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My days have been SO CRAZILY full, and there are so many more things to be accomplished in the coming days, that I am just in a daze today. I started out well enough, with my Lenten devotional time and then I got a couple of loaves of flax banana bread baking in the oven and started a chicken soaking in brine for tonight's dinner. It all felt good, Ananda came out because she said she'd heard the KitchenAid from her bed and couldn't get back to sleep knowing something yummy was coming. I lanolized Elise's (FINISHED!!) longies. And then something happened and I just started idling along. My sister came to visit while I was picking up my room and I think that as a result I just sat down and chilled to talk to her, which is when it started. Now I've been crocheting and surfing the web for HOURS while trying to shoo the kids away or give them the laziest answers possible, whenever they request anything. The house has fallen to pieces around me. Grant Sr is out of town and Robbie is up at Teresa's, which means nobody is even gonna be popping in and dissaproving of the mess.
The kids are watching a movie. Jake is sitting in Annie's lap, and Isaac and Aaron are coexisting side by side without any sort of hostility. I wish I had the camera here, they make me smile in a big way. Isaac finally seems to really be getting better today; his fever has been absent since last night. He's hoarse, though, and still a little sluggish. I don't understand how nobody but him got sick.
I'm having some major PATH conundrums. The president mass emailed a letter of resignation to us all, after some members accused her one too many times of not being the best president. We have no president elect. I also feel that the (now former) president is a real friend of mine and someone I truly respect. She's been going above and beyond all year to hold together what has been falling apart. Now...I don't know what's going to happen. Our longtime treasurer is also stepping down this year, and we have a much smaller membership - about 80 families. It was 200 a couple of years ago. I'm torn - so torn...because I think I could help pull it together. I think I could reschedule this weekend's executve committee meeting for my house, since it won't be at the x-presidents, so that it still happens, and we can formulate a plan. Even though that would mean I'll have to stay up late as heck Friday night cleaning my place, get up early to cook breakfast for everyone, and have Grant pre-agreed to wrangle all the children. I can send out emails and update our site, for my particular park. But a part of me feels as if I'm trying to save a sinking ship. Especially since I'm about to leave the state for a month. Apparently these sorts of ebbs and flows have been very normal for the group throughout the last couple of decades, but when you are in an ebb it means that each volunteer is doing 5+ volunteers' worth of work, until things start to flow again.
And school...I took test #2 last night for Human Sexuality, over at the college. I think I did pretty well. I love being there, on some level, because it's just so completely far removed from my normal day to day - for being here in this little suburb they really went all out with the campus, it almost seems silly how big and art deco it is. I like it, though. But I'm supposed to take #3, like, TOMORROW. Or maybe Friday (it's Independant Studies and they just all have to be taken by the end of the course). SO MUCH READING. Stimulating reading that I start conversations about, and I read fast so that's in my favor, but each test is 5 long chapters and not in such a way that you can skim or just know the vocabulary or something. I have an email to send to my abnormal psych prof and some discussions to submit to the messageboard (that class is online). That is easy to breeze through...I almost resent how easy and simplistic that class is, because the material is so complex and fascinating. I will not complain right now, though. All of these things - PATH, my classes - have value in my life and I think they're worth it. I just want to have a WHOLE DAY to lay around doing the bare possible minimum, and I don't think it's going to happen for a long long time. Maybe it will happen in Boston? I felt kind of depressed yesterday about how Elise's birth will reset the clock on Grant and I being able to go anywhere alone, as I won't leave a new baby with anyone else, and on us getting to go to bed together in our own bed with no kids in it. Not the overwhelming depression that I felt about that sort of thing with Ananda, or Isaac, when I had less perspective of things being temporary. Just a sort of internal *sigh* My sister has miraculously offered to watch my kids while the two of us go out to lunch somewhere, though. Which surprised me a lot. Maybe I'll try to schedule that with her this evening.
I don't normally talk about sex in my lj for a wide array of reasons, but this afternoon we were "reconnecting" in the room while all the kids were occupied elsewhere. And I had this moment, when he was just feeling so familiar and nice and looking so good and I felt so in love with him and happy, and I realized that he had his "World's Best Dad - Hands Down" shirt hiked up around his chest with the fabric painted hand prints showing, and my giant belly was between us, and I just started laughing. What's become of us? :p
The kids are watching a movie. Jake is sitting in Annie's lap, and Isaac and Aaron are coexisting side by side without any sort of hostility. I wish I had the camera here, they make me smile in a big way. Isaac finally seems to really be getting better today; his fever has been absent since last night. He's hoarse, though, and still a little sluggish. I don't understand how nobody but him got sick.
I'm having some major PATH conundrums. The president mass emailed a letter of resignation to us all, after some members accused her one too many times of not being the best president. We have no president elect. I also feel that the (now former) president is a real friend of mine and someone I truly respect. She's been going above and beyond all year to hold together what has been falling apart. Now...I don't know what's going to happen. Our longtime treasurer is also stepping down this year, and we have a much smaller membership - about 80 families. It was 200 a couple of years ago. I'm torn - so torn...because I think I could help pull it together. I think I could reschedule this weekend's executve committee meeting for my house, since it won't be at the x-presidents, so that it still happens, and we can formulate a plan. Even though that would mean I'll have to stay up late as heck Friday night cleaning my place, get up early to cook breakfast for everyone, and have Grant pre-agreed to wrangle all the children. I can send out emails and update our site, for my particular park. But a part of me feels as if I'm trying to save a sinking ship. Especially since I'm about to leave the state for a month. Apparently these sorts of ebbs and flows have been very normal for the group throughout the last couple of decades, but when you are in an ebb it means that each volunteer is doing 5+ volunteers' worth of work, until things start to flow again.
And school...I took test #2 last night for Human Sexuality, over at the college. I think I did pretty well. I love being there, on some level, because it's just so completely far removed from my normal day to day - for being here in this little suburb they really went all out with the campus, it almost seems silly how big and art deco it is. I like it, though. But I'm supposed to take #3, like, TOMORROW. Or maybe Friday (it's Independant Studies and they just all have to be taken by the end of the course). SO MUCH READING. Stimulating reading that I start conversations about, and I read fast so that's in my favor, but each test is 5 long chapters and not in such a way that you can skim or just know the vocabulary or something. I have an email to send to my abnormal psych prof and some discussions to submit to the messageboard (that class is online). That is easy to breeze through...I almost resent how easy and simplistic that class is, because the material is so complex and fascinating. I will not complain right now, though. All of these things - PATH, my classes - have value in my life and I think they're worth it. I just want to have a WHOLE DAY to lay around doing the bare possible minimum, and I don't think it's going to happen for a long long time. Maybe it will happen in Boston? I felt kind of depressed yesterday about how Elise's birth will reset the clock on Grant and I being able to go anywhere alone, as I won't leave a new baby with anyone else, and on us getting to go to bed together in our own bed with no kids in it. Not the overwhelming depression that I felt about that sort of thing with Ananda, or Isaac, when I had less perspective of things being temporary. Just a sort of internal *sigh* My sister has miraculously offered to watch my kids while the two of us go out to lunch somewhere, though. Which surprised me a lot. Maybe I'll try to schedule that with her this evening.
I don't normally talk about sex in my lj for a wide array of reasons, but this afternoon we were "reconnecting" in the room while all the kids were occupied elsewhere. And I had this moment, when he was just feeling so familiar and nice and looking so good and I felt so in love with him and happy, and I realized that he had his "World's Best Dad - Hands Down" shirt hiked up around his chest with the fabric painted hand prints showing, and my giant belly was between us, and I just started laughing. What's become of us? :p
