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Sep. 10th, 2014 09:37 pmThis fall has been monumentally harder, so far, than I ever expected. I've been really struggling with it. Having my kids in school is about a million times more work than homeschooling them ever was - from the very early wake up times and the intense efforts to NOT have to rush people in the morning, to the struggle to have the five of them at 2 schools in time to travel north and make it to my own classes on time, and on to the afternoons being insane - we're often not home until between 4 and 5, between picking them all up (at variable release times, no less!), meeting with teachers, getting stuck in surprise traffic on the way home, having any errands to run, groceries to buy, and so forth. Getting home is getting all five uniforms in the washer and lunchboxes emptied and starting homework - and Elise, who is still undergoing evaluations and has some kind(s) of learning disability, needs constant help to do any of hers and takes hours to complete it each night. It's extremely tedious (though I'm grateful she has a very good attitude about it) and at the most hectic time of the day - previously, working with her like that could be done with no time frame, when nothing else was going on, midmorning or early afternoon.
The kids are super grumpy if they're not in bed by a time so early it's almost impossible, I'm still trying to read to everyone before bed, and at least one adult has to be near Isaac's room as he falls asleep or he just can't fall asleep. Annie has derby half an hour up the road one evening per week. I have to get a shot every week (and my doctor's office burned down so I have to go to urgent care or something and fill out forms and wait a long time).
As for my classes, French is challenging but doable, Psychology of Parenting is the easiest class in the world, Stats II is pretty hard, and Botany is fucking impossible. I'm the only non biology major in the very small class and I routinely have NO IDEA what anyone is talking about.
I'm still in counseling. I'm still on Weight Watchers.
I wonder constantly how people with fulltime jobs do this, and how single moms do this. I'm doing ok grade-wise - so far - but know I have to start carving out a lot more time for my own studying asap.
The good part is that my kids all love school and have teachers that range from decent to amazing. Everyone came home on the first day thrilled and wanting to tell me endless stories. Grant had taken that day off, and my classes hadn't started yet, and we had a good day together but also felt nervous for them and wondered how it was going. It was really the best I could have possibly hoped for at pickup, which was awesome.
Theeeeen Grant got sent to Missouri for work, my classes started, their work loads amped up, and cue the O_O Huge adjustment phases for everyone, Isaac's anxiety through the roof and causing mega issues, Elise a weepy mess whenever tired, and communication ranging from signing forms sent home to phone calls/emails/meetings with NINETEEN teachers, of theirs. Because my kids have a combined 19 teachers, not counting things like art and PE or their extracurriculars.
The meetings with Elise's, during the first three weeks, which often featured descriptions of her history and brainstorming for how to help, generally led to me bursting into tears once I was back in the car alone.
All that is to say that what I didn't need this week, was a whole bunch more extra stress. BUT that's how it's been. Starting last Friday, everyone (including me) has, in a gradual overlapping way, been very sick with bronchitis and sinusitis. I can't miss my classes; some of them can't go to school. Nobody can sleep. We had to go to the doctor, and the pharmacy, and have been picking up missed work for people who are still out, (while still doing drop offs, pick ups and homework with the others, while completely out of it ourselves) and it's just awful - since I started this entry I've had two coughing fits and pretty much sniffled continuously. My head is pounding. Walking around a botanical garden sweating while dizzy, trying to look at leaves under a magnifying glass and take notes, is a crappy way to spend a morning.
Tonight was open house at the little kids' school. Grant and I went, doing our best to fan out over all relevant classes.
Our car had a part go bad. Luckily it's covered under warranty and is driveable until that replacement arrives, it's just multiple shop and dealership visits and the general stress of knowing it could potentially leave us stranded.
I am TREMENDOUSLY grateful, CONSTANTLY, for Grant and also for his job flexibility. He's been able to work from home and take time off, to help, and also does things like make multiple big pots of from-scratch chicken soup, and endless cups of tea with honey, and change out Isaac's bowl 75 times when he coughs until he throws up :/ Poor Isaac always gets hit the hardest with anything respiratory.
G and I are pretty damned good at double teaming things.
I keep thinking of this little parable I heard a long time ago, and don't remember all the details of. The gist: A family is living in a one room hut with a dirt floor and a single bed for them all. They're really stressed out. One of the adults goes to the village wise man and asks for help and/or advice dealing with their situation. He tells them, get a cow and put it in your hut. They did, and a week later were back complaining to the wise man that now the place stank terribly and they sometimes had to turn sideways to get around the cow in their tiny house. He said perfect, now take in two chickens. They did it, and the following week were back to say there were poop and feathers EVERYWHERE, the chickens never stopped making noise, they got on every surface, between that and the cow they were ready to give up on life. The guy recommended bringing in a goat, who of course commenced eating and headbutting everything and flipping out from the confined space.
After this three weeks of hell were done, when they appeared exhausted and miserable before the village wise man, he was like, "there you go - get the animals out now. That's it! You'll love your little one room mud hut with the shared bed now that it's just you guys :D All your problems are solved."
Anyway, I think this is a great allegory for many things in life, and I strongly hope that once we're all healthy again, everything else about our new lifestyle will seem way more doable. For instance, helping Elise with her tedious homework for long periods was far simpler when I could talk, and my eyes weren't burning.
Really though, I'm actually sort of excited for a trial run of "all this, but healthy!" now.
The kids are super grumpy if they're not in bed by a time so early it's almost impossible, I'm still trying to read to everyone before bed, and at least one adult has to be near Isaac's room as he falls asleep or he just can't fall asleep. Annie has derby half an hour up the road one evening per week. I have to get a shot every week (and my doctor's office burned down so I have to go to urgent care or something and fill out forms and wait a long time).
As for my classes, French is challenging but doable, Psychology of Parenting is the easiest class in the world, Stats II is pretty hard, and Botany is fucking impossible. I'm the only non biology major in the very small class and I routinely have NO IDEA what anyone is talking about.
I'm still in counseling. I'm still on Weight Watchers.
I wonder constantly how people with fulltime jobs do this, and how single moms do this. I'm doing ok grade-wise - so far - but know I have to start carving out a lot more time for my own studying asap.
The good part is that my kids all love school and have teachers that range from decent to amazing. Everyone came home on the first day thrilled and wanting to tell me endless stories. Grant had taken that day off, and my classes hadn't started yet, and we had a good day together but also felt nervous for them and wondered how it was going. It was really the best I could have possibly hoped for at pickup, which was awesome.
Theeeeen Grant got sent to Missouri for work, my classes started, their work loads amped up, and cue the O_O Huge adjustment phases for everyone, Isaac's anxiety through the roof and causing mega issues, Elise a weepy mess whenever tired, and communication ranging from signing forms sent home to phone calls/emails/meetings with NINETEEN teachers, of theirs. Because my kids have a combined 19 teachers, not counting things like art and PE or their extracurriculars.
The meetings with Elise's, during the first three weeks, which often featured descriptions of her history and brainstorming for how to help, generally led to me bursting into tears once I was back in the car alone.
All that is to say that what I didn't need this week, was a whole bunch more extra stress. BUT that's how it's been. Starting last Friday, everyone (including me) has, in a gradual overlapping way, been very sick with bronchitis and sinusitis. I can't miss my classes; some of them can't go to school. Nobody can sleep. We had to go to the doctor, and the pharmacy, and have been picking up missed work for people who are still out, (while still doing drop offs, pick ups and homework with the others, while completely out of it ourselves) and it's just awful - since I started this entry I've had two coughing fits and pretty much sniffled continuously. My head is pounding. Walking around a botanical garden sweating while dizzy, trying to look at leaves under a magnifying glass and take notes, is a crappy way to spend a morning.
Tonight was open house at the little kids' school. Grant and I went, doing our best to fan out over all relevant classes.
Our car had a part go bad. Luckily it's covered under warranty and is driveable until that replacement arrives, it's just multiple shop and dealership visits and the general stress of knowing it could potentially leave us stranded.
I am TREMENDOUSLY grateful, CONSTANTLY, for Grant and also for his job flexibility. He's been able to work from home and take time off, to help, and also does things like make multiple big pots of from-scratch chicken soup, and endless cups of tea with honey, and change out Isaac's bowl 75 times when he coughs until he throws up :/ Poor Isaac always gets hit the hardest with anything respiratory.
G and I are pretty damned good at double teaming things.
I keep thinking of this little parable I heard a long time ago, and don't remember all the details of. The gist: A family is living in a one room hut with a dirt floor and a single bed for them all. They're really stressed out. One of the adults goes to the village wise man and asks for help and/or advice dealing with their situation. He tells them, get a cow and put it in your hut. They did, and a week later were back complaining to the wise man that now the place stank terribly and they sometimes had to turn sideways to get around the cow in their tiny house. He said perfect, now take in two chickens. They did it, and the following week were back to say there were poop and feathers EVERYWHERE, the chickens never stopped making noise, they got on every surface, between that and the cow they were ready to give up on life. The guy recommended bringing in a goat, who of course commenced eating and headbutting everything and flipping out from the confined space.
After this three weeks of hell were done, when they appeared exhausted and miserable before the village wise man, he was like, "there you go - get the animals out now. That's it! You'll love your little one room mud hut with the shared bed now that it's just you guys :D All your problems are solved."
Anyway, I think this is a great allegory for many things in life, and I strongly hope that once we're all healthy again, everything else about our new lifestyle will seem way more doable. For instance, helping Elise with her tedious homework for long periods was far simpler when I could talk, and my eyes weren't burning.
Really though, I'm actually sort of excited for a trial run of "all this, but healthy!" now.
