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Mar. 30th, 2015 02:57 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
altarflameWith that previous entry, about Annie spending ludicrous amounts of time locked up in the bathroom - honestly I don't expect any kind of real solution to come through the comments and keep being surprised when they're suggested. Thank you, but don't worry about it! It really feels like it's just one of those parenting things you deal with until you're through the other side of it, I think. I mean people "do" all kinds of things to feel like they're doing something (and sometimes they help or are necessary, but hopefully you know what I mean) during various phases, but mostly I think the efforts just help the parents cope with tantrums or potty training or picky eating or whatever it is until it passes. "The only way out is through" and all that.
I'm someone who is greatly helped by venting, so sometimes I go COOOMPPLAAAAIN and then I mostly feel better. I think it's long been an issue here, actually, that I make a great big tldr lot of entry about something that's driving me nuts, and it kind of IS the solution, since bitching makes me feel better, but then lots of people come in concerned about how to help and I'm confused. I suppose in this situation, I will be irritated again before long, haha. And I did actually talk to her about it again today, a bit. If you'd like to aid in my de-stressing, throw me a "Fucking teenagers, I swear," or perhaps a "Gah, what is it about bathrooms and adolescent girls?"
Come to think of it I TOTALLY drove my Nana nuts taking hour and a half long showers in high school. I would actually lie in the bottom of the shower and read novels.
Moving on...
Today's schoolwork for me was mostly focused on Legal Psychology, and Religions of the Caribbean. In Legal Psychology, I had the most laugh out loud lots of NONSENSE - I kept reading the book out loud to Ananda and to Grant and just feeling flabbergasted. In a chapter on being not guilty by reason of insanity, there are bolded terms to learn such as, "the twinkie defense," "the wild beast test," and "policeman at elbow theory." There's also quite a lot of fascinatingly AWFUL stuff about the Andrea Yates trial, and Jodie Foster's stalker - that guy who shot Reagan? Geez.
Then, in a chapter about child sexual abuse, there was a lot of info on some truly horrific day care situations with dozens and even in some cases hundreds of crimes per location, from the 80s. BUT, what came out of nowhere for me is the fantastical, almost unbelievable nature of some of these crimes - I actually got very incredulous, just totally shocked, and then started laughing out loud in shock. Which is not a normal reaction to child sexual abuse, for me. But look at these two QUOTES from my textbook, and keep in mind that they came after lots of more pedestrian and very sad examples:
"...the accusations included sodomy, tunneling underground to rob graves, hacking up corpses in front of children, and sexually molesting children in a hot air balloon."
"The allegations were wide-ranging and bizarre - children reported that they had been raped and sodomized, forced to have oral sex while being photographed, tied up and hung upside down from trees, set on fire, and thrown from a boat into shark-infested waters."
O_O
I...just...can't.
In the Religion class, we're on Santeria, and I thought this was thought provoking on several levels:
Consider, for example, these remarks by Alden Tarte, a
Miami lawyer who in 1987 represented a group of homeowners who
wanted to shut down a Santeria worship center in their neighborhood:
"Santeria is not a religion. It is a throwback to dark ages. It is a cannibalistic,
voodoo-like sect which attracts the worst elements of society,
people who mutilate animals in a crude and most inhumane manner."1
The French philosopher Pierre Bourdieu contends that "sorcery"
and "magic" are names imposed upon the religions of those existing on
the margins of society in order to disqualify them. Those who do this
naming, of course, use the legitimating term "religion" to refer to their
own brand of sorcery and magic.2
As a sort of counterpoint to Mr Bourdieu's argument, though (for me), we have this:
Traditionally, preparation for ordination into Santeria has taken
as long as three years. But within the United States the process has
been pared down so that it takes as few as three months for men and
just a matter of weeks for women. The ceremony itself has been reduced
to seven days. It is still a lengthy process because the iyawo must
learn the secrets of the herbs by which diseases and illnesses can be
cured and evil diverted. The cost of ordination, as determined by the
orisha, can be as much as $5,000; although, as in any religion, there are
unscrupulous practitioners, some of whom have been known to charge
as much as $45,000...
...A small incision is made on the scalp, into which a pasty substance
containing the orisha's secrets is inserted. ...During this feast, the iyawo is
usually possessed by their orisha for the first time, although this is
becoming more rare in the United States. If it does happen, a guinea hen's
head is severed and its blood is offered to the iyawo to drink.
I do feel that almost every faith gets at least something awfully right, at least inasmuch as it feels very strongly and intuitively right to me, and for that Santeria has the concept of Ache, which has probably been called plenty of other things by other groups, too.
What is Ache
• A neutral cosmic energy under girding every
aspect of existence
• All that has life or exhibits power has ache
Ache
• Ache abounds especially in untamed
nature; wild animals, deep forests, flowing
water, moving wind, blood
• The fullness of Ache translates into
fullness of life or abundance
Ache
• Ache is without limit
• Ache is amoral but those who possess
secrets of its workings can tap ache for
good or evil
• One Goal of santeria is to enjoy the
fullness of Ache
Sorry for the odd formatting on all these things I'm copying and pasting from my professor's PDFs.
I think a lot about career paths lately. There are a scant handful of things I might enjoy doing with just a bachelors degree, either for a while before I do grad school, or maybe even while I'm in grad school - for instance, if there's a bereavement coordinator opening at a funeral home, I may apply for it. I also thought about life coaching, which isn't something there's any actual credentials needed for and offers unlimited flexibility. Regardless, I'm planning to volunteer with Hospice one day per week this summer.
I have to come up with a specific direction to take for grad school - a specialty. I still lean different ways pretty often, but it's not relevant QUITE yet anyway, I suppose. Most of the time, I think I want the clinical psych Psy D.
I like that there are so many part time, low commitment options for the next few years, like teaching the single AP Psychology course at a high school, or (after the Master's level) a community college course. I don't know how long it will seem ideal, if not necessary, to have Jake and Elise learning at home for, and my older kids needs are totally different but still time consuming.
I'm extremely grateful that I have the ability to pick and choose as I do, and to prioritize in ways that have little to do with money.
My phone was left out in a rainstorm 2 days ago. I put it in a bag of rice for 24 hours and it's fine, although there was a slight setback today when I went to charge it and the charging cord just shoved a wayward bit of rice further into the phone, thus rendering it unchargeable. Safety pin to the rescue. It's downright embarrassing how many times I reached for it during that 24 hours, and the situation I found myself in at one point that involved feeling BAFFLED by how to get a message to someone.
Isaac is taking Zoloft. This is the result of a lot of deepening issues with his anxiety that I'm not willing to go into here - aside from assuring you it was extreme and at new levels for quite awhile - and some very compelling studies that havee shown children who take SSRIs for their anxiety over a period of years can often be totally cured of it for the rest of their lives. I hope SO MUCH that something like that can be true for him. He's had a major reduction in nightmares and panic so far, a little over a month in. He's also more hyper at times, in ways that I want to just be an excess of energy usually devoted to worry - but fear could be mania, which would indicate he's actually bipolar and shouldn't be on Zoloft. I talked to my mother in law a lot about that last night. It's a mixed bag, talking to her about his issues - it's WONDERFUL in that she loves me and thinks I do great for and with Isaac, and she totally and completely understands everything I have to say. It's absolutely terrifying in that she frequently does this sage nodding and references his similarity to people in her family who are/were severely bipolar and/or schizophrenic. There's some real moderate to severe mental illness in Grant's family, and it skips around, but it makes me nervous.
He's also in counseling, which I mentioned awhile back, and has managed to prove himself to his previously hesitant and doubting therapist, as intelligent and mature enough for real cognitive behavioral therapy. Combined with Zoloft, that represents "best practice" guidelines for childhood anxiety. He also loves his psychiatrist, who he has to see every month because of the meds - as do I. He's a young Asian guy who is easy to talk to, knows his stuff, and seems to like us.
I don't like that his therapist (who Isaac likes and enjoys his time with) is obviously anti-meds and somewhat visibly suspect of me putting Isaac on them. I want to be like, look lady, you could not have found someone more strongly anti-meds for kids than I have been for most of my life. I did not jump on this train lightly. I'm 11 years into this kid and pretty deeply invested. I may be projecting some of her judgements.
He just spent the night at his best friend's and came home without having any sort of meltdown afterwards - DEFINITELY a breakthrough. He actually pointed that out to me tonight when I got done reading to him. "I went to Andrew's and didn't have an anxiety attack after I got home." I hadn't even noticed the lack of freak out, but he's right. Isaac typically "presents" very very well, when he's out and around others, which is probably part of why his therapist thinks I'm overreacting with medication. He's almost a straight A student, and in STEM club, and on student council, and playing clarinet with GMYS in addition to being on the derby team. Sometimes I think the anxiety is part of his over achieving success, great manners, etc.
I can't believe it's almost 3 in the morning.
I'm someone who is greatly helped by venting, so sometimes I go COOOMPPLAAAAIN and then I mostly feel better. I think it's long been an issue here, actually, that I make a great big tldr lot of entry about something that's driving me nuts, and it kind of IS the solution, since bitching makes me feel better, but then lots of people come in concerned about how to help and I'm confused. I suppose in this situation, I will be irritated again before long, haha. And I did actually talk to her about it again today, a bit. If you'd like to aid in my de-stressing, throw me a "Fucking teenagers, I swear," or perhaps a "Gah, what is it about bathrooms and adolescent girls?"
Come to think of it I TOTALLY drove my Nana nuts taking hour and a half long showers in high school. I would actually lie in the bottom of the shower and read novels.
Moving on...
Today's schoolwork for me was mostly focused on Legal Psychology, and Religions of the Caribbean. In Legal Psychology, I had the most laugh out loud lots of NONSENSE - I kept reading the book out loud to Ananda and to Grant and just feeling flabbergasted. In a chapter on being not guilty by reason of insanity, there are bolded terms to learn such as, "the twinkie defense," "the wild beast test," and "policeman at elbow theory." There's also quite a lot of fascinatingly AWFUL stuff about the Andrea Yates trial, and Jodie Foster's stalker - that guy who shot Reagan? Geez.
Then, in a chapter about child sexual abuse, there was a lot of info on some truly horrific day care situations with dozens and even in some cases hundreds of crimes per location, from the 80s. BUT, what came out of nowhere for me is the fantastical, almost unbelievable nature of some of these crimes - I actually got very incredulous, just totally shocked, and then started laughing out loud in shock. Which is not a normal reaction to child sexual abuse, for me. But look at these two QUOTES from my textbook, and keep in mind that they came after lots of more pedestrian and very sad examples:
"...the accusations included sodomy, tunneling underground to rob graves, hacking up corpses in front of children, and sexually molesting children in a hot air balloon."
"The allegations were wide-ranging and bizarre - children reported that they had been raped and sodomized, forced to have oral sex while being photographed, tied up and hung upside down from trees, set on fire, and thrown from a boat into shark-infested waters."
O_O
I...just...can't.
In the Religion class, we're on Santeria, and I thought this was thought provoking on several levels:
Consider, for example, these remarks by Alden Tarte, a
Miami lawyer who in 1987 represented a group of homeowners who
wanted to shut down a Santeria worship center in their neighborhood:
"Santeria is not a religion. It is a throwback to dark ages. It is a cannibalistic,
voodoo-like sect which attracts the worst elements of society,
people who mutilate animals in a crude and most inhumane manner."1
The French philosopher Pierre Bourdieu contends that "sorcery"
and "magic" are names imposed upon the religions of those existing on
the margins of society in order to disqualify them. Those who do this
naming, of course, use the legitimating term "religion" to refer to their
own brand of sorcery and magic.2
As a sort of counterpoint to Mr Bourdieu's argument, though (for me), we have this:
Traditionally, preparation for ordination into Santeria has taken
as long as three years. But within the United States the process has
been pared down so that it takes as few as three months for men and
just a matter of weeks for women. The ceremony itself has been reduced
to seven days. It is still a lengthy process because the iyawo must
learn the secrets of the herbs by which diseases and illnesses can be
cured and evil diverted. The cost of ordination, as determined by the
orisha, can be as much as $5,000; although, as in any religion, there are
unscrupulous practitioners, some of whom have been known to charge
as much as $45,000...
...A small incision is made on the scalp, into which a pasty substance
containing the orisha's secrets is inserted. ...During this feast, the iyawo is
usually possessed by their orisha for the first time, although this is
becoming more rare in the United States. If it does happen, a guinea hen's
head is severed and its blood is offered to the iyawo to drink.
I do feel that almost every faith gets at least something awfully right, at least inasmuch as it feels very strongly and intuitively right to me, and for that Santeria has the concept of Ache, which has probably been called plenty of other things by other groups, too.
What is Ache
• A neutral cosmic energy under girding every
aspect of existence
• All that has life or exhibits power has ache
Ache
• Ache abounds especially in untamed
nature; wild animals, deep forests, flowing
water, moving wind, blood
• The fullness of Ache translates into
fullness of life or abundance
Ache
• Ache is without limit
• Ache is amoral but those who possess
secrets of its workings can tap ache for
good or evil
• One Goal of santeria is to enjoy the
fullness of Ache
Sorry for the odd formatting on all these things I'm copying and pasting from my professor's PDFs.
I think a lot about career paths lately. There are a scant handful of things I might enjoy doing with just a bachelors degree, either for a while before I do grad school, or maybe even while I'm in grad school - for instance, if there's a bereavement coordinator opening at a funeral home, I may apply for it. I also thought about life coaching, which isn't something there's any actual credentials needed for and offers unlimited flexibility. Regardless, I'm planning to volunteer with Hospice one day per week this summer.
I have to come up with a specific direction to take for grad school - a specialty. I still lean different ways pretty often, but it's not relevant QUITE yet anyway, I suppose. Most of the time, I think I want the clinical psych Psy D.
I like that there are so many part time, low commitment options for the next few years, like teaching the single AP Psychology course at a high school, or (after the Master's level) a community college course. I don't know how long it will seem ideal, if not necessary, to have Jake and Elise learning at home for, and my older kids needs are totally different but still time consuming.
I'm extremely grateful that I have the ability to pick and choose as I do, and to prioritize in ways that have little to do with money.
My phone was left out in a rainstorm 2 days ago. I put it in a bag of rice for 24 hours and it's fine, although there was a slight setback today when I went to charge it and the charging cord just shoved a wayward bit of rice further into the phone, thus rendering it unchargeable. Safety pin to the rescue. It's downright embarrassing how many times I reached for it during that 24 hours, and the situation I found myself in at one point that involved feeling BAFFLED by how to get a message to someone.
Isaac is taking Zoloft. This is the result of a lot of deepening issues with his anxiety that I'm not willing to go into here - aside from assuring you it was extreme and at new levels for quite awhile - and some very compelling studies that havee shown children who take SSRIs for their anxiety over a period of years can often be totally cured of it for the rest of their lives. I hope SO MUCH that something like that can be true for him. He's had a major reduction in nightmares and panic so far, a little over a month in. He's also more hyper at times, in ways that I want to just be an excess of energy usually devoted to worry - but fear could be mania, which would indicate he's actually bipolar and shouldn't be on Zoloft. I talked to my mother in law a lot about that last night. It's a mixed bag, talking to her about his issues - it's WONDERFUL in that she loves me and thinks I do great for and with Isaac, and she totally and completely understands everything I have to say. It's absolutely terrifying in that she frequently does this sage nodding and references his similarity to people in her family who are/were severely bipolar and/or schizophrenic. There's some real moderate to severe mental illness in Grant's family, and it skips around, but it makes me nervous.
He's also in counseling, which I mentioned awhile back, and has managed to prove himself to his previously hesitant and doubting therapist, as intelligent and mature enough for real cognitive behavioral therapy. Combined with Zoloft, that represents "best practice" guidelines for childhood anxiety. He also loves his psychiatrist, who he has to see every month because of the meds - as do I. He's a young Asian guy who is easy to talk to, knows his stuff, and seems to like us.
I don't like that his therapist (who Isaac likes and enjoys his time with) is obviously anti-meds and somewhat visibly suspect of me putting Isaac on them. I want to be like, look lady, you could not have found someone more strongly anti-meds for kids than I have been for most of my life. I did not jump on this train lightly. I'm 11 years into this kid and pretty deeply invested. I may be projecting some of her judgements.
He just spent the night at his best friend's and came home without having any sort of meltdown afterwards - DEFINITELY a breakthrough. He actually pointed that out to me tonight when I got done reading to him. "I went to Andrew's and didn't have an anxiety attack after I got home." I hadn't even noticed the lack of freak out, but he's right. Isaac typically "presents" very very well, when he's out and around others, which is probably part of why his therapist thinks I'm overreacting with medication. He's almost a straight A student, and in STEM club, and on student council, and playing clarinet with GMYS in addition to being on the derby team. Sometimes I think the anxiety is part of his over achieving success, great manners, etc.
I can't believe it's almost 3 in the morning.
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no subject
Date: 2015-03-31 12:34 pm (UTC)Also, I think you'd be a really good life coach.
pls read
Date: 2015-06-15 10:54 pm (UTC)his website is www.gbengaokokodu.webs.com
Regards
Miriam Gibson
+1316-712-7520