Haven't been updating...
Sep. 27th, 2005 11:43 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
altarflameDue to lack of time, or disctraction, mostly. I've been doing well, though. Kind of got my head straight about continuing to be pregnant, and Isaac has been more calm, too. My due date is in 4 or 5 days, btw - does anyone know what happens to my ticker once it's passed, assuming I haven't had the baby yet?
I had/have a huge update I would like to type up, about how I love all of my children, Grant and I can easily imagine wanting/having more in the future, and I'm damn tired of total strangers in the grocery store asking if I'm getting my tubes tied and neighbors yelling "No more! No more!" across the street at me (that really happens!). I feel like only children are missing out bigtime and like closely spaced siblings have much cooler relationships...but I'm sure as heck not lambasting random women at the park for not feeling the same way within their own choices! It just boggles my mind that people see kids - new life, the ultimate blessing, etc - as this huge burdensome chore and interpret many of them as some sort of insane excess. I still do look forward to one day going back to school, being a chaplain, writing things that get published...but on another level, it really seems like anything else I do will be so empty, compared to raising children right. I'm so *fulfilled* by holidays and traditions within a big family...and absurdly satisfied by the look of the kids' room, with Aaron's play rug and the fabric'd out bunk beds all done and the drum set and doll house. It makes me so happy to do science experiments and go to Girl Scouting events and pray with them before they go to sleep at night - I think the best is how we figure out new things and get better at it every time. Like, I didn't know about slings or cloth diapers before I had Isaac. I never took control of my health and prenatal care before this pregnancy. We've consistently been more stable, more educated and more financially capable with each baby...in that respect, it just doesn't make any SENSE to make some sort of definitive decision that we are "done" forever now - NOW that we have everything we need for a baby in the house already and don't even have to buy anything new, now that we already have a vehicle with extra seating, etc. I DO want a break - I wouldn't want to get pregnant in the next 2-3 years, because I want to be out on our own or have this place to ourselves with Grant Sr moved out, due to space constraints, I want to continue to be able to provide one on one time to each of them daily, and my body could use a break. But it's easy for me to imagine wanting another "pair" (like A and A are and Isaac and Jake will be) after that. It's easy for me to imagine Grant and I being 35 and most of them being basically grown and deciding to start all over, because we just can't stand not having a baby or toddler around anymore. /end tons of kids stuff
We spent the whole day out yesterday; Grant had to fix some internet issues for a customer up in Miami, and I had to get more yellowdock from Wild Oats, where we ended up having late lunch, and then he also ended up stopping to look at someone's computer in Pinecrest, on the way home. We brought homeschool supplies so that A and A could do workbook pages or get read to in the van, while Isaac nursed/got changed/ran amock as we waited for G. It ended up feeling really productive to me - he made $150, I was out of the house for hours, we ate well and Ananda learned new phonics rules. When I got home, my mother, mother in law, father and sister had all called while I was out...and I have to admit I was glad to dodge the labor questions for at least one day. From the top of a parking garage Aaron thinks that north Miami looks like "a city with lots of brocoli growing all over it".
The birth center show started yesterday :) I have a sweet lady tivo'ing and recording it for me, but it's still driving me batty that she's SEEN it already, and I have to wait!
Today's agenda includes lots and lots of fall-type cooking. I have peaches that will be muffins, pumpkins that will be pies, and apples that will be sauce. I think we'll do chicken and yellow rice for dinner, it's been a long time. I'm finding I actually feel a lot BETTER, when I'm on my feet most of the day moving, then I do when I try to relax. That just makes me get all stiff and sore and then it feels too hard when I DO move. When I am sitting I'll be working on orders - I did a bit of that yesterday, too, and the day before, and am starting to see some new stuff near completion for mailing out.
I had/have a huge update I would like to type up, about how I love all of my children, Grant and I can easily imagine wanting/having more in the future, and I'm damn tired of total strangers in the grocery store asking if I'm getting my tubes tied and neighbors yelling "No more! No more!" across the street at me (that really happens!). I feel like only children are missing out bigtime and like closely spaced siblings have much cooler relationships...but I'm sure as heck not lambasting random women at the park for not feeling the same way within their own choices! It just boggles my mind that people see kids - new life, the ultimate blessing, etc - as this huge burdensome chore and interpret many of them as some sort of insane excess. I still do look forward to one day going back to school, being a chaplain, writing things that get published...but on another level, it really seems like anything else I do will be so empty, compared to raising children right. I'm so *fulfilled* by holidays and traditions within a big family...and absurdly satisfied by the look of the kids' room, with Aaron's play rug and the fabric'd out bunk beds all done and the drum set and doll house. It makes me so happy to do science experiments and go to Girl Scouting events and pray with them before they go to sleep at night - I think the best is how we figure out new things and get better at it every time. Like, I didn't know about slings or cloth diapers before I had Isaac. I never took control of my health and prenatal care before this pregnancy. We've consistently been more stable, more educated and more financially capable with each baby...in that respect, it just doesn't make any SENSE to make some sort of definitive decision that we are "done" forever now - NOW that we have everything we need for a baby in the house already and don't even have to buy anything new, now that we already have a vehicle with extra seating, etc. I DO want a break - I wouldn't want to get pregnant in the next 2-3 years, because I want to be out on our own or have this place to ourselves with Grant Sr moved out, due to space constraints, I want to continue to be able to provide one on one time to each of them daily, and my body could use a break. But it's easy for me to imagine wanting another "pair" (like A and A are and Isaac and Jake will be) after that. It's easy for me to imagine Grant and I being 35 and most of them being basically grown and deciding to start all over, because we just can't stand not having a baby or toddler around anymore. /end tons of kids stuff
We spent the whole day out yesterday; Grant had to fix some internet issues for a customer up in Miami, and I had to get more yellowdock from Wild Oats, where we ended up having late lunch, and then he also ended up stopping to look at someone's computer in Pinecrest, on the way home. We brought homeschool supplies so that A and A could do workbook pages or get read to in the van, while Isaac nursed/got changed/ran amock as we waited for G. It ended up feeling really productive to me - he made $150, I was out of the house for hours, we ate well and Ananda learned new phonics rules. When I got home, my mother, mother in law, father and sister had all called while I was out...and I have to admit I was glad to dodge the labor questions for at least one day. From the top of a parking garage Aaron thinks that north Miami looks like "a city with lots of brocoli growing all over it".
The birth center show started yesterday :) I have a sweet lady tivo'ing and recording it for me, but it's still driving me batty that she's SEEN it already, and I have to wait!
Today's agenda includes lots and lots of fall-type cooking. I have peaches that will be muffins, pumpkins that will be pies, and apples that will be sauce. I think we'll do chicken and yellow rice for dinner, it's been a long time. I'm finding I actually feel a lot BETTER, when I'm on my feet most of the day moving, then I do when I try to relax. That just makes me get all stiff and sore and then it feels too hard when I DO move. When I am sitting I'll be working on orders - I did a bit of that yesterday, too, and the day before, and am starting to see some new stuff near completion for mailing out.
