I should also maybe add that I am a big believer that our genetics and innate temperament have an influence on how we turn out that's probably far more important than most environmental factors, and that they along with our own decisions eventually tend to prevail over all kinds of trauma and adverse circumstances. I have scientific and observational/personal-experience-based reasons for believing this, but I have to say it also helps me a lot to accept that no parent or early environment is 100% perfect, and that there will always be factors in my child(ren)'s lives that are out of my control. As in, not to beat myself up for occasionally consuming sugar and caffeine or being stressed while pregnant. :-) Because I have a perfectionist streak, and was a guilt-driven person even before getting pregnant, and the other way (believing that children's early environment is hugely, irrevocably determinative)--that way lies madness, for me.
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Date: 2009-08-11 03:23 am (UTC)