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Salient Points
Sep. 28th, 2005 03:40 pm-My Expecting Club is full of idiots. Idiots in this case being ignorant women who haven't done any research; I don't really know that any of them are stupid so I guess I shouldn't be harsh. I've been ignorant before. But MAN...there are ALWAYS like 5+ different threads going about induction. Everyone is clamoring to be induced, everyone's OB "won't let them go past" this or that point, people are "so jealous" of the women who have a date set - and NOBODY is even 40 weeks along yet! It's the October Expecting Club, many of them aren't even due until the middle or the end of next month. I get tired of walking around with all this pressure, struggling to roll over, wondering everytime I have hours of contractions if THIS is it, etc etc, but I'm not gonna evict the baby before he's ready to come out...There are people in there who are 35-36 weeks and saying they can't bear it anymore, why can't they be induced at 37 or 38 weeks - nobody seems to grasp the irony of EVERYONE saying "Everyone ELSE gets to have their baby before 40 weeks..." People don't seem to understand that 38 weeks is only "ok" because you have two weeks before OR after your "due date" during which you may actually be "due" (and nobody knows which it is). And in some cases, more. Or that if you're misdated (like I was with Isaac) 37-38 weeks is not safe, and even 40 weeks is not ideal. I am petty and human enough that being disgusted by their attitudes is actually making me feel more capable of "settling in", myself, for however long it takes with less anxiety and more earth-Mother patience. Which I know is not so wonderful on my part, but hey, it's also kind of nice for me...At least I can be honest?
-I'm really aware of the vital role of a stay at home mother, today. I've done very little housework and no cooking, and there is much to do. But I spent half an hour snuggling with Aaron earlier, and he's been so happy ever since. I spent a whole hour on the couch with Isaac, just nursing and dozing and talking with him, and he loved it so much. Afterwards at naptime, he was snuggled into the crook of my arm rubbing his eyes and yawning and smiling, and asked to get in his bed, and layed down by himself. The whole time we were doing that, A and A were building forts and making up stories to act out, in their room. Ananda comes to me excited about what she learned on Reading Rainbow today (we now have plans for a compost heap), and they jumped until they were sweating, on the trampoline. They drew pictures on half a dozen notecards. I love it that just by existing within the house, I can facilitate all of this. They can play outside when they feel like it for as long as they want, use their imaginations, do art, watch educational tv - Isaac can have all the close up bonding he wants, we can savor all this time before there is a new baby, and I can read him the 3 different books he's been bringing me over and over again, over and over again. Aaron can have love when he needs it, from someone he trusts. This is just with me laying around! Getting a pbj or a bowl of cereal or some strawberries for people when they ask, and trying not to fall asleep the rest of the time! How much more "important" are mothers when they're actively teaching, cooking good things, leading activities, all of it...I feel so sad for really small kids who spend all their time with a child to caregiver ratio, a staff turnover rate and nobody encouraging or answering their questions. It's nice to get this sort of reinforced sense of importance right now, because Grant has been working like CRAZY lately, from the moment he's up until very soon before bed, and there's no end in sight...he's super aware of our expanding family and not wanting to cramp his dad's style. We talked about it last night, and he was saying it sucks sometimes, but it's better than me being gone at some job all day and the kids being in daycare where we have no idea what they're doing or eating or being taught/told/modeled. And he's totally right, but it also made me feel like "He has so much pressure on him, maybe I could take in some extra kid during the day for money, or work more on yarn projects, or start doing freelance writing..." even though I know any or all of those things would cause me to very quickly view the kids as distractions and interruptions and stress, rather than WHY I'M HERE...if that makes sense.
I'm too sleepy to continue this. I'll go get all of Jake's diaper covers lanolized (I realized last night I still hadn't done that) and finish packing Grant and I's bag for the birth center...and transfer the laundry and clear our bedroom floor and do the dishes. And sweep.
That's what I get for laying around dozing and snuggly all day :p
-I'm really aware of the vital role of a stay at home mother, today. I've done very little housework and no cooking, and there is much to do. But I spent half an hour snuggling with Aaron earlier, and he's been so happy ever since. I spent a whole hour on the couch with Isaac, just nursing and dozing and talking with him, and he loved it so much. Afterwards at naptime, he was snuggled into the crook of my arm rubbing his eyes and yawning and smiling, and asked to get in his bed, and layed down by himself. The whole time we were doing that, A and A were building forts and making up stories to act out, in their room. Ananda comes to me excited about what she learned on Reading Rainbow today (we now have plans for a compost heap), and they jumped until they were sweating, on the trampoline. They drew pictures on half a dozen notecards. I love it that just by existing within the house, I can facilitate all of this. They can play outside when they feel like it for as long as they want, use their imaginations, do art, watch educational tv - Isaac can have all the close up bonding he wants, we can savor all this time before there is a new baby, and I can read him the 3 different books he's been bringing me over and over again, over and over again. Aaron can have love when he needs it, from someone he trusts. This is just with me laying around! Getting a pbj or a bowl of cereal or some strawberries for people when they ask, and trying not to fall asleep the rest of the time! How much more "important" are mothers when they're actively teaching, cooking good things, leading activities, all of it...I feel so sad for really small kids who spend all their time with a child to caregiver ratio, a staff turnover rate and nobody encouraging or answering their questions. It's nice to get this sort of reinforced sense of importance right now, because Grant has been working like CRAZY lately, from the moment he's up until very soon before bed, and there's no end in sight...he's super aware of our expanding family and not wanting to cramp his dad's style. We talked about it last night, and he was saying it sucks sometimes, but it's better than me being gone at some job all day and the kids being in daycare where we have no idea what they're doing or eating or being taught/told/modeled. And he's totally right, but it also made me feel like "He has so much pressure on him, maybe I could take in some extra kid during the day for money, or work more on yarn projects, or start doing freelance writing..." even though I know any or all of those things would cause me to very quickly view the kids as distractions and interruptions and stress, rather than WHY I'M HERE...if that makes sense.
I'm too sleepy to continue this. I'll go get all of Jake's diaper covers lanolized (I realized last night I still hadn't done that) and finish packing Grant and I's bag for the birth center...and transfer the laundry and clear our bedroom floor and do the dishes. And sweep.
That's what I get for laying around dozing and snuggly all day :p
