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Apr. 19th, 2008 02:42 amNight before last, I decided to clean the bathroom before I went to bed. I was REALLY, really, really tired already, just deliriously tired, and it was SO late, but the bathroom was horrific like only a bathroom that three little boys use can be. Jake had squeezed a whole tube of toothpaste out all over the top of the toilet, Isaac had been playing in the sink for a long time and gotten water everywhere that then mixed with someone's pee, and Aaron had used soap and water to "clean" the mirrors...this sort of scene can happen within a single hour here, but this time it even involved the full trash can getting knocked over - YUCK. And having stumbled around running laundry through, sweeping and mopping and scrubbing the dining table and doing more dishes til 3 am, I forgot about it until I went in there to brush my teeth before bed. UGH.
I don't even remember falling into bed, but then the next morning - yesterday morning - I woke up earlier than usual because my stomach was hurting TERRIBLY. I went to the nice clean bathroom that nobody had been in since I left it last and was just crampy, gassy, it was horrible pain, but I couldn't go to the bathroom. Then waves of nausea hit. Then I started puking.
I was remembering my surgeon telling me that if my intestines become re-blocked, there won't be any lead up, it will come out of nowhere like a sudden afternoon thunderstorm and I'll know. I was sitting on my bed scared half to death, crying and miserable while Grant tried to calm Elise and Jake down without me nursing them, thinking I would be back in the hospital in a couple of hours and just, you know. Am I going to die, those bastards got off cheap with this settlement, I can't deal with this, all that sort of thing. I actually got far enough to be thinking, damnitt I can't die before the life insurance kicks in, how will Grant take care of the kids? And I won't ever get to do my writing or live in the new house. Please remember that the last time I felt nauseus, I felt it for an entire month and was right that I WAS dying, and that the last time I puked was right before I went to the ER and was rushed into emergency surgery...
I prayed for a sign, and...haha, this is sort of funny in retrospect but I started having torrential diarrhea soon after that and was like, ooooh AWESOME THIS IS JUST A VIRUS!!! Hallelujiah!!! I love not being dead *Barf*
Really after a few more hours it was more like *moan* *struggling to keep head up* this isn't hell...it can't be hell...the hospital would be hell...this will be over soon...really... with a puke bowl in my lap.
You haven't even heard the gross part yet. Everyone else has been getting sick, but they all have the oral virus Brian had last week. Coughing, sore mouth and throat, high fever. Totally different. I was thinking, what did I eat that nobody else did? Nothing I could think of...
And then I had this horrible flashback to half-remembering cleaning the bathroom the night before. So that I could brush my teeth. I realized that in my sleepless state I didn't wash my hands at all. I just cleaned it all up, nasty full garbage trash can mixed with pee and water and tons of old toothpaste and all sorts of bath toy dampness, and then brushed my teeth, cupped my hands under the faucet to catch water to rinse my mouth with. And woke up with serious stomach problems a few hours later.
*headdesk*
SO DISGUSTING!!! How could I be so stupid?
Let me give you some interesting further details of this still-unfolding story:
-Because I was totally incapacitated to do anything but nurse Jake and Elise yesterday, and that barely, and Grant was really sick too, the house was so trashed by today that I spent hours and hours cleaning it...and at the end of it, the bathroom is a total disaster again. Isaac somehow overflowed the (poopy) toilet within 10 minutes of Jake squeezing out some more toothpaste, all right after Ananda and Elise got out of the tub (leaving bath toys everywhere). I've done the initial cleanup (towels on the floor, toys in the tub) but still have to do the rest. And it's 2 am. Rest assured I will wash my damned hands.
-Now Grant's GOT to go to work tomorrow no matter what, and I'm getting the oral virus. I've been coughing for a few hours and now I have a fever.
Believe it or not, I am still happy and grateful to not be in the hospital. And a little bit bitter and frustrated that I'll never be able to just wallow in a stomach virus without some kind of initial terror followed by gratitude again, for the rest of my life.
I am also screwed up enough that I can sort of see the silver lining of this situation jump starting my weight loss plans.
I had a really great day, before cleaning the bathroom the other night. It is ironic actually, because it was also about the whole hospital sponge fiasco - I found a spiral notebook I'd forgotten all about, that I'd been writing in during the weeks before I got admitted. Just a lot of "I actually feel mortal, which I never have before - it's less scary than unrealistic fears of dying, but a LOT more sad" and "I'm waiting for biopsy results and ultrasound results, to know what this unidentified mass in my abdomen is, and I don't understand why I can barely lift my baby and why I wake up feeling like there's no hope everyday". It just made me feel that happy to be alive feeling again, in a big way, and the kids and I were on our way up to Michael's that day on funny craft errands...we were thinking of how Grant can't ever keep track of his hat or sunglasses, the only time they're safe is when they're on his head. So maybe we could have someone else wear them whenever he isn't, like Aaron said maybe we could hire someone to wear his hat and sunglasses in the evening. I said that was way too expensive and finally we arrived on the obvious solution - to make a fake person. We're thinking round, painted styrofoam head with ears and nose carved out of other styrofoam pieces and held with toothpicks, all resting on milkcrates that are wearing a trenchcoat. Or farmer's clothes. We aren't sure yet.
Three things that make me really happy:
-These two sleeping together:
-Posting a picture of my siblings looking like fools at my wedding reception on the internet:
-My across-the-street-neighbors giving us a great used playhouse for free:
Things That Do Not Make Me Happy (other than illness and thoughts of death):
-My kids having visible injuries. Right now Elise has the last of a fading black eye because she was sitting by the tree we have a wooden swing hanging from, and Jake went to swing. "NOOO, JAKE, YOU'LL HIT ELISE!!" yelled Aaron, as I ran to grab the swing. Jake was holding it about 4 feet out from it's normal resting place, where Elise was sitting. "Let it go, now!" Aaron went on with the best of intentions...and Jake did. And it banged her right in the face :/ He felt so bad. She was fine after about a minute of crying, but when it puffed up purple soon after it sure broke MY heart. This was a few hours before they were all roughhousing around with Grant, dogpiling him, and G's fingernail somehow caught Isaac's forehead in a way that left a nasty looking scratch. And he was NOT fine a minute later - he's cried about it a dozen times since, often hysterically and out of the blue...that's just Isaac for you. So for three days now I've been carting around some banged up kids and getting dirty, suspicious looks everywhere I go. No, I did not give my baby a left hook, people. Sheesh.
-Our STUPID PHONES. We have three different cordless phones in this house. Two of them randomly shut off mid-conversation with no warning of any kind, when the indicator says the battery is still half to all the way charged. The other one is lost, and dead, so we can't page it O_o It has been lost and dead for several days. Then there is my cell phone, which is no longer recognizing my charger but instead says "Unauthorized" everytime I try to plug it in (?). All in all I'm getting a little bit tired of this whole deal. Yesterday Grant Sr came in saying Teresa had been trying to get ahold of us for almost 24 hours, and when we managed to get a phone working we saw that my mother had also called - NINE times. It never rang. "You have all that money, you can't buy a phone that works?" is what my sister tells me everytime I accidentally hang up on her. We did! It's lost! Damnitt!
-Speaking of Lost. We're at the beginning of Season 3 now. And it's irritating that I can't seem to avoid spoilers no matter what I do. If I end up surfing late night tv as I try to nurse Jake to sleep, people are talking about it. If I go into TOTALLY UNRELATED comment threads, people branch off talking about it. When I check out at the grocery store, there are teasers on the magazine covers, with photos of actors advertising Season 4 which means that, obviously, they are still around, so that takes out some of the suspense, eh? It didn't seem like the world was on fire for this show before G and I started watching it.
Well, it's really late, so I should go and (tone of misery) clean the bathroom. As an advertisement, though:
Anyone who is local should go to Spellbound Books open mic night tomorrow night. If they want to see my sister singing full on Christina Aguilera gospel, that is. For real, peeps. I think I and/or Mindy may be there reading poetry, too. Shaun comes sometimes and does his...alternative folk songs? You can't really classify Shaun. Other than the lot of us and the owners and their kids and employees you can usually count on at least two aging hippies and a small gaggle of middle schoolers. Come oooooooooooooon Melissa and Alex you know you want to come and I know I want to see you. I'm also absolutely certain there are lurkers reading who live nearby, not least of which because one of you brought me some diapers at LLL once!
I don't even remember falling into bed, but then the next morning - yesterday morning - I woke up earlier than usual because my stomach was hurting TERRIBLY. I went to the nice clean bathroom that nobody had been in since I left it last and was just crampy, gassy, it was horrible pain, but I couldn't go to the bathroom. Then waves of nausea hit. Then I started puking.
I was remembering my surgeon telling me that if my intestines become re-blocked, there won't be any lead up, it will come out of nowhere like a sudden afternoon thunderstorm and I'll know. I was sitting on my bed scared half to death, crying and miserable while Grant tried to calm Elise and Jake down without me nursing them, thinking I would be back in the hospital in a couple of hours and just, you know. Am I going to die, those bastards got off cheap with this settlement, I can't deal with this, all that sort of thing. I actually got far enough to be thinking, damnitt I can't die before the life insurance kicks in, how will Grant take care of the kids? And I won't ever get to do my writing or live in the new house. Please remember that the last time I felt nauseus, I felt it for an entire month and was right that I WAS dying, and that the last time I puked was right before I went to the ER and was rushed into emergency surgery...
I prayed for a sign, and...haha, this is sort of funny in retrospect but I started having torrential diarrhea soon after that and was like, ooooh AWESOME THIS IS JUST A VIRUS!!! Hallelujiah!!! I love not being dead *Barf*
Really after a few more hours it was more like *moan* *struggling to keep head up* this isn't hell...it can't be hell...the hospital would be hell...this will be over soon...really... with a puke bowl in my lap.
You haven't even heard the gross part yet. Everyone else has been getting sick, but they all have the oral virus Brian had last week. Coughing, sore mouth and throat, high fever. Totally different. I was thinking, what did I eat that nobody else did? Nothing I could think of...
And then I had this horrible flashback to half-remembering cleaning the bathroom the night before. So that I could brush my teeth. I realized that in my sleepless state I didn't wash my hands at all. I just cleaned it all up, nasty full garbage trash can mixed with pee and water and tons of old toothpaste and all sorts of bath toy dampness, and then brushed my teeth, cupped my hands under the faucet to catch water to rinse my mouth with. And woke up with serious stomach problems a few hours later.
*headdesk*
SO DISGUSTING!!! How could I be so stupid?
Let me give you some interesting further details of this still-unfolding story:
-Because I was totally incapacitated to do anything but nurse Jake and Elise yesterday, and that barely, and Grant was really sick too, the house was so trashed by today that I spent hours and hours cleaning it...and at the end of it, the bathroom is a total disaster again. Isaac somehow overflowed the (poopy) toilet within 10 minutes of Jake squeezing out some more toothpaste, all right after Ananda and Elise got out of the tub (leaving bath toys everywhere). I've done the initial cleanup (towels on the floor, toys in the tub) but still have to do the rest. And it's 2 am. Rest assured I will wash my damned hands.
-Now Grant's GOT to go to work tomorrow no matter what, and I'm getting the oral virus. I've been coughing for a few hours and now I have a fever.
Believe it or not, I am still happy and grateful to not be in the hospital. And a little bit bitter and frustrated that I'll never be able to just wallow in a stomach virus without some kind of initial terror followed by gratitude again, for the rest of my life.
I am also screwed up enough that I can sort of see the silver lining of this situation jump starting my weight loss plans.
I had a really great day, before cleaning the bathroom the other night. It is ironic actually, because it was also about the whole hospital sponge fiasco - I found a spiral notebook I'd forgotten all about, that I'd been writing in during the weeks before I got admitted. Just a lot of "I actually feel mortal, which I never have before - it's less scary than unrealistic fears of dying, but a LOT more sad" and "I'm waiting for biopsy results and ultrasound results, to know what this unidentified mass in my abdomen is, and I don't understand why I can barely lift my baby and why I wake up feeling like there's no hope everyday". It just made me feel that happy to be alive feeling again, in a big way, and the kids and I were on our way up to Michael's that day on funny craft errands...we were thinking of how Grant can't ever keep track of his hat or sunglasses, the only time they're safe is when they're on his head. So maybe we could have someone else wear them whenever he isn't, like Aaron said maybe we could hire someone to wear his hat and sunglasses in the evening. I said that was way too expensive and finally we arrived on the obvious solution - to make a fake person. We're thinking round, painted styrofoam head with ears and nose carved out of other styrofoam pieces and held with toothpicks, all resting on milkcrates that are wearing a trenchcoat. Or farmer's clothes. We aren't sure yet.
Three things that make me really happy:
-These two sleeping together:
-Posting a picture of my siblings looking like fools at my wedding reception on the internet:
-My across-the-street-neighbors giving us a great used playhouse for free:
Things That Do Not Make Me Happy (other than illness and thoughts of death):
-My kids having visible injuries. Right now Elise has the last of a fading black eye because she was sitting by the tree we have a wooden swing hanging from, and Jake went to swing. "NOOO, JAKE, YOU'LL HIT ELISE!!" yelled Aaron, as I ran to grab the swing. Jake was holding it about 4 feet out from it's normal resting place, where Elise was sitting. "Let it go, now!" Aaron went on with the best of intentions...and Jake did. And it banged her right in the face :/ He felt so bad. She was fine after about a minute of crying, but when it puffed up purple soon after it sure broke MY heart. This was a few hours before they were all roughhousing around with Grant, dogpiling him, and G's fingernail somehow caught Isaac's forehead in a way that left a nasty looking scratch. And he was NOT fine a minute later - he's cried about it a dozen times since, often hysterically and out of the blue...that's just Isaac for you. So for three days now I've been carting around some banged up kids and getting dirty, suspicious looks everywhere I go. No, I did not give my baby a left hook, people. Sheesh.
-Our STUPID PHONES. We have three different cordless phones in this house. Two of them randomly shut off mid-conversation with no warning of any kind, when the indicator says the battery is still half to all the way charged. The other one is lost, and dead, so we can't page it O_o It has been lost and dead for several days. Then there is my cell phone, which is no longer recognizing my charger but instead says "Unauthorized" everytime I try to plug it in (?). All in all I'm getting a little bit tired of this whole deal. Yesterday Grant Sr came in saying Teresa had been trying to get ahold of us for almost 24 hours, and when we managed to get a phone working we saw that my mother had also called - NINE times. It never rang. "You have all that money, you can't buy a phone that works?" is what my sister tells me everytime I accidentally hang up on her. We did! It's lost! Damnitt!
-Speaking of Lost. We're at the beginning of Season 3 now. And it's irritating that I can't seem to avoid spoilers no matter what I do. If I end up surfing late night tv as I try to nurse Jake to sleep, people are talking about it. If I go into TOTALLY UNRELATED comment threads, people branch off talking about it. When I check out at the grocery store, there are teasers on the magazine covers, with photos of actors advertising Season 4 which means that, obviously, they are still around, so that takes out some of the suspense, eh? It didn't seem like the world was on fire for this show before G and I started watching it.
Well, it's really late, so I should go and (tone of misery) clean the bathroom. As an advertisement, though:
Anyone who is local should go to Spellbound Books open mic night tomorrow night. If they want to see my sister singing full on Christina Aguilera gospel, that is. For real, peeps. I think I and/or Mindy may be there reading poetry, too. Shaun comes sometimes and does his...alternative folk songs? You can't really classify Shaun. Other than the lot of us and the owners and their kids and employees you can usually count on at least two aging hippies and a small gaggle of middle schoolers. Come oooooooooooooon Melissa and Alex you know you want to come and I know I want to see you. I'm also absolutely certain there are lurkers reading who live nearby, not least of which because one of you brought me some diapers at LLL once!
