Entries tagged with memo

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DrunkCast

Last night I rambled in bed, late at night, DRUNK, for almost an hour - about various kinds of good news that I've had, and all kinds of things. I'm ridiculous at least some of the time, and then I get deeply into polyamory. I have to kinda close my eyes and just go for it to post this, because I really don't want to hurt or alienate anyone, or lose anybody special to me - for drunkenness or polyamorous-ness, but, hey, it is what it is. Overall I think it probably ended up answering most of the questions I've been asked, about that. I really want to be authentic, for lack of a better word, in every part of my life. I'm in a transitional growth phase in basically every area of my life and I feel terrified a lot of the time...TERRIFIED. All day anxiety attacks, self-sabotage. About being close to my bachelors, about REALLY losing weight, about polyamory, even about things like my improved credit and my writing and just...you know, limitless potential. Tons of change. So much risk. *shrug*

:)

There are a couple of points when it goes quiet for a few seconds but then I start talking again, that could be confusing. It seems like the end, but really, I'm dozing off.

Me, tipsy on some bleachers under bright lights, at the rink, earlier in the evening:

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ETA: To everyone up in arms about this post: Please be advised that Oliver has free run of our entire house when we're home, is fed a wide variety of fruits and vegetables, is taken outside regularly, gets his wings and nails clipped every couple of months, and gets carried/pet/talked to A LOT. I did not even wet the damned bird, let alone hit him with anything substantial; as I said, I have no aim whatsoever. Also, I didn't really intend to hurt him. Also also, it was (as stated) REALLY OUT OF CHARACTER ON MY PART, not so different from stories I've read of mothers yelling right back at screaming toddlers and then stepping back to go "Whoa" and laugh at themselves as they realize that is obviously out of line. Seriously. Get a grip everybody. We've had him for nearly a year and he is fully feathered and gorgeous, which everyone who knows about cokatoos knows would not be the case if he were unhappy, abused or neglected. I just spent half an hour on the couch petting him under his wings as he nuzzled my neck and was thinking maybe I should clarify for whatever person is actually concerned and not just trying to be an asshole.

Yesterday Oliver, who I am constantly bringing pasta and peanut butter and vegetables and cereal to and taking out into the sunshine, bit the living fuck out of my finger. Oliver is Aaron's cockatoo. The way his previous owners disciplined him was with a spray bottle, and he hates/understands that, so we typically do the same thing (if he's screaming, or tearing up furniture, for instance). Anyway recently the spray bottle was lost, so there I am trying to be nice to him and see if he'd like to come around town with us when he lays into me. There was blood everywhere, running down my hand and dripping on the floor, and my finger was just throbbing. The kids were already out in the van waiting for me so we could take Isaac to counseling and then go to PATH, and I had my bag on my arm.

I grabbed a mug off the bar, and threw the water in it at him, and he was giving me this super aggressive attitude continuing to lunge at me with an open beak. He is really smart and has a major power struggle thing going on sometimes and I felt so irrationally pissed at him, I went and filled the mug up with water again to come back and throw that on him, too. Something in between how he was hissing and snake-striking in my direction and how I have no aim whatsoever was making me so infuriated (combined with my pulse-throbbing hand), I actually went back a third time, filled it up again, came back (dripping blood everywhere) and threw the whole mug at him. As I said, I have no aim, but at least he startled as it shattered on the floor and then I felt satisfied.

If you know me at all, you know this is extremely out of character. I was actually standing there afterward like, "Uh...." and ended up laughing hysterically about the whole situation. Stupid bird.

I'm still finding blood around!

Izzy and Miguel (a couple of Ananda's TLC friends) have organized some kind of "let's go chalk bomb all the sidewalks in this one park on Sunday as an April Fools thing" event, and I have decided to be philanthropic as all get out and offer up my big box of amazing oil based super vibrant chalk to them. I don't really have a sidewalk anymore so they've only come out of my closet like twice in the last 3 years. I'm still having pangs, realizing that I will probably not get anything returned to me once a group of 10 teenagers takes them for an afternoon. I can't really think of a better use, though :)

Other news:

-there are flowers everywhere. I adore it <3

-I'm on antibiotics, an inhaler and some kind of ridiculous narcotic cough medicine, for what turns out to be "acute bronchitis with broncheospasms". Already somewhat improved. Weeks of coughing fits are not hernia-friendly.

-It gets SO OLD navigating the line of keeping Memo working on my stuff but not offending his hyper divo sensibilities. We've always been like this, getting on each others' nerves but it being worth it. Ugh. He lives in this never-ending maelstrom of drama. I'm also starting to hate the line of "you are my illustrator but you're also my friend"....I do love him outside of artistry, after all. We've got a couple of pieces of his in the running to possibly be the cover of my (short stories) book about to come out and he's doing some paintings inspired by it and I love all of that, I love that I can inspire him and he thinks they're so good, but part of me is like WHY DID I SHOW HIM THE PSYCHO SHORT STORIES I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN HE WOULD COMPLETELY LOSE INTEREST IN THE CHILDRENS BOOK...which is what I really want him to work on. Nevermind my tattoo design (that was a whole argument unto itself because I hated what he sent me and he is like ADAMANT that nobody else is tattooing me). I'm layering on a lot of (honest) flattery and offering him cuts and credit but sometimes I think I need to move him into my house and feed him/give him an allowance. Somehow I don't know if that level of proximity would do us any favors.

I absolutely LOVE what he's done, though...love-love. Or else I would have fired him a long time ago :p

-I am reminding myself upteen times a day that it is a miracle that Elise talks, because BOY DOES SHE TALK. The talking does not stop. Ever. She's sitting in a chair next to me right now prattling on and on about how I need to get her more probiotics because she just ran out and wondering where I got her some sunglasses because she can't remember and asking about flavors of ice cream and the lecture she gave Sophie (cat) on not eating people food anymore because it's making her REALLY REALLY FAT. It's really like it confuses or even hurts her, to just hush for a little while because I want to concentrate on something or am talking to somebody else. There are a few repetitive things - like counting down to her birthday and how I love her because she's my little Beastie - that she wants to talk about over and over and over. She also tries to dive in and photo bomb every pic I ever take of the other kids.

Yesterday morning she had something stuck in the bottom of her hair. I'd been wanting to trim it for awhile anyway, so I just cut off the bottom inch but she was like 10 minutes late to preschool as a result. She stomped in ahead of me, threw open the door such that it banged into the wall, and Boomed out over Ms Denise reading to everyone on the carpet, "I'm LATE, because I HAD A HAIRCUT!" before plopping down with them. Ms Karla (the aid) was laughing hysterically and Ms Denise was like, well, she isn't shy anymore 0_o

-Ananda and I have finished all 19 episodes of My So-Called Life

-I want to throw out another whole-hearted endorsement of Kumon workbooks - Aaron and Isaac are both burning through the 3rd grade multiplication and Jake is burning through the 4-5-6 "Rhyming Words and Phrases", and Elise is using Upper and Lower Case letters ones as well as the cutting book.

Spectrum spelling is also better than I would have expected for Annie. Sylvan Learning language arts is really valuable but also tedious for Isaac.

-I'm trying to prioritize and figure out what kind of activities we're doing over the coming months...PATH is offering a 5 week mini-semester of enrichment classes that look great (looking at things like creative writing, ceramics, chess, guitar and biology/life science), and Greater Miami Youth Symphony camps are coming up, and those are the main things on the table. Finances, how I loathe them.

Elise is still talking, to my left. Wondering aloud about how the hat for this doll was made and remarking on how it matches the dress and asking my opinion on "fragile" (porcelain) vs Barbie dolls and what my favorite doll clothes are and GOOD GRIEF MY EYES JUST KEEP GETTING BIGGER AS I ANSWER EACH NEW QUESTION! Sheesh.

I've already decided I'm going to be listed on this book, and any ensuing also-crazy books, under my maiden name. Because I want to write childrens, young adult and nonfiction under my current name. But I'm being very candid and open, obviously, online about being both and so I'm not sure how much value it has. I mean...you can only achieve a certain level of success before this sort of thing is known, anyway, but..whatever.

I've been collecting poetry and trying to get it all in one place. I know poetry is not something anyone could really hope to successfully market, I just like gathering it up and reliving phrases and playing with words. I've always wanted to publish a bunch of poetry on a small scale such that I could donate copies to libraries and used book stores, just leave them around and give them away because I know there are individuals out there who enjoy it, even though it's not at all a commercial thing.

There is a certain level of deeply shameful trauma involved with sifting through old poetry. I started writing it at like, 8, and everything from then through about 15-16 is painfully terrible. Just humiliatingly melodramatic and twee. I mean...*dead*

Current Music: Mumford and Sons

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I love my crazy friends.

David called me on my cell a couple nights ago, twanging in his southern accent like he does, telling me he was sitting on his porch with his girlfriend like they do. They have "a couple'a oak trees and a main road, better'n tv".Then he started telling me about the first weekend they both had completely off in over a month; it started Friday night when some Tequila led to him stripping down in a Chili's "Don't know what it is bout Tequila that melts clothes off my body". Saturday a friend drove up (did I mention this is Louisiana?) and they started drinking at 10:30 while David made gumbo. By about 9 that night, they were pretty freakin drunk - I'd recall the list of empty bottles for you but I can't remember them all at the moment - and a gradual, relatively low speed, no big injury pileup happened on the road in front of The Porch. So they got to spend like 3 hours heckling the drivers as idiots, throwing things at the cops as they arrived and generally mooning everyone as often as possible. He couldn't even retell this story without both of us laughing til it sounded like he was crying. I'm not sure if he'd be sticking to the porch without parole hanging over his head or not, but, either way I'm glad he's satisfied with it because even though I LIKE getting handwritten letters from prison and all, I do love him enough to like the idea of him free. This is why I was relieved when I found out he was going back to Louisiana, where nobody bothers to arrest you for stripping in chili's or mooning cops from the privacy of your own trailer porch. They'd been talking Texas - that would have been a disaster. In Louisiana he can weld 60 hours a week , rake in money, and continue to be a surprisingly good foster Dad to the kid he loves like a son who's got nobody else.

Memo just updated all his facebook pics - this is Portland area. There's the one where he's standing by some giant fake titties clad only in pasties and his Dad commented "Aye Memo why don't you come get your Dad and share those melons" and the one where he has a dude in drag's thigh draped over him outside somewhere and the one showing the pink-lit tattoo shop where he works (his Dad commented on that one, "Are you tattooing for the cure??? JAJAJAJA"). His gallery is pretty incredible. Anyway Memo called, messaged and texted me for THREE DAYS to call his newly-ex-girlfriend and get her to see the light and take him back. This is why he can't work on my illustrations: he's lost, broken, dark, hurting, etc etc etc and doesn't want that bleeding into my children's book. Finally at 2 am when I had already studied too much, I replied "Dude you're sending me a number with at least one extra digit" and he sent me the real one and I called up this chick I've never spoken to before and we talked for 40 minutes. He interrupted 4 times, every time with "DON'T TELL HER IT'S ME! ...are you still talking to her?" She said some things that made sense and some things that didn't but ultimately it could probably all be summed up with how, the last time he really made her cry, he said "But don't you feel alive? At least I made you feel something!"

I think I may eventually figure out how to get all my dysfunction by osmosis.

I feel so renewed and good because,

1. I went and spent hours and hours in Advisement and Financial Aid and so on yesterday (with Aaron - it was good bonding time, although I DO NOT understand why MDC is showing FOX NEWS in the waiting room, Geez) and got it worked out so that I dropped (online) algebra for this semester, and will be taking it next semester in an actual classroom with a teacher ratemyprofessors.com assures me is both great at explaining things and offers lots of extra credit opportunities. Of the 3 remaining classes I'm currently taking, I'm assured at least 2 As. The other one could be a B. My next semester is highly doable schedule-wise and already in the computer registered. I may have to go through an appeals process or end up paying for the class I dropped but I still think this is a vast improvement over the path I was on two days ago that involved screwing up my GPA bigtime. And seriously; reading and writing based virtual classes ONLY, for me. I'm the only parent sitting around at PATH doing my own homework :p

2. THE WEATHER is amazing. It's been in the 60s/70s two days in a row! It's like January has come early :p It really is downright surreal following the past few months, though, in the best possible way. Elise ran most of the walk to preschool this morning, which offset the horror of the headpiece of her seat on my bike being broken off. Grr.

I'm reading Beautiful Creatures because I randomly picked it off of a list for a novel project for my literature class, and it is claptrap - claptrap, I tell you! I didn't think there was anything that much worse than Twilight, but apparently there is - there's a whole genre out there now INSPIRED BY TWILIGHT; Books clinging to Twilight's coattails. I heard "Southern Gothic" and thought "Anne Rice! True Blood!" No. Just, no.

Oh, Mom, if you're reading this, you would love Beautiful Creatures and should get on it right away :D

Current Music: Adele - Rolling in the Deep

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These days are busy as hell. I'm sleeping at night, which is really new, and means I don't know how in the world I'm supposed to maintain my "internet presence". I mean, I have about half an hour in the mornings where I go through my email, facebook wall, friends' page and tumblr but that's barely enough time to comment/reply the way I want to, let alone offer any content of my own.

Let me tell you about yesterday:

-woke up at 7am, aka Asshole O'Clock, and after stumbling around for a bit, had a pretty rad (I actually used the word rad) sexual encounter with G, before driving him to work

-woke the kids up far earlier than they wanted to be awake (9, I am a slave driver :p)

-Supplement Circus: I washed down probiotics with Emergen-C because I'm feeling like I'm getting a cold. Isaac and Elise take probiotics everyday; he's also taking a stool softener and she also needs fish oil. Breakfast was "scrounge for what you can find"

-returned the director of Elise's (future) preschool's call; got details on how to get the VPK funding, when school starts, when open house will be, their supply fee, vaccine exemptions, etc.

-called the charter school about older kids again; told waiting list results have been pushed back (AGAIN)

-called Greater Miami Youth Symphony's (Homestead Extension) contacts about their summer program availability, pricing, requirements and forms; printed and filled out 2 page forms for 4 different kids, along with scholarship requests and out last tax return. Put all that in a big addressed and stamped manila envelope

-texted Memo back and forth about his sketches, our formatting of the childrens' book, when he'll be back in Portland, taped up our printed and cut manuscript, wrote him a letter with size and distribution and profit sharing info and stuck all THAT in a separate manila envelope, addressed, stamped...

-ran over to MDC's student life dept to get my stupid parking decal and ID and kept not having things (run back out to the van for registration; go wait in line at registration to get a schedule print out...)

-logged into the Virtual School and perused and printed the syllabus and calendar for my online class (The Social Environment)

-worked with Ananda and Elise to get Elise's new Princess Palace ready (she's moved to the big closet as her OWN ROOM since we realized her toddler bed fits in their with lots of space leftover...) It is looking really fabulous and I'll try to get some pictures ready soon, she is so excited about this.

-helped Aaron make soup for everybody's lunch

-worked with Ananda on homework for her writing class

-played phone tag and did some email forwarding so that, finally, the title company that did our home loan will be refunding us unclaimed funds that were supposed to be for debts that no longer appear on our credit report (HUGE help right now...)

-massive insane $455 grocery trip at BJ's (that's at least $600 worth of stuff purchased elsewhere...) pushing one cart, pulling the other, because I refuse to grocery shop more often than bi-weekly anymore and we save tons this way. Back was dead by the time I got everything in the van

-pick up Grant from work, payday advance because we miscalculated something and don't want checks to bounce

-run home to drop off all these groceries; they put things away while I get ready for class

-Class for a couple of hours was highly entertaining and potentially really helpful to my real life, which takes some admitting as it's the stupid Student Life Skills class I have to take since I got put on Academic Probation the last time I dropped courses due to some medical emergency or other

-studying in the courtyard for an hour (my class was dismissed early) or so while I waited for Grant to get back from his CODA (Codependents Anonymous) meeting and pick me up. Called home and gave everyone school and housework assigments via speakerphone (Bob was home)

-Cooked and ate a late but not too late dinner, made everyone brush their teeth, got Elise her calcium paste (her decay has held steady...I am really hoping these teeth last until they fall out and we don't have to do any extractions)

-Grant and I went for a half hour late night walk

-I gobbled Aleve like a drowning woman for my back pain, along with some 5-HTP, and after some good talking, we collapsed into bed and blacked out together at around midnight.

So yeah. The day before was similar, except it was calls to Miami Children's Hospitals' Orthopedic Clinic about Isaac's broken arm, and a trip to the dentist office, and a call to my gyn about why my IUD check has still not been deposited when I dropped it off almost TWO MONTHS AGO, and going and getting my algebra book from the Kendall campus (which involved like 2 miles of walking in the 95 degree heat) and Annie's Girl Scout meeting where she got her new Cadette vest with all the insignia and patches she earned this year that I need to sew on before their award ceremony at the end of June. Best of all it ended with the third amazing beautiful intense shared bath with Grant in a row...

Tomorrow I have to take all five of them with class supplies for the older four and sleepover gear for the older two, to their enrichment classes and then PATH, where there will be a kid-handoff, and I have class again in the evening.

TODAY it's mainly Goodyear - since they put our drive belts on wrong last week and it's making a racket - fulfilling some promises to various kids (Chinese Checkers, Harry Potter trivia cards, reading more Anne of Green Gables) and then this evening will rock:

1. Writing time at Starbucks!! I've almost got the last short story done, then I'll figure out the order and figure out what to do with this collection ♥

2. Much anticipated trip with Grant to this amazing classy sex store we found. It's got like, clear windows and good lighting and friendly women working the counter and is generally not SKEEVY AND DISGUSTING like the other places around here...they even have toys and lingerie and other such interactive things in separate rooms from porn so you can browse what you're looking for with pretty minimal exposure to XXX pictures of every possible persuasion. Definitely writing positive reviews and Wednesday is 20% off "Ladies Day".

I have a massively huge entry...I mean even by my standards it is just fucking ridiculously long...about Grant and I, that I will be posting whenever I can finish it. Tentatively titled "The Dirt" :p I am still trepidacious or emotionally confused some of the time here. But...I have a lot of real hope for the first time in a long time that I can not just stay married to him but be truly (maybe even sickeningly) happy in the marriage.

I'm really glad I chose the total honesty path instead of continuing to sugar coat until things blew up worse...having everything out in the open has been huge for us, it's such a freeing release to be completely real with each other.

And that's a wrap, because clearly I don't have time to keep sitting here...

Current Music: Bjork

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I'm trying to just be present in the moment.
When it works, during the day/at their bedtime, I'm a really good mother and we have great school and other time.
When it doesn't, during the day/at their bedtime, I'm extremely lonely.

Evenings are a heavy and somber mix of hard talks and hopeful times, with Grant.

Nights involve a lot of up by myself, unable to sleep.

Let me break down things I'm excited about, here:

1. Writing, in three parts -
a. Memo has sent me 8 sketches now for illustrations for my childrens' book, which is finished, and the two of us plan to self-publish together through amazon on demand.
b. My surgery book is half-finished, Nancy is thinking about what she's doing for the forward now as I email another (famous, not my friend) artists back and forth about the logistics of using her art in it, and receive peoples' stories of traumatic surgery (thank you, everyone who has submitted...I am definitely going to get back to everybody and am still open to more). I've got a lot of research to go right now, with citing studies properly and having my information straight.
c. My collection of fictional short stories is almost done - 19 out of 20 are finished and I think it's really good.

2. College, in two parts -
a. Everyone got a "pay by" extension for the summer semester since Miami Dade is slacking on getting the awards handed out, so I have a little more breathing room to have my appeal filed in time, and also got some good advice from the last person I spoke with there.
b. I am thinking more and more that my major is going to be switching to either social work or counseling. This is mildly dissapointing in an unimportant way (I love psych and don't like the image that comes into my mind when I think "social worker") but much more profitable and still in line with the kind of work I actually want to be doing on the day to day.

My house has been much cleaner than usual in a way I'm really enjoying.

I'm seriously wondering if I have a thyroid disorder (hypo), because of how my weight just keeps creeping up and up and up and it's so hard to lose any even when I'm really doing things right. I have almost every symptom and have for some time. I actually perfectly fit the bill for Wilson's Temperature Syndrome but I don't want to be a crazy self-diagnosing hippy...oh wait it's too late to avoid that, isn't it? Anyway I'm looking at natural ways to improve thyroid function because we don't have insurance right now and I don't even want to deal with extra doctors in general. B vitamins and coconut oil are where I'm starting, along with more excercise. It's not like any of that is gonna hurt anything if I'm wrong, and it could really help even if I'm just in the low-normal thyroid range.

I laughed so hard at this website: Calories Burned During Sex".

Also, Tumblr tag searches are highly entertaining. It's like the dumping ground of the entire internet, the ultimate stockpile of every gif and macro and comixed hoozawatsit ever made.

Grant wants me to drop out of RCIA. I don't think that's a good idea. His reason(ing)s are that I'm questioning my faith and not sure how I feel about Catholicism and so I shouldn't be there. My reasoning is that it's something I've wanted for years, and I've come this far, and I don't want to just drop out now because I'm unsure about everything - I still have until May 12 to decide how I feel one way or the other. In the meantime, Mass and RCIA every week is really the only thread my faith life is hanging from, here. I also really like a few of my classmates and my sponsor, and love the community of St Louis. I frequently dread going, but I'm always glad I went afterwards, and it's something I have for myself.

Part of his thought process here is that he'd like to go back to Protestant church of some kind, which I understand (RCIA kind of monopolizes Sunday mornings, especially now that we're down to one vehicle...Mass I could go to Saturday or Sunday nights but not the class itself). But I told him, honestly, that I don't want to ever go back to Protestant church. I mean I wouldn't mind visiting and I don't have anything against Protestants, but I don't want to join or belong to one. I feel like Christianity very obviously leads anyone who digs deeper and keeps learning and yearning for more back to the higher churches, where you see that they've existed since Christ started them 2000 years ago, whereas all these little offshoot branches that broke away a couple hundred years ago have diluted it down to something lacking much of what was originally there.

Aaaaaaaanyway, this has been sitting open forever, so I guess Imma post it now.

P.S. We saw Sucker Punch last night, and it was definitely a super gritty concentration of special effects and false eyelashes. But, it was also a uniquely done comic book style look into mental escapism, mental institutions, abuse and being held against your will. Dissociation in as Big Hollywood a way as possible, I guess, with amazing music. All in all I was entertained throughout.

P.P.S. I've decided I'm naming "my" cat (one of the two kittens we kept) Elvis. This way, I get to say things like "Why is The King in my bathroom sink?", "Elvis has left the building!" and "Aww, aren't you just such a cute furry hunka hunka burning love???" Should he misbehave I get to yell ELVIS PRESLEY!!! Also this way when he eventually dies, we can just pretend he's actually still out there somewhere and it's a conspiracy.

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Last night Grant and I had a night of pseudo-debauchery. First, we went up to a tattoo place to ask how much - in time and money - this thing I'm thinking of would be. This turns out to be for naught as my friend Memo has turned tattoo artist (and is really good) and demands to be the only one who does it. It's actually a condition of him cranking out my original idea in some kind of stunning sketch. Fine with me. It will probably end up being at my house with my kids all gathered round and Memo doing it? That's got to be the most wholesome tattooing scenario in the history of the world.

Then G and I saw Season of the Witch, aka The Most Boring Movie of all Time. Seriously, I was LAUGHING OUT LOUD at the demon scenes 10 minutes after Grant fell asleep in the theater. *sigh*

Sidenote: Damn this movie The Rite coming out! It is the sort of thing I DO NOT want to see but will HAVE TO SEE and it will HAUNT ME FOREVER. It's like they took every "scariest thing ever" and put them in one movie: demon possession? Check. Satan being sneaky and manipulative? Check. Priests trying to help people being overtaken and still having authority? Check. Pregnancy and babies involved? Yup. ANTHONY FUCKING HOPKINS? YOU BETCHA!

Silence of the Lambs, it tormented me. It was so so bad. This one has a bonus "Based on a true story" tagline.

Moving on. Then we went to some 24 hour sex store. I haven't been in a sex store since my first 5 minute "Because I can" jaunt as a newly 18 year old. We were looking to browse things I can normally only view online that we could use together, and what's funny is that this was very reminiscent of the sort of excitement I had at seeing REAL LIVE CLOTH DIAPERS I COULD BROWSE AND TOUCH NOT ON THE INTERNET. Poor Grant was doing this super uncomfortable tunnel vision thing whilst I cackled madly at, for instance, the giant posters for XXX spoofs of the Twilight movies. Porn just...doesn't do it for me. I kind of don't get how anyone takes it seriously. I mean, are there really people who buy a dvd with a stretched out anus on the front cover that's called "Shitholes"? Like, not as a joke?

I was joking with the cashier as Grant looked at the floor and held out the credit card. Anyway, we got a bag full of goodies and so far they're pretty good.

There are at least a few people on lj I've talked about sex toys with extensively but I am not so sure about broadcasting when, for instance, my grandparents are reading every entry. Feel free to contribute to the discussion as you wish.

Today was productive. I did a TON of cleaning, read to the little kids, kept to my Eat to Live eating plan, and sewed a purse I bought the fabric for a couple of weeks ago. It came out pretty well. I also finally got to talk to Dama again, an actual significant conversation that "counts" :)

I am in love with this song by Florence and the Machine....Dog Days are Over and Kiss With a Fist are great, too, but I think this is my current favorite off the album (Lungs):

I think I'm doing that thing people do where they get a morbid fascination with death because they are too aware of their own mortality. I usually think that's a really melodramatic and lame thing to do - especially when it leads to things like skull tattoos that have some kind of "deeep meaning, maaaaan" - but it seems to be involuntary when it happens to you. So I suppose I'll just run with it.

CAMPING PICTURES!