Oh man

[altarflame]

I had the shittiest day EVER, I was productive but I was tiredofbeingtired and short tempered and just feeling so overwhelmed and crappy. There were a couple of "withdraw and count and breathe and pray" moments. These 13 hour vanless, husbandless sick days can really kiss my ass.

There is something about wanting to throw things through the window and scream but, instead, picking someone up in a patient way and murmuring to them patiently while they howl in your ear that gradually drives you insane.

However, my husband came home and ordered me amazing takeout while I was in the shower(!). And when he brought back my steak, stuffed potato, brocoli and onion straws, he also brought a bag of Riesen, which I adore. No, I have not been able to hold out sugar free. No, I do not care right now either ;) And then somehow like magic Jake fell asleep on the couch while Elise got wrapped up playing with the other kids in the living room and we managed to have some really good lovin. The "more than ten minutes and nobody interrupting" kind.

Steak, chocolate, shower, sex. Alright, I am ready for the nightshift. Drunkenly, gigglingly so. If only he had a long enough lunch break to come home for, afternoons and evenings might be more palatable.

---

With my newfound lease on life, I can appreciate the good things that happened today in a better way, and will recount them here to add to my general good mood.

-Ananda decided she adamantly wanted a return to the haircut she gave herself when she was 2.5 - a chin length bob. I love her hair but hate dealing with the battle to keep her brushing it, and she used to be freaking adorable back in the day like that, so we went for it. It looks great and she's psyched because Laura just gave her a bunch of sparkly butterfly clips and now they work (before they weren't strong enough to hold a section of long hair back). It's actually like...to her lips? I had to cut the hair off the back of her neck for it to be even. She's been looking in the mirror and smiling ever since.

-I realized when finding it left open that she's been writing in the journal Nancy gave her, almost daily. Well, sometimes she's just drawing pictures. But it's really, REALLY weird, she's just like I was...I have journals from when I was 7! With the date at the top all messed up and everything spelled wrong and backwards...she really is me all over again. I am mildly skeptical about some of her "entries", like "I thic Aaron is hot and I hot too". I mean, what? Did she hear me saying "Aaron is going to be hot one day" to someone? Or have Patrice and Nadia or the bookstore kids or our neighbor kids been talking about hotness? Bah! For the record, my 7 year old diary is NONSTOP back to back "I love Victor, I kissed him on the playground today...Today I love Donnie, and his mom is going to drive me to church so that's a date! Oh I think David is dreamy now, we're going to get married..." so "me and my brother are hot" is somewhat mild. Mostly I'm thoughtful of how I hadn't really been previously aware she had an inner life separate from she and I's relationship, which I now realize is really dumb of me.

-We finally figured out how they can get the "bring a friend" AWANA jewel - it's been a conundrum because all of their friends right now are either Catholic, Mormon or Pagan and I don't even feel comfortable asking any of those parents if their kids can come to AWANA. But Patrice and Nadia would probably love it and I can't imagine Oma or Opa (mil and fil) having any problem with that, as they are all on the same sort of church-hopping Protestant search for a home that we are.

-Isaac's birthday was a hit yesterday. I used box cake mix for the first time ever, due to all sorts of factors like it was in the cabinet and I had heard interesting things about how to jazz it up...it came out REALLY good. I used butter instead of oil and added (melted) semisweet baking chocolate to a devil's food box, and an instant banana cream pudding box to the yellow box, and then marbled them together in two rectangular pans...I don't even like yellow cake but it was great. I had bought cake toppers (Dora and Diego) at Publix. And I layered some sugared strawberries I sliced up in between the two cakes...


This entry has officially been derailed by watching The Upside of Anger on TBS and shopping for Elise's upcoming birthday and a journal I promised Aaron, on Target.com - stay tuned for multimedia updating event tomorrow.

Comments

[babyslime.livejournal.com]

Your icon cracks me up.

[babyslime.livejournal.com]

How come I've always been the first to read and/or comment on your entries lately? You must be posting them at 4am your time.

[altarflame.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I've basically only been posting between 3 and 5 am for months...I think a lot of people have been missing my entries because of when they pop up, actually, which I find mind boggling because I always go back to the last thing I saw on my friends' page and start from there, so there is no way to "miss" anything. But, whatever I guess.

[aeoconnor.livejournal.com]

"Steak, chocolate, shower, sex"

How do you manage to do it anymore? I only have three kids and I can't seem to figure it out :)

[altarflame.livejournal.com]

Two things come to mind:

1. The third kid is the hardest adjustment. I am on a large family messageboard where it's unanimous that #3 is the killer. People there with 8-11 kids actually say, "Four, fourteen, what's the difference?" I don't think it's quite THAT simple, but Jake definitely slid right in without much fuss or bother, and I really think Elise would have as well if she hadn't had so many health complications early on. Isaac was my hardest baby in general so it's hard to separate that but I also think he was a really, really hard adjustment just in that the dynamic shifts...

2. It's all in the partnership. All four of those things were contingent on Grant being home. I tried to take a shower the other day here by myself and before I could get my shampoo rinsed out Ananda was screaming that Jake pooped in the hallway and Elise was crawling through it. I ended up having a shower for three, plus poop, and then getting out without conditioner to scrub the carpet. It's almost impossible for me to read to everyone individually before bed without him to help me double team them, etc.

hey!

[redcosmic-earth.livejournal.com]

I was flipping through an Miami Dade College literary magazine at work and came across some info that made me think of you. There are all sorts of workshops happening at the Wolfson Campus for the Writers Institute....though the workshops are way too expensive for you, they also offer daily briefing lectures that only cost $35 bucks.

There is one called "What's the Buzz? Getting Your Manuscript Read, Noticed, and Talked About!", which is presented by this woman Diane Higgins who is an independent literary agent and a publishing and writing coach. Here's a link to that info:
http://www.flcenterlitarts.com/new/pages/class/spring_08/wi_08/higgens.htm

Also, they are offering manuscript consultations from professional editors and publishers, including Diane Higgins (mentioned about^)....that only cost $75.00. Here's a link to that info as well:
http://www.flcenterlitarts.com/writersinstitute.htm

Re: hey!

[aranel.livejournal.com]

This person may be completely legitimate, but there are way, way too many people out there trying to take advantage of writers who aspire to publication. Rule 1 of legitimate publishing is "money should flow toward the writer." Legitimate agents do get paid, yes, but they take a percentage of your check only after they get you a contract. Any service -- editor, publisher, agent, "coach" or what have you -- asking people to pay for anything out of pocket should be regarded as highly suspicious. Remember, there is no qualification required to call yourself a literary agent -- anyone can claim the title, many do, and any of them who charges you for anything before your book sells is skeevy. The only exception I can think of is classes or workshops or conference registrations, and I would only pay money for those if it was to work with someone I had actually independently heard of outside of the "we can help you get published!" industry, e.g. an author whose books I liked.

Re: hey!

[(Anonymous)]

This is 100% legit. Miami Dade College is one of the most respected colleges in the nation, and people actually come all over the world to be a part of these workshops. This would be a phenonmenal opportunity for any writer.

Good looking out though.

Re: hey!

[redcosmic-earth.livejournal.com]

that was me, by the way^

Re: hey!

[altarflame.livejournal.com]

What's your currently used email?

Re: hey!

[redcosmic-earth.livejournal.com]

spinningfireflies@hotmail.com

[aranel.livejournal.com]

I'm sure the college itself is great, and there's nothing wrong with workshops or lectures. Charging $75 to look at a manuscript, though... well, let's just say I wouldn't pay it.

[julierocket.livejournal.com]

I still have my first diary-- a Babysitter's Club diary that I started writing in fourth grade. It has an entry in it about the birth of my cousin Vicky, who is now 15 and a bridesmaid in my wedding :)

I remember the first line... "Trouble is brewing." It went on to describe two girls in my class getting into a fight about really nothing at all and it's just hilarious. And I love how dramatic I was.