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Jun. 5th, 2008 01:29 amTonight ends 4 days in a row off for Grant. It was a nice recharge for me, featuring among other things:
-Spending about 3 hours out with just him and Ananda, playing arcade games and hanging around talking at Starbucks
-having a shower all by my damn self
-finally going to the ENT and getting my ears properly treated
-running around a track, first running I've done in forever
-brisk walking (with a double stroller no less) for almost a solid hour - it's almost impossible to walk as excercise with the quantity and ages of kids I have now
-finally getting to the dentist, cleaning and check-up and x-rays and most importantly, the two fillings I needed.
-eating something delicious and healthy that he cooked
-getting a couple of consecutive uninterrupted hours to write. I'm really excited about some of the short stories I'm amassing.
( sex rant )
I'm trying to lose weight in earnest. I've actually cut out refined sugar and white flour for a couple of weeks now, along with G, who's been eating this way successfully for a couple of months and has the smaller pants to prove it. The physical activity feels good too: I really want to keep it up. I don't want to feel disabled or in recovery anymore. I'm feeling fed up with not being able to do anything about my abs because of this diastastis and worrying all the time about messing my hips up worse, I mean damn, how is a girl supposed to do anything in these conditions? With the hips I'm settling on stretching a lot before and after, getting back on a chiropractic regimen and sitting on the excercise ball as much as possible. With the belly, well, I'm just focusing on aerobic excercise for now. I kind of have to resign myself to future surgery as part of an overall plan or else I will get very depressed and give up, because really, my arms and legs getting thinner while I continue to look 6 months pregnant without a support garment on is not really my cup of tea.
I'm gradually getting to a point where I think that if there were an easy way to work out the down time, I would have the surgery immediately. To be over it. I would be terrified when it actually came time, and think horrible things and pray copiously, but just to be freaking OVER this and have my normal range of motion back and get dressed like a normal person...would be nice. Really nice. So, I can see it as "I'm losing weight so that the surgery will be safer and more effective in, say, a year or something when I have it...and hey, then I'll be HOT." :p
Honestly, though, I don't know how we'll ever work out this down time thing. I mean from what I've read, with a full on tummy tuck with the muscles and skin and everything, you basically need 6 weeks flat on your back. I guess I could tentatively think of it as Summer of 2010? Elise would be 3, Jake 4 1/2, Isaac 6, Aaron and Annie just turning 8 and 9. Grant could take his 2 weeks of paid leave for the year along with some unpaid time we somehow budgeted for? Maybe my mom could come and/or sister help? Still doesn't sound ideal by any stretch of the imagination, but far more doable than this situation with a barely 1 year old, a 2 1/2 year old, a 4 year old, etc...Theoretically nobody would be nursing, everyone would be potty trained and we'd have the bed to ourselves at least most nights. *sigh*
Ok, I have since typing those last couple of paragraphs totally backtracked due to lovely links like these:
http://www.tuckthattummy.com/abdominoplasty_risks.htm
http://www.tuckthattummy.com/drains_removal.htm
http://www.newimage.com/cosmetic-plastic-surgery/abdomen/tummy-recovery.aspx
Those are just the cream of the crop. Bottom line: perhaps wearing a sausage casing for the rest of my life is not so bad after all :/
I still have horrific recurring nightmares about twice a week. About warped and twisted versions of hospitals with staff blown totally out of reality and into my worst hormonal birthing fears. I spend the days after they happen uneasy, thinking I need therapy even though my waking life is just fine. "Lost" does not help, with it's underground, make-shift medical rooms and mysterious, agenda-driven "others" that steal pregnant women away. *shuddering unontrollably and changing subject*
I really set out to write a happy entry. Blah.
-Spending about 3 hours out with just him and Ananda, playing arcade games and hanging around talking at Starbucks
-having a shower all by my damn self
-finally going to the ENT and getting my ears properly treated
-running around a track, first running I've done in forever
-brisk walking (with a double stroller no less) for almost a solid hour - it's almost impossible to walk as excercise with the quantity and ages of kids I have now
-finally getting to the dentist, cleaning and check-up and x-rays and most importantly, the two fillings I needed.
-eating something delicious and healthy that he cooked
-getting a couple of consecutive uninterrupted hours to write. I'm really excited about some of the short stories I'm amassing.
( sex rant )
I'm trying to lose weight in earnest. I've actually cut out refined sugar and white flour for a couple of weeks now, along with G, who's been eating this way successfully for a couple of months and has the smaller pants to prove it. The physical activity feels good too: I really want to keep it up. I don't want to feel disabled or in recovery anymore. I'm feeling fed up with not being able to do anything about my abs because of this diastastis and worrying all the time about messing my hips up worse, I mean damn, how is a girl supposed to do anything in these conditions? With the hips I'm settling on stretching a lot before and after, getting back on a chiropractic regimen and sitting on the excercise ball as much as possible. With the belly, well, I'm just focusing on aerobic excercise for now. I kind of have to resign myself to future surgery as part of an overall plan or else I will get very depressed and give up, because really, my arms and legs getting thinner while I continue to look 6 months pregnant without a support garment on is not really my cup of tea.
I'm gradually getting to a point where I think that if there were an easy way to work out the down time, I would have the surgery immediately. To be over it. I would be terrified when it actually came time, and think horrible things and pray copiously, but just to be freaking OVER this and have my normal range of motion back and get dressed like a normal person...would be nice. Really nice. So, I can see it as "I'm losing weight so that the surgery will be safer and more effective in, say, a year or something when I have it...and hey, then I'll be HOT." :p
Honestly, though, I don't know how we'll ever work out this down time thing. I mean from what I've read, with a full on tummy tuck with the muscles and skin and everything, you basically need 6 weeks flat on your back. I guess I could tentatively think of it as Summer of 2010? Elise would be 3, Jake 4 1/2, Isaac 6, Aaron and Annie just turning 8 and 9. Grant could take his 2 weeks of paid leave for the year along with some unpaid time we somehow budgeted for? Maybe my mom could come and/or sister help? Still doesn't sound ideal by any stretch of the imagination, but far more doable than this situation with a barely 1 year old, a 2 1/2 year old, a 4 year old, etc...Theoretically nobody would be nursing, everyone would be potty trained and we'd have the bed to ourselves at least most nights. *sigh*
Ok, I have since typing those last couple of paragraphs totally backtracked due to lovely links like these:
http://www.tuckthattummy.com/abdominoplasty_risks.htm
http://www.tuckthattummy.com/drains_removal.htm
http://www.newimage.com/cosmetic-plastic-surgery/abdomen/tummy-recovery.aspx
Those are just the cream of the crop. Bottom line: perhaps wearing a sausage casing for the rest of my life is not so bad after all :/
I still have horrific recurring nightmares about twice a week. About warped and twisted versions of hospitals with staff blown totally out of reality and into my worst hormonal birthing fears. I spend the days after they happen uneasy, thinking I need therapy even though my waking life is just fine. "Lost" does not help, with it's underground, make-shift medical rooms and mysterious, agenda-driven "others" that steal pregnant women away. *shuddering unontrollably and changing subject*
I really set out to write a happy entry. Blah.
