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Bacon Sandwich
Apr. 9th, 2012 03:15 pmSo, for whatever reason, Aaron has always had this radar for us having sex. None of my other kids have ever seemed to pick up on it - Ananda is one to just turn a blind eye to it whenever anything she doesn't like is going on and just pretend it doesn't exist, so maybe she just doesn't bring it up?
A whole lot of years ago we were camping (I think we only had three kids, so A and A would have been 5 and 6 at most) and they had all been asleep for awhile, and Grant and I got into something REALLY hush-hush and subtle and Aaron pipes up at full volume, "Dad why is Mom making those weird noises?"
I will admit I am not really one to gauge my own volume. I tend to be kind of shocked by how loud I'm told I am afterward. This was truly practically nothing though, like breathing patterns. Mortifying.
Flash forward to when we first moved into this house, so I guess he would have been about 7-8. Our bedroom flooring wasn't done and so we were using the tv room to sleep in, on an air mattress next to the couch. Our tv room is a very defined separate room far from the kids' bedrooms, and has pocket doors that were closed most of the way so we'd hear if someone started screaming or something (Elise was still really little). It was dark.
Grant and I were completely done and laying there half asleep when, again at full conversational dinner table volume, we hear Aaron go "Hey Mom, what do you think about -?" I don't even remember what he was asking, but we jumped halfway to standing, it was ridiculous. He was just sitting there on the couch like it was the most normal thing in the world. I have NO IDEA to this day how long he was there for, Grant just kind of leapt up to help him out with whatever he needed while I tried not to die laughing and then we wondered if we should be worried or something.
Sidetrack: We got home from somewhere as a family not long ago to drop the kids off so they could watch a movie while we went to the grocery store. We all got out of the van and went in, Grant turned it on, there was the normal people running to bathrooms and getting a drink of water that happens as we arrive. G and I got back in the van and went like 3 blocks and then Aaron says from the third row, "Where are we going?" in total confusion.
I do not understand that kid's level of obliviousness. I stopped and made him walk home (with a call to Annie to tell me as soon as he got there). It's an ongoing battle with us for him to GET OUT OF THE VAN when we get home because for some reason he always wants to like, lay down and go to sleep or something once everyone else is out. Three times a week we realize house and car are locked, everyone else is settled, and Aaron is still in the van. Sheesh.
Anyway, what inspired this entry is that I am totally unable to ascertain how soundproof our bedroom is or is not at a given time, or who it's bothering (Hint: It's Aaron). We have a set up where you walk through a part of the master bath to get to the bedroom, which is great because we can close two doors in between our room and the hallway, with space in between. We also frequently have a fan going and/or pandora turned on if not up, or if we're in the bath water going and music turned up. We try to station them on the complete other end of our very long and not acoustic house, like with an activity or lunch or a movie to go to sleep to or something, before we shut the doors.
But he keeps absolutely killing me with these kinds of "Mom it seemed like you were saying Oh a bunch of times in there last night" or "How come whenever you and Dad take a bath, you're like, screaming" questions *headdesk* I'm not sure if he's just enjoying having me along/playing innocent - because they KNOW about sex - or if he is really confused about what's going on - which is possible because, as previously stated, Aaron is really oblivious. G and I still joke in private all the time about how he referenced us "doing the thingy" in horror when I told him I was going to the doctor to get an IUD.
I heard my parents having sex at his age and fully understood it as sex and just didn't care. It wasn't an event in any way, it was like how I could hear my sister playing or a dog barking next door. I mean they were in their room with the door shut, it wasn't like paraded throughout the house or something, and I guess I am a little more, uh. Vocal, than my mother? Bleh, eww, the thought of parental sex still makes me wanna puke :p My good friend Kathy told me her parents had like an 8 hour block of time every Sunday that was Do Not Disturb hours where they kept their bedroom door locked and she thought it was adorable, even in high school.
I guess I'm gonna have to have some kind of Conversation with him and quit dodging, because there is no way to guarantee he's sleeping all the time, Grant generally has to go to sleep before any of the rest of us, and I'm not going to quit having sex until they're all out of the house. For all of you who are going to ask, no I can't really enjoy it silently - I've already got a pillow over my face most of the time :p
My hesitation is just that I think it's awkward and weird to be going through puberty and aware of people getting it on audibly close by - I have very distinct memories of being on the phone with someone who was totally disgusted that he could hear his parents and was yelling "Oh my God SHUT UP!" and throwing sneakers across the hall at their bedroom door from his bunk in disgust. I don't want to get into that kind of thing, or be like AWARE that they're aware as shit's going down. Ugh.
Geez man sometimes balancing "myself" and "myself as a mom" is a lot of bs. I like the idea of them understanding sex is pleasurable and part of a healthy relationship and knowing their mom and dad love each other, but it's still bs :p
A whole lot of years ago we were camping (I think we only had three kids, so A and A would have been 5 and 6 at most) and they had all been asleep for awhile, and Grant and I got into something REALLY hush-hush and subtle and Aaron pipes up at full volume, "Dad why is Mom making those weird noises?"
I will admit I am not really one to gauge my own volume. I tend to be kind of shocked by how loud I'm told I am afterward. This was truly practically nothing though, like breathing patterns. Mortifying.
Flash forward to when we first moved into this house, so I guess he would have been about 7-8. Our bedroom flooring wasn't done and so we were using the tv room to sleep in, on an air mattress next to the couch. Our tv room is a very defined separate room far from the kids' bedrooms, and has pocket doors that were closed most of the way so we'd hear if someone started screaming or something (Elise was still really little). It was dark.
Grant and I were completely done and laying there half asleep when, again at full conversational dinner table volume, we hear Aaron go "Hey Mom, what do you think about -?" I don't even remember what he was asking, but we jumped halfway to standing, it was ridiculous. He was just sitting there on the couch like it was the most normal thing in the world. I have NO IDEA to this day how long he was there for, Grant just kind of leapt up to help him out with whatever he needed while I tried not to die laughing and then we wondered if we should be worried or something.
Sidetrack: We got home from somewhere as a family not long ago to drop the kids off so they could watch a movie while we went to the grocery store. We all got out of the van and went in, Grant turned it on, there was the normal people running to bathrooms and getting a drink of water that happens as we arrive. G and I got back in the van and went like 3 blocks and then Aaron says from the third row, "Where are we going?" in total confusion.
I do not understand that kid's level of obliviousness. I stopped and made him walk home (with a call to Annie to tell me as soon as he got there). It's an ongoing battle with us for him to GET OUT OF THE VAN when we get home because for some reason he always wants to like, lay down and go to sleep or something once everyone else is out. Three times a week we realize house and car are locked, everyone else is settled, and Aaron is still in the van. Sheesh.
Anyway, what inspired this entry is that I am totally unable to ascertain how soundproof our bedroom is or is not at a given time, or who it's bothering (Hint: It's Aaron). We have a set up where you walk through a part of the master bath to get to the bedroom, which is great because we can close two doors in between our room and the hallway, with space in between. We also frequently have a fan going and/or pandora turned on if not up, or if we're in the bath water going and music turned up. We try to station them on the complete other end of our very long and not acoustic house, like with an activity or lunch or a movie to go to sleep to or something, before we shut the doors.
But he keeps absolutely killing me with these kinds of "Mom it seemed like you were saying Oh a bunch of times in there last night" or "How come whenever you and Dad take a bath, you're like, screaming" questions *headdesk* I'm not sure if he's just enjoying having me along/playing innocent - because they KNOW about sex - or if he is really confused about what's going on - which is possible because, as previously stated, Aaron is really oblivious. G and I still joke in private all the time about how he referenced us "doing the thingy" in horror when I told him I was going to the doctor to get an IUD.
I heard my parents having sex at his age and fully understood it as sex and just didn't care. It wasn't an event in any way, it was like how I could hear my sister playing or a dog barking next door. I mean they were in their room with the door shut, it wasn't like paraded throughout the house or something, and I guess I am a little more, uh. Vocal, than my mother? Bleh, eww, the thought of parental sex still makes me wanna puke :p My good friend Kathy told me her parents had like an 8 hour block of time every Sunday that was Do Not Disturb hours where they kept their bedroom door locked and she thought it was adorable, even in high school.
I guess I'm gonna have to have some kind of Conversation with him and quit dodging, because there is no way to guarantee he's sleeping all the time, Grant generally has to go to sleep before any of the rest of us, and I'm not going to quit having sex until they're all out of the house. For all of you who are going to ask, no I can't really enjoy it silently - I've already got a pillow over my face most of the time :p
My hesitation is just that I think it's awkward and weird to be going through puberty and aware of people getting it on audibly close by - I have very distinct memories of being on the phone with someone who was totally disgusted that he could hear his parents and was yelling "Oh my God SHUT UP!" and throwing sneakers across the hall at their bedroom door from his bunk in disgust. I don't want to get into that kind of thing, or be like AWARE that they're aware as shit's going down. Ugh.
Geez man sometimes balancing "myself" and "myself as a mom" is a lot of bs. I like the idea of them understanding sex is pleasurable and part of a healthy relationship and knowing their mom and dad love each other, but it's still bs :p
