I felt like when we did come together as one, we were really as one. if that makes sense..
It does make sense.
WOW 17 months. I am seriously thinking we need to move the date of the wedding up just 2 days into this business :P Really, though, it's hard for me because it doesn't just limit sex, it limits any and all affection that could lead TO sex or cause strife over it all, and that really makes me feel far from him and lonely and I hate it. I know it's good for me and us on a temporary, independant, leaning on God instead of him, lifting up a sacrifice kind of way. And I do love the idea of it being all the more beautiful when we ARE married. But it's hard, for me. I've never really tried in earnest to abstain - I've only enjoyed the added thrill of "trying not to" while failing miserably at it :/ This time I'm really changing my whole outlook and perspective and making a big effort to not even think about sex or feel sexual at all, to just purge it from myself for the next however long and focus on my spirit rather than my flesh...
Thank you, for your prayers. I was very up in the air about bringing this all to my lj just because I didn't want to alienate or provoke any one of the many non-christians on my list, but decided to just roll with it since it's all honest.
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Date: 2006-01-30 07:41 am (UTC)It does make sense.
WOW 17 months. I am seriously thinking we need to move the date of the wedding up just 2 days into this business :P Really, though, it's hard for me because it doesn't just limit sex, it limits any and all affection that could lead TO sex or cause strife over it all, and that really makes me feel far from him and lonely and I hate it. I know it's good for me and us on a temporary, independant, leaning on God instead of him, lifting up a sacrifice kind of way. And I do love the idea of it being all the more beautiful when we ARE married. But it's hard, for me. I've never really tried in earnest to abstain - I've only enjoyed the added thrill of "trying not to" while failing miserably at it :/ This time I'm really changing my whole outlook and perspective and making a big effort to not even think about sex or feel sexual at all, to just purge it from myself for the next however long and focus on my spirit rather than my flesh...
Thank you, for your prayers. I was very up in the air about bringing this all to my lj just because I didn't want to alienate or provoke any one of the many non-christians on my list, but decided to just roll with it since it's all honest.