I don't really get winded from exertion...it's hard to explain. I take a walk with the double stroller every day, usually a 30 minute to an hour brisk walk, and it doesn't wind me...I'm up and down all day long, cleaning and chasing and cooking and this and that...it's these weird times when I'm sitting totally still, but can't breathe, that are bothering me. I'll just be standing there talking to Grant or sitting down reading a book to Jake and all of a sudden it's like, whoa, what the hell, where did my lung capacity go? I am not panting or trying to catch my breath, it's like I can't draw a deep enough breath to satisfy myself. I sit there calmly concentrating, wondering why I have to make an effort to pull air ALL THE WAY DOWN or else my breathing is so shallow that it's, like...ineffective or something. I don't know how to explain it, I guess.
Bright lights and loud noises don't bother me at all, I mean beyond the obvious I don't like sun glaring in my eyes as I drive or prolonged kid screaming in my ear.
I could very well have an early stage thing, and will probably ask about that when I go - the sleep stuff is certainly dead on...I think I am just also sort of cynical about any sort of self or e-diagnosis at this point because last year commenters and google had me, like, 100% SURE I was having thyroid problems...when really I was suffering from "sponge" and dying of sepsis. My full blood panel last Fall came back with totally normal levels for the thyroid hormones I've since forgotten the names of - although, of course, while that was after Elise and in the midst of my near death bs, it was still before, oh...
-ICU stay -major surgery again -repeated terror of relapse -cat being killed by dog pack -mother having serious meningitis in hospital -mother having small stroke -being diagnosed with ptsd and starting therapy -Isaac's appendicitis -mother moving in with me
ETFUCKINGCETERA.
*shrug*
I will try to get it all checked out. I like my female, open minded, very well researched doctor so hopefully we'll root something out.
In general throughout the day I don't feel especially stressed. I have so much help with the kids these days that sometimes I feel like I've done almost nothing with them but drive people around. I laugh a lot, and have plenty of sex drive, and a huge appetite. But the stress I do feel can be really extreme, i.e., when I am trying to fall asleep at night and thinking in graphic detail about the reparative surgery I'll need to have one day.
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Date: 2008-09-16 02:36 pm (UTC)Bright lights and loud noises don't bother me at all, I mean beyond the obvious I don't like sun glaring in my eyes as I drive or prolonged kid screaming in my ear.
I could very well have an early stage thing, and will probably ask about that when I go - the sleep stuff is certainly dead on...I think I am just also sort of cynical about any sort of self or e-diagnosis at this point because last year commenters and google had me, like, 100% SURE I was having thyroid problems...when really I was suffering from "sponge" and dying of sepsis. My full blood panel last Fall came back with totally normal levels for the thyroid hormones I've since forgotten the names of - although, of course, while that was after Elise and in the midst of my near death bs, it was still before, oh...
-ICU stay
-major surgery again
-repeated terror of relapse
-cat being killed by dog pack
-mother having serious meningitis in hospital
-mother having small stroke
-being diagnosed with ptsd and starting therapy
-Isaac's appendicitis
-mother moving in with me
ETFUCKINGCETERA.
*shrug*
I will try to get it all checked out. I like my female, open minded, very well researched doctor so hopefully we'll root something out.
In general throughout the day I don't feel especially stressed. I have so much help with the kids these days that sometimes I feel like I've done almost nothing with them but drive people around. I laugh a lot, and have plenty of sex drive, and a huge appetite. But the stress I do feel can be really extreme, i.e., when I am trying to fall asleep at night and thinking in graphic detail about the reparative surgery I'll need to have one day.