This week I am a mom.

And there just has not been much room for anything else.

schoolwork at the park, in the humidity, with water poured on our heads under the pavilion to keep from dying of heatstroke (that was the day a rain shower cooled it down from 104 to 95)

Ananda coming out all ready for dance in bright orange boy short bathingsuit bottoms, a jeweltone blue lycra halter, thigh high rainbow striped socks and her new purple and blue velour Pumas - with my giant purple and silver sunglasses, and her pink hair...

taking her shopping everywhere with her birthday money - Michael's for pastels and a sketchbook, Rack Room Shoes for those Pumas and some thong sandals with a big wraparound ankle piece of beading, Hot Topic for a water bottle covered in cartoon monsters and turquoise manic panic and Rock Band themed Silly Bandz

taking her and Aaron shopping at Dance Plus for the recital - black ballet shoes for both, pink for her, black jazz shoes for her, and clip on "diamond" earrings and a dark brown bun net and fishnets and $98 later...

finding Elise a great tank top, a tank dress and bathingsuit for $6 total at the consignment store next door

Jake and Isaac's AWANA awards ceremony

spending a solid hour labeling over 100 individual items and bags to get them ready for the recital with each dance's pieces all assembled in an individual bag that would go in a larger bag...and packing their lunches and rehearsal schedules and lists of phone numbers

getting up early to take them up there for final stage rehearsal, and spend the morning driving all over Miami finding a replacement Bring Em Out jean jacket for Aaron (in JUNE - finally Goodwill worked) because he left his in the Colony Theater last weekend

sitting up in the room with the little kids, reading and reading to them

snuggling in bed with Isaac

laughing my head off because Jake managed to scrunch up his forehead and say "I haven't eaten ANYTHING today" before his eyes were open yesterday morning

cutting three boys' hair with electric clippers

nursing Elise in the chair, on the couch, in the bed, and always both - "TWO milks, mama"

long convoluted talks with Ananda about why she is acting bitter and jaded and lashing out at me so much, because I don't understand, and want to understand, and I love her

laying with her in her bed, snuggled under the covers, reading to her

crawling around in the sand searching for her tooth that just fell out (AND FINDING IT!!)

kayaking around the lake at my sister's with kids

sitting in cramped chairs in a tight crowded row with Grant for FOUR AND A HALF HOURS of recital today, to see his four and her five acts

congratulating them, taking them out to pizza and ice cream afterwards just them

sitting Ananda down on my bed and showing her all the makeup I bought for her for the show and telling her she can keep it all, and borrow my portable purse makeup bag and explaining how to use everything

hugging Aaron on the beach and trying to comisserate about the circle of life because he just watched a malformed duckling die on the shoreline

planning his birthday cake

arguing arguing fighting arguing Elise to GO. TO. SLEEP!!!!! for two to three hours every night

cajoling and bargaining with her to brush her teeth

prodding and nagging 3 bigger kids to do their chores

trying to reason with Isaac about why he can't eat treats all day long

forcing him to take a bath

going with Isaac and Jake (and Brian) to see THE HUMONGOUS ENORMOUS DEAD FISH, THAT WAS DEAD!!!

running out the backdoor behind all five of them because OUR BANANA TREE IS GROWING BANANAS!!

subtraction tedium with Kumon

timers set for everything

laughing and laughing with Grant about their funny things, so many funny things every day

sitting down to breakfast, to lunch, to dinner, sitting down all the time at the dining table with them all and praying and talking, for tea, for snacks, for Jake's cutting book with his little red scissors

Rubbing Aaron's head, Annie's back, pinching Elise's butt, hugging Jakey, kissing Isaac, trying through squinting whoa to figure out why someone is crying so loudly because they somehow got hurt again for the two minutes until they don't even remember they got hurt, and I give up



There haven't really been enough hours. It's mostly good. I'm glad the show is over. Glad they're in bed for now. Glad we have a USB full of Weeds and can sleep in tomorrow.

(no subject)

I spent about an hour and a half today feeling super relieved and chill because the recital is over, the school year's dance classes are over, we had nothing we HAD to do today and some things we wanted to. I made fried eggs on english muffins and others with just butter and jelly and cut up some kiwis and made plans with the kids. Then too many impossible frustrating bullshit things in a row happened and I've since spent the last 4 hours becoming more and more defeated and down. BLAH!

-my kids are requiring a really innapropriate amount of nagging and harrassment to do anything I tell them to (i.e., daily chores I'm not even supposed to have to remind them about)

-I called the dentist back AGAIN (because for some reason they were closed Friday afternoon) and they can't tell me until they make some calls whether they can take our insurance and so I have to wait for a call back tomorrow

-this woman who gave me a cc# that is coming back as incorrect for an Usborne order (who I have emailed and left voicemails for) finally emailed me back just saying "call me please"...aaaaand still isn't answering the phone when I do.

-I told the kids we would go get Elise the build a bear my mother sent a gift card for months ago, for her, and now I can't find it where I've known it was in my closet forever. Called my mom, no answer.

-my laptop fan is dying and I can't use it (I'm using the main computer, but it's not the one I write with or take to the kitchen for recipes or have my own stuff set up on... it's just irritating)

-then Grant emails me and says, "I only have a couple of paychecks left until this New York trip, we have to figure something out." WE DO have to "figure something out", whatever the hell that means. Aaron will get his guinea pigs and the $100 for pet sitting on Saturday, and then his birthday is 2 Sundays away and we're hoping he gets some more help from relatives then, and I'm trying some more Usborne stuff, but otherwise...I have established that nobody at Dance Empire is interested in sharing a double hotel room with us, NYC YMCAs don't accept children, and a kind soul's offered employee discount is not valid that week at any of the hotels in the city for some bizarre reason nobody can explain to me (as it's not like there is a holiday or something). So. Right. Yard sale? Haha.

*sigh*

This stuff is making normal minor irritations like how I don't have any decent clothes to put on to go out to the store and there's an awful lot of cleaning to do around here and how my brother walks in and starts immediately trying to hide around corners and scare people as they walk into rooms REALLY REALLY IRRITATING.

Here's hoping that once we've gone to the grocery store and gotten cash back after getting dinner things, there are roadside stands selling lychees....