Date: 2010-08-22 09:14 pm (UTC)
I see what you mean. I don't really think of myself as having an ability to compartmentalize, I just don't know how to let something that may or may not happen in a few weeks occupy all my current, right now minutes...it seems crazy to me. I feel like you do all you can do and you pray and that's sort of the end of your capabilities.

The only thing that has really taken over my waking thoughts and then my dreams that way and screwed up my parenting and just broken me for day to day life, is fear of dying after my last surgery...it was so horrible. I'm sorry you have to deal with that kind of preoccupied anxiety more often - it was so bad for me for just - I don't know? 6-10 months? Something like that. At least in my adult life I've never experienced anything that could cast a pall over everything else that way.

I mean NICU stays too but that's different because someone is actually in the hospital, it's not just fear of a possibility...
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