Yeah, I sometimes ache to have Robby move in here too...but the truth is, we are at capacity here.
He was born and his mom's parents basically had him from day one. He would be with Grant Sr when Grant Sr took Grant and I to the movies (so I was 14 and Robby was a young toddler). But Grant Sr and his relationship has totally degenerated as time has passed, and Sr has thrown him out of the house many times for dumb, tiny, normal kid infractions, like not doing his chores or breaking something minor - and he is really a super emotionally unavailable guy in general anyway...very private and distanced with a businesslike facade. He loves Robby and has done a ton for him but Robby doesn't have much to say good about him these days.
My mil is wonderful but a true workaholic with her plate beyond full, and it has always been that way. Her husband is kind of an asshole who has never liked Robby, and has thrown him out of THEIR house on many occasions, as well as cursing at him, even calling him a faggot :/ He's demanded my mil choose between him and Mindy's kids many times over, and my mil has always refused, but she's also allowed him to stay in her life acting that way.
I used to have this massive amount of guilt about Robby when we lived at Grant Sr's because I hated it when he came...he was at that preteen phase, which is really hard for me to deal with in general, but mainly I just felt so incapable of helping him and it was so awkward and horrible to have him coming home from school, doing homework, eating fast food, and WATCHING us, as we sat outside having tea on a blanket or laid around the living room reading together or did crafts at the dining table....efforts to include him were always shaky because Mindy or MIL or someone would be coming to get him or he'd have to go to bed or he didn't like this or that food but he tried calling me mom for awhile? As a "joke"? And there would be times when, say, he would be coming out of Grant Sr's room to leave and look up and see us all sitting around the dinner table together whle I served plates. It's just awful. He has these over the top praises for my mothering and thinks I'm the greatest person ever and I just want to be like, really? Because I feel like I've failed you completely.
Anyway I get along with him great now, we talk on AIM a lot and I invite him over a lot, have offered to tutor him...
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Date: 2010-02-27 09:47 pm (UTC)He was born and his mom's parents basically had him from day one. He would be with Grant Sr when Grant Sr took Grant and I to the movies (so I was 14 and Robby was a young toddler). But Grant Sr and his relationship has totally degenerated as time has passed, and Sr has thrown him out of the house many times for dumb, tiny, normal kid infractions, like not doing his chores or breaking something minor - and he is really a super emotionally unavailable guy in general anyway...very private and distanced with a businesslike facade. He loves Robby and has done a ton for him but Robby doesn't have much to say good about him these days.
My mil is wonderful but a true workaholic with her plate beyond full, and it has always been that way. Her husband is kind of an asshole who has never liked Robby, and has thrown him out of THEIR house on many occasions, as well as cursing at him, even calling him a faggot :/ He's demanded my mil choose between him and Mindy's kids many times over, and my mil has always refused, but she's also allowed him to stay in her life acting that way.
I used to have this massive amount of guilt about Robby when we lived at Grant Sr's because I hated it when he came...he was at that preteen phase, which is really hard for me to deal with in general, but mainly I just felt so incapable of helping him and it was so awkward and horrible to have him coming home from school, doing homework, eating fast food, and WATCHING us, as we sat outside having tea on a blanket or laid around the living room reading together or did crafts at the dining table....efforts to include him were always shaky because Mindy or MIL or someone would be coming to get him or he'd have to go to bed or he didn't like this or that food but he tried calling me mom for awhile? As a "joke"? And there would be times when, say, he would be coming out of Grant Sr's room to leave and look up and see us all sitting around the dinner table together whle I served plates. It's just awful. He has these over the top praises for my mothering and thinks I'm the greatest person ever and I just want to be like, really? Because I feel like I've failed you completely.
Anyway I get along with him great now, we talk on AIM a lot and I invite him over a lot, have offered to tutor him...
I don't know. I really don't.