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Apr. 20th, 2014 04:22 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
altarflameI'm up too late, baking Easter cupcakes. Note that carrot cake batter becomes far more delicious when you use coconut oil instead of canola or vegetable or what have you. I can't vouch for the cupcakes themselves at this point, but the batter is on point.
I've had a never ending series of miscommunications, lately, IRL and online. I feel like I've probably hurt or offended way too many people, and in every situation I wish I could just go back to the beginning and not say anything. I kind of want to curl up under a blanket and just stay there, dozing, for a couple of weeks. I have a semi-constant urge to telepathically communicate to those around me that I love them and would just like to cuddle wordlessly, please. Unfortunately, when not speaking, I am just seeming grumpy and irritable in a way that can be taken personally.
Because it's something to do, and it makes me somewhat happy to think about: lists...
Easter stuff for everyone: carrot cupcakes, dozens of white eggs, dyeing kits and subsequent hunting, a biggish chocolate bunny apiece, Cadbury creme eggs for everyone but Isaac - who has a different sort of treat I'd never seen before (without corn), and Lindt springtime chocolate...things. Also rainbow goldfish boxes for the little kids, and chocolate graham goldfish for the big ones. Then they have some little separate nonsense - Lisa Frank stickers for Elise, tiny stuffed animals Jake's been begging for every time we're at BJ's, book of word searches for Isaac, new tiny desk bamboo for Aaron, and more (skate reinforcement) duct tape, for Annie.
They're excited. One of the most exciting parts, for me, is that ALL of Ananda's normal Sunday activities are cancelled. That, I can celebrate.
My facebook wall is RIDICULOUS, and has been all week. For the most part, I have four groups of people:
-Catholic and Orthodox folks who are constantly posting meditations on scripture, pictures of Masses and Liturgies, quotes in Greek and Latin, really elaborate stuff like specially embroidered clothes and symbolic baking for children at midnight services where everyone holds candles...
-Laughing atheists who are constantly posting things about "Zombie Jesus," jokes about Easter being on 4/20 this year (mostly referencing "the most high,") and other stuff that I know would not strike anyone in the first group as funny.
-Pissed off Pagans with infographics and memes re: Christians co-opting all of their holidays, ancient Egyptian roots of parallel stories, etc etc
-Jews debating the necessity and/or elaborateness of their secular observance of a "traditional American holiday."
It's a lot of scrollin' on by, for me, and I feel about as averse to Facebook as I did during the last election.
Additional list: Elise's birthday. It's only 10 days away! My youngest, my fifth child, is turning 7 years old.
Plans:
-high tea at the Biltmore (she's been flipping about this, and changing her mind daily about which dress to wear, since January...)
-some kind of birthday cake that involves these little chocolate stars I bought from Marshall's in December, on top
Presents:
-sheet set for her bed - she will be very pleased about this, she's been using a top sheet as a fitted and complaining constantly
-funky journal I found for her months ago
-The Blue Fairy Book
-one of those big balls with a handle, that you sit on and bounce
-giant felt board with a beach and under water scene on it, and a bajillion little felt pieces to stick on the scene. She used to have a small one with just a few pieces when she was younger that was one of her favorite toys.
-Rainbow Dash tshirt
-couple of pairs of shorts
-a used bike from the flea market, that we're going to take her with us to pick out.
She was so happy at the end of her GS Science Camp day, Friday. I asked her if she had fun, after I signed her out, and she said, "No....I had SUPER FUN!!!" and then prattled on about it the whole way home.
I found out last week that her and Jake got into Isaac's charter school. That means that, at least initially for a trial period, ALL FIVE of my kids are going to school. I'm still trying to digest this idea. Mostly, what to do with ALL THAT CHILDLESS TIME? On the one hand I feel like I have to take 6 classes and get a part time job - on the other, I think that it won't really be all that much time, between drop offs and pick ups if I just keeping going to school twice a week like I do now. I could use the other 3 days for things like grocery shopping, my counseling and shot appts, exercising (then NONE of that would take away from "family time"), chaperoning/volunteering for classrooms and trips, and actually keeping the house clean. (<--super weird idea) I mean, all of that could eat up the 18 "free" hours per week pretty easily.
What I most want to do with the time (around college) is write, and that was Grant's first suggestion, too. I probably will. It's strange how scary and selfish it feels to really take chunks of time for that. Also exciting and wonderful, though.
While it's certainly possible that any of my kids could have issues in school, I think Ananda and Jake will do really really well from the get go. Isaac has adapted and we already know the good way outweighs any bad, for him. Aaron I think could go either way, and it's based on how he reacts to the situation - will the structure and consistency make up for the extra demands and stimulation? We'll see. For Elise, I think it's all about what teacher(s) she gets. My current plan is that barring some sort of truly horrific and unlikely shit, everybody has to really try it out and give it a chance until Christmas break - then, we can talk about options if someone(s) is unhappy in a lasting way.
As it stands, everybody is pretty pumped. Ananda and Aaron auditioned for the arts charter of their own free will and I sat down with Jake and Elise to talk about whether to put them on the list for Isaac's school, and both of them really wanted me to. They were thrilled when I told them they got in. We'll see what happens once they're dealing with tests and grades and getting up earlier day after day. I would really like it to work for them.
Well, the cupcakes are done, and I've ranted on tumblr about how NO DAMMIT MONEY REALLY DOES NOT BUY HAPPINESS IT IS NOT JUST "PRIVILEGE" TALKING TO SAY THAT (probably invoking more misunderstandings and eventually wishing I'd just never said anything...) Off to bed, with me...
I've had a never ending series of miscommunications, lately, IRL and online. I feel like I've probably hurt or offended way too many people, and in every situation I wish I could just go back to the beginning and not say anything. I kind of want to curl up under a blanket and just stay there, dozing, for a couple of weeks. I have a semi-constant urge to telepathically communicate to those around me that I love them and would just like to cuddle wordlessly, please. Unfortunately, when not speaking, I am just seeming grumpy and irritable in a way that can be taken personally.
Because it's something to do, and it makes me somewhat happy to think about: lists...
Easter stuff for everyone: carrot cupcakes, dozens of white eggs, dyeing kits and subsequent hunting, a biggish chocolate bunny apiece, Cadbury creme eggs for everyone but Isaac - who has a different sort of treat I'd never seen before (without corn), and Lindt springtime chocolate...things. Also rainbow goldfish boxes for the little kids, and chocolate graham goldfish for the big ones. Then they have some little separate nonsense - Lisa Frank stickers for Elise, tiny stuffed animals Jake's been begging for every time we're at BJ's, book of word searches for Isaac, new tiny desk bamboo for Aaron, and more (skate reinforcement) duct tape, for Annie.
They're excited. One of the most exciting parts, for me, is that ALL of Ananda's normal Sunday activities are cancelled. That, I can celebrate.
My facebook wall is RIDICULOUS, and has been all week. For the most part, I have four groups of people:
-Catholic and Orthodox folks who are constantly posting meditations on scripture, pictures of Masses and Liturgies, quotes in Greek and Latin, really elaborate stuff like specially embroidered clothes and symbolic baking for children at midnight services where everyone holds candles...
-Laughing atheists who are constantly posting things about "Zombie Jesus," jokes about Easter being on 4/20 this year (mostly referencing "the most high,") and other stuff that I know would not strike anyone in the first group as funny.
-Pissed off Pagans with infographics and memes re: Christians co-opting all of their holidays, ancient Egyptian roots of parallel stories, etc etc
-Jews debating the necessity and/or elaborateness of their secular observance of a "traditional American holiday."
It's a lot of scrollin' on by, for me, and I feel about as averse to Facebook as I did during the last election.
Additional list: Elise's birthday. It's only 10 days away! My youngest, my fifth child, is turning 7 years old.
Plans:
-high tea at the Biltmore (she's been flipping about this, and changing her mind daily about which dress to wear, since January...)
-some kind of birthday cake that involves these little chocolate stars I bought from Marshall's in December, on top
Presents:
-sheet set for her bed - she will be very pleased about this, she's been using a top sheet as a fitted and complaining constantly
-funky journal I found for her months ago
-The Blue Fairy Book
-one of those big balls with a handle, that you sit on and bounce
-giant felt board with a beach and under water scene on it, and a bajillion little felt pieces to stick on the scene. She used to have a small one with just a few pieces when she was younger that was one of her favorite toys.
-Rainbow Dash tshirt
-couple of pairs of shorts
-a used bike from the flea market, that we're going to take her with us to pick out.
She was so happy at the end of her GS Science Camp day, Friday. I asked her if she had fun, after I signed her out, and she said, "No....I had SUPER FUN!!!" and then prattled on about it the whole way home.
I found out last week that her and Jake got into Isaac's charter school. That means that, at least initially for a trial period, ALL FIVE of my kids are going to school. I'm still trying to digest this idea. Mostly, what to do with ALL THAT CHILDLESS TIME? On the one hand I feel like I have to take 6 classes and get a part time job - on the other, I think that it won't really be all that much time, between drop offs and pick ups if I just keeping going to school twice a week like I do now. I could use the other 3 days for things like grocery shopping, my counseling and shot appts, exercising (then NONE of that would take away from "family time"), chaperoning/volunteering for classrooms and trips, and actually keeping the house clean. (<--super weird idea) I mean, all of that could eat up the 18 "free" hours per week pretty easily.
What I most want to do with the time (around college) is write, and that was Grant's first suggestion, too. I probably will. It's strange how scary and selfish it feels to really take chunks of time for that. Also exciting and wonderful, though.
While it's certainly possible that any of my kids could have issues in school, I think Ananda and Jake will do really really well from the get go. Isaac has adapted and we already know the good way outweighs any bad, for him. Aaron I think could go either way, and it's based on how he reacts to the situation - will the structure and consistency make up for the extra demands and stimulation? We'll see. For Elise, I think it's all about what teacher(s) she gets. My current plan is that barring some sort of truly horrific and unlikely shit, everybody has to really try it out and give it a chance until Christmas break - then, we can talk about options if someone(s) is unhappy in a lasting way.
As it stands, everybody is pretty pumped. Ananda and Aaron auditioned for the arts charter of their own free will and I sat down with Jake and Elise to talk about whether to put them on the list for Isaac's school, and both of them really wanted me to. They were thrilled when I told them they got in. We'll see what happens once they're dealing with tests and grades and getting up earlier day after day. I would really like it to work for them.
Well, the cupcakes are done, and I've ranted on tumblr about how NO DAMMIT MONEY REALLY DOES NOT BUY HAPPINESS IT IS NOT JUST "PRIVILEGE" TALKING TO SAY THAT (probably invoking more misunderstandings and eventually wishing I'd just never said anything...) Off to bed, with me...
