Pictures!!

[altarflame]

I'm talking about a dragon cake, an extremely high tide, shoelace people...you just have to see it all to believe it all.

We'll start with Elise. My beasty.




I got this little chair for her on clearance for only $9.98. Marked down from over $50. And, wow does she ever look like me as a little girl.


This is what Ananda and Aaron do with their free time. The head is parts of a train track.

Floor down, baseboards to go...

Isaac calls knights either "guys" or "nightmares". Either way, this one is coming for you.


She was all naked on taco night and so happy to be wrapped up in her elephant blanket (it has a little stuffed elephant sewn on one corner). This blanket is another amazing find - it was $4 at BJ's. Anyway, you can't tell, but she was patting it and saying "buh, buh" affectionately.


Then the cameraman made her laugh.


This is the cake I made Jake for his third birthday. He liked it a lot.


Flying, fire breathing (cartoon) dragon.


He wanted cake and presents at the beach. "At a table!" he kept telling us. My kids are so beautiful, I swear I'm burning my retinas just looking at this.


And I wanted to tell Dama, uh, I guess the tide WASN'T in that day we went to Anne's Beach, because this is what I found when we went to leave the other evening...

It was not really that dark out, it was the effect of the flash making it look that way.

Boardwalk "authentic New Jersey Italian" pizza. Pepperoni, mushrooms, tomato, and Garlic with a capital G.


I thought of Dama at this point, too, since we were all eating at a table outside in our bathingsuits. Dama was like, "we have to change!!" when I said we were going to a restaurant after the beach.




Things seem at least temporarily stable to me.

We have our house to ourselves again. My mom, she made things crazy. She was crazy. I mean, I don't know how to explain it. Not just "crazy" but real crazy, like, um, wow. And my brother, I love him, but he shifts everything in the "video games and a bad attitude" direction, even when he's mowing the grass or taking out the garbage. And even though we had to spend a ton of money to get them back to Jacksonville...at least now we know the total and it's not just some indefinitely growing amount of money we're spending on all that. She's on her own. I hope she does ok.

My mom hates reading stuff like this in my journal. But, really, that is such the tip of the iceberg, and I have written almost nothing for the past month and a half about the neverending drama. At one point my father told me I should Baker Act her with complete sincerity and real concern.

She would say that is blown out of proportion and that I always make things out to be more than they are. To that I say, right. Whatever.


I get the results of my pelvic ultrasound back tomorrow, and I suppose that could derail this whole stability thing. But I am not nearly as worried as I would expect. I feel pretty good about it. We'll see. The top three causes of heavy and irregular uterine bleeding, in order, are benign ovarian cysts, benign uterine fibroids, and benign cervical polyps. Those three things are really common and I fit the profile for any/all very well. I am still nervous, but it's in the way I think most people are nervous waiting for medical test results, rather than in that special ptsd way that involves hyper-awareness of mortality and a constant feeling of fight or flight panic.

Other than being in love with Grant, I think the two biggest things going on in my personal (read: Non-mommy) life right now are as follow:
1. Weight struggles - trying to keep to my eating plan, trying to deal with thinking I'm beautiful then thinking I'm gross then thinking I'm embarassed to leave the house, and then feeling sexy, all in 2 hours.
2. Walking with God, as is the title of my devotional page for today.

Come to think of it, I invited God back into my life and heart at around the same time I started to think maybe I could deal, and I'm blaming a lot of this simple calm on my mother leaving but I'll bet it's bigger than that. I mean, my mom DID do a lot of dishes, after all, so come on.

Comments

[yolen.livejournal.com]

Elise is adorable! She looks so much like you! And Jake!

[mayflowermama.livejournal.com]

Love the cake! Looks like a little boy's dream cake!

[pikefish.livejournal.com]

wow! that was a lot o' post! first let me say-- I love Elise's skirt in the first pic and her chair is adorable! do you cut her hair or is it just short and curly-- it looks so thick! your kids are beautiful.

the weight issue is one that I am also battling with but I, unlike you, am not really watching what I eat. I think it helps to have a loving husband who validates that you are sexy to him (which I don't have).

hope the u/s gives you some definite answers-- I'll be watching for your post.

[altarflame.livejournal.com]

It just grows like that. I did do a single snip to this one raggedy piece she had hanging down her neck giving her a sort of mullet, but, really, it was ONE snip, a single time, and that was 2 months ago already.

Twice I have been asked if her hair is naturally curly, which I find baffling...to people really curl babies' hair?

As for the ultrasound, I have two simple cysts on my right ovary that appear benign and some free fluid in my pelvis that is probably from ovarian cysts. I have to go back in 4-6 weeks for another follow-up ultrasound to check on how they are then. I still have more questions and am waiting for the doctor to call me back and answer them, since I foolishly went googling my diagnosis right away.

[zeldazonk.livejournal.com]

Elise looks so much like Jake to me.


They're all so cute!

[mommydama.livejournal.com]

Yes. I'm weird. We HAVE to change out of bathing suits before going to restaurants! It is just...necessary! Heh.

Okay. That cake? I'm just so impressed I don't have words. Wow.

And you are right. Your children are amazingly beautiful. I miss you all so much right now it is painful.

I'm glad your mom is...well, I'm glad things are stablized for now.

[altarflame.livejournal.com]

For what it's worth, I think it IS totally necessary to change out of bathingsuits for restaurants outside of the Keys. I can definitely recognize how it would feel awkward for someone "from away" who hadn't ever been there before.

The cake is actually really simple, I found instructions online - it's just two round cakes cut up according to the directions, frosted in the color of your choice, and then they tell you what to get for the other parts: chocolate covered grahams you cut to be triangles, a marshmallow and chocolate chips for the eyes, fruit roll ups on wooden skewers for the wings, etc.

We miss you too.

[the-leh.livejournal.com]

I feel that way about my weight too. A lot. I'm steadily losing but even so I am terrified I won't be able to lose the (minium 10, preferably 30) lbs I gained this year. And then I think, "I don't look half bad...why should I buy into society's idea of what kind of body is acceptable" then I think "I JUST WANT TO BE THIN." Blah.

That cake is like AWESOME. How did you get the idea to do that?

[altarflame.livejournal.com]

There's a WikiHow that details it, along with several other sites - if you google "how to make a dragon cake" it pops up right away, and is way simpler than you'd imagine when you just follow directions. I've made other "theme" cakes that blow people away the same way - magazines like Family Fun and all sorts of websites are brimming with ideas for stuff like that, and you just copy step by step. That dragon for instance is just two round cakes cut according to instructions, and the accessories they tell you to buy arranged the way they say.

I never replied to you saying I was so pretty in the other entry, but Thanks. I was looking back at the pictures like, "is she looking at the same pictures I am..." :p

[babyslime.livejournal.com]

February. Early February.
From that question you asked the last time you called me.

[altarflame.livejournal.com]

Well.

I feel like death saying this.

But I don't know if I'll be able to afford it.

We got the loan, yeah, but I just spent $1160 on a pelvic ultrasound this week, and found out on the phone today that I have to have a follow-up in 4-6 weeks to monitor ovarian cysts and free fluid I have in my abdomen that is probably from cysts.

I am paying a cardiologist out of pocket for an EKG, stress test and chest x-ray next week.

I'm paying for anything anyone says I need over the next several months, and frankly it's REALLY TERRIFYING financially, because, well, I've watched hundreds of thousands of dollars in medical debt rack up before. I'm currently owing hundreds of thousands, but I'm ignoring that, but I CAN'T ignore amounts I have to pay up front for non-emergency treatments...

You are one more reason why I hate all of this so much and am finding it hard to deal with. And hoping to not be in the OR anytime soon :/

[superflippy.livejournal.com]

I love the shoelace guy, and I especially love that A and A got the idea to make it together. What a trip!

[ariellejuliana.livejournal.com]

Oh man, I don't know if I've missed some Elise pictures or what, but I can't BELIEVE how big and beautiful she is! What a darling, smiley, curley headed little girl! I think all your kids are gorgeous, but Elise and Jake give me irresistable smooching urges.