I call my new icon, "Tropical McDreamy"

Tomorrow is our 4th wedding anniversary. We both realized this with a bit of a shock last week, and then we couldn't figure out what number anniversary it was even putting our heads together...it was really funny. I thought I would have to pull up my lj archives until we realized Jake was a baby at the wedding so we could do some math and come up with something reliable. I'm glad neither of us are the slightest bit interested in significant dates, because it would be pretty horrible if just one of us was.

We celebrated on Saturday, since he works tomorrow, and it was so great. First we went out in the afternoon and swam at the Y together (with free passes available online, even, what-WHAT). I haven't swam in forever and we hardly ever get to swim alone - it was just good stuff, lots of laughing, lots of weightless hugs and nonsense and there is something about being in a pool that ignites his eyes in the best way. We have a long history of pools=sex and so I can't really be in a pool with him without wishing all the lifeguards and other patrons would kindly GTFO.

Later in the evening, we went up to Whole Foods and got this amazing feast. Margherita pizza, southwestern corn chowder with chicken, hazelnut chocolate, little bits of all kinds of stuff off the hot bar (terriyaki sesame sweet potato, curry things, plantains, mac n cheese). Smoothies and root beer. It was insane and awesome. The cashier was like, "Is this all for here?" and when we said yeah she was all, "You're not going to eat it ALL now, though?" and Grant said, "It's our anniversary" as if that magically explained it. She replied, "You must be hungry!" and we laughed about what standout gluttons we were for the next half hour as we feasted.

Then we drove through the beautiful, old part of the Gables where trees line and canopy the roads, and intersections are big stone affairs, and all the houses have wrought iron balconies and vines growing up them, with the windows down and Bach's cello suites on, until we made our circuitous way to Miami Beach. There was a fabulous historic hotel with a HUGE marble hot tub right in the lobby under stained glass windows, and a bar right off the boardwalk where we got a (virgin, because we're dorks) pina colada and huge rocks made into a seawall that the waves were crashing up from, right by a tide pool...Lots of wandering, and laughing, and kissing, and picture taking and flowers. We were out for hoooooooooooouurs while the illustrious Gloria and Lj played music and games with our happy kids, just because they love them. HOW COOL IS THAT?!

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It was all palm tree breeze and Justin Bieber the whole way home.

...Yes, I said Justin Bieber.

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I need to waste less time - like, practically, logistically with the sort of responsibilities I have I need to - but I'm not sure I'm capable of it. I'm feeling all sorts of frustrated because traditionally whenever I am really utilizing every minute of the day and magically seeming to get everything done and then some, it's when I'm very close to God and depending on Him. Lately, I'm not very close to God, though I still feel I LOVE God intensely and identifiy as a Christian. Anyway, the point is I'm working with normal human limitations rather than "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" (Phillipians something or other).

Today I wasted a bunch of time laying in bed long after the alarm had gone off, luxuriating in Grant's strong warmth and additional space as Jake had cleared out. Like for two hours. Then I got up and was a whirlwind of productivity for about two hours - roasting a chicken and cauliflower, boiling corn, getting a check written and a form filled out and both mailed, generally talking to and with each of my kids and responding to their various requests, along with making them all do their various chores, serving plates and cups. Aaaaaaaaaaaand then I stalled out again. Grant went off to work and the kids all wandered off in different directions while I putzed around on the internet for a couple of hours we could have used for schoolwork or I could have used for watering my plants and cleaning or...you know...any of the myriad things I have on my backed-up to do list. Chatted with Dama on facebook. This and that.

Then it was time to get ready, so I dressed Jake, who had been naked, and had everyone put on shoes, and helped Elise, and made sure Aaron was dressed for hip hop and Annie had her library bag and off we went...talked with Annie in the front seat, dropped Aaron off, took everyone else to the library, forced Elise awake to get her in, and then I got really excited and proactive again. I had this breakthrough because Aaron really drags his feet about silent reading - I make him do half an hour of silent reading a lot of days and even though he reads well, he tends to balk about it for awhile before it happens. And I had this lightbulb moment that when HE goes and gets something to read in his room at bedtime just because he WANTS to, it's always nonfiction. Yet I've persisted in trying to find him fiction like Ananda reads (but slightly more "him"). So I got him all these (kids') nonfiction books about things he's asked me about; metals, rocks and minerals, rubber, plumbing and wastewater, what happens to trash after it gets picked up at your curb, lasers and inventions thought up by kids (including the trampoline!). FYI, this went over very well so I'm really pleased. Back at the library, though, I helped Jake find some learn-to-draw guides for dinosaurs and cars, and Elise and I picked out a bunch of books on leopards. I found a book about chemical volcanoes (for science experiments) for Ananda (who is doing a volcano for the science fair) and some more advanced drawing technique books for her, too - a face one, and a monster one - which includes Medusa, who she is playing in the greek myth themed "Historically Speaking" coming up. And of course she picked out a thick fantasy novel. Isaac got a look and find book (his favorite) that is all finding things in famous paintings from the Metropolitan Museum of Art. It was good times. We went back and got Aaron, and headed home.

On the way, I called my friend Kathy, who I haven't talked to in FOREVER, and we talked for over an hour. So, the whole way home plus at least 30 minutes. She's engaged, which is a new development, and we just had a lot of catching up to do in general, and that was great, but it was a lot of handing off snacks to kids and shushing and shooing them. Which would probably be fine, except that Grant called on the house phone right as I was hanging up with her, and I spent 15 minutes on the front porch, talking to him, and then came in and putzed around on the internet for the next however long. Long, though.

I did little minimal stuff - I ok'd an Ananda and Elise bath, I read the leopard books to them and showed Aaron his books and did a couple of the look and find pages with Isaac. I nursed. I oversaw them eating some things. Mostly I've totally wasted the last 4 hours, though, and now it's time to brush their teeth and read to them so they can go to bed and, well. We did no sit down schoolwork today. I cleaned absolutely nothing. A ton of my to-do list, including phone calls and plant watering and hooey are not finished. And let me tell you, internet, I don't even want to get up from here right now, at all. I'm sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeepy as all get out. The science fair is a week from Friday, and we haven't gotten much further than deciding what they're doing. The historically speaking costumes need to be planned and implemented. I've had a Right Start Math lesson out and ready to go for like a week now? They've done other, independent school stuff in that time frame but wth?

So yeah. I know I'm getting a lot done. I'm know I'm NOT getting even more done. And I'm not really sure how much more I'm capable of.

Obviously the solution, if it would really solve things, is to go on and get back to regular devotional time and more frequent prayer.

SO WHY DOES THAT SEEM SO HARD?