![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Home Management
May. 25th, 2010 03:54 pmThis is a concept that is just missing around here.
I get a tremendous amount of crap accomplished most days, and there are also tons of things I should be doing but don't - rarely do I prioritize or plan out what happens and what doesn't very well in advance. It's just whatever I happen to get to on an immediate-urgency basis. If we've been slacking on schoolwork we do extra. If the house is horrendous because we've been out too much, we clean for a couple of hours. If there's something that starts at a certain time, we leave. If Grant is home and we have the opportunity to spend time alone together we forgo any other productive activities in favor of that. If we have nothing to do and I or someone else thinks about ongoing projects we could attend to, like gardening, we get on that. If someone is having an emotional crisis or illness everything stops for it. This sort of works out, mostly. We throw these great potlucks that we invite people to a week ahead of time and we spend the entire day of in a cleaning and cooking frenzy that wraps up about an hour into the event.
I'm also really terrible about basic things like knowing what the date is, what we have scheduled over the course of the next couple of weeks, punctuality in general, and giving people notice for anything where that would be relevant.
FOR INSTANCE. Ananda's birthday is on June 1. So obviously I called her venue of choice to find out about party rates and booking a party...yesterday. I felt good that I was getting all the info and talking with Grant and making the plans, even though it will have to be the weekend following the birthday and that still cuts it a little close for eviting people (giving them almost two weeks notice). I also had this whole big plan for today that I felt great about - we reworked the chore system, woke up and got a ton of cleaning done and I had planned ahead with the kids to go do Usborne sales at Dance Empire today before renewing our library books. With my clothes in the dryer and about to take a shower, way ahead of schedule, Ananda says to me, "Mom, you know we only have 3 minutes to get to science class?"
SCIENCE CLASS?! The one we paid money for, that there are only six of, that they love and adore?! Elise running around naked and it being a half hour drive away?
So yeah, they're missing class 4 of a 6 week cumulative curriculum. Great.
In a very real way, this system-less system is fine. In another way, it sucks. The term "home management" makes me picture someone being IN CHARGE and knowing what's going on and having everything under control. I'm not sure if this is an impossible illusion or something I am just missing out on. I also have the feeling that sort of position is one I'd like to hire out, as though managing our calendar and our day to day activities would be a full time job in and of itself for someone who didn't actually have to do anything else, and I could just defer to this person for what my next task should be.
To some degree my ability to stay calm and relaxed in a fairly hectic environment is "enough" - I couldn't be happy with a super-fixed, over thought system like the Duggars or that "Jon and Kate Plus 8" Kate use. And to some degree you have to start saying "no" and putting up limitations to avoid bedlam, and I'm not really willing to do that (like, not letting Robby come over on the weekends or not having Bob live here or not doing a birthday party for Annie or letting them take science classes or dance or not getting library books because we have books here, or...whatever).
I just realized as I sit here that Gloria and Lj are coming over for late dinner tonight after we've gotten back from every place we're going. Which makes me think I need to get the 8 clean loads of laundry piled up in the tv room put away and actually plan a meal rather than just figuring I'll throw something together later.
Hmm.
I get a tremendous amount of crap accomplished most days, and there are also tons of things I should be doing but don't - rarely do I prioritize or plan out what happens and what doesn't very well in advance. It's just whatever I happen to get to on an immediate-urgency basis. If we've been slacking on schoolwork we do extra. If the house is horrendous because we've been out too much, we clean for a couple of hours. If there's something that starts at a certain time, we leave. If Grant is home and we have the opportunity to spend time alone together we forgo any other productive activities in favor of that. If we have nothing to do and I or someone else thinks about ongoing projects we could attend to, like gardening, we get on that. If someone is having an emotional crisis or illness everything stops for it. This sort of works out, mostly. We throw these great potlucks that we invite people to a week ahead of time and we spend the entire day of in a cleaning and cooking frenzy that wraps up about an hour into the event.
I'm also really terrible about basic things like knowing what the date is, what we have scheduled over the course of the next couple of weeks, punctuality in general, and giving people notice for anything where that would be relevant.
FOR INSTANCE. Ananda's birthday is on June 1. So obviously I called her venue of choice to find out about party rates and booking a party...yesterday. I felt good that I was getting all the info and talking with Grant and making the plans, even though it will have to be the weekend following the birthday and that still cuts it a little close for eviting people (giving them almost two weeks notice). I also had this whole big plan for today that I felt great about - we reworked the chore system, woke up and got a ton of cleaning done and I had planned ahead with the kids to go do Usborne sales at Dance Empire today before renewing our library books. With my clothes in the dryer and about to take a shower, way ahead of schedule, Ananda says to me, "Mom, you know we only have 3 minutes to get to science class?"
SCIENCE CLASS?! The one we paid money for, that there are only six of, that they love and adore?! Elise running around naked and it being a half hour drive away?
So yeah, they're missing class 4 of a 6 week cumulative curriculum. Great.
In a very real way, this system-less system is fine. In another way, it sucks. The term "home management" makes me picture someone being IN CHARGE and knowing what's going on and having everything under control. I'm not sure if this is an impossible illusion or something I am just missing out on. I also have the feeling that sort of position is one I'd like to hire out, as though managing our calendar and our day to day activities would be a full time job in and of itself for someone who didn't actually have to do anything else, and I could just defer to this person for what my next task should be.
To some degree my ability to stay calm and relaxed in a fairly hectic environment is "enough" - I couldn't be happy with a super-fixed, over thought system like the Duggars or that "Jon and Kate Plus 8" Kate use. And to some degree you have to start saying "no" and putting up limitations to avoid bedlam, and I'm not really willing to do that (like, not letting Robby come over on the weekends or not having Bob live here or not doing a birthday party for Annie or letting them take science classes or dance or not getting library books because we have books here, or...whatever).
I just realized as I sit here that Gloria and Lj are coming over for late dinner tonight after we've gotten back from every place we're going. Which makes me think I need to get the 8 clean loads of laundry piled up in the tv room put away and actually plan a meal rather than just figuring I'll throw something together later.
Hmm.
