children

[altarflame]

ok, so - i really really want another baby. i know i have a soon to be two year old son, and a three year old daughter. i know i am not even twenty two yet, and we haven't gotten married, and i haven't lost the weight. but i want another baby. i want a sister for annie, i want something to bring me and grant closer together, i want to feel a life in my body and nurse a little newborn again. i've known for awhile that i want 4 kids, and i don't want them to be all far apart and for me to be old by the time they are grown, beings how i started young to begin with.
i suppose my perspective is skewed since i am in a better circumstance now than i was when i got pregnant with either of my other two kids. also, i have a lot of faith, and believe that it would work out.

but still, we are living with his parents. it would derail all sorts of things, like the end of diapers, and a honeymoon. sigh.

i need to quit thinking about this, and get on with my life. go back to learning spanish and writing, actively and often, and keep up with this new burst of functionality and cleaning i've stumbled onto. be happy with my bliss of swimming in the baby pool, reading books to attentive curious faces, and watching tricycles get ridden. i think i'm gonna try to do that. translate the spanish "hotel california" (it's by the gypsy kings and awesome), get back to cracked and the excitement of someone to send the book to. damnitt.
and hopefully grant's business will keep taking off, i'll lose some weight, we'll rake in some money, get married in the fall or winter and move out, and then i can actually choose to get pregnant. and maybe annie can go to preschool after the birth of this theoretical person.

Comments

Children only cause problems

[(Anonymous)]

You should just be happy with the two kids you have now, things only tend to get hectic and crazy when more kids are introduced, there is always the possibility of crazy jealousy on the part of your other children, and that would lead to not so good things (fights and general mean-ness)

Re: Children only cause problems

[altarflame.livejournal.com]

i am fascinated by and set on a big family. i think jealousy happens when parents show favoritism, and/or there isn't enough of them to go around because they are working all the time/divorced and absent/apathetic and preoccupied. when kids are loved and supported and accepted and all that jazz, i don't think they turn into hellions who hate each other (although of course all siblings argue sometimes). i really feel that having a big family for roots is especially proceless once you are an adult.

Re: Children only cause problems

[altarflame.livejournal.com]

one other thing - that subject heading for the comment is pretty horrible. my children haven't caused problems at all, they are the best thing that has ever happened to me, they make me so damn happy. i have more fun playing with, talking to and watching them than i ever did with anyone, and the bond of nursing/watching them sleep/sitting together is totally incomparable. hopefully this poster just hasn't had kids of their own yet.