For better or worse...
Dec. 29th, 2005 12:49 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
altarflameThis morning Grant thought I was awake and I thought he was home, and we were both wrong. When I did wake up, it was to Isaac - who he had let out of bed - smearing something on me.
An hour later I had scrubbed him and myself - including his hair, and his butt, and in his ears - mopped the kitchen and entryway, sponged the dining table, and I still had carpet to clean and bedding to launder. Thank God Ananda's paints are washable. As it is there are still bright blue Tyrant Prints in the hallway right now...
I had him on the trampoline at dusk this evening. Him and Aaron. Ananda is sick today and was in the house napping, and Jake just naps all the time as a way of life. He was in just a diaper, and as the sun set it got a little cold, and then people started setting off big illegal fireworks a block over...Aaron loved it, but they scared the hell out of Isaac. He didn't want to go in, but did want to cuddle up in my lap. He kept making alarmed grunts and shaking his head no when things boomed. By the time the fireworks were over, it was full dark and all the way cold, but he was completely wrapped in my arms and legs and not wanting to move. I realized that I sit with Ananda, with Aaron, with Jake - just SIT, reading or watching tv or talking about things - for long periods all the time. But that NEVER HAPPENS with Isaac. Periodically when he's nursing, but even then, he is pulling my hair out and throwing a fit if I need to get up. But this evening he was just...chilling there. Hanging out with me. It was so nice, I started talking to him about all sorts of things the way I always do the others, but so rarely with him...Eventually I got uncomfortable, and rolled to the side to lay down with him in the crook of my arm, on his back. I thought for sure he'd jump up at that point. But he didn't, he stayed there and even snuggled closer. It was so nice. I asked him, "Are you sleepy?" and he nodded. I had Aaron run and get us a blanket, and he was so happy to feel it around him. He immediately flipped onto his back and gestured for me to pull it up to his shoulders.
We looked at the stars (he says "stars" very well) and the clouds and Aaron ran around, jumping on and off, running in circles around us...he ended up wearing his lit up Spiderman mask and shooting big foam darts out over the safety net most of the time (we really got WAY too many presents...), and curled up with the cat the rest. And Isaac just layed there and - you aren't gonna realize how big this is - he fell asleep. Curled up in the crook of my arm outside at night. Gradually, after a lot of time just staring and sighing and *holding my hand*. It was the sweetest thing ever. When he woke up, he sat up with the blanket wrapped tight around him for awhile, just looking around. I was in total awe.
He's so wonderful when he's ill or terrified.
An hour later I had scrubbed him and myself - including his hair, and his butt, and in his ears - mopped the kitchen and entryway, sponged the dining table, and I still had carpet to clean and bedding to launder. Thank God Ananda's paints are washable. As it is there are still bright blue Tyrant Prints in the hallway right now...
I had him on the trampoline at dusk this evening. Him and Aaron. Ananda is sick today and was in the house napping, and Jake just naps all the time as a way of life. He was in just a diaper, and as the sun set it got a little cold, and then people started setting off big illegal fireworks a block over...Aaron loved it, but they scared the hell out of Isaac. He didn't want to go in, but did want to cuddle up in my lap. He kept making alarmed grunts and shaking his head no when things boomed. By the time the fireworks were over, it was full dark and all the way cold, but he was completely wrapped in my arms and legs and not wanting to move. I realized that I sit with Ananda, with Aaron, with Jake - just SIT, reading or watching tv or talking about things - for long periods all the time. But that NEVER HAPPENS with Isaac. Periodically when he's nursing, but even then, he is pulling my hair out and throwing a fit if I need to get up. But this evening he was just...chilling there. Hanging out with me. It was so nice, I started talking to him about all sorts of things the way I always do the others, but so rarely with him...Eventually I got uncomfortable, and rolled to the side to lay down with him in the crook of my arm, on his back. I thought for sure he'd jump up at that point. But he didn't, he stayed there and even snuggled closer. It was so nice. I asked him, "Are you sleepy?" and he nodded. I had Aaron run and get us a blanket, and he was so happy to feel it around him. He immediately flipped onto his back and gestured for me to pull it up to his shoulders.
We looked at the stars (he says "stars" very well) and the clouds and Aaron ran around, jumping on and off, running in circles around us...he ended up wearing his lit up Spiderman mask and shooting big foam darts out over the safety net most of the time (we really got WAY too many presents...), and curled up with the cat the rest. And Isaac just layed there and - you aren't gonna realize how big this is - he fell asleep. Curled up in the crook of my arm outside at night. Gradually, after a lot of time just staring and sighing and *holding my hand*. It was the sweetest thing ever. When he woke up, he sat up with the blanket wrapped tight around him for awhile, just looking around. I was in total awe.
He's so wonderful when he's ill or terrified.
