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Apr. 8th, 2015 02:38 amToday - well, technically yesterday, now - is(/was) my sister's 30th birthday. I took her a bottle of pink champagne and some roses, with cards from her nieces and nephews.
HER birthday means it's halfway around to my birthday again. Which means I'll be 34 in 6 months. I said this to Grant, and he was kind of startled - he's two weeks older than me. Neither of us have even considered 34, previous to this evening.
This is the thing, though - turning 30 was fine with me. It didn't bother me at all. It was kind of cool in a way. BUT THEN it's been a rapid fire avalanche of birthdays coming fast and furious ever since - 31-32-33 and now, apparently, 34. I really feel like I'm having quarterly birthdays. I also think 34 means "mid-30s." It's somewhat alarming. Clearly, I had to warn my sister that she's about to enter a time warp.
I have a few people I look to as examples of aging (aka, living) properly. Nancy and our pediatrician are prime examples - they're senior citizens professionally active in work they're passionate about, rocking distinctive style, mentally sharp as ever, travelling both for work and pleasure frequently, with big circles of people they love. But there are also really amazing people 5 years older than me who seem super young in my eyes. Like my friend Kristin - and Amanda Palmer, and John Green.
This is a convenient segue into an unfinished entry from a couple of days ago:
In less than a month, my youngest child will be 8. I'm not really talking at the moment about Elise being 8 being weird specifically - honestly, she seems old for her age to me lately and that part makes sense. But... it's a weird concept, to have five kids, and have the youngest one be 8. In a "phases of life," "stages of our family" sort of way.
Exactly one month after that, as I am reminded quite frequently, Ananda will be able to get her restricted driver's license. It's definitely something she wants to do ON her birthday (she's had the book for months). My thoughts about that have generally centered around excitement for her, logistics with lessons, and reminiscing about that part of my own life. With little bursts of fear, for her safety. It occurred to me today, though, that it's going to be the beginning of a huge "kids learning to drive" phase, for our family. One year later, she'll be getting her real license as Aaron turns 15 and can get his restricted, Isaac is coming up not too far behind, etc. We're about to embark on another often stressful, sometimes awesome thing we go through with them all one by one (and often overlapping two at a time), like pregnancy and nursing, or co-sleeping and diapers. But this one is about test taking, making decisions about using our cars and how much we're willing to assist with getting their own, and watching our insurance bill gradually skyrocket.
Tangent: When I think about the five of them as a group all starting to drive over a period of years it really terrifies me because the likelihood of SOMEONE getting in a semi-serious accident just seems too high. I am really paranoid about other people driving in general, though. Almost everyone close to me has been driving when their car or the other car was totaled, in the last decade. I drive fast (though not as fast as I used to... I haven't gotten a speeding ticket in about 4 years now), but there are certain things I just never do. Like even approach tailgating distance behind other cars, get angry at what other people are doing and show it, pull out without 100% visibility even when I've been waiting for awhile, change lanes without a blinker and checking my blind spot, get in the car if I've had even a single drink (and I do the annoying math and will wait 3 hours if I had 3 drinks), even put it in gear if everyone isn't wearing their seatbelt, blah blah blah. I'm sure the internet at large is apathetic to my worrying since I take pictures while driving on long uncrowded straightaways, and eat in the car and stuff like that, but whatever. I've been logging a lot of hours on crazy ass Florida highways every week for over 17 years now, without having any moving collisions. EVERYONE else I know has been in AT LEAST one major crash :/ When I think of Aaron's distractibility or Isaac's anxiety applied to driving in Miami it's...really not ok. I imagine a Christmas where I excitedly unveil BUS PASSES FOR EVERYONE!!! as though they're the greatest thing ever. /tangent
Our Easter was half-heartedly thrown together at the last minute, and turned out surprisingly well.
Today, my main accomplishments were finishing a massive "homeschool closet" clean-out I started yesterday, and getting Laura's gifts together and delivered.
I think I'm in a transitional stage on a lot of levels. It's draining, but I'm trying to just let it happen, and remember that growth doesn't happen without pain and other such absolute horseshit (that I truly believe).
HER birthday means it's halfway around to my birthday again. Which means I'll be 34 in 6 months. I said this to Grant, and he was kind of startled - he's two weeks older than me. Neither of us have even considered 34, previous to this evening.
This is the thing, though - turning 30 was fine with me. It didn't bother me at all. It was kind of cool in a way. BUT THEN it's been a rapid fire avalanche of birthdays coming fast and furious ever since - 31-32-33 and now, apparently, 34. I really feel like I'm having quarterly birthdays. I also think 34 means "mid-30s." It's somewhat alarming. Clearly, I had to warn my sister that she's about to enter a time warp.
I have a few people I look to as examples of aging (aka, living) properly. Nancy and our pediatrician are prime examples - they're senior citizens professionally active in work they're passionate about, rocking distinctive style, mentally sharp as ever, travelling both for work and pleasure frequently, with big circles of people they love. But there are also really amazing people 5 years older than me who seem super young in my eyes. Like my friend Kristin - and Amanda Palmer, and John Green.
This is a convenient segue into an unfinished entry from a couple of days ago:
In less than a month, my youngest child will be 8. I'm not really talking at the moment about Elise being 8 being weird specifically - honestly, she seems old for her age to me lately and that part makes sense. But... it's a weird concept, to have five kids, and have the youngest one be 8. In a "phases of life," "stages of our family" sort of way.
Exactly one month after that, as I am reminded quite frequently, Ananda will be able to get her restricted driver's license. It's definitely something she wants to do ON her birthday (she's had the book for months). My thoughts about that have generally centered around excitement for her, logistics with lessons, and reminiscing about that part of my own life. With little bursts of fear, for her safety. It occurred to me today, though, that it's going to be the beginning of a huge "kids learning to drive" phase, for our family. One year later, she'll be getting her real license as Aaron turns 15 and can get his restricted, Isaac is coming up not too far behind, etc. We're about to embark on another often stressful, sometimes awesome thing we go through with them all one by one (and often overlapping two at a time), like pregnancy and nursing, or co-sleeping and diapers. But this one is about test taking, making decisions about using our cars and how much we're willing to assist with getting their own, and watching our insurance bill gradually skyrocket.
Tangent: When I think about the five of them as a group all starting to drive over a period of years it really terrifies me because the likelihood of SOMEONE getting in a semi-serious accident just seems too high. I am really paranoid about other people driving in general, though. Almost everyone close to me has been driving when their car or the other car was totaled, in the last decade. I drive fast (though not as fast as I used to... I haven't gotten a speeding ticket in about 4 years now), but there are certain things I just never do. Like even approach tailgating distance behind other cars, get angry at what other people are doing and show it, pull out without 100% visibility even when I've been waiting for awhile, change lanes without a blinker and checking my blind spot, get in the car if I've had even a single drink (and I do the annoying math and will wait 3 hours if I had 3 drinks), even put it in gear if everyone isn't wearing their seatbelt, blah blah blah. I'm sure the internet at large is apathetic to my worrying since I take pictures while driving on long uncrowded straightaways, and eat in the car and stuff like that, but whatever. I've been logging a lot of hours on crazy ass Florida highways every week for over 17 years now, without having any moving collisions. EVERYONE else I know has been in AT LEAST one major crash :/ When I think of Aaron's distractibility or Isaac's anxiety applied to driving in Miami it's...really not ok. I imagine a Christmas where I excitedly unveil BUS PASSES FOR EVERYONE!!! as though they're the greatest thing ever. /tangent
Our Easter was half-heartedly thrown together at the last minute, and turned out surprisingly well.
Today, my main accomplishments were finishing a massive "homeschool closet" clean-out I started yesterday, and getting Laura's gifts together and delivered.
I think I'm in a transitional stage on a lot of levels. It's draining, but I'm trying to just let it happen, and remember that growth doesn't happen without pain and other such absolute horseshit (that I truly believe).
