Super Heavy Existential Crisis Saturday
May. 18th, 2013 05:31 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
altarflameFucking GAH.
Ok! In the past 24 hours:
-a woman was thrown in a van and kidnapped in the parking lot of Grant's job; he and some other people in the office heard her screaming from upstairs. Cops were called. There is video footage, but it's not clear or close enough for identifying the victim or perpetrator :/ For what it's worth, he works adjacent to a nice hotel in a 7 story office building on a main road and this was broad daylight. I'm doing that thing people do, where you hope there's a lot more to this story and it wasn't totally random because then it could be anyone...like, alright, it's possible this is some kinky consensual shit arranged via Craigslist...right?!?!
-we found our missing cat, Elvis. Dead, under our deck :/ I have no idea what happened to him, and it was not something we could discern looking at him. He hadn't acted strangely, he just went missing and aside from looking for him a lot we didn't know what to do...then it started stinking out there. Elvis was born on my bed three years ago, and used to ride around in my cleavage. He slept with Annie most nights, but Isaac sometimes. Ugh. Grant buried him and it was horrific, just, it is really hot and really rainy and nobody was allowed outside until he was done. G's felt sick all day since. Sophie, Ananda's cat, was at the doors yowling and acting disturbed the whole time he was working and has been lying in Elvis's "spots" around the house all day, since.
-someone whose life I have been following online for about 7 years, and vice versa, announced on facebook that her husband had a stroke driving their son home after work/school yesterday. They're 33. The guy managed to pull over and call for help and seems as ok as he can be, even joking a little in the ICU, but... O_O It's so terrifying and seemingly random :/ This family lives in the greater Boston area and are just getting over the whole city wide terror shit from the Marathon bombers.
I have already been in a state of thinking of my stroke-addled Nana and aging Pa daily, since Aaron and I went up there for the dance convention last month, and have spent the past couple of weeks forcing away shitty thoughts about the abducted women found in Ohio as I allow my kids to branch out and do things. Now my terrible, raised-on-horror writer's mind is seeing all our cats as potentially rotting carcasses and not wanting to handle raw meat. It's pretty terrible.
In an effort to distract myself, while cuddling with Grant, I somehow got sucked into a ridiculous New Times article about a cult based out of central Florida and the crimes, abuse, rape, and so forth they're being accused of now that their guru has died and people are bringing all the stories to light.
How is any of this shit real life? How is ALL OF IT real life? I mean when I was a teenager/young adult I knew of a local cult with a weird prophet-guru, one of our best friends was in a serious relationship with a member and they collectively owned a business we went to a lot. But they were totally peaceful cultists.
Then I start thinking of how people are so desperate for meaning and long for systems of continuity that distract us from the impermanence of everything and how every single thing we do is a way to fill the time we have and make the best of it, O_O You know, as I cuddle and console Elise while she sobs about Elvis being dead.
After writing that first bit - I actually forgot all this crap for half an hour and laughed hysterically just by forcing myself through several pages of okcupidgoldmine.tumblr.com - you see what a paragon of depth and meaning I am, over here?
*sigh*
...ah-ight, more pictures from the vault...
Getting gas in my mother's neighborhood. This car had THE LOUDEST bass I have ever experienced, and I've spent a lot of time around Miami, so...that's saying something. I think my teeth were actually shaking with it.
My mom has kind of a tiger...problem? She's got tigers tattooed all over her, and framed pictures and those decorative plates, and she sleeps under a tiger blanket, etc etc etc.
But those are life size heads. They weigh 30 pounds each. I was like, Mom. MOM. She completely misunderstood, acted flattered, and said, "Can you believe I found those at the flea market???" at which point Bob and I got to bond through mutual hysterical laughter.
Out to eat.
I slept SO LITTLE, it was absolutely ridiculous - 3 hours Friday night and 2.5 Saturday. Sunday I resorted to caffeine, but all weekend I was layering on an absolutely ridiculous amount of makeup to appear vaguely human.
This is "defensive dressing" :p I get in high stress situations where I find length and layers comforting, even though it's hot. It's like how some people feel about macaroni and cheese. Hmm, maybe I should see it as more positive that I've been living in a knee length, spaghetti strap sundress whenever possbile for the last 2 weeks....
Sunday called for drastic measures.
My mother, as we waited for results after the competition.
After party (IHOP). He was wearing thin by this point, I think he'd been up for like 18 hours and 9 of them had been spent dancing.
Next morning.
That day, after all the classes were over and there was a staff performance, they called up Scholarship finalists and basically built up the possibility and prestige of actually getting the scholarship in the most dramatic and heart-rending ways possible for all the kids sitting there in front of everyone. Then they announced the winners...and Aaron was not one of them. Spoiled from his year on the JUMP tour and how his dance as a whole swept the competition the previous night, he was really really upset about this.
(scholarship finalist certificate)
We had to talk for awhile about how lots of people did not get called up on the stage, and he is not gonna win everything. I think it helped that his studio owner made a big show of congratulating the couple of people who got finalist.
He still came home saying he wishes we could do a lot more dance conventions O_o
Pictures Grant texted me that weekend - this is the little kids when their massive care package of rice cakes came from Isaac's penpal and my poetry buddy/nutrition advisor, Samara :)
And this is Ananda with the GMYS Young Mozarts, getting ready to perform at Pinecrest Gardens for their Earth Day event.
Ok! In the past 24 hours:
-a woman was thrown in a van and kidnapped in the parking lot of Grant's job; he and some other people in the office heard her screaming from upstairs. Cops were called. There is video footage, but it's not clear or close enough for identifying the victim or perpetrator :/ For what it's worth, he works adjacent to a nice hotel in a 7 story office building on a main road and this was broad daylight. I'm doing that thing people do, where you hope there's a lot more to this story and it wasn't totally random because then it could be anyone...like, alright, it's possible this is some kinky consensual shit arranged via Craigslist...right?!?!
-we found our missing cat, Elvis. Dead, under our deck :/ I have no idea what happened to him, and it was not something we could discern looking at him. He hadn't acted strangely, he just went missing and aside from looking for him a lot we didn't know what to do...then it started stinking out there. Elvis was born on my bed three years ago, and used to ride around in my cleavage. He slept with Annie most nights, but Isaac sometimes. Ugh. Grant buried him and it was horrific, just, it is really hot and really rainy and nobody was allowed outside until he was done. G's felt sick all day since. Sophie, Ananda's cat, was at the doors yowling and acting disturbed the whole time he was working and has been lying in Elvis's "spots" around the house all day, since.
-someone whose life I have been following online for about 7 years, and vice versa, announced on facebook that her husband had a stroke driving their son home after work/school yesterday. They're 33. The guy managed to pull over and call for help and seems as ok as he can be, even joking a little in the ICU, but... O_O It's so terrifying and seemingly random :/ This family lives in the greater Boston area and are just getting over the whole city wide terror shit from the Marathon bombers.
I have already been in a state of thinking of my stroke-addled Nana and aging Pa daily, since Aaron and I went up there for the dance convention last month, and have spent the past couple of weeks forcing away shitty thoughts about the abducted women found in Ohio as I allow my kids to branch out and do things. Now my terrible, raised-on-horror writer's mind is seeing all our cats as potentially rotting carcasses and not wanting to handle raw meat. It's pretty terrible.
In an effort to distract myself, while cuddling with Grant, I somehow got sucked into a ridiculous New Times article about a cult based out of central Florida and the crimes, abuse, rape, and so forth they're being accused of now that their guru has died and people are bringing all the stories to light.
How is any of this shit real life? How is ALL OF IT real life? I mean when I was a teenager/young adult I knew of a local cult with a weird prophet-guru, one of our best friends was in a serious relationship with a member and they collectively owned a business we went to a lot. But they were totally peaceful cultists.
Then I start thinking of how people are so desperate for meaning and long for systems of continuity that distract us from the impermanence of everything and how every single thing we do is a way to fill the time we have and make the best of it, O_O You know, as I cuddle and console Elise while she sobs about Elvis being dead.
After writing that first bit - I actually forgot all this crap for half an hour and laughed hysterically just by forcing myself through several pages of okcupidgoldmine.tumblr.com - you see what a paragon of depth and meaning I am, over here?
*sigh*
...ah-ight, more pictures from the vault...
Getting gas in my mother's neighborhood. This car had THE LOUDEST bass I have ever experienced, and I've spent a lot of time around Miami, so...that's saying something. I think my teeth were actually shaking with it.
My mom has kind of a tiger...problem? She's got tigers tattooed all over her, and framed pictures and those decorative plates, and she sleeps under a tiger blanket, etc etc etc.
But those are life size heads. They weigh 30 pounds each. I was like, Mom. MOM. She completely misunderstood, acted flattered, and said, "Can you believe I found those at the flea market???" at which point Bob and I got to bond through mutual hysterical laughter.
Out to eat.
I slept SO LITTLE, it was absolutely ridiculous - 3 hours Friday night and 2.5 Saturday. Sunday I resorted to caffeine, but all weekend I was layering on an absolutely ridiculous amount of makeup to appear vaguely human.
This is "defensive dressing" :p I get in high stress situations where I find length and layers comforting, even though it's hot. It's like how some people feel about macaroni and cheese. Hmm, maybe I should see it as more positive that I've been living in a knee length, spaghetti strap sundress whenever possbile for the last 2 weeks....
Sunday called for drastic measures.
My mother, as we waited for results after the competition.
After party (IHOP). He was wearing thin by this point, I think he'd been up for like 18 hours and 9 of them had been spent dancing.
Next morning.
That day, after all the classes were over and there was a staff performance, they called up Scholarship finalists and basically built up the possibility and prestige of actually getting the scholarship in the most dramatic and heart-rending ways possible for all the kids sitting there in front of everyone. Then they announced the winners...and Aaron was not one of them. Spoiled from his year on the JUMP tour and how his dance as a whole swept the competition the previous night, he was really really upset about this.
(scholarship finalist certificate)
We had to talk for awhile about how lots of people did not get called up on the stage, and he is not gonna win everything. I think it helped that his studio owner made a big show of congratulating the couple of people who got finalist.
He still came home saying he wishes we could do a lot more dance conventions O_o
Pictures Grant texted me that weekend - this is the little kids when their massive care package of rice cakes came from Isaac's penpal and my poetry buddy/nutrition advisor, Samara :)
And this is Ananda with the GMYS Young Mozarts, getting ready to perform at Pinecrest Gardens for their Earth Day event.
