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Aug. 1st, 2012 07:21 pmSometimes, I think the biggest factor in whether or not people support gay rights is whether or not they actually know gay people.
I can imagine seeing a list of ways a certain organization infringes on rights, for instance, and kind of skimming by things like, "they want to make adoption by gay people illegal," and thinking something fleeting - "oh that sucks, in a complicated way...". But because I know real gay families, for some of whom adoption is relevant, that bring food to my potlucks and meet me for coffee, I think something more along the lines of (stomach clench) "They want to take Josie away from Dana and Monica?!"
I can't help but wonder whether many people who think gay rights is just a "fad issue" or a "distraction," from real politics just live very insulated lives where it seems that way because it's all just something they hear about on tv. When a new protective or inclusive law gets passed, though, I see people I care about crying with happiness, my facebook wall blows up with joy, it's a REAL tangible THING that will impact quality of life around me.
I wonder how many people could really know and like someone around their age, in their profession or field of interest, who shares a hobby with them, and is in love, and could look that friend or colleague or neighbor in the eye, and say, "I don't believe you have the right to even a secular marriage that has nothing to do with my faith. I'm so worried that the law changing in that way could influence people in my faith in ways I don't agree with, or tempt them away from my faith altogether, that I think it should just be illegal for everyone regardless of what they believe. I'm sorry, but you guys can just live together - it's sin either way anyway. If you can't visit him in the hospital when he's sick, or he can't sign off for your kids to get medical treatment, or the two of you have to jump through some legal hoops to leave each other property, that's not really my problem. Your desire to commit publicly or enter into a wedding together is not as big to me as my paradigm is."
I'm guessing a lot of people who can vote anonymously would opt out of that actual person to person confrontation.
Having been born in Key West, and having spent most of the rest of my life in the greater Miami area, though, I've known long-term committed gay couples my entire life. They're people like the owners of the company my grandmother worked for, for 30 years, and the guys at my Dad's barbecues, and the women who come to Nancy's birth trauma support groups with me, when Nancy's in town. "Gay people" are our former-nanny-turned-good-family-friend, and my teenage nephew who's repeatedly tried to kill himself. And so I can't help but think about this stuff a whole freakin' lot, and be just...truly...AGHAST, by the opinions people put out there, sometimes.
As though we are not talking about human beings, who are just like you and I.
Things I managed to accomplish today:
(our fridge/freezer is turned off and defrosting in the hopes it will then work again)
-went to the grocery store
-Got Isaac, Jake and Elise up, dressed, brushed, fed, and to camp with packed lunches
-managed through a series of calls and emails to figure out the math chair is out of town for the week, speak to an alternate, and ascertain that my statistics grade was filed as an F because my ungraded final is still sitting in my teachers' mailbox from last week...someone is on the case
-some e-search on this fridge problem for our model
-went to the college website and to my local campus, and managed to sell my psych book back to the bookstore and work out my financial aid for the coming semester
-took Ananda and Aaron out for lunch (Publix subs)
-phone call with my publisher
-brief email to a literary PR lead-friend
-actual contact with my illustrator who has been a post-breakup wreck
-picked up Isaac, Jake and Elise from camp
-went over, flipped out about, and digested their insane school supply lists that came in the mail today
I'll be reading to Elise, who I just nursed and talked with for a few minutes, soon....she's sitting here with her book waiting and sounds like she might be getting sick. But my point in this list was that I FEEL as though I've accomplished NOTHING and this list was to somewhat comfort me that I haven't just completely wasted the entire day. Because I spent an awfully huge proportion of this day on facebook and tumblr - you know, when I wasn't refreshing my email or playing Tetris or, uh, thinking I should do something*. My house is a mess, it's 7 and I have no dinner plan, nobody did any schoolwork of any sort - for the most part kids sat in front of some screen or other anytime there were home, which is a little too common as of late. Grant will be home far too soon before he has to go to bed, and gone before I wake up, which is pretty common lately on most weekdays. I need a shower.
Sigh.
I did talk to my sister and to Kristin, on the phone, and Grant and I do have a show lined up for that brief window of availability. Off to read and to find dinner...
*I'm suffering a wave of paralyzing terror because I read some awful shit about obese women dying during hernia repairs and tummy tucks, yesterday, and am really not at all sure I can lose weight before mine, and...ugh. Same old, same old, right? I'm trying not to let it drag me down too much.
I can imagine seeing a list of ways a certain organization infringes on rights, for instance, and kind of skimming by things like, "they want to make adoption by gay people illegal," and thinking something fleeting - "oh that sucks, in a complicated way...". But because I know real gay families, for some of whom adoption is relevant, that bring food to my potlucks and meet me for coffee, I think something more along the lines of (stomach clench) "They want to take Josie away from Dana and Monica?!"
I can't help but wonder whether many people who think gay rights is just a "fad issue" or a "distraction," from real politics just live very insulated lives where it seems that way because it's all just something they hear about on tv. When a new protective or inclusive law gets passed, though, I see people I care about crying with happiness, my facebook wall blows up with joy, it's a REAL tangible THING that will impact quality of life around me.
I wonder how many people could really know and like someone around their age, in their profession or field of interest, who shares a hobby with them, and is in love, and could look that friend or colleague or neighbor in the eye, and say, "I don't believe you have the right to even a secular marriage that has nothing to do with my faith. I'm so worried that the law changing in that way could influence people in my faith in ways I don't agree with, or tempt them away from my faith altogether, that I think it should just be illegal for everyone regardless of what they believe. I'm sorry, but you guys can just live together - it's sin either way anyway. If you can't visit him in the hospital when he's sick, or he can't sign off for your kids to get medical treatment, or the two of you have to jump through some legal hoops to leave each other property, that's not really my problem. Your desire to commit publicly or enter into a wedding together is not as big to me as my paradigm is."
I'm guessing a lot of people who can vote anonymously would opt out of that actual person to person confrontation.
Having been born in Key West, and having spent most of the rest of my life in the greater Miami area, though, I've known long-term committed gay couples my entire life. They're people like the owners of the company my grandmother worked for, for 30 years, and the guys at my Dad's barbecues, and the women who come to Nancy's birth trauma support groups with me, when Nancy's in town. "Gay people" are our former-nanny-turned-good-family-friend, and my teenage nephew who's repeatedly tried to kill himself. And so I can't help but think about this stuff a whole freakin' lot, and be just...truly...AGHAST, by the opinions people put out there, sometimes.
As though we are not talking about human beings, who are just like you and I.
Things I managed to accomplish today:
(our fridge/freezer is turned off and defrosting in the hopes it will then work again)
-went to the grocery store
-Got Isaac, Jake and Elise up, dressed, brushed, fed, and to camp with packed lunches
-managed through a series of calls and emails to figure out the math chair is out of town for the week, speak to an alternate, and ascertain that my statistics grade was filed as an F because my ungraded final is still sitting in my teachers' mailbox from last week...someone is on the case
-some e-search on this fridge problem for our model
-went to the college website and to my local campus, and managed to sell my psych book back to the bookstore and work out my financial aid for the coming semester
-took Ananda and Aaron out for lunch (Publix subs)
-phone call with my publisher
-brief email to a literary PR lead-friend
-actual contact with my illustrator who has been a post-breakup wreck
-picked up Isaac, Jake and Elise from camp
-went over, flipped out about, and digested their insane school supply lists that came in the mail today
I'll be reading to Elise, who I just nursed and talked with for a few minutes, soon....she's sitting here with her book waiting and sounds like she might be getting sick. But my point in this list was that I FEEL as though I've accomplished NOTHING and this list was to somewhat comfort me that I haven't just completely wasted the entire day. Because I spent an awfully huge proportion of this day on facebook and tumblr - you know, when I wasn't refreshing my email or playing Tetris or, uh, thinking I should do something*. My house is a mess, it's 7 and I have no dinner plan, nobody did any schoolwork of any sort - for the most part kids sat in front of some screen or other anytime there were home, which is a little too common as of late. Grant will be home far too soon before he has to go to bed, and gone before I wake up, which is pretty common lately on most weekdays. I need a shower.
Sigh.
I did talk to my sister and to Kristin, on the phone, and Grant and I do have a show lined up for that brief window of availability. Off to read and to find dinner...
*I'm suffering a wave of paralyzing terror because I read some awful shit about obese women dying during hernia repairs and tummy tucks, yesterday, and am really not at all sure I can lose weight before mine, and...ugh. Same old, same old, right? I'm trying not to let it drag me down too much.
