senators personally fearing him and how he used to irrigate his farm to his list of accomplishments. I actually found one the lawsuits via google.

I'm on my way out the door with Aaron to walk and get my Beastie right now, and then Jake and I are gonna walk to the store for some lunch/tea things, so...I think I'm just going to end this, because if I try to leave it open to finish later it's going to go the way of the last three entries I tried that with and fade into oblivion.
altarflame: (Default)
I feel so overwhelmed. I feel like whatshisname Dante in Clerks - "I'm not even supposed to BE HERE today!" but "I'm not even supposed to BE AWAKE yet!"

I had to take Grant to work, so that means get up at 7:30 and drive for half an hour or so.

Then, many a phone call about my financial aid garbage for school. Melissa, the stuff I'm dealing with, it's hard for me to imagine a phone call fixing anything. Thank you for your offer and I may use it in the future but I think I'm just dealing with the fallout of having dropped out unceremoniously (due to medical hoohaw) too many times too many years ago. For instance, they want documentation for why I am taking this one math class for the third time, but the two prior times I took it were in 2000 and 2001, and all my medical records from that time are shredded and gone. So the best I could do was get them letterhead stating I was a patient of an OB during those semesters but that there are no records left to document a damn thing beyond that. I'm always dealing with something like this situation this morning where I learn that my financial aid award for the summer is not showing up due to a thing where Spring grades have to be posted before summer awards get approved, but I didn't go during Spring, so I'm gonna have to have someone in financial aid manually apply my award since fafsa does show it - except all the financial aid people are in a meeting all day today. It needs to get applied so I can file an appeal that can take over two weeks, which is beyond my April 11 payment-due date, so I'm gonna need a payment extension from the Dean of Student Services, because I was urged to register when I did since the classes I needed were filling up... SO OVER IT.

I have all of A and A's schoolwork for the day layed out ready. Isaac's friend Adam is coming over from 1:30-4:30 (so I should really clean up). I have to pick Grant up at 5 and be at counseling by 6 and have a dinner plan. I want to take a nap pretty desperately but my kids aren't even up yet and have to be drug out of bed for our continuing mission in improving schedules. Blah blah blah.

DID I MENTION I'M ON DAY 3 of eating to kill myself Eat to Live? I really have a hard time coping with it without a lot of sex to make up for the food I'm not having. Basically I have to be shoving something in my body one way or the other as often as possible o_O

Today I'm contemplating changing my choice of major. I am psych so far but contemplating social work after some research into income and job options. Either way I'm open to/planning on a Masters...it requires more research into Florida licensure laws. I can be a licensed social worker who does therapy sessions - like the one I saw for PTSD, who did EMDR with me and all that - with a Masters....then again it looks like I could be licensed for marriage and family counseling with a masters in psych, like the dude Grant and I are seeing now. There are a lot more options for work in mental health and rehab facilities of all types with the SW degree though, you have to go on to a doctorate level for many things in psych. There are also about a million $25-40k a year jobs you can get with just a BA in SW whereas you can be a manager at Starbucks, with a BA in psych.

For whatever arbitrary reason, a masters degree sounds really challenging and intriguing in a doable way, to me, time and effort and money wise with my local schools and kids' ages factored in - whereas a doctorate is just like...not realistic, would take way too long, and isn't even something I'm interested in pursuing.

Ok, back to This Day.

May 2017

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