(no subject)

[altarflame]

So, as previously stated times ten million, we've been living here, as a family, sharing a fairly large house with my single father in law for the past...five and a half years? Ananda, Aaron and I moved in here with Grant and his dad when A and A were 1 and 2.

And it's mostly been great - Grant Sr is really, really easy to live with. There have been some tense times about, say, the mess the kids make, but they've been mostly isolated incidents and since we got back from Boston last year it's been really obvious that he loves us and missed us - he even talked about us all upgrading to a larger home, but staying together, at one point. He travels a LOT; I think he's probably been gone between 1 and 3 weeks out of every month, so far this year. So it's "just us" here often. When he IS home, he works long hours with a commute and spends most of his home time in his room, watching tv or on the computer, or on the back porch, where he smokes and has a tv and an excercise machine. Isaac and Elise are always THRILLED to see him and play with him for 10 or 15 minutes everytime he walks in the door, with cars or little books or whatever. It made him sad when we talked about moving away.

So, anyway, yeah, it's become a very "livable" thing, we worked out the laundry wars such that I just don't do laundry on the weekends and he does all of his then, yada yada yada.



I have to say, though, I am THRILLED to be getting out of here for a couple of reasons.
1. We just don't have enough space anymore. We've added 3 kids to the mix and Mindy's twins are increasingly spending evenings and weekends here, too, not to mention Robbie moving in - it's just kind of nuts. My clothes are in a closet in the kids room, Jake and Isaac's clothes are in a dresser in our room, Grant's clothes are stuffed in an unused deep freezer in the laundry room, Ananda and Aaron's clothes are in a dresser in their room that is bursting at the seams, and Elise's clothes are in a laundry basket O_o We've exhausted every avenue of hanging stuffed animal nets, under the bed storage systems, and free floating shelves. All of our shoes are in a big old tupperware by the front door. I'm really, really hoping it's a little easier to keep a bigger house, that is just us, clean.
2. It is really, really awkward to exist as a separate, functioning family among kids who are not a part of it and have totally different standards. Today is a great example: Nadia came and asked me if Jake could have some Reese's Puffs (cereal). I said no, I'm sorry, but we have some cereal he likes. She said they have Lucky Charms, too, can he have that?

And, ok. These freaking situations. If we were in our own place, we'd never have Lucky Charms or Reese's Puffs sitting on the counter, so Jake wouldn't feel like he was missing anything to begin with, because he really does like the cereal we buy him, a lot.

And, if we just saw cousins and grandparents on holidays or occassional visits, it would be no big deal. For instance, if Jake were spending the afternoon up with Teresa (mil), which happens like once a month, I'd say of course, feed him some reese's puffs. But this is our home, our daily life, so he's gonna be eating this stuff all the time and not liking the healthy stuff anymore, if I don't make some kind of "stand", and it's just annoying. I can't count the number of times Nadia, Patrice or Robbie has been getting cereal at the same time we are and have went to hand us the milk they're using, and I have to politely decline as I move to the fridge to grab the organic milk we buy. Organic milk shouldn't be some big thing you think about being "oooh, ORGANIC" every time you use it, you know? It's just your preference while you're shopping, it's what you pick for your family, then you use it without thinking about it, damn. But Grant Sr won't even use organic milk in his coffee, he seriously will drive to the grocery store in the morning before work to get more "regular" milk and bring it back to splash in his coffee, if only OUR milk is left when he wakes up. Not wanting to pay for organic I understand, but being organic-PHOBIC makes no sense to me. Boggles my mind.

About half an hour ago, my kids were sitting around the table happily eating Veggie Crisps while Nadia sat there with her individual sized bag of Doritos. Nadia, for the record, is becoming obese - the doctor is worried and my in laws as well as Mindy talk crap about it and make her feel bad OFTEN. She has to buy pants in sizes several inches too long and then have them hemmed, for them to fit around her waist, and won't swim anymore without a bathingsuit cover-up. SHE'S NOT IN CHARGE OF HER OWN FOOD CHOICES, PEOPLE.

Anyway, I brought out some crates of blueberries and blackberries because it's finally that magical time of the year when they're cheap enough to eat on their own, and not just use for baking. My kids were all excited and lining up with their hands out. I offered some to Nadia, and she shook her head with a look of disgust on her face. WTF? Kids don't like berries, now?

As the ultimate finale to this morning, Grant was telling his dad about all the weight he's lost since he's started eating well again. His dad asked what he's doing and Grant was telling him - no refined sugar or flour, no bacon - his dad cut him off. "What, whoa, now BACON is bad for you? You've gotta be kidding me!" We thought he was kidding. Grant acted flabbergasted, chuckled like it was sarcasm, finally realized...he was serious. This 48 year old man who works for the DEA and watches CNN every evening...didn't have any idea bacon was bad for you? "Why is it bad? What's wrong with it?" *blink blink* "Um, it's pork fat? Pig is the most unhealthy animal you can eat, and bacon is the worst part of it?" His counter was, "If it's bad for you, then why do they put it in everything?" G said, "Because it tastes good." G Sr walked off shaking his head. I have been blown away about this ever since.


The food is not all, though - there are the times that the fatherless kids who've never even really known their dads (or lived with their moms) watch all five of ours RUN screaming and laughing to greet Daddy as he walks in the door. They stand their awkwardly and then walk of as our kids wait in line for their hugs :/ It rips my freaking heart out. Or the times they walk past the room where I'm reading aloud to Annie and Aaron, or start to run past the kitchen but then stop, because I've got someone on a counter and someone standing by me, and we're cooking together. Quiet look and then they're out. Sometimes they come have tea outside with us on a blanket, or I invite them to come on a walk or offer them a muffin or something, but mostly it's just really awful. They're usually on their way in or out, because they're constantly shuttled back and forth between Sr and Teresa, with Mindy picking up little bits of slack in between, and with really late pick up times from after care and early bed, that doesn't leave much extra...I actually offered to homeschool Robbie along with my own kids a couple of years back - and that is saying something, because Robbie used to annoy the HELL out of me back then - and they jumped all over it...and then signed him up for a charter school. I don't know, man. Robbie is easy to get along with now, and funny, and Elise loves him, but I often wonder how long it's gonna be before the angst hits and he starts asking bitter questions...

Then there are the days that they burst in excited that they're about to go to Chuck E Cheese, and we are not, or the nights my kids get ready because we're headed out to the fair...they are really bad at dealing with stuff like that and tend to cry and throw fits whenever Opa won't take them where we're going, which is usually. Which, horrible as it sounds, is often good, because we're often leaving BECAUSE they're here, because they throw fits and cry for a lot of different reasons. And are generally bearing Bratz dolls and mp3 players loaded up with really, uh, brazen hip hop ;) It's really often "time for school!" or "let's go read" when they walk in, and, well, that gets tiring when they come almost every day, like they have lately. And Ananda and Aaron are smart enough to catch on - I've started having to have talks with them about how Patrice and Nadia don't really have a Mom or Dad taking care of them and so it's good for us to love them and do things with them, but there are gonna be times that they do things they shouldn't or say things that aren't so great, because nobody's ever taught them any different. And, yes, that is why they wail and shriek like Isaac does...at 9. I've already had a "Why we can't adopt Patrice" talk with Ananda when she asked, with the addendum "Why we especially can't ONLY adopt Patrice, and not Nadia too" discussion :/ *big old sigh*


I've been taking snapshots everywhere we go. They aren't always great, but I'm glad I have them.


Ananda and I were having BTs (I don't like L) and talking about a mermaid theme for my new bathroom today, and she looked SO BEAUTIFUL to me...I'm not the best photographer and don't have the best camera, so it doesn't show to full effect at all... she has so much green in her light brown eyes, and this little spattering of freckles over the bridge of her nose, and this great dimple on one side...








On Friday at Game Night they started playing "Crazy Cup Game" with Ananda's friend Joanne. As far as I can tell it entails a lot of throwing and slapping a plastic cup. And a lot of laughing.



Aaaand Isaac had his monster boots on the wrong feet.


Apparently Ananda and Aaron were wearing the same clothes on Friday night that they were on Sunday morning. But I KNOW they wore other clothes on Saturday. I don't get it.
But I was trying so hard to get a pic of them running the whole way from the sanctuary to "Children's Church" hand in hand.


I will not describe the ordeal it was to drop Isaac off with the other four year olds. It was...harrowing. I had to call my mother for moral support. While I waited to see if his psycho tantrum would diminish, I hid in a room four rooms down (still able to hear him clearly) and took a picture of this poster:


Are they saying that if you live according to the bible, you give old ladies flowers, make multicultural friends, help people get back up, take good care of the earth by not littering, and....buy cds rather than download music? O_o That's all I can get from it, but G says their body language is saying something else, like...some other thing we can't figure out :p


I have a lot of comments I want to leave and WILL DO IT SOON. Tonight or tomorrow.

Comments

[julierocket.livejournal.com]

I feel you on needing your own space, but wanting the closeness. I'm figuring that one out right now with leaving my parents' home to move in with Mark in just a few months.

Ananda is beautiful. She looks so old, Tina...

[altarflame.livejournal.com]

She looks so old

I've noticed, let me tell you. See that icon? We were 19 and 1. Things go fast. She is like the living chronometer that lets people I went to high school with know how much time they've wasted since graduation ;)

[mommydama.livejournal.com]

Hmmm....perhaps it is music with bad influences in it she should'n't be listening to and she's telling the salesperson about it so he can label it correctly? Heh. I don't know.

Ananda is beautiful.

[neurotic-orchid.livejournal.com]

That was a great post. I enjoyed reading it. And Ananda is beautiful!

[heavynleigh.livejournal.com]

maybe it's just suggesting that you buy wholesome music? I have no idea. That poster is weird.

I'm excited to see pics of the new house! ;-)

[eternamariposa.livejournal.com]

If ever there were someone out there who could understand precisely what you feel like when living in someone else's house gets you down it would be me. In Laws incorporated, that's me ;).

[custard-kisses.livejournal.com]

Um, it's pork fat? Pig is the most unhealthy animal you can eat, and bacon is the worst part of it?"

Pork isn't bad for you, unless you eat it all day long every day but then lots of things are if you eat them that much. Pork is actually a very lean meat and fairly nutritious, there was probably more nutrition in the B part of your B&T sandwich than the T part ;)
As for bacon it's generally considered harmful in excess because it's a cured meat and contains nitrates, not because it comes from a pig.

Ananada is lovely, all your children and lovely.
When do you move?

[altarflame.livejournal.com]

I was under the impression that because pigs don't sweat, toxins build up in their flesh to some horrible degree, and you consume that when you eat them? I honestly can't recall if this is knowledge I gleaned in school or something a wayward relative told me so I don't know how based in fact it really is, perhaps I'll google about this soon.

I was actually having a turkey bt :p But yeah, you still get all those nitrates with the turkey bacon, it's just a lot less fatty.

As for when we move, the entry I made today probably explained that...I have no idea. And sometimes think maybe it will be come fall :x Here's hoping NOT, this is just like late pregnancy when every passing day makes it seem FURTHER away instead of closer...

[babyslime.livejournal.com]

It's trying to make the bible look 'hip'. :-P

You know, it's crazy but one of the major reasons I want to visit is to take pics of your kids. :-X

[altarflame.livejournal.com]

Well let me tell you, you taking pics of them is certainly a perk for me too. Not to mention having pictures of "our" kids. Together. !

[daveandmonika.livejournal.com]

The way the guy is frowning and her backpack is open in the poster it looks like she stole it and is returning it.

[altarflame.livejournal.com]

I had that thought, too. They certainly could have made it a little clearer. The other examples in the poster are pretty, well, clear :p

[superflippy.livejournal.com]

I didn't realize there were two other kids there in addition to Robbie. Yes, y'all definitely need your own space, both physically and otherwise.

That picture of Isaac and his shoes is so cute, and makes me giggle.

[altarflame.livejournal.com]

My sister in law, Mindy, has 3 kids, but they've all been raised pretty much from birth by mil and/or fil (they divorced after caring for Robbie for a couple of years, so it's been split up since then with mil carrying the bulk of the work). The twin girls technically don't live here, and honestly a week will sometimes pass without me seeing them, but then other weeks they're here for an hour every evening, or spend the whole weekend.

The times they HAVE been in their mom's care have been really...intense. REALLY, REALLY intense. I think they have more issues from those times than they do from the general absence of parents otherwise, though I can't know for sure.

[sualkin.livejournal.com]

What an interesting poster. Way to market the bible, I guess. lol.

Ananada is so pretty. She looks so old with that little bob.

[altarflame.livejournal.com]

You know, she cut her hair similar to that as a toddler and I just evened it up, and I NEVER would have cut her hair back then...but I loved it, the way it ended up. Everyone loved it. She was so cute and beautiful with it, and I was thinking of it when we were cutting her hair again. I am usually really a long hair person, and her middle name is RAPUNZEL, for crying out loud, but...well...look at her ;)

[http://users.livejournal.com/_delphiki_/]

I can get the whole "two families" thing when T is over. It's not exactly the same but there are some similarities. Maddox and I aren't big meat eaters. We never really have been but she NEEDS meat with every meal and thinks it's a snack if there's no meat. Tofu, rice, and green beans are a wonderful meal for us. Sometimes we eat mac and cheese and fruit. Not the best but eh- my energy isn't the highest now after my g-ma died and I'm sure we'll get back to healthier eating soon. We eat spagetti with NO meat and loads of veggies! Oh no! ;)

Your kids are so pretty. I really hope we can work out a day to hang out while I am in Florida.

[altarflame.livejournal.com]

I love meatless spaghetti. With a ton of mushrooms in it. MMMMMMMmmmmm.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_delphiki_/]

I've never made it with extra mushrooms, hmmmm, must make spagetti with loads of mushrooms tomorrow night.

[evrydayjnglbtch.livejournal.com]

Oh my, they are so big.
lovely.