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Nov. 23rd, 2003 12:27 pmi love it that it's getting cool. i love taking long walks. i'm full of thoughts.
jess came over last night and she, i and grant watched "spirited away". i'm 24 weeks along, as of yesterday. looking forward (tentatively) to going down to key west for thanksgiving, and struggling to finish a letter to jean-paul.
3 days ago my little boy rode his riding horse down the steps to the laundry room, resulting in a lightly bleeding lip, more bleeding gums with a loose tooth, a tongue with *flaps* on either side, where he bit into it, and the underside of his chin split open to the point of debating stitches. there was so much blood, he cried for 30 minutes. i was in a little bit of a panic. i suppose he's making up for lost time, because really it's sort of a miracle that he gets injured as little as he does, fearless as he is.
i miss swimming (the water's too cold, even when the weather allows). i have a doctor's appointment tomorrow, for the first time in quite a while. and i'm feeling deadpan, numb. like i've just gotten too strong and too sensible and too grown up to let things effect me the way they used to. that knowledge is like some sort of silver lining o' sadness around the numbness. but that's ok, because the numbness feels a lot like content, especially when i'm out taking long walks in the cooler weather. the sky is simply magnificent around here lately, too, which helps. in a way this is better than being childish and indulging in melodrama and angst and misery at every turn that doesn't go my way. or bending everything around me to assure that it DOES go my way, damnitt, no matter what. (i had gotten pretty good at that).
having kids has really dissolved my need for isolation and privacy, and my selfishness of heart. mostly.
still reading too much fanfiction. currently loving up some sweet luscious riesen. you know, since i'm chocolate flavored and all...gotta keep infusing myself.
my hair is actually really getting long. i'm not lying this time. i wonder what jp thought of that poem? i wonder why i'm just not going to church (anymore?) ? it's good to know that christmas is right around the corner.
jess came over last night and she, i and grant watched "spirited away". i'm 24 weeks along, as of yesterday. looking forward (tentatively) to going down to key west for thanksgiving, and struggling to finish a letter to jean-paul.
3 days ago my little boy rode his riding horse down the steps to the laundry room, resulting in a lightly bleeding lip, more bleeding gums with a loose tooth, a tongue with *flaps* on either side, where he bit into it, and the underside of his chin split open to the point of debating stitches. there was so much blood, he cried for 30 minutes. i was in a little bit of a panic. i suppose he's making up for lost time, because really it's sort of a miracle that he gets injured as little as he does, fearless as he is.
i miss swimming (the water's too cold, even when the weather allows). i have a doctor's appointment tomorrow, for the first time in quite a while. and i'm feeling deadpan, numb. like i've just gotten too strong and too sensible and too grown up to let things effect me the way they used to. that knowledge is like some sort of silver lining o' sadness around the numbness. but that's ok, because the numbness feels a lot like content, especially when i'm out taking long walks in the cooler weather. the sky is simply magnificent around here lately, too, which helps. in a way this is better than being childish and indulging in melodrama and angst and misery at every turn that doesn't go my way. or bending everything around me to assure that it DOES go my way, damnitt, no matter what. (i had gotten pretty good at that).
having kids has really dissolved my need for isolation and privacy, and my selfishness of heart. mostly.
still reading too much fanfiction. currently loving up some sweet luscious riesen. you know, since i'm chocolate flavored and all...gotta keep infusing myself.
my hair is actually really getting long. i'm not lying this time. i wonder what jp thought of that poem? i wonder why i'm just not going to church (anymore?) ? it's good to know that christmas is right around the corner.
