Traditionally, a lot of crazy stuff going on - good and bad - is my natural state, and just doesn't really feel out of the ordinary, because of how I grew up...and it's when there is no calamity of any sort that I get incredibly restless and worried because it feels off and scary like "What is about to go down?!?!" That has shifted some in recent years as I get deeper into my "own" (adult) life, which is less dysfunctional and more under my control...but I'm sure it still comes into play with my ability to deal with things.
Also, I can always compare our life here and now to my childhood and feel so much better. For instance it's immensely comforting to me that whatever money stress we deal with, the kids aren't even really aware of it - they're always well loved and cared for, never in danger. None of us here are in any sort of trouble with the law, or that involves violence. Grant has a good steady job with benefits and we own a house and two cars in a decent neighborhood, and I have an amazing marriage! *shrug*
I am definitely more stressed than usual - your comment actually took me off guard when I mentioned things like "feeling like I'm going to throw up" and multiple meltdowns in the entry. But I understand what you mean, because I CAN still forget everything long enough to make a big dinner and enjoy it with others, or do the fort crawling or watch a movie or whatever.
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Date: 2010-08-22 02:37 pm (UTC)Also, I can always compare our life here and now to my childhood and feel so much better. For instance it's immensely comforting to me that whatever money stress we deal with, the kids aren't even really aware of it - they're always well loved and cared for, never in danger. None of us here are in any sort of trouble with the law, or that involves violence. Grant has a good steady job with benefits and we own a house and two cars in a decent neighborhood, and I have an amazing marriage! *shrug*
I am definitely more stressed than usual - your comment actually took me off guard when I mentioned things like "feeling like I'm going to throw up" and multiple meltdowns in the entry. But I understand what you mean, because I CAN still forget everything long enough to make a big dinner and enjoy it with others, or do the fort crawling or watch a movie or whatever.