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Aug. 21st, 2008 09:44 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
altarflameI think I was wrong in my post with/about G, and need to calm down. Let me explain:
I was mad earlier, because I was counting on getting her here and planning my appointment, but we are the ones who got her sick, so...come on. She came in yesterday when it wasn't that bad, just annoying, and did a great, 110% job with a stuffy nose and a sinus headache...I don't/can't expect that when she's feeling truly ill.
The birth thing is also an understandable reason to not come in, I mean yeah I wish I'd understood better up front about her still actively working as a doula, but if I had? It wouldn't have made a difference. I still would have hired her in a heartbeat.
Anyway, that one ultra late day was crappy, but the little tiny bit late as a general rule thing doesn't really bother me, I was just mentioning it because I was irritable about my messed up plans in the moment.
The bottom line that I've realized, after thinking about this, that has lead to my new take:
*I've* been very demanding of flexibility on her part, and she's never complained about that. I picked our initial meeting time and our schedule, and then I called to ask about her coming in the evening instead of the morning one day her first week, and called the day before the first of her 3 shifts this week to change all her hours up to accomadate us sleeping later, and she had no complaints, and I've said from the beginning that we're both "feeling out" these time frames and can "reserve the right to change things if it doesn't work for either of us" - basically I think we're just starting out and I've acted like it's all tentative the whole time. I mean I brought up the thing about having to pay for cancelled appointments and she was very accomadating and let me know as soon as that last Mama delivered so that I could go ahead with scheduling. She didn't even know I had one set up for today.
Anyway. If she calls in for some other random stuff in the next week I'll feel like I need to talk to her about it, but as things stand I really want to give her the benefit of the doubt, both because I've set things up to be kind of shaky and not like solid shifts, and also because she is truly the nanny of my dreams in all other respects. I just need to find friendly ways to make our schedule seem more consistent and solid. As it is I'm not sure she has any indication that I am really planning things around her at all on a day to day basis, most of our talks have been about how weird it is for me to get used to having childcare and how I don't know what to do with it.
I really think the previous post would have seemed less intense to everyone reading if it was taken in the context of the whole situation, and not just my side while I'm frustrated.
I was mad earlier, because I was counting on getting her here and planning my appointment, but we are the ones who got her sick, so...come on. She came in yesterday when it wasn't that bad, just annoying, and did a great, 110% job with a stuffy nose and a sinus headache...I don't/can't expect that when she's feeling truly ill.
The birth thing is also an understandable reason to not come in, I mean yeah I wish I'd understood better up front about her still actively working as a doula, but if I had? It wouldn't have made a difference. I still would have hired her in a heartbeat.
Anyway, that one ultra late day was crappy, but the little tiny bit late as a general rule thing doesn't really bother me, I was just mentioning it because I was irritable about my messed up plans in the moment.
The bottom line that I've realized, after thinking about this, that has lead to my new take:
*I've* been very demanding of flexibility on her part, and she's never complained about that. I picked our initial meeting time and our schedule, and then I called to ask about her coming in the evening instead of the morning one day her first week, and called the day before the first of her 3 shifts this week to change all her hours up to accomadate us sleeping later, and she had no complaints, and I've said from the beginning that we're both "feeling out" these time frames and can "reserve the right to change things if it doesn't work for either of us" - basically I think we're just starting out and I've acted like it's all tentative the whole time. I mean I brought up the thing about having to pay for cancelled appointments and she was very accomadating and let me know as soon as that last Mama delivered so that I could go ahead with scheduling. She didn't even know I had one set up for today.
Anyway. If she calls in for some other random stuff in the next week I'll feel like I need to talk to her about it, but as things stand I really want to give her the benefit of the doubt, both because I've set things up to be kind of shaky and not like solid shifts, and also because she is truly the nanny of my dreams in all other respects. I just need to find friendly ways to make our schedule seem more consistent and solid. As it is I'm not sure she has any indication that I am really planning things around her at all on a day to day basis, most of our talks have been about how weird it is for me to get used to having childcare and how I don't know what to do with it.
I really think the previous post would have seemed less intense to everyone reading if it was taken in the context of the whole situation, and not just my side while I'm frustrated.
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Date: 2008-08-22 03:00 am (UTC)In your shoes, I would probably let her know that you would like a little more notice whenever possible and see how that changes things.
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Date: 2008-08-22 04:39 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-08-22 12:32 pm (UTC)BTW, I'm glad to see you posting more...that's just me.