altarflame | I love water. And, many many messages behind the cut. (Reply)

Last night was crazy, after I wrote my dramatic entry. Jake just would not sleep, and Isaac wet the bed, and then wanted a diaper, and then wanted some water, and then was so upset about who knows what...Grant gave up and resigned at like 4 am, but it took mah baby a couple hours longer than that to throw in the towel.

He woke me up this morning because there was some special on Discovery about stay at home moms, there was this mama talking about how her and her child and husband all live with her parents because it's the only way they can afford to live on one income, and they're non-vaccinating vegetarian etc etc while her parents just think all of that is weird...I was like, "I didn't realize the internet happened on tv too" *headscratch*

I was also PISSED about being awake, bitter and snippy and generally allowing myself to take myself way more seriously than I normally do. Grant and I feel free to laugh at each other or ourselves for bad moods, normally, but this morning I was acting uber emo and just...couldn't deal. I don't know.

I had fruit salad I'd made the night before to hand out for breakfast, then I made pancakes and sausage awhile later for lunch as he was heading off for out of the house work, and today is the day I had "booked my sister" in advance for child-free recreation, but he had appointments...I was not happy. I was coping but in this "Please just everybody LEAVE ME ALONE" kind of way.

But then

mommydama posted some Mother Teresa stuff in her lj that I needed to see, and I read it about a dozen times, and prayed, and left Grant a voicemail about how it's ok with me if he needs to work, I'm sorry I was freaking out, and I saved him some lunch if he gets hungry. I talked to my sister on the phone. I reveled in how independantly Jake plays for HOURS out of everyday, and laughed my head off at Isaac running around in nothing but a see through pink over shirt, with Fifth Disease splotchy and red all over him.

Then Grant came home and gave me a $20, and I went and got Laura. We went through Wendy's for chicken nuggets for her and a baked potato for me, and then swam at the Y. It was...really good. I don't know how to tell you how good. I don't even know why it was so good. But just to be driving around, listening to music and getting some food with another grown up female was SO AWESOME. And changing in the locker room, taking showers, swimming laps and talking...all day ever since I've been stopping to feel refreshed and think back to how great it was. I really needed some time with no strings attached. I can't remember when I last got in and out of the van independant of carseats or diaper bags. She's pregnant and we have so much to talk about. For some reason while I was in the pool my mid to lower abs started working again for the first time in, oh, 2 years? I mean I can suddenly feel them and flex them a little again. This gives me hope that I may be able to eventually hoist up my sagging cut-and-stitched muscles after all. It's so bizarre, it's like I got a new limb. I keep tightening them up. I wonder if I'll get back feeling in the skin above them or not. Part of my body came back to life, who knew.

Sooo...I brought her home with me and made pork chops with onions, garlic parmesean mashed potatoes and corn on the cob for dinner, and still with the Jake being low maintenance and the Isaac being unbearably cute. Then I took her home and ate chocolate, and read Narnia to Ananda and an old issue of Your Big Backyard to Aaron (did you guys know cheetahs chirp like birds?) and now I'm here, with some dishes to do and some laundry to move and maybe, just maybe, some sleep to get. Wouldn't that be something.

Babs - I'm so glad you updated, I was starting to worry about you.
Arielle - I do know about a homeschool convention, but it's far and expensive. Maybe another year.
Eleanor - I'm still reading. I'm sorry it's hard lately, but I know you can get through it. I realize that sounds cliche, but I mean it, damnitt.
Corin13/Paige - I've never seen you before, weird. You don't look weird, it's just weird to realize I'd never seen a pic of you. Also, I agree that I'm having sleep deprivation mood swings. I was a wreck when Isaac was an infant. I try to just remember that while I'm having a hard couple of weeks with Jake, he's still an angel during the day. It was a hard year and a half with Isaac, and 24 hours.
Sara - I have not sent the book to Jen. I was considering just sending it back to you, since so much time has passed. I have kept in pristine condition in a safe place. Let me know what you prefer, I'm mailing out a lot of packages.
Melissa - Heck yes I want the telescope!
Julie - that HP icon collection was amazing, I looked at it for like 10 minutes
talula_fairie - I had that same epiphany of baby sleeping goodness with Jake, when he drifted off sitting on his own for the first time. That post and those pictures made me smile. I care not of all this myspace hooey :p
Courtney I'm praying for Marissa. Your posts break my heart sometimes.
Annaclark Screw that guy! Except NOT LITERALLY. And you need to talk to your parents flat out and point out the level of freedom you enjoy while away at school, and what other people your age have on their plate (i.e., children of their own).
housepoet I cannot BELIEVE how far along you are. I sort of forget you're pregnant, sometimes, and then it's like...whoa!
Poppy I love your posts. I always wish you were consistently reading and commenting on my lj. Your perspective is so unique and invaluable to me.