(no subject)

Well, Pa is not in as much immediate danger as we feared he could be...he's been awake today. There is a major struggle to get him breathing deeply enough since it just causes a lot of chest pain right now as he starts to heal, and he had some random spikes in heart rate that they've had to medicate down that they say happens in about half of patients...but he's sitting in a chair hooked up to less things.

I'm having a really hard time with like, blanking out completely when I try to recall what my mother said or tell someone else how he's doing. My brain just wants to drop it all down the well as fast as it comes in.

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I actually had a really good day today, overall. And that hasn't happened in too long, and I'm really glad it did and hopeful that I'll get more of them. I can isolate some variables and try to manipulate them in the future. Bring it :)