I never thought I'd be so excited about a doctor's visit.

Aaron's swollen cheek just kept getting worse yesterday - last night he was moaning, whimpering, crying the night away in his bed. I put breastmilk and garlic in his ear at one point, and Grant went out and bought some children's ibuprofen. This morning he was miserable, couldn't eat - and the swelling was discolored, too, and had moved up a bit so that it looked like his ear in addition to his lymph node swelling.

Sooo, I called Kristen up and asked her where she takes her kids. My experiences with pediatricians have been so horrible that I gave up on taking them at all as a waste of time quite awhile back. I've been scolded for co-sleeping, ordered to take Ananda to speech therapy when she was stuttering, ordered to have Aaron evaluated when he talked late (for mental retardation, no less), and told that I must stand across the room and not make eye contact with my child while they're being looked at or worked on, because it "just encourages them to carry on". All this so we could get mumps despite vaccinations and catch a bad staph infection at the hospital.

But I do (really, I swear) still know medicine has it's place and this was obviously one of those times. I called Kristen and she referred me to someone up in Kendall. We had to have Laura and Frank drive us since our van is still brakeless, ON THEIR ANNIVERSARY NO LESS, but they were super nice about it and had been referred to the same ped so they wanted to check him out anyway.

The guy's office is floor to ceiling Spiderman. This is automatically a big plus for Aaron. Like, huge comic-style murals all over the waiting room, dolls hanging from the ceiling behind the window where the receptionist was, stickers on the chairs. They fit us in right away even though we'd never been there before, and were incredibly nice about us being late. We had to self-pay as none of us are insured, $100 we totally don't have right now, but it was worth it.

The ped had Spiderman embroidered on his medical coat, and a 10 foot glossy movie poster dominating the exam room we were in (and nightlights plugged into the outlets). We were seen so fast, he was SO NICE to Aaron, who did really well. And then when it was over, 2 things. 1. He said, "Do you want to see where Spiderman lives?" and showed us this INSANE SPIDERMAN ROOM. Like...every patient he's ever had has been bringing him every piece of memorabilia (down to outgrown shoes and Happy Meals boxes) that has passed through their hands, for 10 years. He even has a life-size one that Blockbuster donated. And then 2.

HE GAVE US THE ANTIBIOTICS AARON NEEDED. Like, for free. I was so relieved, I knew we would have to find a way to pull from the business account and get more in debt or something, but I was so relieved.

He also had the name of a very nice, like minded cardiologist we can take Isaac to. (Isaac has a congenital cardiac anomaly, it's an extra pulmonary valve that causes no problems thus far but is supposed to be monitored annually as he grows. It's what they initially thought was causing his rapid breathing in NICU, but turned out to be harmless).

The guy was thrilled to hear that we homeschool, doesn't push vaccinations. He said I can continue the breastmilk in the ear and it will speed the eardrum healing.

Geez Louise. I was on cloud 9 the whole way home.

FYI, Aaron had the cold all of us had, but it made his one lymph node on his left jawline swell up huge. That caused fluid to get trapped in his eardrum (the pressure from the nodular swelling). Now lymph node and eardrum are both swollen, pushing against each other and infected. Poor little guy :/ He was SO GOOD, though, for all of it. Super brave, Annie told him she was proud.

Finances

Grant is under extreme financial duress right now because of doctor bills and van repairs - both large expenses that we did not see coming and are in addition to all the normal things we struggle to pay. Coming together as they did (we are also acutely aware of Isaac's need to get checked out at the pediatric cardiologist asap, and if there is anything "pediatric cardiologist" says, it's "REALLY EXPENSIVE").

He feels like he is overwhelmed and helpless in the face of supporting us all, like he thinks he is an abysmal failure or something because we "live with his dad".

But I have a different perspective, as someone who grew up with the family ONLY owning piece of crap junkers that were given to us or bought with a tax return or what have you, and got evicted regularly; I mean, if I needed school clothes or bras or medicine I had to go ask my grandparents. Just the fact that he was able to go buy a new vehicle and that we make payments on it is this huge thing to me - something "other people" do. Same with student loan payments or our water filter system that's financed. I grew up with this idea that financed walter filtration and softening systems and student loans were bills rich people had.

To me, that we have options like "pulling $100 out of the business account for the doctor" and "getting another $1500 advance from a customer even though their site isn't completely done" is such a blessing. I feel like we're "real people" - it seems so freaking LEGITIMATE to me that he has those sorts of abilities from his hard work. That we can handle it when someone gets sick right as the brakes go to hell, without it even taking away from our "normal money". A year ago our only recourse would have been "Call Shaun and beg". And my mom even still sees these sorts of emergencies as a reason to head to the pawn shop or call her parents.

We aren't where we would like to be, but I am still proud of him everyday for working so hard and doing all that he does. I mean he's a high school dropout and a 24 year old father of four - I think he's rising to the challenge very well. I remember when Liqwid was just a pipe dream of his. Now he's known all over town and has dozens of customers.


Also, slightly ot, I've been thinking we need to make a list of "annual expenses" so that we can just take them all out of the tax return every year. Maybe have a separate account for those things, as they come up. We don't have any savings at all, or available personal credit, but this is at least a step in the right direction of things not "popping up" throughout the year. ( So far I've thought of.. )