I don't find it a glaring flaw in general, and totally see the flexibility and pressure advantages, BUT, I definitely think it's the weakest link in my wife-and-motherhood chain. Those pros come in really handy now and then, in a relationship and with the kids - that is why people who are good at consistency but not pressure or flexibility are often acting so amazed by things that I seem to take in stride. But, day to day life can be way too hard in ways that don't even make any sense. I start to really struggle if those seemingly super hard things or out of nowhere things aren't coming often enough.
It is something people find offensive, or irrelevant. And, I spend time wondering how many of those benefits to seek elsewhere, and how. I have a circular loop of thought about how whatever quiet, beauty and repetition I might reproduce in my own way for the sake of itself will not connect me to a thousands-year-old tradition or a chain of millions of believers that encircles the globe, and that those distinctions really do matter. That's followed by a conclusion about how I am inherently connected to people from long ago and people far away by being a human being on this planet searching for meaning and love. EXCEPT, blah blah blah. *shrug* I mean, you know, *I* cannot do the actual religious part for the sake of it's motions, if I'm not believing the truth of it. That was always my big source of stress with churches and with sin as a concept, and...all of it. I've thought about that a lot lately because of the Christmas/Advent season, and how much I just aesthetically enjoy the Christmas story and Christmas Eve mass and all that.
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Date: 2013-12-10 12:58 pm (UTC)It is something people find offensive, or irrelevant. And, I spend time wondering how many of those benefits to seek elsewhere, and how. I have a circular loop of thought about how whatever quiet, beauty and repetition I might reproduce in my own way for the sake of itself will not connect me to a thousands-year-old tradition or a chain of millions of believers that encircles the globe, and that those distinctions really do matter. That's followed by a conclusion about how I am inherently connected to people from long ago and people far away by being a human being on this planet searching for meaning and love. EXCEPT, blah blah blah. *shrug* I mean, you know, *I* cannot do the actual religious part for the sake of it's motions, if I'm not believing the truth of it. That was always my big source of stress with churches and with sin as a concept, and...all of it. I've thought about that a lot lately because of the Christmas/Advent season, and how much I just aesthetically enjoy the Christmas story and Christmas Eve mass and all that.