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Apr. 23rd, 2015 12:06 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
altarflameI'm feeling pretty tired lately, and like I'm not very good at using my time well. I've been sick for a week or more - or, I got sick, got better, and relapsed? Not sure if this is "still sick" or "sick again" but I've been pretty moody about how I can't help but feel that, overall, I get sick too much, stay sick too long, and that sickness is indicative of the larger problem of feeling out of control of my body (...health... mortality... etc).
I do a lot to feel in control. I make big green smoothies full of kale, spinach, frozen fruit, probiotics, and fish oil. I drink tons of water all the time. I log weight watchers points and balance treats with salads and make myself take walks even when it's very hot, or I don't feel like it at all. I go get my shots and I go to counseling. I attempt to deconstruct my identity as a night owl and prioritize sleep. I have big stretching sessions on my yoga mat. I put on sunblock and use good moisturizer and make to-do lists at night that I actually check things off of the next day.
I also attempt to not care, and just let go. Like, you know, you do all you can do and then you can't do any more and it's out of your hands.
I still spend a huge amount of energy wondering why I can't concentrate better than I can, why I'm so tired, why I keep getting so sad for no reason, what if anything I should cut back from our lives to simplify things further, why I waste time on the internet so often.
Blah blah blah. Hopefully I'll be over the illness soon.
This past week for our family has involved:
-(my 20 year old nephew) Robby letting me know he's moving back to south Florida, soon to be followed by his long time partner, and can they stay at our house for a few days after they've worn out their welcome with his grandmother? This is an ongoing conversation. I miss Robby, and I love him, and I really don't know about this.
-Ananda's ensemble having an Earth Day performance (cello).
-Isaac and his clarinet mentor being part of a showcase.
-An adult derby bout (so my kids didn't skate, but they were the color guard and Grant runs the score board).
-Grant's and my 9th wedding anniversary (he surprised me with this knowledge the night before, and then we both struggled to think how long it's been...facebook told us the next morning).
-Ananda getting her braces tightened and chains (connected to impacted teeth in the gums) shortened
-and needing money for a book for english class
-and acryclic paint and a canvas for art, and refill exacto blades, and more erasers...
-Isaac going to the psychiatrist (this is a monthly thing)
-and needing forms and money for multiple field trips
-and a haircut...
-Aaron destroying his shoelaces somehow and needing more before the next morning
-and moving his growing tarantula to a bigger enclosure we got awhile back...
-Me cramming for my finals
-and trying to write a bunch of papers for the end of the semester
-and trying to get my summer schedule sorted out, with my degree audit, FIU's course search tool, RateMyProfessor, and a notepad file open.
-Grant having meetings IRL and via skype, with multiple potential business partners for various professional side projects he has in the works
-Planning Elise's birthday with her, and with Grant - she is counting down to the first with great anticipation. She's asked for nothing specific, gift-wise, so that will be all surprises, but she designed a whole breakfast, lunch, and dinner menu for the day (kind of standard birthday procedure around here), let me know the precise cake she's after, and the next day - Saturday - she, Grant, and I are going back up to the english tea room where we had her celebration last year. Generally speaking my kids get to choose between an outing of some kind with Grant and/or I, or a party. Isaac picked camping with Daddy, in February, and Jake went indoor skydiving with him, last October.
And I'm gonna go ahead and break from this list to talk about how Ananda has decided ALL SHE WANTS for her birthday (aside from her learner's permit)...is Nicki Minaj tickets. She is obsessed with Nicki Minaj, and the Pink Print tour is coming to Miami in July. She says her favorite kind of people fall in the middle of a venn diagram with Harry Potter on one side, and Nicki Minaj on the other. An alternate diagram proposed at dinner tonight features the overlap between roller derby players and librarians. That is actually a thing.
As far as our week, I also finally got out the giant pile of mending that's been growing for months, and managed to fix Jake's beloved Adventure Time pajama pants and one apron with a missing strap before I broke off TWO sewing machine needles, so now I need to buy more before I can get to everything else.
And, I'm PMS'ing. Terribly. It goes great with the persistent cough and low grade fever.
Although it is genuinely the best thing when I mention this, and apologize to everyone for being kind of grumpy, and Ananda and Aaron respond with a RIDICULOUS and elaborate interpretive dance... it involved squatting, and holding hands, and I think there were kicks? It's sweet to put an arm around each of their waists and kiss their (face height for me) cheeks and laugh at their nonsense.
Elise is also reading things everywhere we go, now, which is so exciting for her that it's infectious. She's had a couple of major leaps, though she's still just reading me beginning reader level books. It's far less painstaking than it was a few months back.
Cats. Lemme tell you.
Peter, after SIX YEARS of hanging back afraid (he was abused before we adopted him as a rescue through Cat Network), has jumped into my lap twice and actually come up to rub on my leg here and there. I can now pet this cat without Aaron basically tricking/convincing him it's ok, and he doesn't stiffen and look like he's about to have a heart attack as I do it. I think the vet visit and treatment for his abscess bonded us together or something.
Jake Jr (Jake named him...he's Jake's cat...I will never be into this name :p) turned 1. Jake actually had presents for him. He is the biggest pain in the ass in the world, and I adore him. It's horrible. What a bad/awesome cat. He's constantly knocking over and digging up my plants, he wakes us up in bed in the middle of the night for attention, he is so insistent and entitled in his mission to eat all the meat we ever have for ourselves...and we basically all stand around going, "you rascal! You fluffy demon! Come here and let me hug you as a punishment." Really, it's ridiculous, he runs the entire house. He's so great.
My latest plant saving strategy (after a spray bottle, and a can of cat repellent spray) is to put a thin layer of heavy rocks on top of the dirt and that's actually holding so far, although it's only been a few days. My Aunt suggested pepper as another option, on facebook.
Sophie and Tom = nothing to report :p
I do a lot to feel in control. I make big green smoothies full of kale, spinach, frozen fruit, probiotics, and fish oil. I drink tons of water all the time. I log weight watchers points and balance treats with salads and make myself take walks even when it's very hot, or I don't feel like it at all. I go get my shots and I go to counseling. I attempt to deconstruct my identity as a night owl and prioritize sleep. I have big stretching sessions on my yoga mat. I put on sunblock and use good moisturizer and make to-do lists at night that I actually check things off of the next day.
I also attempt to not care, and just let go. Like, you know, you do all you can do and then you can't do any more and it's out of your hands.
I still spend a huge amount of energy wondering why I can't concentrate better than I can, why I'm so tired, why I keep getting so sad for no reason, what if anything I should cut back from our lives to simplify things further, why I waste time on the internet so often.
Blah blah blah. Hopefully I'll be over the illness soon.
This past week for our family has involved:
-(my 20 year old nephew) Robby letting me know he's moving back to south Florida, soon to be followed by his long time partner, and can they stay at our house for a few days after they've worn out their welcome with his grandmother? This is an ongoing conversation. I miss Robby, and I love him, and I really don't know about this.
-Ananda's ensemble having an Earth Day performance (cello).
-Isaac and his clarinet mentor being part of a showcase.
-An adult derby bout (so my kids didn't skate, but they were the color guard and Grant runs the score board).
-Grant's and my 9th wedding anniversary (he surprised me with this knowledge the night before, and then we both struggled to think how long it's been...facebook told us the next morning).
-Ananda getting her braces tightened and chains (connected to impacted teeth in the gums) shortened
-and needing money for a book for english class
-and acryclic paint and a canvas for art, and refill exacto blades, and more erasers...
-Isaac going to the psychiatrist (this is a monthly thing)
-and needing forms and money for multiple field trips
-and a haircut...
-Aaron destroying his shoelaces somehow and needing more before the next morning
-and moving his growing tarantula to a bigger enclosure we got awhile back...
-Me cramming for my finals
-and trying to write a bunch of papers for the end of the semester
-and trying to get my summer schedule sorted out, with my degree audit, FIU's course search tool, RateMyProfessor, and a notepad file open.
-Grant having meetings IRL and via skype, with multiple potential business partners for various professional side projects he has in the works
-Planning Elise's birthday with her, and with Grant - she is counting down to the first with great anticipation. She's asked for nothing specific, gift-wise, so that will be all surprises, but she designed a whole breakfast, lunch, and dinner menu for the day (kind of standard birthday procedure around here), let me know the precise cake she's after, and the next day - Saturday - she, Grant, and I are going back up to the english tea room where we had her celebration last year. Generally speaking my kids get to choose between an outing of some kind with Grant and/or I, or a party. Isaac picked camping with Daddy, in February, and Jake went indoor skydiving with him, last October.
And I'm gonna go ahead and break from this list to talk about how Ananda has decided ALL SHE WANTS for her birthday (aside from her learner's permit)...is Nicki Minaj tickets. She is obsessed with Nicki Minaj, and the Pink Print tour is coming to Miami in July. She says her favorite kind of people fall in the middle of a venn diagram with Harry Potter on one side, and Nicki Minaj on the other. An alternate diagram proposed at dinner tonight features the overlap between roller derby players and librarians. That is actually a thing.
As far as our week, I also finally got out the giant pile of mending that's been growing for months, and managed to fix Jake's beloved Adventure Time pajama pants and one apron with a missing strap before I broke off TWO sewing machine needles, so now I need to buy more before I can get to everything else.
And, I'm PMS'ing. Terribly. It goes great with the persistent cough and low grade fever.
Although it is genuinely the best thing when I mention this, and apologize to everyone for being kind of grumpy, and Ananda and Aaron respond with a RIDICULOUS and elaborate interpretive dance... it involved squatting, and holding hands, and I think there were kicks? It's sweet to put an arm around each of their waists and kiss their (face height for me) cheeks and laugh at their nonsense.
Elise is also reading things everywhere we go, now, which is so exciting for her that it's infectious. She's had a couple of major leaps, though she's still just reading me beginning reader level books. It's far less painstaking than it was a few months back.
Cats. Lemme tell you.
Peter, after SIX YEARS of hanging back afraid (he was abused before we adopted him as a rescue through Cat Network), has jumped into my lap twice and actually come up to rub on my leg here and there. I can now pet this cat without Aaron basically tricking/convincing him it's ok, and he doesn't stiffen and look like he's about to have a heart attack as I do it. I think the vet visit and treatment for his abscess bonded us together or something.
Jake Jr (Jake named him...he's Jake's cat...I will never be into this name :p) turned 1. Jake actually had presents for him. He is the biggest pain in the ass in the world, and I adore him. It's horrible. What a bad/awesome cat. He's constantly knocking over and digging up my plants, he wakes us up in bed in the middle of the night for attention, he is so insistent and entitled in his mission to eat all the meat we ever have for ourselves...and we basically all stand around going, "you rascal! You fluffy demon! Come here and let me hug you as a punishment." Really, it's ridiculous, he runs the entire house. He's so great.
My latest plant saving strategy (after a spray bottle, and a can of cat repellent spray) is to put a thin layer of heavy rocks on top of the dirt and that's actually holding so far, although it's only been a few days. My Aunt suggested pepper as another option, on facebook.
Sophie and Tom = nothing to report :p
