(no subject)

[altarflame]

There were packages galore today.

First off, I got my incredible Steve Madden shoes:


I am so in love with them and so drunk on being newly appreciative of shoes and having money at the same time, I also ordered these today when I saw they had them:


I'm still considering whether I "need" them in white, burnt orange, brown and red, too. I mean, come on, I'm actually going to have a closet of my own to display them in, soon ;) My justification is that I can wear them to church every Sunday for the rest of my life; as in, even if there is no other occassion to wear heels to, there will always be that, so why not get some to match any conceivable dress :p

Elise's new fitted diapers came.

Then, in an onslought, UPS delivered the big old Gymboree box along with my Nicoletta Ceccoli print and some things of Grant's.

I don't know what to think of my investment in higher quality childrens' clothing. I got them all dressed up in their new duds and they looked so adorable I thought, I need to make a habit of this. And then LITERALLY within the hour, Aaron had ripped a hole in the knee of his pants, Isaac had pooped "but only a tiny bit" in his shorts and gotten Nutella all over his face, and Jake was soaked down the front from the hose.













I don't really know how anyone manages to keep kids' clothes in resale condition, especially BOYS' clothes. I really don't.

The Nicoletta Ceccoli print - which is the picture used for this icon, her painting "Corvi" - is incredible. First of all, in something larger than 100x100 pixels (it's actually 14"x14"), you can see the richness of the grass and the brushstrokes on the hair and it's just great. Also, whoa, it came hand signed and numbered 87/101, both in pencil. No wonder the thing cost $300. I mean damn, I just wanted to find it on allposters.com or something ;)

I really, really, REALLY wanted to go to FIU's art department's "Spring Review" tonight, and had planned it in advance, but a whole lot of things conflicted and it wasn't meant to be, I guess. Sorry we weren't there, Shaun.


Speaking of culture and glamour, tomorrow we're spending all day long de-lousing again *big sarcastic thumbs up*!!! Honestly I am so sick to death of headlice, I would like to never see one again as long as I live. Mindy's girls keep giving it back to us when they come over here to spend the weekend, and then they get rid of it but I don't realize Annie has hatching eggs again and they go home with it, etc etc FOREVER. Laura is terrified Brian is going to catch it and keeping his head buzzed, I am beyond over combing through hair, and I REFUSE to move into a new house with head lice on board. I've designated every Friday in April as "Lice Day": we're doing the whole shebang with shampoo, vaccuming, bedding through ultra hot wash with tea tree oil, couch cushion covers, spraying toxic chemicals all over the house, ALL OF IT, with boiling brushes and combing until my hands are numb. And then we're doing it again the next Friday. And the Friday after that. And the Friday after that. Mindy and Teresa are doing Patrice and Nadia's hair and entire house, too, also weekly. If there is some way that somehow something somewhere is missed after all of that...I just don't know. I really don't. The best I can come up with is, maybe the girls get it from school and can't come to our new house until we know they're totally free of it. I'm just hoping that doing it once or doing it two weeks in a row wasn't thorough enough, because it always seems as though they are totally gone after we do it, for a few days or a couple weeks, but then I guess more eggs hatch or something?

For the record, I spent months trying to use baby oil as a 3-day smothering agent AND as a one time combing aid, tea tree oil, the new homeopathic lice treatment, we've been doing the whole Suave Coconut Oil shampoo and conditioner thing...please spare me the natural tips. I know there are people who swear by mayonnaise, vinegar, and/or vaseline, but eww, DEAR LORD EWW and I've read about that taking WEEKS to rinse out and being impossible to comb through anyway. My toddler and preschooler are not going to sleep in shower caps. This is it.

Elise is just getting copious combing and nitpicking, as I can't bear to put RID on her head yet, and don't think I could safely keep it off of her hands or, thus, out of her mouth, anyway.


As far as "our house" (the house we really want, that I wrote about):

Due to all kinds of talk with the listing agent and going back and forth with Teresa and the amount of properties the bank has to deal with, etc etc etc, we ended up submitting an offer early yesterday morning for $214,000 along with a refundable cashier's check deposit of $22,000 (the bank had apparently set up terms with the listing agent that they weren't taking anyone seriously without at least a 10% deposit up front), all contingent on an inspection not revealing more than $7000 in problems with the property. We were supposed to hear an answer today but it looks like tomorrow, now. It is KILLING ME waiting. Killing me. We are apparently the only people who've made an offer on this house so far, which I think is partially because it's a very low traffic area and partially because the pictures online are HORRIBLE, blurry, non-enlargeable thumbnails that do it no justice whatsoever. Teresa expects them to counter-offer at least once as it was listed at 235k, appraised at 277 and sold last time around for 305. It's surrounded by houses that sold for 250-400k. But, if they accept our initial offer, which I feel like has to be at least a possibility with that deposit and our paying cash, our closing date would be APRIL 25. SO SOON!!

It is very surreal to be feeling almost wealthy for the first time in my life during a time period when the economy is flagging so badly...there are foreclosures on nearly every block in many neighborhoods here in Homestead, and I was reading yesterday about whole subdivisions in places like Cleveland and Denver that sprang up 2 years ago and are ghost towns now, with bank lockboxes on nearly every door. There is a nationwide spiking demand for low-cost apartments as former-homeowners try to avoid homelessness. They are estimating 1.2 million foreclosures in the past 12 months, and expect the next 12 months to be worse.

One of our favorite stores, a locally owned place in the shopping plaza we often walk to, is closing down. The co-owners have been in business for 14 years but they are blaming the economy. They sell things like handmade quilts, expensive fancy candy from bulk bins, unique cards and tons of frou frou old lady stuff like antique-looking-but-actually-brand-new furniture. We bought our dining table there last Fall. Anyway, it is a little bit awesome to have a place with a lot of things I like putting all their merchandise on clearance when I am buying my first home and have some money to spend outfitting it; on the other hand, though, that was really the ONLY "class" in that plaza, and the kids LOVE going in there, and the owner is almost what I would call a friend. She's followed our whole story, with Boston and Elise and the sponge and all that crap, and sent free gifts to my hospital room. It just bites to see people struggling on all sides. I feel very grateful to be "safe" from short-term recession problems, with Grant having just landed a very good job with a ton of advancement opportunities, a great benefits package and 12 hour shifts that allow for either 3 or 4 days off in a row each week.

It is WEIRD being treated differently because we have some money; we were at the bank putting $300k in a Money Market account to gain interest while we aren't using it, and the lady helping us was like, running to the printer when she had to get something for us to sign, and being all extra-special-nice. Grant was sitting there in his crocs-with-socks, shorts, tshirt and straw hat, and he theorized while she was sprinting to our hard copy that we probably seemed "Eccentric" to her and perhaps she was seeing my gigantic, red $20 Claire's purse as being worth a whole lot more :p

Sidenote: we can actually make like $900 this month just by letting that three hundred grand sit in a money market account instead of a regular checking account. And we can still access it and everything, in the meantime (though only a limited number of times without penalty). There isn't risk involved or anything. What the heck.

I will leave you with a few other pictures that I took today.











That's Nadia with A and A, she's one of Mindy's twins.

Comments

[custard-kisses.livejournal.com]

I love the turquoise shoes, so adorable, I wish I could wear those sort of heals but I need the ones that go straight down to offset my fankles.

[altarflame.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I actually have surprisingly tapered and feminine ankles for someone with Calves of Doom and Thighs of the Appocalypse ;) I won't wear practically anything that shows my knees, though.

[florassecret.livejournal.com]

dude, those shoes rock! Won't it be nice to sit in your Sunday dress, after church drinking your iced tea in those awesome shoes. I <3 You because you're doing what I would have done. I remember when I had 30G and I went fucking nuts. I bought a bed for us, 2G, a bed for my oldest, 600 bucks, a car 4G, a year of insurance 1200, and paid off my student loans, 12G, which left me with little to have a vacation and some spending cash. We lived well for a whole year. I think we dined out a little more than average (instead of once a month like we do now, to 3 times a month and really some people thought that was stingy)

[florassecret.livejournal.com]

and ps, we have that trike. :D I cannot wait for Elise's birthday. We're both turning a year older May 1st.

[altarflame.livejournal.com]

My mom bought it for Ananda, and it has gone down through them one by one. It is currently in transition between Isaac and Jake, because Isaac has been especially loathe to give it up and Jake is especially uninterested in it.

[florassecret.livejournal.com]

I never had a trike for Jocelyn, when she turned 2 Grandma bought her a two wheeler with training wheels. It's amazing how you can hand-me-down toys though, as we have up to 10 years of toys with Jocelyn. I just put them all away and brought out the right aged toys for Madeline when she needed them. Then I put them away. LOL I'm a pack rat, I cannot just throw things away.
And like Heather below. Yes, do think about a vacation (I know you just went to Boston a year ago...(how time flies) but you deserve a real one. Something with noting attached.
Canada is great. You'll be blown away if you ever do come here.

[altarflame.livejournal.com]

It has actually been an INCREDIBLE struggle every step of the way, such a fucking headache...I've cried from tension buildup more than once since we found out how much and when. Thank God Grant and I can see eye to eye on just about anything with some talking it through, or else I can't imagine how hard this whole situation would be.

I know it sounds nuts, but really...when you have the first chance of your life to set aside a retirement fund, or kids' savings accounts, but also it's the first time to really be generous with people you love, but you think you need to tithe, and you NEED a second vehicle, and OF COURSE you want to get a house outright while you can - but which one? And where? Any mortgage at all? It's our only chance to have a great vacation! Our only chance to shop for all the things we've always wanted! Our only chance to RENOVATE the house we buy, which increases equity and quality of life, our only chance to take a vacation to all sorts of places. There is all this debt that has to get paid off first and foremost and swallows up a chunk. What if this is my once in a lifetime opportunity to write?

I don't know if you know what I mean, but the pressure to make the most of this, to have a plan, to NOT end up with regrets, is freaking crazy. I think we're doing pretty well striking a balance and since we really set it all down over the course of many, many hours I feel better than I did - I can shop within a budget, for instance - but I was losing my mind for a couple of weeks there.

What did you get 30k for?

[florassecret.livejournal.com]

I absolutely know what you're going through. It's along and complicated story here's the short story: my mom died, just over 9 years ago, then soon after that my grandfather died, and left us and my one and uncle money.
I couldn't get us a house not on 30G so we went and did the right thing by paying my bills off, buying things we needed and had a nice vacation. It doesn't last long.

[florassecret.livejournal.com]

"one and uncle" = my one and remaining uncle (sadly besides my siblings, and one cousin he's the only family left.)

[altarflame.livejournal.com]

Oh yeah, 30k is not enough to build a life on or something, I didn't mean to imply you weren't great with it! I mean, come on, you paid off some bills and bought furniture! Of course you took a vacation - you had 30k dropped on you.

"it doesn't last long"

This is what I am crazily aware of and frightened by. I want to have a lot to show on the other side of it being gone. It looks like "a lot" will be a house and two reliable vehicles, paid for outright and not owing, no other outstanding debt, a retirement plan set up, life insurance in place, a lot of nice things, some cool memories, a sense of fulfillment from various helping things, and beyond that...who knows. I'm still working on it :p

You know I had a great great grandmother that owned an ISLAND in the FLorida Keys? She sold it off at a ridiculously low price a couple of years back and everyone in the family was like WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!?! Likewise my paternal grandparents had a house - a 3/2 - with a YARD that had a POOL in it, on Key West, when I was little...I don't know if you know what that means, but let me tell you, it's over a million dollars easy. My Aunt Michelle bought a little (LITTLE) two bedroom townhouse in Key West for $600k 2 years ago. Anyway my Ma and Pa sold that house for like 80k and thought they did well since they bought it for half that. This was in about 1990. *sigh*

[babyslime.livejournal.com]

So like... this is all well and good, but when are you coming to CANADA?!

[altarflame.livejournal.com]

Um...Tyra of Doom.

Wow.

Alright. Setting aside your threatening icon, I will try to answer as if I am not balled up in the corner explaning this in a squeaking tone of voice ;)

Basically if Grant quits his job for me to write, we'll take a big trip before I start writing. If Grant keeps his job and I write part time on days off, we have to wait for his paid leave, which would be like...uh...*sigh*...I don't remember. It might be a whole year after he started? Which would be a little under 10 months from now? But then we would have two whole weeks - well, possibly plus some extra, if we worked it right with his normal days off and his shifts and junk...

I'm gonna level with you, what we really want to do is rent an RV and drive all over the country in it, to campgrounds and national parks and things, and stuff like showing Elise off in Boston or seeing Dama again would be easy in that time frame, but Canada - not easy. Possibly possible if we were to, I don't know, start off by flying there and then rent the RV where you are? Then it wouldn't be out of the way in a rountrip way. What would you guys say if I said, how about an all-expense-paid trip to Florida, not during Hurricane season and guaranteed through voodoo to be free of large spiders, scorpions and other potentially lethal bugs? I know you want me to see it there, and I am still considering it and trying to figure out how to make it happen, but it is like a logic puzzle to figure out...

[babyslime.livejournal.com]

I would freak the fuck out, for a large variety of reasons. I'm no good with flights and the jet lag honestly scares me because I went to Ontario once and was SO JET LAGGED that I almost died. I spent most of the trip passing out in exhaustion. Then again, that was a red-eye and I didn't sleep a wink on it... *finds more excuses why she should not accept*.

BUT, I know it's way easier.
And we'd have to figure out something with Curtis' vacation time.
And I'd be thinking, "Uh... that's totally undeserving. kthnx".

I actually discussed this over coffee with Curtis today, and saying that you guys SHOULD RV it to make it super fun and prevent jet lag. Jet lag sucks muffins.

[altarflame.livejournal.com]

RV'ing sounds really great to us, but RV'ing to Western Canada sounds somewhat intimidating, I have to admit.

So, you would not be having to DESERVE the vacation, you would have to PUT UP WITH playing to my whims and conveniences ;) See the difference? This should be much easier to accept, you can even grumble a bit as needed.

Honestly though if you were to do that, I would be more than willing to;
1. let you pick the flight times
2. let you sleep for a day and a half once you got here, WHILE watching your children as much as they and you would allow, because that honestly sounds fun to me. No really, fun. And profitable! They're e-famous, I could auction off pics and videos and maybe even local playdates.
3. be more understanding and generally normal than your in-laws, such that you would feel alright about saying, "Ugh, I feel like shit and can't go anywhere today. Make me muffins and tea. I'm getting in your garden tub for the whole afternoon. You can bring the muffins and tea in there."

[altarflame.livejournal.com]

I think that them understanding/admitting that A and A really have your dna is a weird obsession to have at this point; I think you're trying to "fix" something else. You need to look inside yourself and figure out what that validation would do for you, what it is you're searching for. Because if this was like 6-7 years ago and we were living together, it would have made sense for you to be hell bent that they get it, and sending them pictures. But now? Ok, I know you're going to call "Psychobabble" or tell me I'm going Dr Phil on you, and/or just think I'm a heartless bitch, so really, think about this logically:
-You aren't even really in contact with your parents anymore. When you are, it's horrible and you swear it off forever again.
-You see the kids less than you ever have, it's been 7 months since a visit that was more than a year after the one previous
-you claim to have long made peace with the idea that G and I are staying together, to be genuinely grateful to him for being such a good dad to the kids, and to have your own aspirations in life, and are planning to move several more states north into your own destiny and away from "all this".
-If your parents really did verbally admit that it's all true, it would probably come along with some huge tirades and screamfests about why you aren't financially supporting them and/or aren't in their lives, that I am SURE you would be stressed the hell out by bigtime.
-Both of us know that, really? They totally do already know. They deal with everything through denial. Your mom especially though, it is so glaringly insanely obvious, come on.

So what is it? Is it that you can't stand the invisible, silent tension of having NOT had that screamfest? Or that it represents their larger sense of denying every-damn-thing? Or that you think you deserve a tirade and got off easy? Do you feel like it will make you more their father to be able to talk about it with your family?

You acted like it was no big deal on the phone but I really thought it was, like, CRAZILY huge that you emailed them pictures out of the blue. I mean even when you and I were together the agreement was that it was better to keep them out of the kids' lives. And they don't even live in town now, or treat YOU right.

You don't have to answer me. I just think that maybe if you figured out what you're searching for here, you could possibly deal with it and this frustration would ease a bit.

[altarflame.livejournal.com]

Alright I guess. Hearing that and then reading this both out of the blue made it seem like more, but I'm not in your head.

Also you said "everytime I see pictures of Jake and Elise it makes me want to shove them in their faces and say SEE!" it just seemed like a frequent and extreme reaction the way you phrased it. Like the antithesis of "meh".

[failstoexist.livejournal.com]

oh my goodness, Jake's little hat and shorts...so adorable!

kids are tough on clothes for sure. But good quality clothes should hold up to a lot more wear/washings than cheaper stuff. They look adorable though-and Annie looks so grown up!

And your shoes are gorgeous. I wish I could wear things like that--all the really super pretty shoes don't fit my feet. they're pretty giant. :)

[the-leh.livejournal.com]

The headlice debacle sounds like the same misery I went through with the fleas (which are still not 100% gone. every now and then I see a one or two bites on the kids. But I've sprayed the place down so many times, and the cats got more Frontline than they're supposed to have, and I just can't think of what more I could do. I'm not seeing eggs or fleas anymore, so, maybe the few bumps I saw on Jane/Erica were from something else. I rarely see them now, so that's nice.

I really hope you get that house!

On the gymboree clothes: they really do last longer. I've never had my kids split a knee or something, but I have girls so...maybe it's different with boys. I've usually been able to pass down clothes from Jane to Erica (not always though, obviously), and they're just better made. I figured out that I'm actually saving money buying Gymboree on sale versus buying Target clothes which I don't even think are all that cheap anyway and they tend to fall apart pretty easily.

[superflippy.livejournal.com]

Love the picture of Annie in the tree! And I totally covet those shoes.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_delphiki_/]

Maddox (see how I can FINALLY write his name in an open post and not get all paranoid?!?!?!) is super easy on his clothes but he's pretty attached to most of them. He has some play clothes he gets all gross but he's never torn or ripped anything.

Your children are so precious, no matter what clothes they are wearing. I truely hope I get to meet them (and you and grant) someday.

Also- I fully realize I do NOT know the whole situation with Ananda and Aaron but AMEN to what you said to tmfi.

[lost-almost.livejournal.com]

I totally covet those blue shoes and Ananda's glasses.

Looking beautiful!

[(Anonymous)]

The children are all just poster-kids for outdoor summer fun in those outfits, but really, you don't want a closet fully of new, matched, adorable stuff - because you don't want to be that mum that thinks (or says) "can't do that in your good clothes". So much easier to be non-chalant when the mudpuddle jumps up on the hand-me-down outfit!
But for sure the new clothes enhance some already gorgeous kids ...
And very interesting as an "onlooker" to see you working through this intense spot in your life, that most of us cannot imagine - some really wise and mature thinking happening. (anne)

[talonslady.livejournal.com]

I am really glad you are so happy and having a good day! (I hope Isaac doesn't spoil it for you) I love the pictures! Especially the one of Annie in the tree, she is all about "check me out, I'm stylin", and the picture of Jakey in that hat and matching shorts! Adorable!
Love you all bunches!!!