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Babies, babies everywhere...
Nov. 12th, 2006 12:58 pmI feel almost guilty because I want this baby to be a girl so much. I know that I would love a boy just as much, and never wish he was anything else, once he was out...but in the interim while I feel there are "options", so to speak...I sure would like another girl. I have all these newborn clothes of Ananda's sitting in bags, where they've been sitting for 6 years now. I have a great name that feels right. I have a little girl dying for a sister.
It's weird, I had girl hunches in the very beginning, but ever since then I've just had this idea that OF COURSE it will be another boy, come on, what am I thinking, I only have boys from here on in. Or something. Like I feel stupid not expecting a boy, since with Isaac and Jake I was "hoping for a girl" until I knew otherwise.
And that again makes me feel silly...as Isaac and Jake are totally, completely, utterly different kids regardless of gender and I wouldn't change anything aboutJake *coughcough* either of them for the world :p
My sister is having some postpartum hormone, demanding newborn, living with in-laws, healing from childbirth times. I know that emotional rollercoaster and wish I had more resources to help her. She's in a tiny place, though, where I really can't take all of my kids for any length of time, and Grant has been working nonstop. He has to have the bank's website done by tomorrow, and that is a Big Deal. He's been busy with that all evening after spending his days gone on this job for Cingular doing network setup, since early Thursday. The night the baby was born he put all the kids to bed himself so I could stay up at the center with my mom, but since then he's been almost completely unavailable. I really, really REALLY wish there was more I could do...I'm taking her some lentil soup this afternoon and might get some extra things for her at the farmer's market when we go in awhile. She knows she's welcome to come over here to "escape" anytime (through the week while G Sr and Robbie are at work and school, the place really does seem spacious and quiet, especially while Isaac and Jake are napping, and compared to her place). I've told her she can call me whenever she likes...but she is not someone who actually WILL, you know?
My mother is going home today, too, so I think that is hard for her...my mom's been over there almost the whole time she's been down, and I think Laura feels like she's going to be alone in a sea of Frank's family once she goes back to Jacksonville.
I suppose that to some extent you have to go through these dark tunnels to emerge on the other side as a parent.
It's weird, I had girl hunches in the very beginning, but ever since then I've just had this idea that OF COURSE it will be another boy, come on, what am I thinking, I only have boys from here on in. Or something. Like I feel stupid not expecting a boy, since with Isaac and Jake I was "hoping for a girl" until I knew otherwise.
And that again makes me feel silly...as Isaac and Jake are totally, completely, utterly different kids regardless of gender and I wouldn't change anything about
My sister is having some postpartum hormone, demanding newborn, living with in-laws, healing from childbirth times. I know that emotional rollercoaster and wish I had more resources to help her. She's in a tiny place, though, where I really can't take all of my kids for any length of time, and Grant has been working nonstop. He has to have the bank's website done by tomorrow, and that is a Big Deal. He's been busy with that all evening after spending his days gone on this job for Cingular doing network setup, since early Thursday. The night the baby was born he put all the kids to bed himself so I could stay up at the center with my mom, but since then he's been almost completely unavailable. I really, really REALLY wish there was more I could do...I'm taking her some lentil soup this afternoon and might get some extra things for her at the farmer's market when we go in awhile. She knows she's welcome to come over here to "escape" anytime (through the week while G Sr and Robbie are at work and school, the place really does seem spacious and quiet, especially while Isaac and Jake are napping, and compared to her place). I've told her she can call me whenever she likes...but she is not someone who actually WILL, you know?
My mother is going home today, too, so I think that is hard for her...my mom's been over there almost the whole time she's been down, and I think Laura feels like she's going to be alone in a sea of Frank's family once she goes back to Jacksonville.
I suppose that to some extent you have to go through these dark tunnels to emerge on the other side as a parent.
