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Jul. 19th, 2012 02:26 pmWritten this morning:
I feel like there should be Rocky music playing in the background, because I got Ananda and Aaron up to the Gables by 8, and Isaac, Jake and Elise to their place here in town by 9 (they're all at Greater Miami Youth Symphony day camps) - all five wearing specific shirts, with a packed lunch, having eaten breakfast. The big kids have a finale performance this afternoon that they're nervous about, and the littles have a field trip to see a play that they're extremely excited over. Elise has never been on a school bus before, and can't remember seeing a play.
Now I'm about to buckle down with my coffee and study statistical formulas all day long because, truly, if I don't get a really good grade on the final Saturday morning I'm likely to need to retake the class :/
Aaron on stage, for a solo and a quintet deal, at two different performances thus far.
Ananda center stage in a cello choir, and then lost among the cello section at a full orchestral performance. This is the best I can do with an iPhone in the dim auditorium with the no flash rule, unfortunately.
The day the littles came home in their camp shirts.
And Elise SO EXCITED about her (tiny!) violin :D
Aside: She wants to practice every minute of the day. I don't know if you've ever HEARD a five year old free style on a violin for hours, but...O_O I mean...I am rapidly running out of honest answers to the question, "Do you like my playing?!" So far I've overused, "I love it that you love your violin!" and "The more you practice the better you'll get!" along with, "I can tell you're really into it..." Ananda taught her how to use the bough on the right area, at least, so now it's a somewhat rich cacophany as she leaps about, "singing" "songs," and not just a constant screech-scratching.
Written last night:
I am so at odds with myself right now. So stuck in this paradox of what is best for each kid, our family, me, etc.
We live in a house we love, and can afford, and OWN, which is big since we have terrible credit and a big family/love of pets for a landlord to accept - and it's in a rural suburb where there is little to nothing for my older kids to "do". We love and visit the Everglades several times a year, and their aunt Laura/our local friend Kristin are both over frequently. My college campus is very close to our house. The charter school we're considering for a couple of the younger kids is very close by, too, right around where Elise's preschool was. There are a couple of farm stands we adore, a family owned bookstore we try to be loyal to, and a couple of restaurants we enjoy - along with the place where we get our cars fixed.
But that's it. IT, it. I mean, aside from grocery stores.
Their homeschool social network of amazing friends, the really competetive and superior dance school they're interested in/have went to in the past, their symphony classes/group (and right now, daycamp), and most of the activities and enrichment we're interested in, are all 40-60 minutes up the road. The zoo we've had a membership to, the cool stores they want to buy things at, Isaac's free counseling and evaluator, everything. We even tend to drive for a better library branch, since our local one has an extremely small and outdated selection compared to anything to the north (though Annie often puts in requests for our branch, since she burns through books too quickly to wait). That area - the Pinecrest/Kendall and Coral Gables area - is rich in concentrated artistic and cooperative awesomeness and for several years now we've been up there 2-5 times per week for various things that I believe everyone is getting a lot out of.
There is absolutely no (financial) way we can move our family there, though, and I am losing my mind from the driving. We're also really straining the boundaries of how much car time is fair to the younger kids, and what we can afford in gas/maintenance spending (to say nothing of my environmentalist pangs...which are sometimes significant).
I do what I can to maximize efficiency and fun; we have it down to a science to pack snack bags and grab books to look at on the way out the door. The younger three also each have a dry erase board and set of markers for it that they keep out there. Several times during this day camp period for Ananda and Aaron, I've taken the younger three bowling or on the metrorail to the main branch of the library or out to the beach, so that we weren't doing the round trip twice. And several times A&A have went home with another family we know well who also has kids there, who love them and just took them back with their own kids the next day. We have a built in dvd player that we use maybe once a week in the van, too. Still, it's feeling terrible - Jake has developed car sickness, especially in the early morning, and has thrown up in the van 3 times this summer (and thought he was going to another half dozen) :/ I mean, this camp experience has been priceless and awesome and all that jazz, but it's meant that on most weekdays the little kids and I spend almost 4 hours total on the road! It's (the older kids/far one) almost over, but their progress means they were able to audition into ensembles they're excited about for the year. That are up the road.
And Aaron's old dance teacher calls/texts me periodically to remind me of her willingness to scholarship him completely, and I really see how good that was for Aaron and how he has something and could make a life out of performing and then teaching dance. He still begs to dance again, and is very willing to devote hours per day to it. With a child as NOT academic and with such a short attention span, that's huge! How can I say no?
But how can I say yes?! They're gonna want him most evenings during the week. They're gonna try to have him for competitions and traveling; that's the whole point of scholarshipping him - they want talented (and gorgeous :p) boys so they can win competitions. It's gonna be a big deal, not just for him but for everyone in our family. I am not someone who can stomach just declining when my kid has huge opportunities presented to them; it's going to either break my heart or break our bank account, when they're asking for him to go to another state again. I mean that NYC trip...I don't regret it at all, but we were screwed for a solid 6 months afterward. It was not something most people in our circumstances would have even considered.
Two days ago that dance school had a picture on facebook, of alumni with a tv show coming out, standing in front of a massive 3-building lit ad for the show in Times Square. And I get goosebumps, and then I get really stressed out, dammit.
I also really love our quiet times at home. I see tremendous value in CHILLING OUT AT THE HOUSE, doing creative things, reading, sit down schoolwork, cooking and eating together. We still have tea a couple of times a week. Still gather for dinner. I know families who either cannot do activities financially or have opted out due to logistics, and I understand what they're doing and why. Their households are calmer and their children are more thoughtful and that is kind of priceless to me - and yet. I just don't know where the balance is, here. Even if everyone "just" has ONE thing per week...that adds up to an awful lot of stuff.
Our fall schedule is already looking insane, without dance and without knowing what the GMYS schedule is gonna be. I mean at minimum it's my last semester at MDC, Isaac and Elise will most likely be at the charter school, Isaac will be in counseling again come October and I'll be trucking everybody up to TLC and PATH on Tuesdays and Thursdays.
*sigh*
Then there is this WHOLE other variable of whether to move two hours north, so that we're still the same distance from everything we travel to now, but Grant is very near his job. His commute is not sustainable. I would miss our town terribly, but am also psyched about the idea of being somewhere else. The house thing is hard. His job is still in such a transitional state that his boss has told him he should wait til the end of the year to relocate, "until things totally settle down." GAH.
I feel like there should be Rocky music playing in the background, because I got Ananda and Aaron up to the Gables by 8, and Isaac, Jake and Elise to their place here in town by 9 (they're all at Greater Miami Youth Symphony day camps) - all five wearing specific shirts, with a packed lunch, having eaten breakfast. The big kids have a finale performance this afternoon that they're nervous about, and the littles have a field trip to see a play that they're extremely excited over. Elise has never been on a school bus before, and can't remember seeing a play.
Now I'm about to buckle down with my coffee and study statistical formulas all day long because, truly, if I don't get a really good grade on the final Saturday morning I'm likely to need to retake the class :/
Aaron on stage, for a solo and a quintet deal, at two different performances thus far.
Ananda center stage in a cello choir, and then lost among the cello section at a full orchestral performance. This is the best I can do with an iPhone in the dim auditorium with the no flash rule, unfortunately.
The day the littles came home in their camp shirts.
And Elise SO EXCITED about her (tiny!) violin :D
Aside: She wants to practice every minute of the day. I don't know if you've ever HEARD a five year old free style on a violin for hours, but...O_O I mean...I am rapidly running out of honest answers to the question, "Do you like my playing?!" So far I've overused, "I love it that you love your violin!" and "The more you practice the better you'll get!" along with, "I can tell you're really into it..." Ananda taught her how to use the bough on the right area, at least, so now it's a somewhat rich cacophany as she leaps about, "singing" "songs," and not just a constant screech-scratching.
Written last night:
I am so at odds with myself right now. So stuck in this paradox of what is best for each kid, our family, me, etc.
We live in a house we love, and can afford, and OWN, which is big since we have terrible credit and a big family/love of pets for a landlord to accept - and it's in a rural suburb where there is little to nothing for my older kids to "do". We love and visit the Everglades several times a year, and their aunt Laura/our local friend Kristin are both over frequently. My college campus is very close to our house. The charter school we're considering for a couple of the younger kids is very close by, too, right around where Elise's preschool was. There are a couple of farm stands we adore, a family owned bookstore we try to be loyal to, and a couple of restaurants we enjoy - along with the place where we get our cars fixed.
But that's it. IT, it. I mean, aside from grocery stores.
Their homeschool social network of amazing friends, the really competetive and superior dance school they're interested in/have went to in the past, their symphony classes/group (and right now, daycamp), and most of the activities and enrichment we're interested in, are all 40-60 minutes up the road. The zoo we've had a membership to, the cool stores they want to buy things at, Isaac's free counseling and evaluator, everything. We even tend to drive for a better library branch, since our local one has an extremely small and outdated selection compared to anything to the north (though Annie often puts in requests for our branch, since she burns through books too quickly to wait). That area - the Pinecrest/Kendall and Coral Gables area - is rich in concentrated artistic and cooperative awesomeness and for several years now we've been up there 2-5 times per week for various things that I believe everyone is getting a lot out of.
There is absolutely no (financial) way we can move our family there, though, and I am losing my mind from the driving. We're also really straining the boundaries of how much car time is fair to the younger kids, and what we can afford in gas/maintenance spending (to say nothing of my environmentalist pangs...which are sometimes significant).
I do what I can to maximize efficiency and fun; we have it down to a science to pack snack bags and grab books to look at on the way out the door. The younger three also each have a dry erase board and set of markers for it that they keep out there. Several times during this day camp period for Ananda and Aaron, I've taken the younger three bowling or on the metrorail to the main branch of the library or out to the beach, so that we weren't doing the round trip twice. And several times A&A have went home with another family we know well who also has kids there, who love them and just took them back with their own kids the next day. We have a built in dvd player that we use maybe once a week in the van, too. Still, it's feeling terrible - Jake has developed car sickness, especially in the early morning, and has thrown up in the van 3 times this summer (and thought he was going to another half dozen) :/ I mean, this camp experience has been priceless and awesome and all that jazz, but it's meant that on most weekdays the little kids and I spend almost 4 hours total on the road! It's (the older kids/far one) almost over, but their progress means they were able to audition into ensembles they're excited about for the year. That are up the road.
And Aaron's old dance teacher calls/texts me periodically to remind me of her willingness to scholarship him completely, and I really see how good that was for Aaron and how he has something and could make a life out of performing and then teaching dance. He still begs to dance again, and is very willing to devote hours per day to it. With a child as NOT academic and with such a short attention span, that's huge! How can I say no?
But how can I say yes?! They're gonna want him most evenings during the week. They're gonna try to have him for competitions and traveling; that's the whole point of scholarshipping him - they want talented (and gorgeous :p) boys so they can win competitions. It's gonna be a big deal, not just for him but for everyone in our family. I am not someone who can stomach just declining when my kid has huge opportunities presented to them; it's going to either break my heart or break our bank account, when they're asking for him to go to another state again. I mean that NYC trip...I don't regret it at all, but we were screwed for a solid 6 months afterward. It was not something most people in our circumstances would have even considered.
Two days ago that dance school had a picture on facebook, of alumni with a tv show coming out, standing in front of a massive 3-building lit ad for the show in Times Square. And I get goosebumps, and then I get really stressed out, dammit.
I also really love our quiet times at home. I see tremendous value in CHILLING OUT AT THE HOUSE, doing creative things, reading, sit down schoolwork, cooking and eating together. We still have tea a couple of times a week. Still gather for dinner. I know families who either cannot do activities financially or have opted out due to logistics, and I understand what they're doing and why. Their households are calmer and their children are more thoughtful and that is kind of priceless to me - and yet. I just don't know where the balance is, here. Even if everyone "just" has ONE thing per week...that adds up to an awful lot of stuff.
Our fall schedule is already looking insane, without dance and without knowing what the GMYS schedule is gonna be. I mean at minimum it's my last semester at MDC, Isaac and Elise will most likely be at the charter school, Isaac will be in counseling again come October and I'll be trucking everybody up to TLC and PATH on Tuesdays and Thursdays.
*sigh*
Then there is this WHOLE other variable of whether to move two hours north, so that we're still the same distance from everything we travel to now, but Grant is very near his job. His commute is not sustainable. I would miss our town terribly, but am also psyched about the idea of being somewhere else. The house thing is hard. His job is still in such a transitional state that his boss has told him he should wait til the end of the year to relocate, "until things totally settle down." GAH.
